When We Just Need a Hug

 We're living in a world where hugs, handshakes, pats on the back seem like distant memories.

I wrote a post a little over a year ago talking about why hugs are so important as a single person. Really it was about why people getting physically close to us is important. 

Lamenting the sudden lack of physical touch and the need it revealed.

Now that we're two years into this new reality, it's something that has come up again. While it might not feel quite as taboo to be close enough to someone to touch them at this point, the rules have still changed. There's a hesitancy. A constant need to ask a question first.

And I get it. I understand. Some people still aren't comfortable with it. Some people never were and are enjoying the way it is now better. I always want to be respectful of people and where they're at.

But, here's the other side - from someone who has been living it for two years.

I need that hug.

I need that hand on my shoulder.

I need that person who gets closer to me than 2 meters away.

My new reality has become that I can easily go 3 to 4 days without anyone getting anywhere close to me. And the only regular hug I can count on getting comes every time I see my niece.

I feel the lack of it. 

I feel it in the tension in my shoulders that has become the norm.

I feel it in the increased irritability that seems to always be there.

And I feel it in the positive effects when I do receive a hug. When the tension and irritability seem to soften for a bit.

As I've been reading through the gospels lately, I've noticed something I'd never really paid attention to before. When Jesus healed people, He almost always touched them in the process. His words alone were powerful enough to heal them. He didn't need to put His hands on them. Yet, He most often did.

Why?

I think Jesus knew the healing and restoring power of physical touch. He saw these people requesting healing ad He knew they need more than just the removal of the disease or physical infirmity. He saw the pain and suffering caused by being outside of community and He healed that too.

We also see Jesus prioritizing healthy physical touch when people were bringing their children to Him and His disciples tried to send parents away. Jesus stopped His disciples and made the children coming to Him important.

Jesus' ministry show us an example of physical touch in healthy ways being important. And, now, we live in a society where it's been pushed aside, where the rules for it have change significantly. But, our need for it hasn't changed.

So, what do we do now? How do we more forward?

As things shift again, we need to make space for those who are comfortable with it and need it, to get those hugs again, to have someone actually sit beside them.

Because I know the difference hug makes. I just experienced in a surprise, short visit with a friend.