What Does the Bible Say?

 This is the questions I always like to start with when I'm working on a blog series. I think it's the best place to start. After all, the Bible is our authority on how to live as Christians.

So, what does the Bible say about physical touch?

I'd never read any of my Bible looking for references to physical touch before. It was a different study with this topic in mind.

The first place I looked was probably one the more obvious places. Jesus' life and ministry.

It didn't take long to see that Jesus regularly touched people when He ministered to them. Often when He healed people, but also the children who were brought to Him (Mark 10:13-16, Luke 13:10-17)

It was Jesus' healing of people by touching them that most caught my attention. Jesus could have healed them with a word - something He did on many occasions. Yet, there are occasions when the gospel writers were very clear that Jesus touched those He healed.

As I looked at those times Jesus touched someone to heal them, they were people who wouldn't ben used to being touch. Some because the law actually said they couldn't be touched without making someone unclean, as the person in need of healing was considered unclean. Others because they're reality made it unlikely they would be touched by others, at least not in healthy ways.

So, what did physical touch look like for Jesus?

Jesus touched a man with leprosy to heal him (Matthew 8:1-4, Mark 1:40-45, Luke 5:12-14)

Leprosy made the man unclean. Being unclean excluded him from daily life interactions that were normal. It excluded him from going to the temple. And people would have gone out of their way not to touch him so they didn't also become unclean.

Even in the man's words to Jesus, there is a sense of his desire to be included and be able to be touched by others again. Matthew 8:2 records his question: "Lord, if you're willing you can make me clean." Yes, being clean implies being healed of leprosy, but I think the desire to be clean goes beyond just the healing. Jesus was willing and He reached out to touch this man. In doing so, healing his leprosy and restoring that healthy physical touch for the man.

We also see Jesus touch those who were deaf or blind to heal them (Matthew 9:27-31, 20:29-34, Mark 7:31-37, 8:22-26, John 9:1-12)

In that day, those who were deaf or blind would have had no choice but to beg from others for daily necessities. While times change, not everything does and I don't imagine beggars in Jesus' day were treated much different than today. Largely ignored or seen as a nuisance. And definitely not touched by those who passed them by. Yet, Jesus chose to touch them in His healing of them.

When I look at Jesus' example, I see somehow who was not afraid of physical touch. And not with just a few people. Jesus accepted it all from anyone who gave it and He gave it to many - often to those on the outside.

There is more to discuss about what the Bible says about physical touch to come.

What we All Need

 When I wrote my series on singleness in the church a year and half ago, there was a topic I completely avoided. It came up a few times in my research and writing, but I always had a good reason to skip over it. There was always something else to write about.

The truth is that I just didn't want to go there or open up that topic. But the last nine months have brought it back to the surface and I can't avoid it anymore.

I touched on it a little bit in my post last week, but there's so much more to it than what I wrote there. In the next few posts, I'm going to be talking about physical touch and our need for it. And take a look at what Scripture says about it.

Because this is a topic with potential for so much confusion, I'm going to start with being clear about what I'm not talking about:

1) I'm not talking about one of the five love languages that are popular to talk about. You don't get to tune out or stop reading because it's not your love language.

2) I'm not talking about sexual touch or love. That is a different topic, and one I currently have no plans to write about.

So, what am I talking about? What do I mean when I say physical touch?

I'm talking about those moments of connection with someone that comfort, soothe, make us feel loved and safe. A hug from a friend. A hand of comfort on our shoulder. A friend just being physically close to us while we watch a movie or enjoy being outside.

And, as I think about this topic, I've been hesitant to go here in the past, because of the huge possibilities of misunderstanding. Especially as I move into talking about what it looks like for a single person. 

As Lore Ferguson Wilbert writes in her excellent book Handle With Care: How Jesus Redeems the Power of Touch in Life and Ministry:

"Our society simply doesn't know what to do with the human body or human touch. Our culture is confused, and confusion only results in more confusion."

It's easy to look at culture and see the confusion. But it's not limited to secular culture.

I would argue that the church is just as confused - in some cases, even more confused - than our culture. We've just replaced the lack of rules or boundaries you could say is our culture's problem, with a long list of things we can and cannot do. A list that actually can't be found in Scripture. A list that often causes harm in exactly the ways we're trying to protect ourselves.

So, I will start with the next post looking at Jesus' use of physical touch in Scripture. And move from there into discussion about life and life as a single person in this area.

I Just Need a Hug

 Who knew the day would come when I would be hesitant to utter (or write) those words?

Who knew the day would come that someone could say those words and not have an abundance of people offer an immediate hug?

But, that is the reality of the times we're living in right now. This isn't the time of greeting people with a hug.

(Before I go any further, let me be clear on one thing: This is not a space to debate the response to the current pandemic. There will be no tolerance for arguing about whether the right decisions have been made. I am talking about a need many have and how we can respond in a challenging time.)

Anyone who knows me will tell you I'm not a big hugger. I enjoy giving and receiving hugs, but I'm not someone who just hugs everyone I see. But, even I have reached the point where I would hug almost anyone willing to hug.

I understand why it's not happening right now. The reasoning makes sense to me. I get it. I'll respect the rules, guidelines, public health orders of this time.

I didn't realize how important something that seems as simple as a hug was to our health until that was limited and removed in most cases. I live alone, so there's not an option of people to hug in my house every day. This time has made me all the more grateful for the couple of people in my life who I do still get to hug - although sometimes that's still not enough.

And, if I'm struggling with this right now, then I can't even imagine what it's like for those who are huggers - for those whose default greeting of someone is a hug.

Science and human experience tells us how important that physical contact with others is for your health - physically, spiritually, emotionally. 

And, so I've been wrestling with this question:

How do we deal with our need for physical contact - for things like hugs - in a time when we need to limit our physical contact? What can we do?

Because if I'm honest, I'd just go for being able to sit closer to someone than two meters apart from someone.

I know from experience, the good a hug can do. I've been in situations where it calms my anxiety in a moment. I feel my shoulders relax. Even though, it doesn't remove the worries or hurts, it eases the pain and stress of it.

There is lots out there that supports to science of the good hugs do for us. A simple search will bring a lengthy list of scientific articles and news stories about them.

So, what does all this mean? How can we meet this need right now?

I don't know that I have a clear answer on it. I don't know that I have the answer.

But, what I will say . . . hug the people who are in your circle right now. Make the space for that, because I think we all need it right now.

And care about those who you can't hug. Take the time you can to still listen and be there. It might be the same as a hug, but even those conversations with others who care, who I know in other circumstances would freely offer a hug, still help.

Hug those in your circle as much as you all need to.

Listen to and care in other ways for those you can't hug right now.