Light... Christmas Thoughts

Why do we decorate with lights at Christmas?

I've been thinking a lot about light this Christmas. It's one of the things we see everywhere in our Christmas decorations. We hang lights on trees, on our houses, on our cars, . . . sometimes on ourselves.

It looks beautiful. The other ornaments on the tree often shimmer with the reflection of the light.

But, why are lights to ubiquitous this time of year? Why do we put them everywhere?

I think we can often miss the significance of them. The reason why we put them everywhere. I know I do.

This morning, as I sat having a quiet time by the light of my Christmas tree, I was captured by a few verses I read. I was going back through all the passages I've read in lead up to Christmas, and I noticed a few verses that talked specifically about light in relation to Jesus' coming to earth.

"The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in a land of deeper darkness a light has dawned." (Isaiah 9:2).

"I Him was life, and that life was the light of the world. The light shines in the darkness and darkness has not overcome it." (John 1:4-5).

"The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world." (John 1:9).

We celebrate with light because we're celebrating the Light coming into the world.

Jesus came as the light of the world. That's what we celebrate this year.

Light coming into the darkness.

Light overcoming the darkness.

I needed this reminder this morning. 

As I being to look back over 2022, it feels pretty dark, and this Christmas doesn't appear to be happening anything like usual, or like I hoped it would. I didn't think 2022 could be darker than 2021; I came into 2022 with hope of the light and joy. But that's not the reality. There was plenty of good times in 2022, but it was also a hard year for my family . . . again. 

So, I need the reminder of light coming into the darkness. Of light overcoming the darkness.

I don't know what this year, this month, this week, or this day have brought you, but I wonder if we all need the reminder of the Light coming into our darkness this Christmas.

The events of our world this last year feel pretty dark and it can be easy to lose sight of hope, of light.

The events of your personal world may feel pretty dark right now.

But, Jesus has come. He is the Light coming into our darkness. He is God with Use! Immanuel!

As I close, I leave you with one of my favourite Christmas carols. A reminder of the hope and light in the midst of chaos, brokenness, and pain of our world.

https://youtu.be/kaFnJET_LS4

Christmas Memories

 I've had memories of Christmas' growing up running through my mind for the last few weeks. 

Memories of laughter and fun. 

Memories of family together.

Memories of a crowded table - everyone has to keep their elbows in so we don't knock the food off each other's forks.

Memories of too much food and my Grandma always offering more.

Memories of singing carols together with my Grandma at the piano.

Memories of my sisters, my cousins and I are huddled around the nativity set, each taking our turn to place the figurines of the set in place as Grandma read the Christmas story aloud.

Memories of puzzles started and completed.

Memories of gifts that reminded us how loved and care about we were.

Memories of welcoming in many who had nowhere else to go for Christmas.

This Christmas is the second one since my Grandma passed away. Although there were Christmas' before she passed that she wasn't able to be there, it's different now to know she's not just down the road waiting for a visit.

It's still a little bittersweet to think about Christmas this year. For so many years my Grandma, her house, her cooking, her plan for the family for the day was the center of all that happened. Even when she no longer hosted, she still had influence on the day.

But, the part that I keep coming back to is how she made sure that we never forgot what it was really about in the midst of the food and the presents. She was never afraid to tell us grandkids that we had to wait to open presents until we'd read the Christmas story together.

She'd read the Scripture about Jesus' birth and you could hear in her voice how much it meant to her. That to her this was the most important part of everything about that day. 

I'm challenged that I need to remember the reason why we do this all. The thing that is the most important about this day.

So, today, can I encourage you to take the time to stop and read and remember that in the midst of all this time of year brings, the most important thing is that we're celebrating the promised and long-awaited Messiah coming to earth?

We celebrate because Jesus coming to earth as a baby changed everything.

Light in the darkness.

Peace in the chaos.

Comfort in the brokenness.

An Undivided Focus . . . and the Assumption we too Often Make

 How many times have you heard someone say that being single means you don't have to think about a spouse and the impact you have on them as you serve God?

If you're single, probably often.

If you're married, likely still often, just not directed at you. Possibly said by you.

And I'm not going to tell you this is wrong. Scripture says this. 1 Corinthians 7:32-34 says:

"I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs - how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of the world - how he please his wife - and his interests are divided. An unmarried women or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married women is concerned about the affairs of this world - how she can please her husband."

Reading this, it makes a lot of sense.

So, why am I writing about this/ What needs to be said?

