Have You Exchanged the Truth?

 "They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, & they worshipped & served created things rather than the Creator - who is forever praised. Amen." (Romans 1:25)

When I read this verse the other day, my first thought was that it describes our society well. It's easy to apply there.

But, it doesn't stop there. It's not just for the world out there.

If we take a couple of minutes to think about it, we can see where we've done this in our churches & in our own lives.

We've exchanged the truth of God's Word for a lie. The lie often just subtle enough that we don't even realize right away. Or, in a desire to make the gospel most comfortable, we downplay what it actually says about something. Or we take something out of the context it was written in to make it say what we want that it doesn't actually say.

We've worshipped created things rather than the Creator. We have celebrity pastors & worship leaders - & then we're shocked when they fail. We let preferences divide & we see ours as the right ones.

But, let's make this even a little bit more personal for a few minutes.

We do this in our own lives. We believe lies rather than the truth. Sometimes we've intentionally chosen to. And sometimes we got a little off course at the start & now we're really far off course.

We've worshipped created things. We worship money, material possessions, power, a specific body type, health, etc.

So, we're left with some challenging questions:

Are there places in your life where you've exchanged the truth of God for a lie - either knowingly or unknowingly?

Are you willing to turn from those lies & turn back to God's truth - even if the truth is hard?

Are there places in your life where you're worshipping created things rather than the Creator?

How can you turn back to worshipping the Creator?

Guard Your Heart

 What comes to mind when you hear these words? 

What do you think of when it comes to guarding your heart?

Proverbs 4:23 says,

"Guard your heart, because everything you do flows from it."

What comes to mind when you think about what this means for your life?

There's all sorts off situations that come to mind for what this means that you could be thinking of.

For a long time when I read this verse, I thought pretty much only about romantic relationships, because that's where I heard this verse used the most. It was a caution against getting too involved with someone until I was married to them.

That's part of it, but there is so much more involved.

The idea of heart here is everything that makes you you. Your will. Your intellect. Your mind. Your emotions. Your passions. Your motives. Your desires. All of that makes up who you are.

This is what we're being told to guard here, because it impacts how we live our lives.

What we do & how we do it is impacted by our hearts. The way we interact with people & form relationships is part of this - whether friendships or other. Even our relationship with God is impacted by this.

Because of how important our heart is to how we live, we're told to guard it. We need to pay close attention to what we're allowing to have influence in our hearts. We can't go through life unaware. It matters.

So, how are you doing at guarding your heart?

Are there things in your life that need to change?

Worship as the First Response

I probably don't spend enough time reading the Old Testament. In doing so, it can be easy to miss some of the incredible things God wants to show me & teach me. After all, He has it included in our Bibles for a reason.

I was reminded of this recently when a devotional I was reading began with a single verse from 2 Chronicles. I couldn't stop thinking about it the rest of the day - it just felt like there was more there. 

I took time to sit down & read the whole chapter. I was struck by how much there was in it that spoke to me & where I'm at right now.

What is your response when you're overwhelmed or afraid?

Do you frantically try to figure out what to do?

Or do you ask God for His help right away?

2 Chronicles 20 opens with Jehoshaphat, the king of Judah, receiving overwhelming & fearful news. He is told that Judah's enemies were coming against them.

Verses 3-4 say this in response:

"Jehoshaphat was afraid, so he decided to ask the Lord what to do. He announced that everyone in Judah should fast during this special time of prayer to God. The people of Judah came together to ask the Lord for help; they came from every town in Judah." (NCV)

Jehoshaphat's immediate response to this overwhelming & fearful news was to pray - to seek God's direction for what to do. And he invited the entire nation of Judah to join him in it.

In the following verses, we see the people of Judah gather as Jehoshaphat led them in prayer. His pray declared who God is & what their situation was. And Jehoshaphat ended with a statement of truth.

"We don't know what to do, so we look to You for help." (vs 12b, NCV)

He asked God exactly what he & the people of Judah needed.

Then they listened for God's response.

"Don't be afraid or discouraged because of this army. The battle is not your battle, it is God's . . . You won't need to fight this battle. Just stand strong in your places, & you will see the Lord save you. Judah & Jerusalem, don't be afraid or discouraged, because the Lord is with you. So go out against those people tomorrow." (vs 15b, 17, NCV)

After they sought God, they had God's battle plan revealed. A plan that would have looked much different than anything they could have come up with on their own.

Their job was to stand firm as God's promise to fight for them, not try to fight themselves.

The next day, as they set out to do what God told them to do, they went forward with worship.

"Jehoshaphat listened to the people's advice. Then he chose men, to be signs to the Lord, to praise Him because He is holy & wonderful. As they march in front of the army, they said,

    'Thank the Lord,

    because His love continues forever'." (vs 21, NCV)

The army went forward worshipping God & saw God act powerfully on their behalf.

"As they began to sing & praise God, the Lord set ambushes to attack Ammon, Moab, & Edom who had come to attack Judah. And they were defeated." (vs 22, NCV)

Jehoshaphat & the army of Judah walked in trust of God - they stood firm in what they knew of God - & they saw victory happen God's way.

This was a powerful reminder for me in this season as I face my current battles, & deal with fear & overwhelm at what is coming toward me. My response should be turning to God to seek His plan for it all. And, as I stand firm in His plan & trust His ways, I can see the outcome God has planned. My job isn't to frantically worry & fear, & try to solve it myself. My job is prayer & worship & trusting God's plan.

