Wow! Three posts in two days . . . I must be on a role!
Anyways, I've been thinking a lot lately about the times in Scripture where it tells us that we need to remove sin from our lives . . . and that we need to remove it all costs.
God has been challenging me a lot on this in my life recently. It's one thing to be convicted of sin and confess it and ask for forgiveness. It's another thing to get serious about removing that sin, particularly if it's a habitual sin, from your life completely. I mean, I have sin in my life and I've confessed it to God and asked His forgiveness for it many times . . . and yet I always seem to fall back into it.
Well, lately God has been challenging me to get serious about doing something to change this in my life. And that has meant giving up some the activities that I fill my time with and some of the movies and tv shows I usually watch. And it's not always easy . . . especially when you have to explain to friends why you won't do a certain activity anymore when there's nothing inherently wrong or sinful about it . . . it's just something that causes you to stumble.
But sometimes with this kind of conviction it can be easy to get depressed and down on yourself. And I did and was. Yet, even in the midst of it all, God still loves us. He wants us to be becoming more like Christ and He will point out areas of sin in our lives where He desires change to come. But, He doesn't do that and then leave us to ourselves and to feel bad about ourselves. He loves us still and He walks beside us through the process of changing that area of our lives.
For the past week, I've been trying to make sense of all that went on between me and God at the retreat I was at last weekend. (Besides being a time of building on some existing friendships and beginning some new ones . . . which was awesome! Every chance that there is to build community with brothers and sisters in Christ should be taken advantage of. But that's a side rant.) I think this is another one of the major lessons that God had for me while I was at that retreat. That even in the midst of the mess of my life as I try to sort things out and change those areas, with God's help of course, that aren't pleasing to Him, God still loves us with an unfailing, unchanging love that we will never fully understand this side of eternity.
What an amazing God we serve!
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Saturday, February 23, 2008
miracles, death, and grieving
OK, so I know that the title of this, my second blog of the evening, may seem a little bit strange . . . but it's where my brain is going tonight.
It's been just over three months since my uncle passed away. I thought that I had mostly dealt with all the stuff that comes when a loved one dies. I mean, I seemed to be doing OK. But then, last weekend at the retreat I was at, one of the speakers started talking about how God does miracles and God answers prayers and God heals people. Well, at that point all of the emotions that came when I found out my uncle had died came rushing back.
There were many people praying for healing for my uncle before he died. And, yet, he still did die . . . and sooner than any of us thought. I started asking God all the same questions as I did initially: Why now? Why didn't You heal him? Was it because we didn't have enough faith that You could heal him when we prayed? Why did you let something that seems so unfair happen God? Why do You only miraculously heal some people?
I thought I had dealt with all those questions already, but apparently not. Then again, I keep being reminded that grieving the loss of someone is a process and it takes time. Which is something that I have always known in theory, but this is the first time I've experienced that.
I still wonder about miracles. And why it seems like sometimes you can pray so hard for a miracle and nothing changes . . . the illness doesn't go away . . . people still die. Yet, other times, people can seem to hardly pray for it at all and the person is healed. It just doesn't seem to make a lot of sense. And it doesn't always seem fair as to which person is healed and which person isn't. Maybe it's because I don't really understand miracles and the way that God works.
I also don't like this whole idea of death. I mean, I know that my uncle has gone to be with Jesus in heaven and that's where I'll go when my time comes. But, it's not a whole lot of fun being the one left behind on earth. Someone you love and care for is gone . . . forever!!! I mean, I'm not sure that I would want to live forever either, but death is hard.
As I've discovered in this last week, grieving is a long process and you can feel perfectly normal for long stretches of time. And then it catches you off guard and you're trying to put ont he normal face until you can get away and deal with things some more.
Well, I have no idea if this post made any sense to anyone, or really what my purpose was in writing this on my blog of all places. But, I guess we'll see . . .
It's been just over three months since my uncle passed away. I thought that I had mostly dealt with all the stuff that comes when a loved one dies. I mean, I seemed to be doing OK. But then, last weekend at the retreat I was at, one of the speakers started talking about how God does miracles and God answers prayers and God heals people. Well, at that point all of the emotions that came when I found out my uncle had died came rushing back.
