Faithful & Disappointed

 Sometimes it's easy to rush past the first chapter of Luke to get to the "Christmas story," but I've discovered some amazing things in Luke 1:1-25 as I've spent time there first. The story of Zechariah & Elizabeth, & the miraculous birth that would also be their story.

Zechariah & Elizabeth were both descendants of priests. At the time of what is written in Luke 1, Zechariah's division of priests was on duty at the temple.

Luke 1:6-7 says this about them:

"Both of them were righteous in the sight of God, observing all the Lord's commands and decrees blamelessly. But they were childless because Elizabeth was not able to conceive, and they were both very old."

In a couple of verses, Luke gets right to the heart of who Zechariah & Elizabeth are. After a little biographical information, we hear about their faithfulness to God and their biggest struggle.

Zechariah & Elizabeth were faithful to God. They served and obeyed Him. And they did all of this while also being disappointed. It was very hard that Elizabeth had been unable to conceive in their culture.

Faithful and disappointed.

Those words don't seem to go together at first glance, but I think they're apt descriptors of how many of us live. We're doing our best to be faithful to God, yet there's something that we're still waiting and hoping for - something we're disappointed about.

We continue on faithfully following God, but there's something we keep wondering if it will ever happen. We struggle to hold onto hope about it, because circumstances say it's probably not possible now. So our faithfulness is tinged with disappointment.

A few verses later, we see God show up in Zechariah's disappointment. It's not so much about what he was told would happen - although it's amazing - as it is about what the angel said to him first that I want to pay attention to.

"But the angel said to him, 'Do not be afraid Zechariah; your prayer has been heard'." (Luke 1:13a)

It's so often the case that when we're disappointed, we begin to fear that God isn't hearing our prayers. The angel reminds Zechariah that God has heard his prayers. That he doesn't have to fear or wonder if God has heard him.

Where are you wrestling with disappointment in your life?

How can you continually be faithful to God, even in the midst of your disappointment?

"A Holly, Jolly Christmas"

 I was listening to one of my Christmas albums as I drove home from errands a couple of days ago. The lyrics to one of the songs made me stop and think a bit. 

"Have a holly, jolly Christmas, 

It's the best time of the year

Now I don't know if there'll be snow

But have a cup of cheer.

. . .

Have a holly, jolly Christmas

And in case you didn't hear

Oh, by golly

Have a holly, jolly Christmas this year."

It's a fun song. There's nothing wrong with it, in terms of what it says.

But, as I listened, I realized this was the first time in a few years that I hadn't skipped over the song as soon as it started. A "holly, jolly Christmas" was not something I felt was possible the last few years. I was still grieving the loss of my Grandma, and Christmas was full of things that reminded me of her. Christmas was hard, and while there were really good moments, it was definitely not a "holly, jolly Christmas."

As I kept listening to the song, I started to reflect on how many of our Christmas songs are all about having a great time, about laughter, about joy. There's nothing wrong with any of that. Those are good things and the songs are good.

And we argue about whether we should wish someone a "merry Christmas" or "happy holidays" or something along those lines. But, the sentiment of what we argue about saying is all the same thing to people. They're about joy and happiness and good times.

Except that's not the reality of a lot of people. Life isn't full of joy and happiness. It's hard. It's painful. It's messy. There's family conflict, and serious illness, and loss that are part of it. And, the Christmas season doesn't remove those things or suddenly make them easier. Often, it actually makes them more difficult.

And, as I reflect on the original Christmas story, I wonder if our focus on the joy and happiness to the exclusion of everything else, is a bit misplaced. Things were not easy for God's people at the time that Jesus came. They were living under the control of the Roman empire. They lived in poverty and oppression. This is what Jesus was born into.

Yes, Mary and Joseph trusted God and moved forward with the parts He had given them in His plan. Yes, the shepherds came and worshipped and shared the news as they left. Yes, the wise men came from the faraway land with gifts to worship Jesus the King.

But, Jesus coming didn't erase the other facts of their lives. Jesus coming didn't mean that they weren't still living under the rule of the Roman empire. 

Jesus entered into the pain of the people. He met them in it. We see that all through His ministry in the gospels. 

And, maybe we can being to do that. We can worship in the midst of the pain and the struggle. We can see all that Jesus coming brought, without having to pretend to be happy, or that our hard circumstances don't exist.

Alongside the songs about having "a holly, jolly Christmas" we can have the lament. The cries of pain. The cries of "Come Thou Long Expected Jesus." Neither one option or the other is adequate on it's own. We need them both alongside each other. 

And we need to allow both the joy and lament at this time of year. It's not a merry Christmas for everyone, and that's okay. We can and should allow for all that comes with this time of year.

Navigating the Holiday Season Alone - Part 2

In my last post, I wrote about being alone in the midst of this season and something God showed me through His Word. It wasn't where I was planning to go, but it was a good starting place. This post is a little bit more practical in how to navigate this season.

I'm going to start with what is arguably the most difficult part of navigating this, but I would say also the most important. It has nothing to do with the actions of others. It's all about our heart and how we choose to respond.

My first practical suggestion on how to navigate this season: assume the best of others and don't take offense. This isn't easy and it's not usually our first reaction. But it's vital.

When you don't get the invite or you get a generic invite for you and your partner, it's easy to start thinking about how insensitive people are or to assume they did it intentionally. But, that just puts us in a prison of our own making.

Start by talking to God about it when this happens. As Him to help you not be offended, to not hold onto hurt or offense.

That leads to my second suggestion: if the person is a trusted friend, take the courageous step of talking to them about it. Don't go into the conversation blaming them for it. But, be brave enough to tell them that you struggled and were by being the only one excluded. Don't tell them what they were thinking or did; tell them what your experience of it was. This can be a great opportunity for you both to understand each other better.

In the midst of it all, remember where your identity is found. It's not found in your relationship status or the number of invites you get to holiday parties. It comes from being a child of God and He loves you exactly as you are.

Navigating the Holiday Season Alone

 It's the time of year where it can feel like singleness is seen as more of an issue than otherwise. There's always times and places where not having a partner feel a bit awkward, but for some reason at this time of year, it's even more so than usual.

But the season of invitations sent to "you and your partner" has begun. These invitations even come from those who know you're single.

It's the season of walking alone into holiday parties that are completely set up for couples.

Or of net even being invited to things with people you usually spend lots of time with simply because you're single.

And that means it can be a season of more alone-ness. Of more feeling on the outside. A season of the pain of exclusion or differentness, all while being told to merry and joyful.

It can be hard. There have been times when I've wanted nothing more than to turn the pages on the calendar quickly so we can get past this all and things go back to normal.

As I've wrestled through how to navigate this time of year, I was looking for practical tips and tools. I wanted a clear way to manager this without the hurt. But, that's not what I found.

Instead, I found myself drawn to the familiar Christmas story. To Mary and Joseph's experience. An unwed couple. Mary pregnant and saying it was from God. In their culture, this was absolutely scandalous. It left them on the outside - excluded.

All they could do was trust God and hold onto His promise to them.

As I reflected on this. I felt like God was reminding me that he sees and cares for the one who feels outside. Even though things didn't look like Mary and Joseph would have expected and it was hard, they weren't alone. God saw them and cared for them.

He does the same for us.

While being single during the holiday season is different than Mary and Joseph's story, the reminder that God sees us through it is valuable and important.

Whatever our situation, however we feel in it, God sees us and is with us.