What in your life is causing you fear & overwhelm?

Have you prayed about it?

Take time to admit to God you don't know what to do. 

Worship God in the midst of it - even if you don't see an answer yet. As we stand firm on God's truth & worship Him, we see God acting in ways we might otherwise have missed.

Lie #3: Sexual Desire Has an Easy Solution

 Lie #3: If you have sexual desire you should just get married, or be satisfied in Jesus alone.

In some ways this could be a continuation of lie #2. They're definitely related, but I think there's some important differences to acknowledge here.

I've had experiences with two answers to any discussion regarding sexual desire in a single person - both answers seem to be designed to shut down the discussion as having a simple solution.

In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul writes:

"Now to the unmarried & the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." (verses 8-9)

These words have been essentially thrown at me as a solution to a problem, without acknowledging the complexity of it.

Here's the challenge, marriage takes two people. Hopefully, two people who are seeking to live according to God's plan. That means it's not just as simple as telling someone to get married to solve the problem of their sexual desire. We don't have to look far to realize that "solution" doesn't work; if it did, we wouldn't see the problems we see in marriage.

Yes, Paul tells us that marriage is a place where sexual desire can be met. But, when we look at the larger context of what he is saying there's more going on here. He was valuing singleness & living out God's plan in that. While, at the same time, he was acknowledging there's a struggle with singleness & sexual desire.

The other words that have been thrown my way in this come from Isaiah 54:5,

"For your Maker is your husband - the Lord Almighty is His name - the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer."

The implication with this one, & sometimes the words that go along with it, are that if Jesus is my husband, than I shouldn't struggle with this. I should be able to have all of my desires completely satisfied in Jesus, & shouldn't need anything else.

Yes, we should all be seeking to be satisfied in God. But, there is still something different in having a person who you can actually see & be with.

Instead, we need to acknowledge this is a complex situation, without a simple solution. And sometimes, it's a very painful reality for those of us who are single. When we desire to live according to God's plan for our sexuality as a single person, that means that sexual desire is something we still have, but we don't have an obvious way to deal with it in accordance with God's plan. 

So, as with so much of what I've been writing, we need to actually practice honouring & sitting with the uncomfortableness of all of this, instead of looking for quick solutions to throw at someone.

Seeing Something You Haven't Before in Scripture

 It's easy to become familiar with a part of a verse or passage in Scripture - especially when it speaks to something in your life at a time when you read it. We reference either the exact words or the concept regularly. This is a good thing, but it can also mean with miss things sometimes.

My attention recently turned to a verse that I'm quite familiar with. As I read the whole verse, I was actually a bit surprised to discover that two truths I often quote were in the same verse. And linking together gave a fuller understanding of both.

I know I've read this verse many times all together in the past, But, this time I noticed something I hadn't before. I love how there's always more to learn, even when we go back to a familiar passage.

Hebrews 13:5 says:

"Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you'."

In conversations about money and possessions the first half of the verse if often mentioned. We use it to remind ourselves that loving money is a problem. That we need to learn to be content with what we have.

We take comfort in the second half as a reminder that God never leaves. That He is always with us - no matter what we're going through.

All of that is good and true and helpful for our lives. As I read this verse recently, it was the word in between these two parts that caught my eye:

BECAUSE

That word links these together.

Because God is never going to leave us or forsake us, we can be content with what we have.

Because God is never going to leave us or forsake us, we don't need to love money.

We can be content with what we have because God is never going to leave us or forsake us.

We don't need to love money because God is never going to leave us or forsake us.

Yes, I know I said the same thing twice there. When we've separated two things for so long, I think we sometimes need the repetition to get it to sink in.

When the writer of Hebrews put the word "because" here, they did it intentionally and we need to take notice.

A God Who Abundantly Provides

 Do you struggle to trust God to provide for your needs?

Do you worry you won't have what you think you need if you leave it all to God?

It's probably safe to say that we all struggle with this at least sometimes. We're human and we don't always trust God perfectly. It's hard.

I've been reading in John 6 recently and as I did, I was struck by the way provision from God was portrayed.

This chapter starts with the familiar story of Jesus feeding the 5,000 with five loaves and two fish. We talk lots about how the small amount of food miraculously fed everyone.

But, I was struck by the words of verse 13 this time:

"So they gathered up the pieces and filled twelve baskets with the pieces left from the five barley loaves."

Not only were all the people fed and satisfied, but there was an abundance of leftovers. Jesus didn't provide just enough barely for people to not be hungry. Everyone had their fill and there were still leftovers.

A little later in the same chapter, Jesus says these words:

"I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to Me will never be hungry and whoever believes in Me will never be thirsty." (verse 35)

In these words, Jesus is offering to satisfy all the needs of the people; they just have to trust Him.

It all sounds so simple, but it's so much more difficult to live.

Why do we struggle with this?

I think it comes down to what we're looking for. We often have a pre-decided picture of what we need. We're looking only for that, and, in doing so, we miss out on everything else God may be doing to provide.

The disciples in the feeding of the 5,000 almost did. They saw only the cost of feeding everyone (verse 7) and the meager offering available (verse 9). The situation seemed impossible for them to solve. Their solution was to send the people away to find food for themselves.

