Everything is going good, until it isn't. Often with very little warning, or indication of the reason why. Very suddenly, life is not what it was before. Getting out of bed, getting out of the house, getting anything done becomes an overwhelming thought. But, life goes on, and somehow I must figure out a way to keep going with it.
These words describe the reality of what living with an anxiety disorder looks like. At least for me, and some others I have talked to. But, I also know it's different for others, as anxiety disorders are a pretty broad category and everyone's experience of it is different.
But, it is a reality I've been living the last week or so. It's happened before and I'm sure it will happen again. Each time with a few more tools to use to get through the time than I had the last time. Sometimes these times last only a day; sometimes they could linger for weeks.
For a long time, I didn't tell people what was going on, because I wasn't sure I could handle however they responded. But, I've learned over the last few years that the right people will respond with love and support. And, I've realized how much I need those people in the times when I'm not okay.
This is probably the first time I've attempted to write a blog post in the midst of it. It can be challenging to make sure my words make sense in the middle of the chaos in my head right now. Some might even wonder why I would try and why I would share this now. I haven't done it in the past for exactly those reasons. But this time, I'm feeling compelled to do so.
I think this place I'm in right now is a place we don't talk about much because it's unresolved. I don't have a lesson I've learned from it to share yet. I don't know how it's going to end. I can't relay how God has used it for His glory yet.
But, I wonder if those are sometimes exactly what we need to talk more about. When we only talk about the end result, I wonder if we actually miss what God is doing. I wonder if we miss the beauty that is still there when things are unresolved and all we can do is cling to God and trust that He has plan to use it, even when we couldn't possibly see how yet.
So, let this be my encouragement to you today if you're in the middle of an unresolved and messy time: Look for the beauty of God in it now. Don't wait until you get to the other side to look for it.
I'm not saying it's easy to do. It's not something that will come naturally. But, I'm being reminded again now, that it changes everything when we look for God in it before we see the end. It's worth the effort, and it makes it possible to get through the messy times when we're not okay.
Tuesday, October 30, 2018
Tuesday, October 9, 2018
Where is Your Trust & Confidence?
Where is your trust?
What have you placed your confidence in?
These are important questions to ask. They have a significant impact on how we live.
Jeremiah 17:7-8 says:
When I read these verses, I'm left asking the questions I opened this post with.
Where is my trust?
Where have I placed my confidence?
Have I placed my confidence and trust in the Lord? Or have I placed it elsewhere?
When we place our trust and confidence completely in God, we're reaching out to the Source of Life that will sustain us whatever comes our way. We are then sustained, even through the hard times. We will continue to flourish because we've tapped into a Life Source that cannot be taken from us.
Where is your trust?
Where have you placed your confidence?
What have you placed your confidence in?
These are important questions to ask. They have a significant impact on how we live.
Jeremiah 17:7-8 says:
"But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
whose confidence is in Him.
They will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It had no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit."
When I read these verses, I'm left asking the questions I opened this post with.
Where is my trust?
Where have I placed my confidence?
Have I placed my confidence and trust in the Lord? Or have I placed it elsewhere?
When we place our trust and confidence completely in God, we're reaching out to the Source of Life that will sustain us whatever comes our way. We are then sustained, even through the hard times. We will continue to flourish because we've tapped into a Life Source that cannot be taken from us.
Where is your trust?
Where have you placed your confidence?
Wednesday, October 3, 2018
Living Social Justice
So, if we're supposed to be involved in social justice, as I wrote last week, what does it look like for us?
How do we actually make it a part of what we do?
How do we do it well?
In many ways, I think this is a bigger problem than we realize. Unfortunately, we haven't always done this well in the church. And in our struggle to figure out how to do it, we've actually done harm - mostly unintentionally.
I think our struggle to figure it out and do it is actually the reason why it might seem easier to try to avoid social justice and try to separate it from what we preach.
But, I also think the fact that it's so difficult at times is exactly why we need to be intentional about being hands on with it. We can't try to separate it from the gospel or leave it for professionals. We need to be involved ourselves.
I also wonder if part of our struggle with how to do as that we often think it has to start with changing to laws of our society. And that seems impossible or overwhelming, so we don't try. Or, we don't like how people have tried to do just that in the past and don't want to be associated with that, so we do our best to avoid those associations.
But, what if that wasn't where we were supposed to start?
What if we have it backwards from how we're supposed to be doing it?
What if it was supposed to start with us in the trenches doing the work, being involved with people?
I'm not saying we should be quiet and not say anything. I'm not saying that there aren't issues where we need to make our voices heard. But, I do think our voices will be better heard and considered if our actions reflect what we're saying. When we're living what we talk about, our voices are ones that people can't ignore as easily.
So, it has to start with our daily lives, with our interactions with people. We start with loving people - all people. We love even those who are living lifestyles that we disagree with. We earn the right to speak about those things, by loving people first.
Where can we make a difference for people as we go about our daily lives?
I believe that if we claim to be Christians, then we need to be involved in these issues, just as Jesus was. And Jesus' example in the gospels is one of loving people and caring for them even when His society saw them as other. We start with the people in our paths and put that love in action as we interact with them.
As I've wrestled with this, I've realized just how important it is that we all begin with the little things. For me, it can become too easy to think I'm off the hook because of where I work. But, nothing could be further from the truth. I may work where this is part of our every day life, but if I'm not living it in all of my life, I'm missing out on what intends for me, and my voice is silenced.
Who are the people on periphery of your everyday life that society, or your upbringing, or your thinking has taught you to see as other?
How can you change you interactions with that person now?
How do we actually make it a part of what we do?
How do we do it well?
In many ways, I think this is a bigger problem than we realize. Unfortunately, we haven't always done this well in the church. And in our struggle to figure out how to do it, we've actually done harm - mostly unintentionally.
I think our struggle to figure it out and do it is actually the reason why it might seem easier to try to avoid social justice and try to separate it from what we preach.
But, I also think the fact that it's so difficult at times is exactly why we need to be intentional about being hands on with it. We can't try to separate it from the gospel or leave it for professionals. We need to be involved ourselves.
I also wonder if part of our struggle with how to do as that we often think it has to start with changing to laws of our society. And that seems impossible or overwhelming, so we don't try. Or, we don't like how people have tried to do just that in the past and don't want to be associated with that, so we do our best to avoid those associations.
But, what if that wasn't where we were supposed to start?
What if we have it backwards from how we're supposed to be doing it?
What if it was supposed to start with us in the trenches doing the work, being involved with people?
I'm not saying we should be quiet and not say anything. I'm not saying that there aren't issues where we need to make our voices heard. But, I do think our voices will be better heard and considered if our actions reflect what we're saying. When we're living what we talk about, our voices are ones that people can't ignore as easily.
So, it has to start with our daily lives, with our interactions with people. We start with loving people - all people. We love even those who are living lifestyles that we disagree with. We earn the right to speak about those things, by loving people first.
Where can we make a difference for people as we go about our daily lives?
I believe that if we claim to be Christians, then we need to be involved in these issues, just as Jesus was. And Jesus' example in the gospels is one of loving people and caring for them even when His society saw them as other. We start with the people in our paths and put that love in action as we interact with them.
As I've wrestled with this, I've realized just how important it is that we all begin with the little things. For me, it can become too easy to think I'm off the hook because of where I work. But, nothing could be further from the truth. I may work where this is part of our every day life, but if I'm not living it in all of my life, I'm missing out on what intends for me, and my voice is silenced.
Who are the people on periphery of your everyday life that society, or your upbringing, or your thinking has taught you to see as other?
How can you change you interactions with that person now?
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