The Assumptions we Don't Realize we're Believing

 Going back to places often brings up a lot of memories. And it can make you think a lot about life.

I was recently back at the college I graduated from. I spent two years at Briercrest. I learned and grew a lot in my time there. We arrived a day early for the reason we were there, so I had time to explore the community . . . 17 years after I finished school there.

I wandered the once very familiar streets of the small town - noticing what what had changed and how much was still exactly the same. As I did, memories of friends, the crazy things we did as college students, classes, profs, and dorm life came flooding back.

After a bit of walking, the flood of memories slowed and I started thinking about other things. I started reflecting on how things have gone in my life both when I was a student there and the time since. Specifically about some of the things to do with circumstances in life.

If you've read what I've written about the last few years, you'll know I've written a lot about singleness in the church. And this is where my thoughts were again.

When I was growing up, going to a Christian school for any amount of time for post-secondary was seen as basically a guarantee that you would find the person you were going to marry. So spending two years at Briercrest and not having gone on a date with someone was seen as strange in the circles I was part of. In fact, it was a bit of a joke in my family that I had "failed" Bible college because I came home single.

It was this experience that made me realize how easily we believe things without thinking them through and make them a part of our assumptions. If you had asked me why I was going to Briercrest, I would have given you a lot of reasons, none of which included finding someone to marry. And all of them were absolutely reasons why I chose to go.

What I didn't realize was that I'd bought in the assumptions that gave Bible colleges the nickname "Bridal College" and made the quip "ring by spring or your money back" so popular in places I was. All these things were said in jest, but there was a degree to which everyone also assumed they were true and believed them.

I never would have said these things out loud or acknowledged I believed them, but they had become a part of what I thought, believed, assumed. So to graduate after two years still very much single and hear jokes about failing because I was still single was harder than I was prepared for. It revealed the things in the church culture I had grown up in that I had just taken in without thinking about it.

And I think it's just the tip of the iceberg in terms of the assumptions we believe without even realizing it. Especially when it comes to singleness in the church.

So, what do we do with those assumptions?

How do we become more aware of the assumptions we're believing and how they impact our lives?

And what do we do when we become aware of them?

I think we have to start with asking ourselves why we believe the things we do. That's how we might begin to see where these assumptions are in our lives. 

And when we become aware of them, we can choose to see them differently.

In my case, I realized as I wandered the streets and buildings at Briercrest, I was finally in a place where I didn't feel like I had failed or that something was wrong with my because I graduated Bible college single. But, I also know it took me a long time to get to that place, because of the assumptions I had believed.