But, Jesus had a different plan in mind. Jesus revealed God as the One who provides for our needs in abundance. But, the disciples had to look beyond what they expected to see it. They had to be willing to see differently.

I wonder if we need to be willing to hold our idea of what God's provision looks like with open hands. If we need to be willing to see God's abundant provision outside what we think it should look like.

Where do you need God to provide?

Are you struggling to trust Him?

Have you pre-decided what God's provision has to look like?

Are you willing to let that go?

How can you practice being open to God's provision looking different than you thought it would?

Faithful & Disappointed

 Sometimes it's easy to rush past the first chapter of Luke to get to the "Christmas story," but I've discovered some amazing things in Luke 1:1-25 as I've spent time there first. The story of Zechariah & Elizabeth, & the miraculous birth that would also be their story.

Zechariah & Elizabeth were both descendants of priests. At the time of what is written in Luke 1, Zechariah's division of priests was on duty at the temple.

Luke 1:6-7 says this about them:

"Both of them were righteous in the sight of God, observing all the Lord's commands and decrees blamelessly. But they were childless because Elizabeth was not able to conceive, and they were both very old."

In a couple of verses, Luke gets right to the heart of who Zechariah & Elizabeth are. After a little biographical information, we hear about their faithfulness to God and their biggest struggle.

Zechariah & Elizabeth were faithful to God. They served and obeyed Him. And they did all of this while also being disappointed. It was very hard that Elizabeth had been unable to conceive in their culture.

Faithful and disappointed.

Those words don't seem to go together at first glance, but I think they're apt descriptors of how many of us live. We're doing our best to be faithful to God, yet there's something that we're still waiting and hoping for - something we're disappointed about.

We continue on faithfully following God, but there's something we keep wondering if it will ever happen. We struggle to hold onto hope about it, because circumstances say it's probably not possible now. So our faithfulness is tinged with disappointment.

A few verses later, we see God show up in Zechariah's disappointment. It's not so much about what he was told would happen - although it's amazing - as it is about what the angel said to him first that I want to pay attention to.

"But the angel said to him, 'Do not be afraid Zechariah; your prayer has been heard'." (Luke 1:13a)

It's so often the case that when we're disappointed, we begin to fear that God isn't hearing our prayers. The angel reminds Zechariah that God has heard his prayers. That he doesn't have to fear or wonder if God has heard him.

Where are you wrestling with disappointment in your life?

How can you continually be faithful to God, even in the midst of your disappointment?

Distrusting God?

"We distrust God when we are fearful of losing control. When we try to take control we ultimately leave no room for God to be God." (Lysa TerKeurst, Trustworthy)

Those were the first two sentence that started the Bible study I was working on that day. And they hit me like a sucker punch in the gut.

I'd spent most of the week leading up to that day living fearful of losing control in a part of my life. My ability to imagine the worst case scenario outcome of something had been racing ahead of reality for days. And I was exhausted because of it.

Living in fear of losing control is exhausting. 

Living in a constant state of imagining the worst possible outcome of a situation is exhausting.

And I knew that.

But, until I read those words, I hadn't connected them to my current situation.

The part of those words that hit the hardest was that my fear of losing control was actually distrusting God. I don't usually think of all of my efforts to control things as distrust of God. But, as I thought about it more, I realized how true it was.

I had an entire week of studying the lives of a couple less well-known kings of Israel and Judah to really see that. 1 Kings 12 & 13 tell us about the first two kings of the divided kingdom that followed Solomon. Rehoboam, Solomon's son, made some poor choices and the kingdom was divided. 

Jeroboam became king over the 10 tribes of the northern kingdom of Israel. And, he began to make decisions that revealed his distrust in God and his fear of losing control. These choices led Israel into idolatry and turning away from God.

It can be easy to read this and think we won't do that. We're not kings and we're likely not going to build golden calves for people to worship. That may be true, but when we stop to look at what drives some of our decisions, we may see more similarities than we do at first - at least I did when I read it.

1 Kings 12:26-27 says:

Jeroboam thought to himself, "The kingdom will now likely revert to the house of David. If these people go up to offer sacrifices at the temple of the Lord in Jerusalem, they will give their allegiance to the their lord, Rehoboam, king of Judah. They will kill me and return to king Rehoboam.

Jeroboam was afraid of losing control of the people and that led him to make choices that proved he didn't really trust God. Those choices led him and Israel astray.

But, Jeroboam had a promise from God (see 1 Kings 11:29-40), that he could trust. When things stopped going clearly as he though they would, Jeroboam reacted in fear of losing control and revealed his distrust in God.

How often do we do the same thing in our own lives?

This is exactly what I'd been doing in the week leading up to this realization. And, as I studied the outcome of it, I knew it wasn't where I wanted to stay. I had to make a choice to trust God with what I can't control. I had to let go of the fear of losing control. And I still have to choose that everyday in this area of my life right now. But, I know it's the best choice.

Is there an area of your life where your fear of losing control means you are not trusting God?

What would it look like to trust God in this area of your life today?

The Church is the Bride of Christ . . . Not Me as an Individual

 The verse I've had quoted to me the most when I express a desire to be married is one that is taken out of context to try to present a solution. 

The challenge is, I'm not looking for the person I'm talk to for a solution to that desire. I'm looking for someone to listen and acknowledge that unfulfilled desire I expressed.

