It seems as Valentine's Day approaches each year, I end up writing something about singleness and/or what things are like around this time of year when relationships seem to be emphasized. I suppose in a way, this post is along those lines and in a way it's a bit different.
As this Valentine's Day approaches, I've been wrestling with a different question than usual. Usually it makes me wonder about relationships, why I'm still single when it's not my plan for now. But, this year, I'm thinking about different things.
In the last year or so, I've watched a few marriages of people in my life fall apart for various reasons. Whatever the reason for the marriage break-up, I've seen the pain and heartache left in the wake of that. And, it's changed the questions I have, the things I'm thinking about around Valentine's Day this year.
The hard question I've been wrestling with has become: why do I want to be married so much when I see the pain and heartache that comes when things don't go as planned? Why do I see marriage as something I still want in my life, when I'm watching so many marriages around me fall apart?
They're not easy questions to face. They're tough ones to wrestle with. And they can easily become depressing questions to reflect on.
The reality of it is that in these situations, we stare directly in the face of the brokenness of our world, and how far from God's plan we've wandered. That's not easy. It's not fun looking at brokenness that directly. We tend to run from it in so many situations.
So, how do I come to terms with the questions I've been asking lately? What do those questions mean for my life?
In the moments, I get caught up in thinking like that, I also have to remind myself of the many marriages around me that aren't falling apart and coming to an end. That changes my perspective on those questions. It doesn't change the reality of the brokenness in our world, but it reminds us that there is hope, that there is good in the midst of all the bad around us.
When I look at things that way, it doesn't make my dream of marriage one day seem like a dream I should try to avoid. It reminds me that dream is not hopeless, or one I should decide to leave behind. It reminds me that we live in a broken world, where things don't always happen according to God's plan.
And, in the meantime, I trust God with my future. I do what He has called me to do during this time in my life, with everything I have. That's what I can do right now.