Growing Through Challenge or Yearning for "Normal"

 "I'm just waiting for things to go back to normal."

"Can we ever go back to normal."

"I wish things were normal again."

You've probably though, or even said, those words or something like them in the last five months. You're probably heard them from other many times.

We're living in a world that's been turned upside-down by something we can't even see. Our normal has been taken away. Everything feels strange.

And we're struggling with that.

I know I am. All I want to do is go to a gathering with friends and give them all long hugs. And, for someone who doesn't usually often struggles in large group gatherings and doesn't just hug everyone, that says a lot. If I'm feeling this way, I know lots of others are too.

We just want normal back.

We talk about a new normal. About what it might look like. What it might mean. How we can manage.

But it's not what we really want.

When you get beneath it all, we're longing for normal. For how things used to be.

Before I go on, let me be clear on one thing: I'm not here to debate whether we have a new normal. I'm not going to debate the choices made or not made. While our current reality has prompted some of the thoughts in this post, I'm not writing about opinions on it. You can agree or disagree, but this is not the place to debate that. I will delete all comments along those lines without notice or comment from me.

Whatever happens, there is one thing we know, this has changed and will continue to change us all. Just as any difficult time will do. When we walk through something hard, we will come out of it different than we were when we entered in.

I've been reading Beth Moore's newest book Chasing Vines and working on the study that goes with it. A couple days ago, I read a chapter that challenged me on how hard times change us. In the book, Beth writes:

"When we're going through a difficult season, wouldn't the best news of all be that life would simply go back to normal someday? When the framework of our daily existence gets completely dismantled and the landscape around us grows increasingly unreliable, our strongest longing is seldom prosperity. What we yearn for is normalcy. We don't tend to ask for the moon when we've lost all we've known. We just want some semblance of our old lives back.

The hard truth is, there's no real going back. But once we get up again, there can be a going forward. In His faithfulness, God sees to it what we thought was the end isn't the end at all. And eventually, perhaps not terribly long after, we realize we transitioned into a new normal."

We can't go back to what was normal before because what we've walked through has changed us. We're not the same person, so even the same things will be different because we've changed.

The danger for us comes when we become so focused on getting back to "normal" we miss God's new in our lives. When we do this, we stop producing any fruit for God's kingdom in our lives.

A little later in the same chapter, Beth writes:

"But in time, finding fruitfulness again will make more difference than you can imagine. If we can't have our treasured yesterday back, at least tomorrow can matter. The wonder of fruit bearing is that something meaningful can come from the meanest of seasons. What we endured matters."

If we allow God to work through our hard times, He will produce something beautiful in our lives. That is always His plan. But, we can't hold onto and keep looking for what once was.

So, how do we do this? How do we move through hard seasons and allow God to bring something beautiful out of them?

In the Bible study that goes along with the book, Beth writes:

"It is human nature to focus on what has changed in our lives and to long for what we once had. But when we're faced with the pain and anxiety of loss and change, perhaps we should fix our minds on what remains the same in our lives. God is constant even when our circumstances are not."

We get through and begin to live the new life God has for us by fixing our eyes on Him. He doesn't change no matter our circumstances.

So, where are your eyes fixed right now?

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." - 2 Corinthians 4:18

"Therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith." - Hebrews 12:1-2

It's Strange Right Now

 Can we just acknowledge it . . . ???

Church is a little strange right now. Well, all of life is. But, today, I'm talking specifically about church.

For some, church is still online. Sitting in your living room, logging onto your computer.

For others, church may have begun to gather again. But, it definitely doesn't look the same. Doesn't look the way we're used to it looking.

But, as I discovered when I could walk into the church building I'd taken for granted, it is also good to be back. Even though I know the church isn't a building and that just because we couldn't gather in our usual place didn't mean we were no longer the church, there's still something about the place we gather as the family of God. 

As I've arrived for church and watched others arrive and find a seat in this strange situation we find ourselves in, I've realized that for the first time many are feeling something I've felt many times before - long before things became what they are now. There's something that I'm recognizing in their faces that's familiar.

You see . . . when the place you sit is carefully chosen and you're not just sitting close to everyone else in the room, it can feel lonely. You can feel like you're completely alone, even when there's other people in the room. When you have to keep the appropriate distance between you and others, it can emphasize those feelings of being alone. And, even moreso for those who are coming to church alone right now, when they would usually come with others.

I've struggled with since being able to go back. In some ways, the fact that I'm single is more emphasized than ever, because I can't just find friends to sit with. But, it's also a familiar feeling for me. There have been many times when I've walked into church, and not seeing anyone I would normally sit with, felt very alone int he group.

So, speaking from experience, maybe I can offer a bit of encouragement in this time: Let's be intentional about loving one another. Be compassionate. And offer that smile and hello. Even though we can't stop like we normally would and sit down to have the conversation or give a hug to someone,  we can still be the family of God and care for and love each other.

And don't be afraid to acknowledge that it feels strange. That it's hard. That, although we might be glad to be back, we're also still struggling with how we have to do things to be back.

When Words Hold You Back

"How can you pray for me when my prayer need is about my marriage and you've never been married?"

It's a question I was asked about 15 years ago, as I was part of a prayer team. And a question I've never forgotten.

I don't remember how I answered that night. But I did pray for this person.

And then it took another 10 years before I allowed myself to be in a position like that again.

I walked away from that conversation doubting whether I could or should step into what I felt like God was calling me to. I questioned if I should wait until I was married to step into ministry outside of with children and youth. I questioned if I was even allowed to be involved in adult ministry before I was married, or at least had many, many more decades of life experience.

I never told anyone about this experience. I never voiced my doubts or questions to anyone. I just held onto them. I was held back for years by this one question I was asked. I don't remember who said those words, but they had a profound impact on my life for years.

I wonder what stories you could tell about the impact of someone's words on your life. The impact could be good or it could hold us back. The challenge is that we're more likely to remember the words that us to question and doubt, the words that hold us back.

That's what happened to me. I know at the same time as I heard the words above, there were words spoken to me that encouraged and affirmed me in stepping out. But, I don't remember those words clearly. In the presence of doubt, they quickly lost their power.

If you've made it this far into the post, I wonder is you relate?

As you've read my experience maybe your own experience has come to mind.

What are the words that have been spoken over you or to you that have held you back?

What are the experiences in your past that have made you decide to stay back in the shadows rather than stepping into what you know God is prompting you to do?

There is good news. We don't have to live by these words and experiences. We can live free of them.

I know it's possible, because it's been my experience. It takes a choice to do the work of changing your thinking and learn what the truth is, what God says about you. But it is possible.

It starts with exactly where my questions have brought you. We have to start with acknowledging the words and experiences. We're often not aware of them, so we ask God to show us.

Once we're aware and acknowledge them, healing begins. We ask God to speak His truth the those lies we've been believing. Then we regularly remind ourselves of the truth until we actually believe it. And we step out and do what we've been hiding from. 

I still remember the first night I put myself back in a similar role - praying for people who requested it. I made a commitment to do it and stepped back in. Choosing to believe the truth that God wanted me there and He would equip me for it.

So, what do you do next?

Ask God for His truth to believe, instead of the lies that's been holding you back.

Remind yourself of the truth regularly. Keep doing it until you start believing it.

Step in. Do it with shaky hands and a quivering voice. But do it.

If you're overwhelmed or not sure how to move on, talk to someone. Tell them your story about what happened, what was said that is holding you back. Ask them to pray for you. Ask them to help you take the first step.