When Words Hold You Back

"How can you pray for me when my prayer need is about my marriage and you've never been married?"

It's a question I was asked about 15 years ago, as I was part of a prayer team. And a question I've never forgotten.

I don't remember how I answered that night. But I did pray for this person.

And then it took another 10 years before I allowed myself to be in a position like that again.

I walked away from that conversation doubting whether I could or should step into what I felt like God was calling me to. I questioned if I should wait until I was married to step into ministry outside of with children and youth. I questioned if I was even allowed to be involved in adult ministry before I was married, or at least had many, many more decades of life experience.

I never told anyone about this experience. I never voiced my doubts or questions to anyone. I just held onto them. I was held back for years by this one question I was asked. I don't remember who said those words, but they had a profound impact on my life for years.

I wonder what stories you could tell about the impact of someone's words on your life. The impact could be good or it could hold us back. The challenge is that we're more likely to remember the words that us to question and doubt, the words that hold us back.

That's what happened to me. I know at the same time as I heard the words above, there were words spoken to me that encouraged and affirmed me in stepping out. But, I don't remember those words clearly. In the presence of doubt, they quickly lost their power.

If you've made it this far into the post, I wonder is you relate?

As you've read my experience maybe your own experience has come to mind.

What are the words that have been spoken over you or to you that have held you back?

What are the experiences in your past that have made you decide to stay back in the shadows rather than stepping into what you know God is prompting you to do?

There is good news. We don't have to live by these words and experiences. We can live free of them.

I know it's possible, because it's been my experience. It takes a choice to do the work of changing your thinking and learn what the truth is, what God says about you. But it is possible.

It starts with exactly where my questions have brought you. We have to start with acknowledging the words and experiences. We're often not aware of them, so we ask God to show us.

Once we're aware and acknowledge them, healing begins. We ask God to speak His truth the those lies we've been believing. Then we regularly remind ourselves of the truth until we actually believe it. And we step out and do what we've been hiding from. 

I still remember the first night I put myself back in a similar role - praying for people who requested it. I made a commitment to do it and stepped back in. Choosing to believe the truth that God wanted me there and He would equip me for it.

So, what do you do next?

Ask God for His truth to believe, instead of the lies that's been holding you back.

Remind yourself of the truth regularly. Keep doing it until you start believing it.

Step in. Do it with shaky hands and a quivering voice. But do it.

If you're overwhelmed or not sure how to move on, talk to someone. Tell them your story about what happened, what was said that is holding you back. Ask them to pray for you. Ask them to help you take the first step.

The Danger of Labels Becoming Indentity

Labels are everywhere in our society. We use them to categorize jobs, places, experiences, things, people. It's that last one that I think often gets us into trouble.

We label people. And we end up doing more harm than good. People are more than whatever label we try to give them. I think we know this, but that doesn't change how easy it is for us to label people.

But, I think there's a place where we can do even greater harm with our labeling.

As part of the launch team for Rebekah Lyon's new book, Rhythms of Renewal, which will come out on October 1, I just finished reading the book. So much of what I read resonated with me and challenged me. Over the next few weeks before the books is released, I'm going to share a bit about the book and how it challenged me. I think the message of the book is a needed one and I'm excited about it being made available.

It's from this book that I was challenged in this area where our labeling does great harm. One of her chapters is on labels, and Rebekah writes:

"The problem is, when we use of these labels to describe us, they often give us our deepest sense of identity. We believe the lie that the label defines us. We shift from believing a particular label is something we face to believing it's something we are."

When I first read those words, I had to stop and read them again . . . and again . . . and again. The realization of how true they are hit me hard.

I do it all the time. I label myself as single. I label myself as my anxiety disorder. Rarely are these labels positive. They almost always describe things about myself in the worst possible way. And they become my identity.

But, I'm learning that I don't have to let those labels become my identity. Yes, I'm single, but that's not everything about me. Yes, I have an anxiety disorder, but that's far from the only thing true about me.

We have to learn our identity from something or somewhere other than the labels we've given ourselves or have accepted that others gave us. This is how we really learn to live.

A little bit later in the same chapter, Rebekah goes on to say:

"When we don't view our identity through a label, we're able to find ways to thrive in spite of whatever label we're living under."

