I've had a line to a song running throuhg my head for the last week. I can't remember the song or who it is by, but there's one line that I cannot get out of my heard: "I'm trying so hard to stop trying so hard". Looking at those words in print makes them sound even more confusing than when you just hear them. It doesn't seem quite right to put them together like that.
I think they have a good application to our lives though. How often do we try to change something in our lives by our strength to make our lives more pleasing to God? How often do we read Scripture and see in it nothing more than a list of things we should do or shouldn't do, so that our lives are pleasing to God? I think that's probably our default way of reading the Word and spending time with God.
But, I wonder if there's more. If there should be more to it. I think these words sum it up so well: "I'm trying so hard to stop trying so hard." We try so hard to get things right in our lives by what we do, when maybe we need to trop trying so hard. Maybe we just need to learn how to spend time with God without seeking to come away with something we need to do.
And learning to do will probably be a challenge on our part. We want lists and things to do, but sometimes we just need to spend time in God's presence just for the sake of being in His presence. I think this is where the whole phrase makes sense - we may have to try really hard at the beginning to stop trying so hard in our walk with God.
I'm trying so hard to stop trying so hard.