The Hard, the Messy, & the Broken

 As this is Christmas week, it seems fitting to take a few moments to stop and reflect on the Christmas story (I'll be back to my series I'm in the middle of in the new year.)

I opened my Bible to Matthew's record it only a few minutes ago for the first time this season. Much later in December than I usually begin to dive into this familiar story each year.

But, this year, I've struggled with Christmas. If I'm honest, I haven't felt much like celebrating anything at all this year. Even as I sit to write this, there's very little in my house that would indicate it's Christmas.

The only thing I have even put out in the nativity set. The simplest, but maybe the most fitting, for this Christmas.

A few days ago, I came home to find a gift bag at my door. An anonymous friend dropped it off while I was at work. One of the things inside was some beautiful cards with Scripture about the Christmas story and the lyrics to some Christmas carols that tell the story.

Until that delivery, not the nativity set had made it out. I just simply had no interest. But, as I read those cards, I was reminded of what this time of year is really all about for us as Christians . . . the birth of Jesus.

And not into a neat and tidy world. The world Jesus was born into was hard, messy, and broken.

Much like our world today. If I had to give three words to describe our world, those are exactly the words I would use.

Hard.

Messy.

Broken.

That brings me back to Matthew 1. I don't often read the genealogies in Scripture carefully. I skim through the long list of names I can't pronounce, working to quickly get to the other parts. Today, I slowly, carefully read each line, each name.

As I read, I realized something. It wasn't new, but I needed to be reminded of it again today.

Yes, the genealogy show how the prophecies of Jesus' birth were fulfilled. The tribe of Judah. The root of Jesse. Of the line of David. All good stuff. But, not the important stuff for today.

The genealogy of Jesus that Matthew records is full of messy, broken people who have hard stories.

There's women. Not just inferred, but mentioned when that wasn't normal for that time.

There's prostitutes.

There's outsiders to the Jewish people.

There's adulterers and murderers.

There's people who didn't follow God with their lives.

There's people who were led astray.

All mixed in with those who were faithful followers of God. Sometimes the faithful follower of God is also the one who messed up.

Jesus' earthly genealogy doesn't hide the hard, the messy, the broken. It includes it for all to see and be reminded of.

Why?

Because God has redeemed it and used it for His purposes. It's God's specialty.

God takes our hard, messy, and broken and He redeems it. He uses it for His purposes and His glory.

I don't know where this Christmas finds you. 2020 has been a year like no other we've experienced. And we're all approaching this Christmas differently. 

But, can I remind you today that whatever hard, messy, and broken your life holds right now, God's not done. 

If you'll let Him, He can take it and turn it into something beautiful. It may not be exactly the beautiful we expect or happen the way we want it to, but, if we allow it, God will turn our hard, messy, and broken into beautiful - just like He did with Jesus' earthly genealogy.

I know that's hope I'm choosing to cling to right now. Even when I don't feel like celebrating the way I usually do this time of year, I can choose to celebrate because I have a God who specializes in turning hard, messy, and broken into beautiful for His purpose and His glory.

Why Do We Need Hugs?

 Have you ever had a time when you just felt like you needed a hug?

Or a time when someone gave you a hug and it changed how you were feeling - for the better?

I know I can easily answer both of those questions with yes.

I didn't know the science behind it all, but I've known hugs were important to our health.

Now, I know we're all different. For some of us, the more hugs the better. Other don't feel the need for many at all. Wherever you fall on this, I hop you'll read on.

One of the first things I searched was how many hugs you needed in a days. That resulted in an answer that surprised me:

"Family therapist Virginia Satir once said, 'We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.' While that may sound like a lot of hugs, it seems that many hugs are better than not enough." (https://www.healthline.com/health/hugging-benefits#How-many-hugs-do-we-need?, accessed Dec 11, 2020)

Whether you feel you need this many hugs a day or not, I think it reminds us that hugs are incredibly important.

My next question was about why hugs are so important. There were many sites that offered lists and articles on the benefits of hugging (I'll include some further links at the end of this post for those who want to read more). While the lists were slightly different, all came back to similar lists of benefits:

1) Hugs reduce stress by showing support

2) Hugs protect you against illness

3) Hugs may boost your hearth health

4) Hugs can make you happier

5) Hugs help reduce your fears

6) Hugs many help you reduce your pain

7) Hugs help you communicate with others

(https://www.healthline.com/health/hugging-benefits, accessed Dec 11, 2020)

One of the reasons why these benefits exist with hugging is because of what it triggers inside our bodies.

"Oxytocin is a chemical in our bodies that scientists sometimes call the 'cuddle hormone.' This is because its levels rise when we hug, touch, or sit close to someone else. Oxytocin is associated with happiness and less stress." (https://www.healthline.com/health/hugging-benefits, accessed Dec 11, 2020)

I think, if anything, my study of the science behind physical touch reinforces what I already knew about the good a hug or someone putting a hand on your shoulder does. It is a vital part of our lives. And that's whether you're a hugger or not. We all need people physically close to us.

Now, we move into what would be more what usually gets posted on this blog.

How does this need for physical touch play out in every day life?

How does it look in the church?

What do our current thoughts, opinions, attitudes, and actions in the church say about how we view this topic?

