Let's Stop Pretending we Have it All Together All the Time

We all need permission to not have it all together all the time. But, we don't usually feel like we have it.

This post was prompted by a song by a dear friend of mine on this same idea. As I listened to the song on the way home from work today, I was struck by what it said. God was using it to remind me and encourage me about some things I've been struggling with lately.

The truth is that we all need to feel like we have permission to be broken. We need to know it's okay to not be okay, to need each other, to let our brokenness be seen by others.

But, we don't usually operate this way. We try to cover it up, to pretend everything is good.

I've spent a lot of time in the last few days thinking about why we do this.

Why do we try so hard to hide our brokenness?

Why do we work so hard to look like everything is good?

It seems to me that we've gotten our thinking messed up here. We've believed the lie that we have to have it all together. That we have to be okay. That we have to be able to do it all, balance it all. And look good while doing it.

But then I look at Scripture and I see something very different presented. Galatians 6:2 tells us we should carry one another's burdens. We carry one another's burdens if we're busy trying to make it look like we've got it all together. To be able to carry each other's burdens we have to share what they are. And that means letting others know we're broken.

I was reminded of this last weekend. As I sat in my house at church online, I found that I was unable to sing the words to one of the songs. That song was declaring God's goodness. While I still absolutely believe God is goo, I was struggling with that in the moment.

And I realized I hadn't been letting anyone see or hear that struggle for a couple weeks. I had been working hard to present an image of having it all together in every situation, even though I was often barely holding on and getting through. All because I thought that's what I needed to do.

In that moment, I clicked on the option to ask for prayer and told the person who responded about my struggle. I gave myself permission to be broken and to let another person see it. And the response was full of grace and love.

That simple click and choosing to share changed so much.

It didn't instantly change everything to be good.

It didn't remove my struggle.

But, it let light in.

It reminded me I wasn't alone and didn't have to try to do it alone.

In it all, I was reminded of the importance of being honest and allowing our brokenness to be seen. I was reminded of the importance of carrying one another's burdens as Scripture tells us to. Of not just being the one to carry other's burdens, but also allowing others to carry mine.

So, let's stop pretending we have it all together all the time.

Let's give each other space and permission to be broken.

Let's learn to carry one another's burdens - both us carrying them for others and letting others carry ours.

Unexpected Blessings

Yesterday was my birthday. And it looked nothing like I had planned it to look, by no choice of my own.

If I'm honest, I was dreading yesterday. Time away, a visit from a friend, a chance to celebrate . . . all of these were taken away from me due to the current situation in our world. And I wasn't feeling much like celebrating.

I wanted to hide from the world. But, at the same time, I'm also tired of hiding away. All I wanted was for things to be normal and to be able to celebrate with my friends.

It would have been easy to stay stuck in the things I was missing that I wanted. In the things I couldn't do that I had been planning. And that would have made for a long and depressing day.

When I arrived at work yesterday morning and said hi to a coworker, I realized that I still had a choice. Instead of staying stuck in what wasn't, I could choose to look for the good. That coworker turned and very cheerfully wished me a happy birthday. Although it couldn't come with the hug it would have in other years, she reminded me that there was still reason to celebrate.

I wasn't expecting blessings in my birthday in the midst of all the current reality. But, as the day went on, I realized that's exactly what God had in mind.

A favourite coffee delivered. Coworkers finding a way to surprise and celebrate together when we have to keep space between us. Lunch brought to me. Supper made. A favourite cake. Cards from those I love. Facebook messages and texts from friends.

Unexpected blessings in a day I could have easily missed it all. A reminder of where I need to focus. I went into the day seeing only what I had lost, what had been taken away from me.

But, I was reminded to look up. To see what God wanted to show me in the middle of challenge. To see the unexpected blessings God provides.

Can I challenge you to look up? Look for the unexpected blessings God wants to bring your way. Open your eyes to see what God has in store in your day.

I don't always do this well. I forgot this same thing today, and I'm sure I missed things because of it. But, as I write this, I'm challenged again to pay attention and see what God is up to in my day.

When You Realize You've Almost Missed It

We're halfway through Holy Week.