But, more than I wish someone would just listen, I with the context for the Scripture quoted would be paid attention to. We do ourselves a dis-service in our understanding of Scripture when we take verses out of context. We miss the richness of Scripture and what God is actually saying.

The context of a verse is vitally important to understanding it properly. The verses around it, the book of the Bible, and the Bible as a whole play a big part in how we understand a particular verse. We need to look at it all before we quote a verse or part of a verse as an answer to someone.

So, now that that's out of the way, what verse am I talking about?

It's actually just six words out of a verse. Isaiah 54:5 begins this way: "For your Maker is your husband . . ." I can't count the number of times I've had these words said to me, typically prefaced by, "well, you know the Bible says . . ." when I express a desire for a husband. 

Not only do these words ignore or belittle the desire I just expressed, they misappropriate a few words of Scripture.

These words in Isaiah are spoken to the nation of Israel, not to individuals. Isaiah is talking about the hope to come for the nation. These are God's words to the nation He has chosen out of all the nations on earth at the time.

When I've pushed back on the use of these words from Isaiah, I've often received the comment that we are the bride of Christ so it applies today. Except, again Scripture talks about the church as the bride of Christ, not individuals. We get things confused when we try to make things that apply to the church as a whole, apply to the individual.

It doesn't mean there's nothing in Scripture that applies to the individual. But, I think we need to be careful that our individualistic culture doesn't cause us to to misapply what is written in Scipture by assuming it's all about the individual.

So, what do we do with this?

Ultimately, it comes down to listening and being present with people instead of looking for a verse or two to throw at them.

You may not understand the specific unfulfilled desire I'm expressing, but I know that if you're human you have desires and things you're waiting for. In those moments, you can draw on that experience to encourage someone.

But, most of all, don't take Scripture out of context to try to present a solution. That hurts more than you just being there with me.

Singleness: Season? Gift? Or . . . ?

Have you ever told someone or had someone tell you that singleness was a season?

How about a gift?

Likely you were trying to encourage someone, or they were trying to encourage you if you answered yet. It was meant with the best of intentions.

But, what if I told you that neither of those were helpful or encouraging?

In fact, they don't line up with what Scripture says.

Let's start with the idea of telling someone singleness is a season. This actually starts with a massive assumption on our part. It assumes that the person you're talking to will get married one day. For it to be a season, there has to be an end to it at some point.

Joy Beth Smith puts it better than I can in her book Party of One:

"The problem with viewing singleness as a season is that we relegate our time here as something to be endured, not celebrated. . . . Singleness is not a season with a guaranteed end in this life. And we can't spend our days trying to wait it out, constantly looking for what we hope is coming next."

We talk about seasons where we struggle as being hard seasons where we hope the end will come. And, even if we don't like how the season ends, we can count on it having an end. But, that's not always so with singleness. We go through the various seasons of life - both hard and joyful and everything in between - while we are still single. Single isn't a season that lines up with what we're talking about when we say this.

So, if singleness isn't a season, is it a spiritual gift?

Again, this makes an assumption that marriage is the norm and that remaining single requires some sort of special dispensation from God.

Too often I've seen singleness put on a list of spiritual gifts alongside others we would see in 1 Corinthians 12, Romans 12, Ephesians 4, and 1 Peter 4. But, this doesn't fit. All the gifts in these passages are for the edification and building up of the church, and for reaching out with the message of the gospel. I'm not sure how singleness fits on that list. If we're putting singleness on this list, then we should be putting marriage on the list as well, but that never seems to happen.

This also says nothing of the practical and very struggles for many singles with being single and people calling it a gift.

"Two problems arise if we continue to think about singleness as being a special kind of calling. First, it will make large numbers of single people feel as though life hasn't started yet. They're single but don't perceive themselves as having the gift of singleness. They're in a situation they're not designed for or called to. Life feels as though it is in limbo until God notices he's accidentally 'misfiled' us as being single and fixes things. That's when things will feel like they've finally got going, but until then they're just kicking around.'

Second, it causes undue pressure to get married, especially for those single people not perceived to have that gift. If you're single and don't have the 'gift of singleness,' then you're not pulling your weight. You should be married by now." (Sam Allberry, 7 Myths about Singleness)

By telling someone singleness is a gift, we put people who don't feel like they have the gift of singleness in an awkward place to be.

So, maybe we need to handle singleness like we do marriage. As one of many facts about a person, rather than trying to assign it some sort of special significance.

An Undivided Focus . . . and the Assumption we too Often Make

 How many times have you heard someone say that being single means you don't have to think about a spouse and the impact you have on them as you serve God?

If you're single, probably often.

If you're married, likely still often, just not directed at you. Possibly said by you.

And I'm not going to tell you this is wrong. Scripture says this. 1 Corinthians 7:32-34 says:

"I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs - how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of the world - how he please his wife - and his interests are divided. An unmarried women or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married women is concerned about the affairs of this world - how she can please her husband."

Reading this, it makes a lot of sense.

So, why am I writing about this/ What needs to be said?

I think we need to take a few minutes to talk about the expectations and assumptions that we often from this. I'm not convinced they're helpful or good. In fact, I would say that, at times, they're harmful.

I've had the experience of someone trying to shame me into filling a role I knew I wasn't a good for for, simply because I was single and therefore didn't have anyone at home to consider. And I know it's not just me or something that happens only occasionally; I've talked to many other singles with the same experience. Sometimes overt, and sometimes done very subtly.

