What I Think About Valentine's Day (If It Really Matters)

I've never been someone to write about singleness or relationships, but with a week until the last Valentine's Day before I turn 30, I've been thinking about singleness a lot. (And that has resulted in what it becoming a series on singleness... don't worry, if you're getting sick of these this is the last one for a while.)

Valentine's Day . . .

I've had 28 of them so far. Only had a date for one of them. And unless something changes in a very short time, the one coming up will be spent without a date.

Some years, I've dreaded Valentine's Days. Some years, the day has passed without me thinking too much about it. I don't know if there's ever been a year I've looked forward to it.

In Bible college, those of us who were without a significant other on Valentine's Day had another name for the day . . . Single's Awareness Day. It was the one day of the year where, as you walked around campus, it was glaringly obvious who was single and who was not. Both the dorm and the library would be quieter than usual that night as anyone in a relationship was doing something for a date that night.

Some years, I've gotten together with other single girls for dinner, chocolate, games, etc. Something to do to not spend the evening at home alone. Those years have often been fun, but they've never completely removed the sting of not having someone special on that day.

My Mom always does her best to make that day a little special. Whether it's a card, or chocolate, or both. I've always appreciated that.

So, as I sit here and reflect on 28, soon to be 29, Valentine's Days in my life, all but one spent without a date, I wonder what it would be like not to be single on this day. Somehow I think Valentine's Day would be different than it was with my high school crush. And I find myself wondering if I'll ever know.

But I also find comfort in knowing that even if one day I do have someone to celebrate Valentine's Day with, it doesn't have to be the most important of all days. We make a big deal out this day because the calendar and the gift shops tell us to. But if it's not part of something everyday, I wonder if the money spent, the flowers, cards, and chocolates given, and the dinners out really have true meaning. It's easy for one day, but true love goes the distance.