Because our labels are so often used to limit us, they hold us back. But, when we find our identity where we should, in God, everything changes. To quote Rebekah one more time:

"When our identity is found in who God says we are rather than in our highs and lows, our successes and failures, our desires, affections, or shortcoming, we experience the freedom we were meant to enjoy."

Freedom comes when we find our identity in God and nothing else. Then we experience the life Jesus said He came to bring us in John 10:10.

This is something I've learned and am still learning.

When I allow my anxiety disorder to become my identity, I'm held back by it. I've limited by the box I put myself in. But, when my identity is found in who God says I am, the anxiety disorder I have is not the focus and I can all sorts of things and experience a life the label of anxiety disorder as my identity prevent.

What are the labels you've placed on yourself that have become your identity?

What does God say about your identity?

What would change about your life if you lived out of your identity from God rather than your labels?

Free to Live God's Way

"Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil, live as God's slaves." (1 Peter 2:16)

This verse falls in a section on the way Christians should live in the midst of a society that doesn't live God's way. All of Peter's instruction in 1 Peter 2 & 3 is about how to live differently from the world around us.

As Christians, we get to live as free people. Jesus has freed us from all that once bound us up. We have been given a free gift of freedom.

But, we're cautioned here not to use it as an excuse to do whatever we want just because we're freed from those rules. The freedom we have from a long list of regulations doesn't mean we have an excuse to do evil.

Peter encourages us to take our freedom and use it to live under God's rules. We have the choice - that's why Peter calls this living as free people. It's not something we have to do. It's something we choose to do.

How are you choosing to live?

The Victory is Already Ours

If we already have victory, why are we so often living in defeat?

If we already have victory, why does it seem so hard to live that way?

"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the One who is in you, is greater than the one who is in the world." (1 John 4:4)

The use of the word "them" when it talks about overcoming has always seemed a bit strange to me. But, when I was reading this verse in the larger context recently, it made more sense to me.

We often use this verse when we talk about being able to defeat Satan in our lives. And that is true and powerful. But, I think this verse paints a broader picture too. In 1 John 4:1-6, John is talking about antichrists who have come to deceive people. They are trying to get us off course.

1 John 4:4 is then talking about the power we have in the spiritual world over all of Satan's forces. It's not just about the ultimate defeat of Satan, but also about the day-to-day defeat of evil spirits who attach us with their deceptions and lies.

So, if this is true, then why do we so often live in defeat?

Why aren't we living in the victory that this passage and so many others say we can?

I think John goes on to answer this in 1 John 5:5 where he says:

"Who is it that overcomes to world? Only the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God."

It all comes down to what we believe. Not what we say we believe, but what we actually believe. It's our actions that reveal this.

Far too often we're actually believing the lies of the enemy and his demons over the truth from God. Oh, we might say we believe God and we can probably recite truth from our heads, but we don't really believe it. Our actions reveal what we're truely believing. They show where we're believing lies.

We act on what we truely believe. In fact, that's what belief truely is - putting your life on it, living it out. We can way whatever we want about what we believe, but our actions will show what we're actually believing.

What are you believing? What do your actions say you believe?

Are you willing to let God point out to you the lies you believe, so He can show you the truth? Are you willing to ask Him to help you to live out the truth instead of the lies you've been believing?

It has to translate into our actions and how we live for it to actually be changed. We need to be willing to act on what we say we believe if it's actually going to make a difference and live in the victory Scripture tells us we can have.

Done With Pretending

I was looking back over some of my posts here, and was reminded again of the importance of being who we are with people, of not pretending we have it all together, as I reread a post I wrote in April 2016.

As I read it, I realized that the idea of being done with pretending to be perfect is one of the reasons I've written some of the posts I've written in the last few months. When we live trying to hide things, it's tiring. We live with the "fear of being found out." It's exhausting to live with that.

When we learn to be honest about our struggles and our joys, it changes everything for us. I don't think we need to lay out all of the detail for every person we know or meet. But, we need to have people we're being completely honest with. That frees us from trying to be perfect for everyone we meet. We have people who know and still love us, so we can be free from the concern of trying to tell the whole world we have it all together.