I thinks this is a misuse of this passage. If you look at it in the context of all of 1 Corinthians and all of Scripture, you'll also see teaching about serving in the areas God has called you to and gifted you for. So, my saying no to something I know I'm not a good fit for isn't wrong just because I'm single.

There's also the issue of the time and energy I have available. Yes, there's the time that some by nature of being married that people spend on their spouse, that I have available. But, I am also the only one who does all the cleaning, all the laundry, all the grocery shopping, all of everything else for my house. With another person, there is some degree (realizing it's different in all marriages) of splitting of those tasks between two people. As a single person, you're also the only income earner, so when extra expenses come, your only option is to work an extra job or overtime, cutting into time available.

I know I happily do more volunteering at church than some people. I will continue to do so because I can. But, I find it hurtful when people assume I have more time to give or that I should forego my giftings to fill any need at any time just because I'm single.

So, my practical response to this is that we all need to keep watching our assumptions on other people. We likely don't know the whole story. 

Regardless of whether we are married or single, we are to live lives that honour God and to use our gifts to serve God. That is the main point that Paul keeps coming back to in 1 Corinthians 7.

The Most Well-Known Passage on Singleness

 What does the Bible say about singleness?

1 Corinthians 7 is probably the most well-known passage that talks about singleness. It's quoted and used well and it's quoted and used in sometimes hurtful ways.

Unfortunately, I've most often heard it referenced in unhelpful ways. And, if I'm honest, I've used it in unhelpful ways as well. Most of the time when people reference this passage for singles, it's for a couple of reasons. The first is to tell then that the Bible says they should get married if they "burn with passion" (1 Corinthians 7:9). As if it were that simple.

The second, I believe is meant to be encouraging, but it doesn't come across that way. It is often used to tell someone that singleness is a gift from God that gives them an undivided focus on God. Sounds good. True for the most part.

But, when someone isn't single by choice, telling them it's a gift from God and they should embrace it diminishes their struggle and desire for marriage, rather than acknowledging it. The part about having an undivided focus seems to come with an expectation that singles will volunteer wherever there's a need without paying attention to the things God has gifted them for and given them a passion to do. 

So, what does 1 Corinthians 7 actually say?

The first thing is that Paul values both those who are married and those who are single. Over and over in these verses, Paul holds up both marriage and singleness as ways to honour God and encourages living in that way. His primary concern is that those who are married and those who are single live lives that honour God and obey His commands, specifically regarding sexuality.

While Paul talks about wishing that were as he was in verse 7, he is not saying that singleness is the only option. He is acknowledging that there are some challenges that may be removed if one was single. But, this is not an encouragement at the expense of getting married.

Not to address the words of verse 9, which says,

"But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."

When these words are quoted to a single person who is struggling with any kind of sexual desire, they're usually hurtful.

Using these words in this way diminishes a legitimate struggle. Our sexuality and desire are given to us by God and we are to keep them within God's plan for them. But, that's not always easy - especially in our world today.

It should be quite clear from what we see in our world, even in our Christian circles, that marriage is not a cure for any struggle with sexuality and saying within God's original plan for it. So when we tell a single person they should just get married because of this desire or a struggle here, we make their struggle small and unimportant by implying that it has an easy solution.

I don't dismiss Paul's words that when this is an area of strong desire, marriage should be pursued. That's what he writes here and it's true. The problem comes with how we use these words when we're talking to people who are being honest about their struggle in the moment.

I've wrestled with how to finish this post. I never want my writing to just tell us what a standard is or point out where we've gotten off course. That does little to help any of us. But, I haven't been sure how to finish this one.

I guess there's a couple of things that we can go to get this practical. And I think they apply beyond just this post, but definitely here.

The first is to practice really listening and caring about the person in front of you who is sharing with you. When someone who is single is talking about their desire to be married or a struggle to keep their sexuality within God's plan, don't go looking for the first Scripture you can throw at them. Listen. And, yes, this may get uncomfortable at times, but it's necessary.

The second thing is to practice putting aside the assumptions you have as you read Scripture. Do your best to read it for what it is, not what you've always thought it was.

We Need a Good Theology of Singleness

What is your theology of singleness?

Did you even know you had one?

The truth is, we all have one. 

And it's been largely shaped by the teaching on it in the local church you're part of. Or, more likely, by the lack of teaching on it in your local church.

The lack of teaching on singleness causes us a big problem in the church. Single adults for a host of reasons, are a growing segment of society as a whole and of our churches. Yet, we lack of understanding of what the Bible says about singleness, and it says a lot more than we think.

As I've been on the journey of studying and writing about singleness in the church over the last five years or so, I've been saddened by the lack of resources available to help me on this journey. There's an abundance of books, articles, and studies on marriage and raising kinds, from many different perspectives. 

But, for a topic that is relevant to an ever-growing number of people sitting in church pews each week, there is woefully little that is written from an evangelical perspective; it's almost all written by the Catholic church. Most of what has been written, unfortunately, undervalues the single experience and sees it as little more than preparation time for marriage.

The western evangelical church is in desperate need of a better understanding of both the current theology of singleness we preach in our silence and what the Bible actually says.

Before you think I'm crazy or you think I'm talking about something above you, let me explain what a theology of singleness actually is.

