What do you do when your sense of purpose is taken away?
How do you rediscover a sense of purpose when a large part of what made that up is suddenly & unexpectedly removed?
These are questions I've wrestled with a lot in the last 13 months.
As most who have read things I've written in that timeframe will know, 13 months is how long it's been since I lost the job I'd had for 17 years, largely due to things I had no control over & no opportunity to speak into.
Beyond the fact that I was thrust into the unknown of navigating unemployment & finding a new job, in the moment I walked out the door of that office where I'd spent many hours & significant amounts of energy & passion, I was walking away from a large part of what I had seen as my life purpose for the 17 years I'd been there.
I wasn't often on the frontline of the work done there, but keeping bills paid, payroll accurate, & reports submitted to keep funding coming was important to the frontline work continuing. I walked into the office everyday with a sense that I was a part of something that changed lives everyday - even though most outside those I called coworkers at the time would never know who I was. As I walked out that door for the last time, I walked away from all that.
So, I was left with tough questions to wrestle with. I continued to wrestle while I was unemployed & as I returned to work in a new workplace. Even as I found & began a new job, that sense of purpose still felt elusive. Afterall, while we all have plumbing, heating, & air conditioning needs, the life changing aspect of what I used to do still seemed to be missing.
But, as I've discovered in the last 13 months, a sense of purpose doesn't have to come from the work I do everyday. In fact, I've realized it doesn't for a lot of people. No matter what fills your day for work, there can be a sense of purpose in how you do things - in how you interact with people. Wherever we are & whoever is in front of my in that moment is part of my purpose.
Giving the person right in front of me my full attention is more important than anything I can do for work. I don't think I'll ever forget the moments that drove this home for me.
The first came a few weeks into my time of being unemployed. I was playing a game with my niece & she said something about how she liked it much better since I stopped checking my phone all the time when I was with her. I hadn't realized how much checking work messages to just attempt to keep on top of things had creeped into my time with her.
The second was when I told my niece I had a new job. I could tell she wanted to be excited for me, but something was bugging her. When I finally got her to tell me what was up, she told me she was worried I'd go back to checking my phone all the time. I had to reassure that it would be different this time.
That's when I realized that my work doesn't have to provide the purpose. Each person & each interaction is my purpose in that moment. The best thing I can do is give my full attention in the moment. That's how I can love others the way God wants us to. That's how I have a sense of purpose no matter what I do.
I'm challenged to make sure my phone is put away when I'm with people - especially with my niece. Rather than going through life distracted, I'm choosing to give my full attention to those who are in front of me each day.
What is one thing you can do to embrace your purpose & give your attention fully to what is in front of you each day?
