Why Do I Keep Writing About Singleness in the Church?

 Why do I write about singleness in the church?

Why do I write so much about something that many think applies to so few people in the church?

These questions or variations of them have been running through my mind a lot in the last month - prompted by things I get asked often.

The asking of these questions reveal some common misunderstandings and myths that are believed by many. As I've reflected on these questions, I've realized that maybe it was time to address these questions.

To start, let's look at the myth that the topic of singleness in the church applies to very few people. I don't think anyone would argue that marriage rates are declining. Not all of this decline is attributable to cohabitation though. There are also more people who are single and living alone.

According to a study on living alone in Canada published by Statistics Canada in 2019 (based on 2016 numbers), the number of people living along in Canada has more than doubled in the last 35 years, and in the 2016 census represented 14% of all households in Canada.

While I cannot find the sources for specific numbers right now, I have read many articles and books over the last few years that say the population of singles is growing in our society. And that means it is growing in our churches as well. There are predictions that singles will make up half of society, and our churches, very quickly. If singles, as a group, are growing like this, than this isn't a topic that applies only to a few.

And, as I have written about before, the evangelical church does not appear to have a well-developed theology of singleness. When I first began on this quest, an overwhelming majority of anything written on singleness in the church was published by the Catholic Church. Most evangelical-based books were all about how singleness is just a waiting period before marriage. While things have shifted a little bit in terms of what is out there over the last couple years, we still have a long ways to go if up to half our church people are single and many are likely to remain single for their entire lives.

So, I write about singleness in the church because it needs to be talked about more. Yes, we need the marriage courses church's run. We need the sermons on marriage. We need the support for marriage in a society that doesn't value it.

But, we also need support and resources for singles that aren't focused on the assumption they'll all get married one day. This may be the hope and dream for many of us, but it's not always reality nor is it guaranteed.

When we talk about family, it needs to include a healthy and well-developed understanding and theology of singleness. When we pray for different groups within the church, we need to be intentional about including those who are single past college-age and are not yet seniors. Not in a way of calling us out and emphasizing the difference, but in a way of including us and making us feel valued and seen as part of the church. Not in a way of making of feel valuable only for our service and a focus on not having a family distraction, but in a way of valuing the way we juggle work, home, church, friends, extended family on our own instead of with someone to help with many of those responsibilities.

So, all of this is why I talk so much about singleness in the church. If the changes in statistics of those are single continue as they have, it's not going to be long before 50% or more of our church member are single and not in college or seniors. We need to be ready to minister to this group of people too.