Thursday, July 30, 2015

Getting Close to Others

". . . I'd have to trust that my flaws were the ways through which I would receive grace. We don't think of our flaws as the glue that binds us to the people we love, but they are. Grace only sticks to our imperfections. Those who can't accept their imperfections can't accept grace either."
(Donald Miller, "Scary Close")

Have you ever wondered why you find it easier to connect with someone you know has messed up in their past and come through the other side?

When we hear someone's story with the good and the bad, when someone lets us see their real struggles, we feel a connection to them. When we share the same with others, they feel that way too.

Why? I think Donald Miller explains it well in the quote above. People who share their flaws with others are often the people who have experienced grace for them and they offer us grace for our flaws.

We're drawn to them because we feel safe to be ourselves around them. We know they'll love us and stick by us even when they see our flaws. We don't have to act for them. We can put down the masks and let them see what's behind it.

"Unless we're honest with each other, we can't connect."
(Donald Miller, "Scary Close")

This is why we find it easier to form relationships with people who don't spend all their time trying to hide their flaws. They're being honest with us about who they are and that draws us in.

We were made for connections with other people. That connection requires honesty and grace. Grace flows when we have received it ourselves. And we'll only know grace if we're willing to be honest with each other about our flaws.

Our flaws and our honesty about them are the vehicles by which we experience grace and connection with others. Without a willingness to be vulnerable we will never experience true intimacy in our friendships or any other relationships.

No comments:

Post a Comment