The Hardest Sunday to go to Church

 Some dates on the calendar are difficult ones for all of us for a variety of reasons.

As I flipped my calendar to the month of May yesterday, I realized we were fast approaching what I would call the hardest Sunday of the entire year for me, and many others, to go to church.

What is that Sunday?

It's Mother's Day.

When I tell people that, some have a list of reasons why I might not want to go to church this particular Sunday. But, many others have no idea why.

Let me tell you why . . .

Most Sundays I go to church and I sit surrounded by couple and families. Some Sundays, I feel acutely out of place as a single person with no kids of my own. Other Sundays I hardly notice that.

But, on Mother's Day . . . that feeling of being out of place is amplified. 

I can't tell you the number of Mother's Day Sundays I've sat in church where mothers are celebrated - applauded as they're asked to stand, given gifts as they leave the service - & I've wrestled with how it makes me feel. The way I feel ignored again.

I know that there's nothing malicious about it. There's no plan of making me, and others like me, feel ignored. I see the desire to honour mothers for the very important role they play, for all they do. And I know it's needed. I watch my sister as a single mom and I don't think she gets enough recognition for all she does.

But, I do wonder if there's a way to honour mothers without making it incredibly obvious who doesn't have kids. I wonder if there's a way to celebrate and acknowledge the role of mothers in our lives that doesn't leave some feeling like they're ignored, or unvalued.

Maybe, as we return to what feels more like normal after a couple years of not being able to do this, we can change the way we do things?

Maybe, we can look for ways to give gifts that don't mean people are basically asking if you're a mom as you leave the service. (Yes, I've had this happen. It was one of the worst feelings in my life.)

Maybe, we can celebrate the way even those of us who aren't moms still play a role in the lives of kids and others in our lives alongside mothers - at least in the public parts of what we do.