The Power of Showing Up & Being Present

 This past Sunday at church, we took some time to remember those in our church family who we had lost over the last few years of COVID. Something as simple as a picture, a name, a birthdate, and the date someone took their last breath on earth, had an impact on me in that moment. As I watched the pictures of my great uncle and then my Grandma appear on the screen, along with so many others I've known as part of my church family for years, I was reminded of another lesson my Grandma taught me over the years. 

As I've thought about it since, I've come to realize it might be the mort important thing, after following God, that my Grandma taught me. It's something that has come up over and over again in memories of her. And from so many different people.

That lesson: the power of showing up and being present.

When I think about it, growing up, one of the things I could always count on was that if something was happening - good or bad - my Grandma would be one who showed up. She was just there all the time. Whether it was sitting in the audience at more band concerts, school awards ceremonies, & school sports games than she probably ever thought she'd sit through. Or being the one to pick us up when we weren't feeling well at school and Mom was busy. Or the hours spent with us at her house through all seasons. Or when something went wrong or was hard and you just needed a hug (. . . & a cookie).

There was something you could count on . . . Grandma was there. She showed - usually with Grandpa at her side.

But, more than her showing up, she was present in those moments. Even when you knew she had other things she could be doing, she was present in her conversations with you. She was present in the moment and whatever was happening.

And, in doing so, she made sure you knew she thought you were important and valuable. That you were worth her time and energy.

One particular night stands out for me when I think about how she did this. It was a Friday night not too long after I moved home after finishing my degree. I was not looking forward to another evening alone. My Grandma happened to phone my Mom that afternoon & I answered. As usual, she talked to me first, & when I said I had no plans, her first thought was to invite me to come over for supper that night. A little thing in so many ways. But, it reminded me that she cared.

It challenges me in my own interactions with people. 

How do I do at showing up for the people I love? How do I do at being present with the people I'm with?

These days, it's easy to be distracted, even when we're in the same room as people. We carry around distracting devices that keep us from being present - even if we leave the phone away, when the phone calls, texts, & emails come through to you watch, the distraction is still there. I know I'm good at being distracted.

But, it's not how I want to be. I want to be someone who shows up & is present with the people in front of me.

How about you? How are you doing at showing up? How are you doing at being present?

We Need People

 I stood at the top of the driveway, golf clubs beside me, anxiously watching for you to turn your car onto my street. As I saw your car, I picked up my golf bag and walked over to put my clubs in the trunk. Looking forward to every minute of time with you the next few hours would bring.

Yes, I was looking forward to playing golf. The game you loved and patiently helped me learn to play.

But, it was so much more than that alone that made me look forward to this time. So much more that made a seventeen year old just a few days away from starting grade 12 look forward to a few hours with my grandparents.

For the last five years, I'd chosen to spend the hours with you. There was nothing unusual about the activities of this day for you and me. We'd probably done the same thing at least a hundred times before.

But, on this day, I was especially looking forward to this time. I was feeling the pressure of going into grade 12 and the decisions I'd have to start making right away. Decisions about college or university - would I stay local or go away, what I would study. I was already feeling overwhelmed by it all.

I knew that in the hours to come, I would have a safe place to spill that all out. That you would listen first - until I was done talking. And then you'd ask your questions and give me space to think and answer. Only after all that, would you join the chorus of voices telling me what I should or shouldn't do. Only after being sure you understood as much as you could, would you chime in with your perspective and advice.

As you dropped me off at home a few hours later, I felt a little less overwhelmed. I had a bit more clarity on things. It wasn't all figured out, but I felt heard. And I knew I had you support, love, prayers.

This came back to my mind the last few days, as I found myself feeling the same feelings. The overwhelm and not knowing what to do. I missed the way it was so easy growing up to share this with my grandparents.

And it made me realize the value I have in the friendships where I can talk about how I'm really doing. I know I have a handful of friends I could call in those moments and they would listen, care, love, support, pray.

This time I didn't call any of them, although looking back I wish I had. But, I was reminded of how we need these relationships in our lives.

And I was challenged in the independence our society tells us is a good thing. That very thing that kept me from making the call to a friend this time. We're told we shouldn't need anyone - that we should be able to figure out ourselves.

We're told we shouldn't need anyone, and, even though I know better, I bought the lie this time.

But, Scripture makes it pretty clear that we need each other. We weren't made to go through life alone. Over and over, we see encouragements to keep meeting together, to care for each other, to show up for each other.

Who are your people that you can call on when you can't do it on your own?

When was the last time you called one of them? Why?

Why do you hesitate to call them?

How can you challenge the tendency to try to go it alone and get better at reaching out to those around you when you need help?