Tuesday, December 4, 2012

learning to be me

For the last while, God has been using things I've experienced in my life to remind me of or reveal to me things He has taught me. This post is another one of those memories. It's sometimes strange to me how clear a memory becomes, but then I see what God is saying through it and it makes sense. With that, on to what the post is actually about...

The drive seemed never ending. Field after field of the same thing. A few houses and farm buildings dotted the fields.

As darkness fell, I found myself watching the sky. The stars. The moon. A clarity I wasn't used to. No city lights obscuring.

It was the beginning of a new journey for me. As I sat in the backseat of the car watching the sky, I felt a mixture of excitement and nervousness.

Bible college.

A small prairie town.

A sixteen hour drive from the only place I'd ever lived.

I could hardly believe it was actually happening. I'd thought about going to this school for a few years and never felt the time was right, or had the courage to actually go. But now it was reality.

New town.

New roommate (and back to sharing a room after years of not).

New friends.

The chapel was visible from a distance. It's how we knew we were getting close. Finally, we turned into the two that would be my home for the next eight months.

New student registration.

Pick up my class schedule and other important information.

Find my dorm.

Moving my stuff into my room seemed almost surreal. My Mom wanted to help me unpack it all right away. I wanted to do it myself . . . later. But, I did let her help a little, then left the rest for later.

It seemed like doing that myself was a necessary beginning of my new adventure. The beginning of a journey of learning to be me.

At home everyone knew me (at least it felt that way). Here, nobody did . . . yet.

At home everyone knew my family. Here, a handful recognized my parents' names, but didn't really know them.

At home it felt like I had been put in a specific place where I was supposed to serve at church. Here, I could do what I wanted.

Those things excited me.

They also scared me.

I like the comfortable. I like to know what to expect. But I knew I needed to learn who I was. And this was a place to do that.

I knew God had led me here. I knew it was the right place for me to be right now. I had to trust Him.

Following where God leads us. It's not always the easiest thing, but it's always the best thing. When we go where God wants us to go, He does great things in our lives because we let Him in.

Sometimes He takes us away from what is comfortable and familiar to teach us who He made us to be. That's what going to Bible college was for me. For you it might be something different. What is important, is that we follow God into those strange and uncomfortable places so we can learn.

By the end of two years, Bible college had become a comfortable and familiar place for me. But those two years had served their purpose. I had a better idea of what God had for me and how He had created me. And I was sure enough of it that I could go back to a place where people had known me for a long time and still be who God created me to be instead of anything else.

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