Theology isn't something only for pastors and biblical scholars. It is simply "the study of religious faith, practice, and experiences." (Merriam-Webster Dictionary). Our theology is what we believe about God and what the Bible says.

We all have a theology of many things about our life as Christians. In some areas, this is well-developed and understood. In others, it is not. This is often a place filled with assumptions about Scripture and about experiences.

A good theology of singleness doesn't stand in opposition to a good theology of marriage. A good theology of singleness includes a good understanding of what the Bible says about marriage and values marriage. But, it does so without making marriage the ultimate goal for everyone and the only thing anyone should work towards in life.

In many ways, I understand why the church has had such a focus on marriage and family. We want to be sure that, in a society where marriage is undervalued and attacked, there is a message of hope and God's vision for marriage being declared. We want to support godly marriage and strengthen them. That's a great thing.

But, we need to learn how to do that without pushing singles to the edges of our churches - often only valuing them is they take all the "extra" time we're thought to have and use it to serve the church.

Over the next little while, I'm going to go back to where I started when I first started writing on singleness. I'm going to be exploring again what Scripture says and what we need to do.

Overflowing with Hope

 Can we overflow with hope?

Paul wasn't done talking about hope to the Romans in chapter 8. He references it at least twice more before the end of the book.

Romans 12:12 says:

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."

At first I found it a little strange that all of these were put together. But, I think they actually often go together in life.

Hope is often challenged by our circumstances. But it's something we can still have. As we keep praying and seeking God through all of the challenging things life brings our way, our hope can remain and we can find joy.

That brings me to one more reference to hope. Romans 15:13 says:

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit who is in you."

Hope isn't something we have to try to come up with on our own. That's a relief. Because I'd have very little hope most of the time if it all depended on me.

We serve a God of hope and He has given us the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit fills us with hope.

Our job is to choose to trust.

That's what makes hope feel hard so often. We don't trust easily. We don't want to trust anyone or anything but ourselves.

For hope to live in us and overflow from us, we have to choose to trust God daily - sometimes minute-by-minute.

Where are you placing your trust?

Do you choose to trust God daily, so that you can be filled to overflowing with hope?

Hope for the Future

 What is hope for?

As we continue to read Paul's writing about hope in Romans, we move into one of my favourite chapters in Scripture. I regularly go back to Romans 8 to be reminded of the incredible truths in this chapter. 

But there is a section of this chapter that I have spent less time on. They're the verses not highlighted or underlined - or, they were before I really took the time to understand the hope they talk about.

Romans 8:22-25 says:

"We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit,, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes  for what they already have? But if we hope  for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently."

Paul writes that the hope we're holding onto has a future focus - an eternal focus. That's what gets us through when life gets hard. We know there's something coming that's worth the struggle now.

The challenge is how easily we forget this. We get caught up in our earthly circumstances and that's all we see. And we lost our hope.

We have to remember to lift our eyes off our circumstances. To set them on what is coming. To set them on eternity with Jesus.

When I think about this challenge, I remember another conversation I had with my Grandma. This one didn't come on the golf course. It came in a few short minutes before church on a Sunday morning.

I don't remember when we had this conversation - I'd actually forgotten about it until I was studying what Scripture had to say about hope. I know this conversation was a few years before she ended up in long term care, but well after Parkinson's disease had made her require a wheelchair for much of life. She was waiting for the service to start and for my Grandpa to be finished greeting people and come to sit with her.

She told me quite honestly how frustrating it was to her to be stuck wherever her wheelchair got parked and have to wait for people to come over to her. How frustrating the limited mobility, even at home, was. But, then she began to talk about her hope for eternity. That she knew a time was coming when she would no longer be limited.

I missed the significance of those words at the time, but they hit me as I was studying this passage. My Grandma was groaning as she struggled on this earth and waited for what she knew was coming. She was hoping for what was to come in the midst of a challenging disease that was slowly stealing her independence. And, although she would tell you she wasn't always good at waiting patiently, there was a grace to how she waited and held onto the hope of eternity.

It challenges me about where I'm looking. 2021 was a hard one for me and I struggled to hold onto hope. I see now, just how important it is to lift our eyes if we're going to hold onto hope.

Where are you looking for hope?

Where are you placing your hope?

Does the place you're looking for it need to change?

Hope & Faith

 As I've kept studying hope, I kept being drawn back to one particular book of Scripture. The book of Romans has a lot to say about hope.

It doesn't take Paul long to start pointing toward our need for hope. Although the word hope doesn't appear until chapter 4, everything up to then points to our need for hope. 

As Paul outlines the fallenness of people, the sinful choices they have made, he is making a case for something. Even as Paul moves to talk about God's faithfulness to us, he's laying the groundwork for hope and its importance in our lives.

Abraham is widely remembered in Scripture and in our conversations for his faith, but alongside that comes hope. Romans 4:18 says:

"Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as had been said to him, 'So shall your offspring be'."

From and earthly perspective, Abraham having children and being the father of many nations wasn't possible. These words came when "his body was as good as dead" and "Sarah's womb was also dead." (Romans 4:19). Yes, Abraham still had hope that God could do it.

After reading this about Abraham, we see Paul move into talking about hope specifically. Romans 5:1-5 says:

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith in this grace in which we know stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."

This makes sense with hope being "a characteristic of genuine faith in God" (Bridgeway Bible Dictionary), as I wrote about last week. And Abraham's story as recalled in Romans 4 is an example of this.