I think the post I wrote that prompted these thoughts is worth posting again, so here it is:

Rain cascaded off the edge of the umbrella forming a stream around her as it soaked the ground. She stood un-moving as she debated stepping out from under the protection. Knowing she would be drenched the moment she did so, she wondered if it was worth it to step out.
Memories of the joy of running and playing in the rain as a little child filled her mind. The times she was unafraid to get a little messy and experience the joy of not worrying what she looked like to others.
When had she become do concerned with looking right to others? With people seeing her as someone who had it all together?
The more she thought about it, the more she realized how tired she was from the work it required. Hiding anything that might be even the slightest bit messy from the world around her took a lot of work. She always had to be paying careful attention, making sure there was no crack for what was underneath to show through for even a brief moment.
Who was she really trying to impress? Was it really worth the energy and the time?
She collapsed the umbrella and let the rain our down on her. Eventually she began to walk, then run, then dance. Laughter echoing with the raindrops hitting the ground.
She'd forgotten the freedom of it until now. Worries about looking right and impressing others vanished from her mind. Cares that had been holding her back released their hold. For those moments she was free to be who she was underneath the masks she usually wore.


I wonder if we're more like this than we really want to admit. Even as I wrote it, I realized how often that struggle is mine.

But, I also know there is freedom that comes with dropping the masks and letting what's underneath be seen. There's freedom in stepping into God's cleansing rain in our lives. In letting it wash away our perfectly manicured and presented selves, to show the broken and the mess we've hidden behind it.

Because when we allow God to wash away the facade we've put up, He can reveal a masterpiece that He has built behind. Out of the broken and the mess of our lives God creates something far more beautiful than our pretend perfection ever was.

Will you step out from under the umbrella? Will you allow the rain to wash away your pretend perfection to reveal God's beautiful work?

More Than Conquerors!

What does it mean that we're more than conquerors?

How is this possible?

Romans 8:37 says, "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors."

The words "more than conquerors" jumped off the page at me when I read it recently. I've these words lots before, but it was like I was reading them for the first time.

As I looked at the context of this verse, I realized the whole passage is about the victory we already have in Christ! We get to live from a place of victory, not a place of defeat. The passage around this verse (Romans 8:31-39) talks about the victory we have in Christ.

This isn't a victory brought about by what we have done. It's brought about by the work of Christ on our behalf. This means there is nothing that can separate me from it. This victory isn't going away. It is secure.

When we fully understand this, it changes the way we live. It changes how we approach the daily battles when we know our ultimate victory has already been secured. We fight differently when we're not fighting from a place of defeat. We fight confidently when we know the outcome is victory.

It doesn't mean it suddenly becomes easy or that we don't have any battles to fight. We still have hard and bloody battles to fight. It's still messy. But, it does give us hope in the middle of long and difficult battles. A hope that helps us to keep fighting.

What battle are you fighting that you're ready to quit?

Are you fighting it from a place of defeat? Or are you standing in the victory that has already been achieved for you through Christ?

God's Word tells us we are more than conquerors. We get to fight from a place of victory.

Five Years

The first weekend of April five years ago, I really didn't have any idea what I was at the beginning of. I walked into a Set Free weekend with my church (called Encounter God then). 

I wasn't totally sure what to expect, or even why I was actually there. I just knew that without even really thinking about it, I had said yes to a text from the women's ministry leader at my church when she asked if I was planning to go. I had heard a bit about it, but I didn't really know exactly what it was about.

When I look back now, I can't really imagine what things would be like if I hadn't gone. I'm definitely glad I went. Because it's not just about the weekend. It's about tools for living life in relationship with God - for dealing with the stuff that happens.

Probably the biggest thing I can see when I look at what God has done in these five years is the amount of freedom in Christ I've found. For a long time, that was just a nice idea for me. I knew Scripture talked about it, but I had come to the point of thinking that it wasn't going to be reality for me. 

But, now I can say that it is something available to all of us. I've experienced in a way I never thought was possible. And I want to continue living that way and growing in that. As I've learned to deal with the stuff in life and to better hear God's voice when He speaks, I've been able to see a least a small glimpse of what the freedom in Christ talked about in Scripture is.

As another Set Free weekend approaches in a few days, I'm looking forward to it. To see what God has in store for all of us who are there (both attending and serving on the prayer team) this time.

Why is Christmas so Important?

This year has been a bit harder than usual for me to get into the "Christmas spirit." I know it's not about a feeling or anything like that. But it's seemed like I was just doing all the things I usually do at Christmas and they were just things to check off my list - just going through the motions. Almost like I was just tired of doing the same thing every year.

