Things We Need to Stop Saying (Part 2)

 "Why are you still single?"

This is another thing we need to stop saying.

It's not helpful.

The question is usually preceded or follow by something about how great of a person someone is. 

But the question often hurts and takes away from anything else that was said alongside it.

Why does it hurt?

It points out that the person is still single, even with all these good things about them. It feels like being single is seen as a problem that should be solved. It implies that there is something wrong with being single, especially if you have all these good qualities that are given.

Instead of encouraging someone with good things you see in them, the message that can actually come across is that there's something wrong with you because you have all these good qualities and yet you're still single. It makes the person on the receiving end feel incomplete or less than.

The last reason why we need to stop asking this question is that it's an impossible question to answer for all, but a very select few. There may be a few people who know they have a specific message from God that they are to be single for a time or for their lives, but those people are not common. Most of us have no way to answer the question, so asking it, and then expecting an answer, does no good.

I realize not all who ask are looking for an actual answer to the question. But, even when it's just left hanging with no answer, there's an element of struggle to find an answer felt. And it leaves an uncertainness for those who are asked.