As Christmas approaches, I've been reflecting again on what it looks like when you're dealing with the loss of loved ones. It's the first Christmas that my Grandma won't be here, and while she wasn't able to be at the family gatherings for most of the last few years, she was still a part of things.
Over the last while, I've written a few poems that were part of my processing. When I wrote the last one in July, I thought that would be the end of it. But, as Christmas approaches, there was another one that I'm sharing now.
Here's the one from today
Christmas approaching
Yet something
feels off
Grandma, you’re
missing
It doesn’t feel
right
Decorations and
nativity set
The detailed
Christmas village
They remind me
of you
The joy and the
laughter
Sometimes I’m
okay
And sometimes I’m
not
Sometimes I’m laughing
The next time I’m
crying
Grief is so
messy
A hole in my
heart
The place that
you filled
A place for no other
Each time that I
miss you
I hear all you
shared
The wisdom you
offered
How you pointed
the way
I look at your
picture
And see how you
smile
It shows how you
loved us
How you embraced
life
Grandma, I miss
you
This world just
feels wrong
Without you down
here
I miss you, I
miss you
Christmas is
coming
The first time
without you
I want to
pretend that it’s all okay
But I know that
it’s not
I miss you so
deeply
I’ll always
remember
Your role in my life
The love that
you shared
You pointed to
Jesus
In all that you
lived
You prayed and
you loved
Just the way
that you lived
I see your
picture
I choose to let
go
Trusting our
Savior
Who loves us the
most