Something was missing. And even my niece's excitement, or her rearranging my nativity set so that everyone is worshiping baby Jesus, "because that's what Christmas is about, auntie," wasn't helping me. To be honest I was tired of it all, and in the midst of my tiredness, I was missing why we were doing this thing.

Then I went to church on Dec 23 - not a Christmas Eve service yet, our regular weekend services. Except it wasn't - at least not for me. Something clicked as we sang the familiar songs, as I listened to the message, as we took communion together. The rest of the story doesn't happen without Christmas.

Sure, God could have found a different way to start His rescue story. But, He didn't. He chose to send His Son to earth to live and die for us. So, the cross and the resurrection started here. The story begins at Christmas with a baby in a manger.

At our Christmas Eve service, I was struck by the words of these familiar songs. We sing them every year, and I know I often have without realizing how they point to the mission of rescue Jesus was on for His life on earth. They speak of the freedom He was coming to bring. Of the healing He is bringing. They speak of the hope that was held in the birth of this child.

And so I'm reminded again of the importance of what we celebrate today. Christmas was the start of God's rescue plan for His creation. We often and easily see the cross and the resurrection as God's rescue plan, but Christmas was where the plan was launched. The birth of the Savior as a baby.

Into the Light

Darkness, silence

Often hand-in-hand

To keep up bound

Fearful of the light

Hiding secrets

Carrying burdens

All to keep us down

Fearful to be found out

Slowly, carefully

Uncovering what's beneath

Will we be okay?

Can we bear the light?

Freedom, healing

Free of fearful hiding

No condemnation

No need to fear the light

Chains broken

Secrets freed

Now life can grow

In the presence of His Light

The Problem with How we Often Approach Modesty Conversations

"Be careful what you wear, you don't want to cause your brothers in Christ to stumble by how you dress."

"Men are visual, so it really matters what you wear."

These are just a couple of examples of the messages about modesty I heard growing up in the church. And often still here today.

Then you look at communicated dress codes: They're almost always much more detailed for women than for men. In some cases, they see to be almost exclusively addressed to women.

And that's wrong. And it's a problem.

Hear me clearly:

I'm not saying that these sentiments are wrong. I'm not saying women shouldn't be aware of how they dress and the impact it may have on others. Those things are part of living in healthy community.

But, we absolutely cannot stop here. We cannot stop with just telling women it's all on them with regards to what the Christian men in their worlds think.

What I am saying:

When our focus when it comes to modesty is almost exclusively focused on women's choice of dress, we're doing exactly what we complain about our society doing to women and speak out against in other settings. In framing our discussions of modesty around only what women wear, we're reducing women to nothing more than sex objects. The very same thing we decry in the society in which we live.

We also marginalize a segment of women. We make it seems like only men are tripped up by what they see. Our silence on men's dress and need for modesty pushes the segment of women who struggle with that they see on the sidelines. Left feeling unacknowledged, unimportant, and completely silenced. Silencing them is the worst part of it, in my opinion, because it means they're left alone in their struggle, feeling like they have no place to reach out for help. Their struggle is invalidated and made to be no big deal.

I've had a few instances where this topic has come up in conversation recently that have fueled this post. In some of the conversations, my thoughts have been listened to and considered, regardless of whether they agree with me. In others, the response has been an almost immediate dismissal with a "yeah, but . . ." It's the second response, the dismissal, that really spurred me to write this post.

When I look at Scripture, I don't see responsibility for another's actions being placed on one group of people, but rather, I see all people being called to responsibility for their own thoughts and actions.

There are a couple of Scriptures, I commonly here in discussions about modesty:

". . . Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister." (Romans 14:13b)

"Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak." (1 Corinthians 8:9)

I have heard both of these verses used as support for the statements I opened this post with. And, while they do apply to that, we can't limit them to a discussion on modesty for women. Taken in the larger context of where these verses are pulled from, Paul is talking about how to live in Christian community. Paul's not even talking about modesty is dress, although the principle can be applied there. But, if we're going to apply it there, we need to be applying to both men and women equally.

We're being unfair if we use it to justify talking to women about how to dress and don't also talk to men about the same thing. Both men and women have a responsibility in this area. And it's important.

In an increasingly sexualized society, we need to have regular and honest conversations about modesty and the implication of how we dress. But, it must be a balanced conversation. We all, men and women, have a responsibility here - both in how we dress and in what we choose to dwell on in our own thoughts.