What does it look like for singles in the church?

_____________________________________________

Links to some of the other reading I did as I was preparing for this post and last week's post:

All links were correct and led to articles as of the writing of the post, Dec 11, 2020.

1) Why Physical Touch Matters for Your Wellbeing 

 https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_physical_touch_matters_for_your_well_being

2) The Power of Touch

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/201303/the-power-touch

3) The Science of Touch

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/hands_on_research#:~:text=There%20are%20studies%20showing%20that,aka%20%E2%80%9Cthe%20love%20hormone.%E2%80%9D

4) What are the Health Benefits of Affective Touch?

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/323143

What Does Science Say?

 So, what does science say?

This isn't often my next question in a series, but as I began to dig into this topic, I realized I couldn't adequately address physical touch without looking at this question. This led to s study I I found fascinating and I could have just kept going with no end in sight.

As I studied, one thing became incredibly clear to me: Physical touch is important for our health - physically and psychologically. The benefits of a hug, a hand on a shoulder, even just being physically close to another person cannot be denied.

All of this, for me, pointed to something: God created us with a need for physical touch, which means it is a good thing. Unfortunately, as sinful human beings, we have also perverted it and used it for harm. But, even this doesn't change the fact that we need it to be healthy.

One of the sites I came across that talked about our need for physical touch was clear on why we need it. There are benefits for our functioning:

"When you feel snowed under or pressured, the body releases the stress hormone cortisol. One of the biggest things touch can do is reduce such stress, allowing the immune system to work the way it should." (https://www.healthline.com/health/touch-starved#benefits-of-touch, accessed Dec 11, 2020)

This wasn't the only benefit given.

"Touch can also calm certain bodily functions, such as your heart rate and blood pressure. It does so by stimulating pressure receptors that transport signals to the vagus nerve. This nerve connects the brain to the rest of the body. It uses the signals to slow the pace the nervous system." (https://www.healthline.com/health/touch-starved#benefits-of-touch, accessed Dec 11, 2020)

Physical touch makes a difference in our bodies functioning. We need it for things to function well.

There was one more thing I came across that intrigued me:

"Plus, it tackles loneliness. Even gentle touch from a stranger has been shown to reduce feelings of social exclusion." (https://www.healthline.com/health/touch-starved#benefits-of-touch, accessed Dec 11, 2020)

As I thought about this more, I realized how true it is. I've experienced it myself and I'm sure many of you have too. When you're at some sort of gathering and someone greets you in a way that includes some form of physical touch (a hug, a handshake, a pat on the back) and you almost instantly feel like a part of the group.

I think that's where I'll end for today. But, my next post will look more specifically at hugging and the benefits of it.

What Does the Bible Say? (Part 2)

 Is Jesus' ministry on earth the only example of physical touch we find in the Bible?

This is the question I was still wrestling with as I finished last week's post. 

Jesus' life and ministry is certainly one of the clearest examples. And there isn't a list of direct commands or prohibitions given in Scripture. Some aspects of it are covered in other directives, but physical touch is not an item with a specific list of things in Scripture.

But, Scripture is also not completely silent on examples of other situations.

One of the things we see that we still often practice in our churches today is laying hands on people as we pray for them or commission them. (Acts 6:6, 9:17-19, 13:3, 2 Timothy 1:6)

Until the study for this posts, I've never really thought about this as being an example of physical touch. But it one. And it is an example of physical touch that we seem to see as acceptable for all in most situations.

There was one more example of what could be interpreted as physical touch in Scripture. Paul ends a number of his letters with these words and you can also see it in one of Peter's letters. At a glance we amy not see them as words about physical touch because of cultural differences.

Paul & Peter both end these letters with the words: 'Greet one another with a holy kiss." (Romans 16:16, 1 Corinthians 16:20, 2 Corinthians 13:12, 1 Thessalonians 5:26, 1 Peter 5:14)

It's easy to just move quickly past these words as not being important. But when I stopped and took the time to understand what was meant by this simple sentence.

As I looked at commentaries on these verses it started to become clear that this was about a greeting of mutual affection in the family of God.

In the note on Romans 16:16, Barne's Notes on the New Testament, it is described this way:

"Greet one another in an affectionate manner; that is, treat one another with kindness and love, and evince all the proper marks of affection."

This kind of greeting would be along the lines of a quick hug or a handshake today.

Talking about 1 Thessalonians 5:26, The Moody Bible Commentary says this:

"Paul's final requests included prayer for himself, and that the intimate gesture of the holy kiss be shared with all. This 'kiss' was a common gesture of fellowship meant to convey affection and unity. While it might still be an appropriate gesture in some cultures today, in others, more culturally acceptable gestures would adequately fulfill the apostle's intent."

These words from Paul and Peter would indicate a level of closeness in the greeting of other believers where physical touch would be part of it. Nothing sexual or impure is involved. This is simply being willing to be close enough to physically touch each other.

While I'm sure with more study, I could find more in the Bible on this topic. But, I will be moving on in my writing on this in the coming weeks. Next week, I'll be starting to talk about what science says about our need for things like hugs and people sitting close to us. It's been a fascinating topic to dive into.