Please Don't Touch me Without my Permission

 I don't know if I'm just more aware of it since the start of COVID and physical distancing, or if people are just different now, but in the last while I've felt like there's an increase in people just invading my personal space.

I'm not talking about people I know, who have my permission to get in my space. I learned in the last few years just how much I need that. We were made to have physical contact with others and I don't think I'll take that for granted ever again.

But, it feels like I've noticed an increase in the numbers of people I don't know or barely know wanting to give me a hug - particularly at church. And, when I politely say "no thanks", they're either offended or they just keep trying. Some week after week, until I feel myself backing away every time they get anywhere near where I am.

I assume the other person has good intentions. That they're not intentionally setting out to make me uncomfortable.

But, that doesn't change the facts that they are making me feel unwelcome and uncomfortable in that moment.

For me, anything more than a handshake when greeting someone is reserved for my family and my friends, not every person I see at church. It it's an appropriate moment of prayer for someone and both people are okay with it, a hand on a  shoulder in prayer can be a good thing.

But, I struggle with those who push for a hug or unexpectedly touch my back or my shoulder. If I'm not giving permission for that, then it shouldn't be happening.

And I'm watching this happen with kids too. The number of times I've seen my niece have to deal with this in church too. Just because she's a kid doesn't mean she should be okay with it. In fact, her being a kid, means it should only be at her invitation. She gets to decide if she's okay with that.

We don't what a person we see at church, who isn't a close friend, may be dealing with or feeling in that moment. Whey may not be comfortable with physical touch in that moment, or touch from you, and we should be respecting that. If someone is uncomfortable with the hug, then we should respect that and give them the space - not take it personally.