When the Big Name Behind the Purity Message of Your Youth Walks Away . . .

What do you do when someone who was influential in Christian circles walks away from the faith?

Joshua Harris recently announced he no longer saw himself as a Christian. It was a bit of a shocking thing - even after all that has happened with him in recent years. Changing his stance on much of what he had written about dating and relationships with opposite sex.

I recently wrote a post about "How the Purity Message of my Youth was Incomplete". When I look back, whether directly or indirectly, Joshua Harris was one who had a big influence on what that message was. His voice was one of the loudest at that time.

When the statement of his regret over what he had written in his book, "I Kissed Dating Good-bye", came out, I was both relieved and angry. Relieved that the damage that message had done was finally being acknowledged. Angry because in many ways it felt like too little too late for me and others I know. We were already well aware of the consequences of his message - because we're living them.

When I heard this latest news, I was saddened. Somewhere along the way doubts gained control for him. And he is walking off the right path.

Harris has also recently announced that he is divorcing his wife - a wife he found following what he laid out in his book that seemed to promise a great marriage if you followed this same path. His own marriage ending in divorce could be seen as something he deserves, but that would help no one and is hardly the response we should have as Christians.

Once again, this is something that saddens me.

I've realized that my anger does no good. And actually continues the harm I've felt was done through his message on purity and dating. I've had to let that go - give it to God and choose forgiveness.

So, what now?

When someone in leadership falls it can shake us.

When someone influential in the Christian world walks away, it can leave us with more questions than answers.

Even if we weren't necessarily a fan of that person or the message they spoke or wrote.

So, how do we respond?

I think it's a two part response.

First, we pray. For the specific person and for all others, including ourselves, who are impacted by what has happened.

Second, we find people and places where we can talk about our questions arising from this, about how we're dealing with it if it's had an impact on us.