Hope is not in the things of this world. It is in God. It it in His promises. In His glory.

The hard part of all of this is that hope often grows most in the hard times of life - it's also when it is most challenged. That's when we're looking for something more, something beyond what this world offers. Because know so much of this world disappoints us. We put our hope in something on earth and it fails us.

But, Romans 5 tells us that when our hope is in God's glory, it doesn't put us to shame. Other translations say hope does not disappoint. Hope in God is something that won't fail us.

As William Barclay writes:

"When a man's hope is in God it cannot turn to dust and ashes. When a man's hope is in God it cannot be disappointed. When a man's hope is in the love of God it cannot be an illusion, for God is loving us with an everlasting love, which is backed by an everlasting power." (William Barclay, Letter to the Romans, pg 73)

It all comes down to where we place our hope. When our hope is in God, it is secure.

What is Hope?

 Hope . . .

What does it mean?

How do you hold onto it when it seems to be taken away regularly?

Is there a place we can actually place our hope that won't fail or disappoint us?

These are questions I asked in a post a few weeks ago.

I didn't have answers then, but they were questions that were pulling me to dig into Scripture to look for answers. I've spent the last few weeks looking at all the places in Scripture I could find the word hope - looking for answers to my questions.

I actually started with looking up the dictionary definition of hope.

The definition, according to Merriam-Webster dictionary, was actually much broader than I expected. I realized that when we use it in our everyday lives, the problem doesn't come from the way we define it; it comes from somewhere deeper.

I've tried to figure out to summarize the definition I found and I couldn't. So I am going to share the definition here. (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hope)

intransitive verb

1 :to cherish a desire with anticipation :to want something to happen or be true

transitive verb

1 :to desire with expectation of obtainment or fulfillment

2 :to expect with confidence

noun

1 :desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment

     also :expectation of fulfillment or success

2 :someone or something on which hopes are centered

3 :something desired or hoped for

All of that seemed like what I hear and what I've talked and thought about when it comes to hope. So, there has to be something about it that we're still missing.

Why does the Bible talk about hope as being something we can be sure of?

If there's one thing we've learned as a whole in the last couple years, it's how quickly hope for something can disappear and we're left disappointed - trying to pick up the pieces again. Yes, as I read what the Bible has to say about hope, it seemed to point to something more stable, more sure.

As I was studying this, I found a definition of hope in my Bible dictionary that I found helpful. It says:

"Hope is a characteristic of genuine faith in God. Such hope is different from the hope people in general might speak of. It is not a mere wish for something, but a strong confidence that is placed in God." (Bridgeway Bible Dictionary, page 180)

That makes sense with my thoughts about it comes down to where we place our hope. 

The things that have disappointed and been suddenly yanked away in the last couple years are the things of this earth.

But God hasn't changed.

His Word hasn't changed.

His promises haven't changed.

So, a hope placed in God can't be taken away by something that happens in this world.

This is what gave the early Christians the boldness and the confidence to stand in the face of the opposition they faced. The book of Acts and Paul's letters are full of these declarations.

Near the end of his life and ministry, Paul says there words:

"And now it is because of my hope in what God has promised our ancestors that I am on trial today." (Acts 6:26)

We only have to skim a few of Paul's letters to the early church to know the price that he paid while holding onto this hope. There was something compelling about hope in what God has promised that kept Paul going, even in the face of difficult circumstances on earth.

So, I guess it all comes back to where we're placing our hope.

If it's in the things of this world, then we're going to find our hope easily shattered.

But, if it's in the things of God, then I can hold onto it no matter what this world brings our way.

It doesn't somehow make everything easy to place our hope in God and His promises. Life is still hard. But, it makes it possible not to lose all hope.

Hope?

 18 posts in 12 months.

2021 was a pretty quiet year on here.

It wasn't intentional. I started the year with plans for more, but then the events that would make up the year began to unfold and I didn't know what to write. I typically write about what I'm learning or studying here, but, for me, 2021 was really just about surviving more than anything else. Much of the time when I sat down to write, I had nothing to say.

Now, we're four days into the new year and I'm looking ahead to what 2022 might bring. I'm hopeful and I'm hesitant at the same time.

Hopeful about what could come and what God could do.

Hesitant because, after almost two years of disappointment and cancelled things, I'm finding it hard to fully engage in too much planning and looking ahead.

I'm wrestling with hope.

What does it mean?

How do you hold onto it when it seems to be taken away regularly?

Is there a place I can actually put my hope that will never disappoint me or fail me?

Romans 15:13 is a verse one of my friends prays regularly over others in conversation, that talks about hope. She did exactly that on Sunday after church in our conversation. 

It says:

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

The God of hope.

This is the God we serve. A God of hope.

When I read this verse this morning and really took some time to think about it, it became clear that hope is possible because we serve a God of hope.

Not only do we serve a God of hope, we can be overflowing with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit in us. It doesn't seem that this is something that is dependent on circumstances. So, hope is possible regardless of what's going on in our lives. It is possible because we have the Holy Spirit.

Hope is something I know Scripture talks about a lot. And I think we need to look at what all of Scripture says to really understand it. That's something I'm going to be doing for the next while as we begin 2022. As I learn more about it, I'll share it here.

For now, I'm holding onto those words Paul wrote in Romans 15:13:

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

Fix Your Eyes

 Sometimes life is hard and things we're going through feel like heavy burden to carry. It feels like we're just barely making it through with the weight of all that's going on.