Finding Freedom

When I cried out

You heard my cry

And You rescued me

You freed me from my chains

You pulled me to my feet

You taught me to walk again

You steadied my unsure legs

As I began to move again

Now I am free to run

To dance and sing and celebrate

Nothing holding me back

Nothing to hold me down

Called to be Free

How do you live free?

What impact does it have on how we live in relationship with others?

"You, my brothers and sisters, were called to live free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command, 'Love your neighbour as yourself.' If you bite and devour one another, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other." (Galatians 5:13-15)

We were called to live free. That's a pretty big thing to try to grasp. In many ways, it's a bit of an abstract concept to try to wrap our brains around. Paul takes the time to teach us what it looks like to live this way, to show us how this means we should live.

Paul knew the importance if how we treat one another. He calls his readers to a radically different way of living than the world around them in these verses as he begins to teach them what it means to live the free life we've been called to.

Paul is calling Christians to humbly serve one another in love, rather than indulge in their own fleshly desires. At a glance, these two things seem unrelated, but I think they're more related than we realize. If we're indulging our own desires, then humbly serving others in love is not going to be something that even crosses our mind.

Most of our fleshly desires are selfish, self-serving, not serving or loving towards others. Paul is reminding his original readers and us about what should be different about us. When we're humbly serving others in love, we're looking for ways to put other people first, to be intentional in our actions toward them. This is impossible to do if we;re using our freedom in Christ to indulge our flesh.

These verses end with a warning about what happens if we choose to bite and devour one another. Treating one another this way is how we destroy each other. It doesn't bring good for us or them; it brings destruction to all involved.

So, to answer the questions I began this post with:

How do you live free?

What impact does it have on how we live in relationship with others?

It all goes back to what Jesus said when He was on earth. We love God with everything we have, and then we love our neighbours as we love ourselves. It's as simple and as difficult as that. The answer is simple, but sometimes living it out is much more difficult.

A Warning about Remaining Free

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." (Galatians 5:1)

The entire book of Galatians is about our freedom in Christ. Paul talks about it over and over again, writing to a church that seemed to be struggling with it.

Theses words in Galatians 5:1 really sum up all of the arguements Paul has been making. He builds the arguement, lays the ground work for this statement, in the first four chapters of Galatians. The last two chapters begin to flesh out the details of what Paul is talking about - practically living our freedom.

This verse stopped me recently. I got stuck on it for a while as I realized more about the implications of it for our lives.

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." (Galatians 5:1)

Christ paid the price for our sins through His death on the cross. He then set us free from the power of sin through His resurrection. We can't earn that freedom. Any attempts to earn it become new forms of slavery in our lives. We have to be intentional about standing firm in our freedom and not letting another form of slavery be put on us.

As I reflected on this verse, I kept coming back to a couple of questions:

-Why do we so easily burden ourselves with a yoke of slavery when we've been set free?
-Why do we struggle do much to live the truly free that Christ has given to us?

I suppose, those are really two sides of the same question: Why was it necessary for Paul to write these words - to his original audience and to us?

I think in our search for the answer we don't need to any further than our flesh nature and the society we live in. These words in Galatians 5:1 go completely against what they tell us. We're told that we have to earn everything - that nothing we receive really comes without strings attached. Even when someone gives us a gift, we struggle to accept it. Sometimes overtly, but more often quietly, we look for a way to repay the giver of a gift.

I think that's why we so easily burden ourselves again with a yoke of slavery. We're really bad at receiving gifts, especially when we don't feel like there was a reason why we earned it. But this freedom that Christ brings us is a gift we can never earn or repay. All we can do is accept it. That's what makes it so beautiful and so difficult all at the same time.

How are you doing with the gift of freedom Christ has given you?
Have you accepted it as a gift?
Or, are you putting yourself in slavery again by trying to find a way to earn it or repay it?

What is Freedom?

What do we mean when we talk about freedom?

Why do we see it as something we should purcuse?

What difference does it make in our lives?

These are questions that have been running though my mind the last few days. Today, April 7, is exactly four years since I left the first Set Free weekend (formerly called Encounter God), I would go to.

I left that weekend feeling like I had been finally freed from so many things. I had. But, I had also just begun a journey. If the freedom found in the moment is actually going to last, then we have to change the way we walk. We have to learn to live differently.

