You've probably heard it referenced a lot. People talking about the losses of this pandemic. And there have been many for many of us.
Maybe we're tired of hearing about it.
Maybe we're not sure what we're experienced qualifies.
Maybe we just don't know what to think.
Maybe we would rather just ignore it all.
Tomorrow is my birthday.
Not one of those years we usually make a bigger deal of. But still my birthday.
For the last few weeks, my sister has been asking me what I want to do for my birthday. I've likely frustrated her with my lack of answers.
No patio I wanted to have supper on.
No takeout I wanted to pick up.
No food I wanted to make for supper together.
No activity I wanted to do.
Just nothing.
I've never been on to plan things for my birthday. I've done nothing for more of them than I can count. It's just never really been a big deal to me.
But this year, something was bothering me as my birthday drew near. And it made me want to just pretend it wasn't happening at all.
It took me a few weeks to figure out what was going on. What was bothering me was that I couldn't have a few friends over to my house, that I couldn't go out for a dinner or dessert with a group of friends.
And it had nothing to do with whether I actually would this time.
It was about not having the choice - for the second year in a row.
But, it was about more than that too. It was a realization of how long it's been since I could just be with my friends sharing food and games and laughter.
It reminded me of something I read a couple months ago. The article (that I can't find now) was talking about grief over the losses of the last year. Yes, the losses to death, the losses of jobs and security. But, not just those losses. The losses of the seemingly smaller things that are still important to us.
When I first read the article, I wasn't sure I agreed, so I just left it and didn't think much about it. Until the last couple days. Until I realized I was dealing with a loss. A different kind of loss than the ones we usually associated with grief, but a loss nonetheless.
We can probably all name some of those losses in the last year. And it can be easy to minimize them because they don't seem as big as someone else's loss. But that doesn't help us. We can't compare our losses to other's losses.
Whatever the loss we're dealing with, we need to acknowledge it for what it is. Allow ourselves to deal with the emotions that come from the loss. Take if to Jesus and let Him meet us in it.
Then we can begin to walk again.
So, tonight, I acknowledge the loss I'm feeling of that opportunity to be with my friends on my birthday or just a regular Saturday night games' night. It's been a long time. And those nights were important in many ways.
And tomorrow, I'll celebrate my birthday with the people I can be with. Thankful for what I do still have, even in the midst of the loss I feel.
It may not be what I wish it could be. And it still hurts. But something does change when it's acknowledged. Spoken out loud. Shared with somebody.
So tonight I leave you with some questions. Questions I've been wrestling with the last few days.
What loss are you feeling? No matter how small you think it is, it's still a loss. And it's not about comparing it to others.
Have you acknowledged it and taken it to Jesus?