We're looking for hope. For a way through. For a way out.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 says:

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen s temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

When I read these words a few days ago, I struggled with some of how it was written. I had to sit with it for a while to realize what Paul meant when he wrote these words.

The last couple months have been hard and heavy. Personal losses of an aunt and an uncle. Significant losses and hard times in my work family. It has just all seemed to pile up at one time. It has been a challenging and heavy time to walk through.

So reading words that called our troubles "light and momentary" didn't feel encouraging at first. My first thought was actually, you have no idea what's going on. When we're walking through hard times and loss, those things don't feel light or momentary. It feels like a weight on us that will never be lifted.

But, Paul, who wrote these words, knew what suffering and hard times were. He knew hardship. He knew the heaviness of loss. But, he still called our earthly troubles light and momentary.

How could he do this?

How can we do this in our troubles?

It's all about where we fix our eyes. That's what Paul tells us next in the passage from 2 Corinthians.

When our eyes are down, when they're focused on our circumstances, all we see is our troubles. That's when everything hard becomes overwhelming and never-ending.

The solution: to lift our eyes. To fix them on what is unseen and eternal. To fix our eyes on Jesus, as the writer of Hebrews tells us (Hebrews 12:2). This doesn't remove our troubles. It doesn't remove our loss. It doesn't take away the hard things.

But, it changes our focus.

When our eyes are fixed on Jesus, we see things differently. We see Him and then we see our circumstances through Him.

When our eyes are fixed on Jesus, we know we're not walking through whatever we're facing alone. We have a Companion who cares about us. Who wants to helps us and sometimes carry us through whatever we're facing.

That's the lesson I've learned that I'm trying to apply in my own circumstances right now. It's easy to look at the losses and struggles and be overwhelmed. That's where I was when I first read these verses. 

But, when I choose to fix my eyes on Jesus, something changes. Nothing about the circumstances has changed. The losses still exist. The hard times haven't disappeared. But, it's not as overwhelming because I'm paying attention to Jesus with me in the midst of them.

Once I saw all this, the words of 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 have become words of encouragement and hope.

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

What troubles are you walking through that seem anything but light and momentary?

Where are your eyes fixed? On your troubles? Or on Jesus?

How can you fix your eyes on Jesus?

The Hard, the Messy, & the Broken

 As this is Christmas week, it seems fitting to take a few moments to stop and reflect on the Christmas story (I'll be back to my series I'm in the middle of in the new year.)

I opened my Bible to Matthew's record it only a few minutes ago for the first time this season. Much later in December than I usually begin to dive into this familiar story each year.

But, this year, I've struggled with Christmas. If I'm honest, I haven't felt much like celebrating anything at all this year. Even as I sit to write this, there's very little in my house that would indicate it's Christmas.

The only thing I have even put out in the nativity set. The simplest, but maybe the most fitting, for this Christmas.

A few days ago, I came home to find a gift bag at my door. An anonymous friend dropped it off while I was at work. One of the things inside was some beautiful cards with Scripture about the Christmas story and the lyrics to some Christmas carols that tell the story.

Until that delivery, not the nativity set had made it out. I just simply had no interest. But, as I read those cards, I was reminded of what this time of year is really all about for us as Christians . . . the birth of Jesus.

And not into a neat and tidy world. The world Jesus was born into was hard, messy, and broken.

Much like our world today. If I had to give three words to describe our world, those are exactly the words I would use.

Hard.

Messy.

Broken.

That brings me back to Matthew 1. I don't often read the genealogies in Scripture carefully. I skim through the long list of names I can't pronounce, working to quickly get to the other parts. Today, I slowly, carefully read each line, each name.

As I read, I realized something. It wasn't new, but I needed to be reminded of it again today.

Yes, the genealogy show how the prophecies of Jesus' birth were fulfilled. The tribe of Judah. The root of Jesse. Of the line of David. All good stuff. But, not the important stuff for today.

The genealogy of Jesus that Matthew records is full of messy, broken people who have hard stories.

There's women. Not just inferred, but mentioned when that wasn't normal for that time.

There's prostitutes.

There's outsiders to the Jewish people.

There's adulterers and murderers.

There's people who didn't follow God with their lives.

There's people who were led astray.

All mixed in with those who were faithful followers of God. Sometimes the faithful follower of God is also the one who messed up.

Jesus' earthly genealogy doesn't hide the hard, the messy, the broken. It includes it for all to see and be reminded of.

Why?

Because God has redeemed it and used it for His purposes. It's God's specialty.

God takes our hard, messy, and broken and He redeems it. He uses it for His purposes and His glory.

I don't know where this Christmas finds you. 2020 has been a year like no other we've experienced. And we're all approaching this Christmas differently. 

But, can I remind you today that whatever hard, messy, and broken your life holds right now, God's not done. 

If you'll let Him, He can take it and turn it into something beautiful. It may not be exactly the beautiful we expect or happen the way we want it to, but, if we allow it, God will turn our hard, messy, and broken into beautiful - just like He did with Jesus' earthly genealogy.

I know that's hope I'm choosing to cling to right now. Even when I don't feel like celebrating the way I usually do this time of year, I can choose to celebrate because I have a God who specializes in turning hard, messy, and broken into beautiful for His purpose and His glory.