There were many people praying for healing for my uncle before he died. And, yet, he still did die . . . and sooner than any of us thought. I started asking God all the same questions as I did initially: Why now? Why didn't You heal him? Was it because we didn't have enough faith that You could heal him when we prayed? Why did you let something that seems so unfair happen God? Why do You only miraculously heal some people?
I thought I had dealt with all those questions already, but apparently not. Then again, I keep being reminded that grieving the loss of someone is a process and it takes time. Which is something that I have always known in theory, but this is the first time I've experienced that.
I still wonder about miracles. And why it seems like sometimes you can pray so hard for a miracle and nothing changes . . . the illness doesn't go away . . . people still die. Yet, other times, people can seem to hardly pray for it at all and the person is healed. It just doesn't seem to make a lot of sense. And it doesn't always seem fair as to which person is healed and which person isn't. Maybe it's because I don't really understand miracles and the way that God works.
I also don't like this whole idea of death. I mean, I know that my uncle has gone to be with Jesus in heaven and that's where I'll go when my time comes. But, it's not a whole lot of fun being the one left behind on earth. Someone you love and care for is gone . . . forever!!! I mean, I'm not sure that I would want to live forever either, but death is hard.
As I've discovered in this last week, grieving is a long process and you can feel perfectly normal for long stretches of time. And then it catches you off guard and you're trying to put ont he normal face until you can get away and deal with things some more.
Well, I have no idea if this post made any sense to anyone, or really what my purpose was in writing this on my blog of all places. But, I guess we'll see . . .
hearing God speak
So, last weekend I was away at a retreat at one of my favourite places to be . . . the camp that I went to for years as a camper and then worked at for a few summers. There's so many memories there for me. Some of the biggest decisions in my life were either made while I was there or heavily influenced by the time I spent there.
While I was there, I started to think about why the camp had such a huge impact on my life. I realized that it's because it's a place where I have seemed to hear more clearly from God than I do in other places. Partly, I think, because a week of summer camp or a weekend church retreat is so focused around God. But, there's more to it than that.
When I'm away and in a place where I'm surrounded by nature, I find it so much easier to hear what God has to say. I'm removed from the distractions of work or TV or computer, yes. But, I'm also removed from being surrounded by man-made structures and concrete. This made even more sense to me as I thought about the last few months, when I've been finding it more difficult to hear from God. I moved out of my parents' house (finally!) . . . but I also moved from nature being just outside the back door, to living in an apartment building. I no longer look out my window and see trees and nature right there. I'm not far away from nature . . . it is only about a 10-15 minute walk (or shorter drive) to a beautiful park with trails to walk . . . but when I'm sitting in my living room reading my Bible, it's not the same as when it's just outside my window.
And, the way God has created me, I need to be appreciating nature and away from the "city" to really hear from Him. When I see the beauty of what God has created and realize how much He must care to have put that kind of attention to detail into it all, I seem to be in a place where I'm more willing to be quiet and just listen to what He might have to say to me.
While I was there, I started to think about why the camp had such a huge impact on my life. I realized that it's because it's a place where I have seemed to hear more clearly from God than I do in other places. Partly, I think, because a week of summer camp or a weekend church retreat is so focused around God. But, there's more to it than that.
When I'm away and in a place where I'm surrounded by nature, I find it so much easier to hear what God has to say. I'm removed from the distractions of work or TV or computer, yes. But, I'm also removed from being surrounded by man-made structures and concrete. This made even more sense to me as I thought about the last few months, when I've been finding it more difficult to hear from God. I moved out of my parents' house (finally!) . . . but I also moved from nature being just outside the back door, to living in an apartment building. I no longer look out my window and see trees and nature right there. I'm not far away from nature . . . it is only about a 10-15 minute walk (or shorter drive) to a beautiful park with trails to walk . . . but when I'm sitting in my living room reading my Bible, it's not the same as when it's just outside my window.
And, the way God has created me, I need to be appreciating nature and away from the "city" to really hear from Him. When I see the beauty of what God has created and realize how much He must care to have put that kind of attention to detail into it all, I seem to be in a place where I'm more willing to be quiet and just listen to what He might have to say to me.
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