That's what these last four years have been about for me. Learning to live differently. As I look back on them, I would say they've been some of the years and they've been some of the hardest years.

They've been the best because of the intimacy of my relationship with God. That intimacy has made it possible to learn to walk differently. I've learned to better listen for God's voice and of the importance of confession and repentance in the moment I realize I've gotten off course.

They've been some of the hardest years because of some of the things I've walked through personally and with my family. Some of it, I'm still walking through now. And often the best and the hardest times have been at exactly the same time.

I've learned that finding freedom doesn't mean life is instantly difference or easier. And it doesn't necessarily get easier - what changes is how we walk through the hard times. Clinging more tightly to Jesus, rather than trying to fond our own way. The things we thought it was impossible to survive, we not only survive, but come out the other side stronger and in a deeper relationship with God.

In John 8:36 Jesus says, "So if he Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." Jesus is the One who brings us freedom. He declares this purpose of His mission on earth in Luke 4:16-21 when He quoted the prophet Isaiah and stated that this Scripture was fulfilled in the hearing of those present in the synagogue that day. Jesus came to bring freedom. That's why we pursue it, desire it.

It is only through freedom in Christ that we are able to begin to live the life God intended for us. We have to be willing to step into a process of learning to live differently.

As I reflect on four years of being intentionally on this journey, I'm realizing it began long before I went to that first Set Free. But, it became more intentional after I went to a Set Free. It was there that I was introduced to a way of living intentionally differently that was clear. And it's a journey I don't want to stop.

A song by Jeremy Camp was the first song I heard as I drove away from that first weekend, and the lyrics of it have become so fitting - particularly the chorus - of what I want to say and how I want to live.

Free (by Jeremy Camp)

 

And I am free

And I am free

My sin was wrapped around me

Trying to drown me

You have set me free

And I am free

And I am free

The chains that held me tightly

Are finally lifting

You took that weight from me

Now I'm free

Choosing not to Hide

Stepping into the light, she blinked as her eyes adjusted from the darkness. She's spent so much time in the darkness she wasn't used to all this light.

Everyone had told her it would be good, but right now, she just felt vulnerable and exposed. Like all her flaws and scars were on display for everyone to see if they looked her way.

What she didn't realize was that those things she saw as flaws and scars were part of what made her beautiful. They had been healed and forgiven. They were still a part of her; they would always be. But, they were no longer something to be hidden in shame. They had become stories of God's grace, mercy, and love in her life.

The choice was now hers about what she would do with them. She could continue to hide them and never fully realize what God had done. Staying in the dark, where she felt safe . . . but was also lonely.

Or, she could step into the light and let them be seen by others. Let others hear her story of God's redemption in her life. Finding community and experiencing the full power of God's healing of her wounds and brokenness.


I wonder how often we find ourselves in this place. This place where we have a choice to make. We can either take our scars and brokenness and go back into hiding with them. Or, we can choose to let others see them and we allow God to transform our stories of brokenness into stories of redemption and restoration.

The choice is always ours. What choice will you make?

Inviting God into the Doubt

"I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief."

Those are the words of a father who has brought his son to Jesus for healing.

Mark 9:14-29 records the whole story for us. The summary is that Jesus' disciples had tried to cast an impure spirit out of the boy and had been unable to. When Jesus arrives, the boy's father asks Jesus to help them, if He can. Jesus replies to the "if you can" with a reminder that everything is possible for those who believe. The father responds with, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief." Jesus heals his son.

In the middle of this story, we see a father struggling with doubt. Jesus confronts his doubt, but rather than hide or pretend, the father invites Jesus into his doubt in response. He acknowledges his belief and his doubt in one sentence, and asks Jesus for help with his doubt, with his unbelief.

Doubt is more common that we might think. Most people I've talked to have had moments of wondering,of questioning, of not being sure.

The difference has always come in how we respond to it.

Do we stuff it away and pretend it doesn't exist?

Do we beat ourselves up for it?

Or, do we do what the father in this story did, and invite Jesus into it to help us overcome it?

I think this account in Mark's Gospel provides an example of how we should handle these times. How different would our walks with God be if our response in times of doubt of unbelief was, "I believe; help me overcome my unbelief."?