I think we need to take a few minutes to talk about the expectations and assumptions that we often from this. I'm not convinced they're helpful or good. In fact, I would say that, at times, they're harmful.

I've had the experience of someone trying to shame me into filling a role I knew I wasn't a good for for, simply because I was single and therefore didn't have anyone at home to consider. And I know it's not just me or something that happens only occasionally; I've talked to many other singles with the same experience. Sometimes overt, and sometimes done very subtly.

I thinks this is a misuse of this passage. If you look at it in the context of all of 1 Corinthians and all of Scripture, you'll also see teaching about serving in the areas God has called you to and gifted you for. So, my saying no to something I know I'm not a good fit for isn't wrong just because I'm single.

There's also the issue of the time and energy I have available. Yes, there's the time that some by nature of being married that people spend on their spouse, that I have available. But, I am also the only one who does all the cleaning, all the laundry, all the grocery shopping, all of everything else for my house. With another person, there is some degree (realizing it's different in all marriages) of splitting of those tasks between two people. As a single person, you're also the only income earner, so when extra expenses come, your only option is to work an extra job or overtime, cutting into time available.

I know I happily do more volunteering at church than some people. I will continue to do so because I can. But, I find it hurtful when people assume I have more time to give or that I should forego my giftings to fill any need at any time just because I'm single.

So, my practical response to this is that we all need to keep watching our assumptions on other people. We likely don't know the whole story. 

Regardless of whether we are married or single, we are to live lives that honour God and to use our gifts to serve God. That is the main point that Paul keeps coming back to in 1 Corinthians 7.

The Most Well-Known Passage on Singleness

 What does the Bible say about singleness?

1 Corinthians 7 is probably the most well-known passage that talks about singleness. It's quoted and used well and it's quoted and used in sometimes hurtful ways.

Unfortunately, I've most often heard it referenced in unhelpful ways. And, if I'm honest, I've used it in unhelpful ways as well. Most of the time when people reference this passage for singles, it's for a couple of reasons. The first is to tell then that the Bible says they should get married if they "burn with passion" (1 Corinthians 7:9). As if it were that simple.

The second, I believe is meant to be encouraging, but it doesn't come across that way. It is often used to tell someone that singleness is a gift from God that gives them an undivided focus on God. Sounds good. True for the most part.

But, when someone isn't single by choice, telling them it's a gift from God and they should embrace it diminishes their struggle and desire for marriage, rather than acknowledging it. The part about having an undivided focus seems to come with an expectation that singles will volunteer wherever there's a need without paying attention to the things God has gifted them for and given them a passion to do. 

So, what does 1 Corinthians 7 actually say?

The first thing is that Paul values both those who are married and those who are single. Over and over in these verses, Paul holds up both marriage and singleness as ways to honour God and encourages living in that way. His primary concern is that those who are married and those who are single live lives that honour God and obey His commands, specifically regarding sexuality.

While Paul talks about wishing that were as he was in verse 7, he is not saying that singleness is the only option. He is acknowledging that there are some challenges that may be removed if one was single. But, this is not an encouragement at the expense of getting married.

Not to address the words of verse 9, which says,

"But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."

When these words are quoted to a single person who is struggling with any kind of sexual desire, they're usually hurtful.

Using these words in this way diminishes a legitimate struggle. Our sexuality and desire are given to us by God and we are to keep them within God's plan for them. But, that's not always easy - especially in our world today.

It should be quite clear from what we see in our world, even in our Christian circles, that marriage is not a cure for any struggle with sexuality and saying within God's original plan for it. So when we tell a single person they should just get married because of this desire or a struggle here, we make their struggle small and unimportant by implying that it has an easy solution.

I don't dismiss Paul's words that when this is an area of strong desire, marriage should be pursued. That's what he writes here and it's true. The problem comes with how we use these words when we're talking to people who are being honest about their struggle in the moment.

I've wrestled with how to finish this post. I never want my writing to just tell us what a standard is or point out where we've gotten off course. That does little to help any of us. But, I haven't been sure how to finish this one.

I guess there's a couple of things that we can go to get this practical. And I think they apply beyond just this post, but definitely here.

The first is to practice really listening and caring about the person in front of you who is sharing with you. When someone who is single is talking about their desire to be married or a struggle to keep their sexuality within God's plan, don't go looking for the first Scripture you can throw at them. Listen. And, yes, this may get uncomfortable at times, but it's necessary.

The second thing is to practice putting aside the assumptions you have as you read Scripture. Do your best to read it for what it is, not what you've always thought it was.