We Need a Good Theology of Singleness

What is your theology of singleness?

Did you even know you had one?

The truth is, we all have one. 

And it's been largely shaped by the teaching on it in the local church you're part of. Or, more likely, by the lack of teaching on it in your local church.

The lack of teaching on singleness causes us a big problem in the church. Single adults for a host of reasons, are a growing segment of society as a whole and of our churches. Yet, we lack of understanding of what the Bible says about singleness, and it says a lot more than we think.

As I've been on the journey of studying and writing about singleness in the church over the last five years or so, I've been saddened by the lack of resources available to help me on this journey. There's an abundance of books, articles, and studies on marriage and raising kinds, from many different perspectives. 

But, for a topic that is relevant to an ever-growing number of people sitting in church pews each week, there is woefully little that is written from an evangelical perspective; it's almost all written by the Catholic church. Most of what has been written, unfortunately, undervalues the single experience and sees it as little more than preparation time for marriage.

The western evangelical church is in desperate need of a better understanding of both the current theology of singleness we preach in our silence and what the Bible actually says.

Before you think I'm crazy or you think I'm talking about something above you, let me explain what a theology of singleness actually is.

Theology isn't something only for pastors and biblical scholars. It is simply "the study of religious faith, practice, and experiences." (Merriam-Webster Dictionary). Our theology is what we believe about God and what the Bible says.

We all have a theology of many things about our life as Christians. In some areas, this is well-developed and understood. In others, it is not. This is often a place filled with assumptions about Scripture and about experiences.

A good theology of singleness doesn't stand in opposition to a good theology of marriage. A good theology of singleness includes a good understanding of what the Bible says about marriage and values marriage. But, it does so without making marriage the ultimate goal for everyone and the only thing anyone should work towards in life.

In many ways, I understand why the church has had such a focus on marriage and family. We want to be sure that, in a society where marriage is undervalued and attacked, there is a message of hope and God's vision for marriage being declared. We want to support godly marriage and strengthen them. That's a great thing.

But, we need to learn how to do that without pushing singles to the edges of our churches - often only valuing them is they take all the "extra" time we're thought to have and use it to serve the church.

Over the next little while, I'm going to go back to where I started when I first started writing on singleness. I'm going to be exploring again what Scripture says and what we need to do.