I was reminded of that on a video chat this morning. Even though I knew it and the dates marked on my calendar told me that is was Holy Week, something hadn't really connected about it for me this time.

Usually this is a week where I take time to intentionally reflect on all the happened in this week. To try to enter in to what Scripture says about this week. To thank Jesus for He did on my behalf.

And, yet, I realized today I hadn't even really considered it at all so far. Palm Sunday had come and gone, and Good Friday was approaching, and then Resurrection Sunday. Such important days on the Christian calendar to remember and celebrate.

But, this year doesn't feel much like other years. There's no plans for big crowds to gather on Sunday to celebrate. Big family gatherings aren't happening. Even the events our larger society associates with Easter, like community Easter egg hunts, have been cancelled.

As I drove home from work today (yes, I work for an organization that cannot just close, even at a time like this), a song came on my music player that I hadn't heard for a long time. As I listened to and then put on repeat and began to sing the song, I realized that even though Holy Week and Easter look so much different that the traditions I've become used to at this time of year, it doesn't change the significance of what we remember and celebrate.

That song and those minutes in my car became a worship time . . . and a reset for me. No matter what the circumstances are right now, this is when we intentionally remember and celebrate what our Savoir has done for us.

For me, Holy Week feels a bit short this year now. But, I'm still going to be intentional about the days left. No beating myself up for what I feel like I missed. Just taking the time I have left in this week to remember the sacrifice of my Savior and His victory over the grave.

As I close, I want to leave you with the song that spoke to me today. Blessed Redeemer by Casting Crowns. I love the chorus of this song:
Blessed Redeemer, precious Redeemer
Seems now I see Him on Calvary's tree
Wounded and bleeding, for sinners pleading
Blind and unheeding, dying for me

Community When we Can't Be in Each Other's Space

I've talked a lot about community and our need for it, about the loneliness of our society, about how things are different when you're single in the last year.

And, all of that is even more important in our current circumstances.

We need each other now - more than ever.

But, how we show up for one another looks very different right now. The method of our community has changed, but it hasn't removed our need for it.

If I'm honest, I've struggled with exactly what I'm writing about in these last few weeks. In many ways I've never felt my need for community more acutely, and struggled with how to find it.

These are strange times, hard times, difficult times . . . and I've heard or seen on social media from enough of us to know we're all struggling in some ways with this. Whether we're at home with family or living on our own, whether we're working or our work has stopped for a time, nothing feels like we're used to it feeling. And we need each other as we walk through this.

So, how do we show up for each other right now? How do we create community when we can't sit around the same tables as one another?

Churches have created some space for it, with services online and Bible studies and small groups through video conferencing. Providing opportunities to learn and worship and pray together.

But we need even more than that. We need to stay in touch with friends and talk about what's really going on.

And that means we have to change the way we do what we always do. If you're like me, you pick up your phone to text a friend more often than to actually phone them. And when you can see each other, that works. But, I'm learning right now to pick up my phone and use it to actually phone a friend. I need to hear the voices of other people right now.

It looks like having people you can reach out to in the moments you're struggling to just let someone know and not feel so alone. And being that person for people too. Sometimes we might only be able to send a text in those times, and that's OK too. The important thing is that we don't keep quiet and hide when we're struggling. We need to have people we can tell, and people who can tell us the same thing for themselves.

I also had a friend teach me yesterday through her actions what it looks like to show up for each other when we can't go for coffee. Knowing I was struggling, she decided to do what she could. I heard a knock at my door, but when I opened it, no one was there, just a bag with a card. Letting me know she cared and was praying. A small act that did more than I could ever describe in words for how I was feeling.

It also looks like standing in the back parking lot at work, 2 meters apart from one another, with coworkers, checking in how we're doing with this all and with all the changes it has brought in our workplace. Stopping in the midst of all we still need to do and listening to one another for a few minutes. Acknowledging the way it feels and letting each other know we're not alone even when things look a lot different than we're used to.

So, can I encourage you in this time: look for ways to reach out and connect with people - family, friends, neighbours. We need each other more than ever. And we have to get creative in how we show up for each other, but we have to keep showing up for each others.