Pretend Perfection No More

Rain cascaded off the edge of the umbrella forming a stream around her as it soaked the ground. She stood un-moving as she debated stepping out from under the protection. Knowing she would be drenched the moment she did so, she wondered if it was worth it to step out.

Memories of the joy of running and playing in the rain as a little child filled her mind. The times she was unafraid to get a little messy and experience the joy of not worrying what she looked like to others.

When had she become do concerned with looking right to others? With people seeing her as someone who had it all together?

The more she thought about it, the more she realized how tired she was from the work it required. Hiding anything that might be even the slightest bit messy from the world around her took a lot of work. She always had to be paying careful attention, making sure there was no crack for what was underneath to show through for even a brief moment.

Who was she really trying to impress? Was it really worth the energy and the time?

She collapsed the umbrella and let the rain our down on her. Eventually she began to walk, then run, then dance. Laughter echoing with the raindrops hitting the ground.

She'd forgotten the freedom of it until now. Worries about looking right and impressing others vanished from her mind. Cares that had been holding her back released their hold. For those moments she was free to be who she was underneath the masks she usually wore.


I wonder if we're more like this than we really want to admit. Even as I wrote it, I realized how often that struggle is mine.

But, I also know there is freedom that comes with dropping the masks and letting what's underneath be seen. There's freedom in stepping into God's cleansing rain in our lives. In letting it wash away our perfectly manicured and presented selves, to show the broken and the mess we've hidden behind it.

Because when we allow God to wash away the facade we've put up, He can reveal a masterpiece that He has built behind. Out of the broken and the mess of our lives God creates something far more beautiful than our pretend perfection ever was.

Will you step out from under the umbrella? Will you allow the rain to wash away your pretend perfection to reveal God's beautiful work?

Never Too Far Gone

If you haven't noticed by now, I've been spending time in the Gospel of Mark lately. I have no idea how many posts will come from this, but right now this is what God is teaching me, And that's what I write about.

Mark 5:1-20 is an account of Jesus restoring a demon-possessed man. A man with a legion of impure spirits who control him. He lives among the tombs. And nothing can control him.

I've read this so many times it can become easy for it to just become normal. Except it was anything but normal to those who witnessed it.

First, the impure spirits in this man know who Jesus is and identify Him. Then, to free the man from them, Jesus sends these impure spirits into a herd of pigs who run off the hillside and drown in the lake. When news gets back to the town about this, they come and see the man Jesus had driven the spirits out of sitting before Jesus, clothed and in his right mind.

What would the disciples have thought while they witnessed all of this?

What would the town people have thought when they arrived and saw the change in the man? What about it made them afraid (Mark 5:15)?

The more I reflect on this, the more I realize just how powerful Jesus is. He can change any life, no matter how far gone we may think it is. It's never too far gone for Jesus.

I'm sure most people had written off this man. They saw him as too far gone. Deemed him to be someone no one could help.

But not Jesus. Jesus saw someone who needed help. Someone He could help. Someone He could free. And, most importantly, He had the power to do it.

Someone may be beyond our ability, as humans, to help, but they are never beyond God's. No person is ever too far gone for Jesus to rescue and free them.

Our job, when feel like someone is too far gone, is to pray for them. To bring them to Jesus, so He can do the work.

No Room for Pride

In my Bible Galatians 6:1-6 has been given the heading "Doing Good to All." Paul seems to put together a series of verses that each stand alone in this section. They speak of different aspects of how we should do good to others.

"Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load. Nevertheless, the one who receives instruction in the word should share all goo things with their instructor."

These verses are full of things we should do as the family of God.

As I was reflecting on this passage, I realized there is one key to doing any of these things . . .

Humility.

Without it, any attempt at these things will come across as wrong and could do more harm than good. There's no room for pride in these.

It take humility to gently restore someone caught in sin. In our pride, we might point out sin in someone's life. But we can only restore them if we come to them in  humility - with love and a desire to see them freed from that sin.

Our pride would keep us from admitting we could be tempted to sin as come alongside someone to restore them. It would cause us to see ourselves as better than that. Humility allows us to admit our own weakness and susceptibility to sin.

Pride says we have to carry our own burdens without help from anyone else. Humility gives us the ability to ask for help when it's too much for us alone. It gives us freedom to live in caring community with others.

Pride infaltes our view of ourselves. It deceives us. Our pride will compare us to others and see ourselves as better than. Humility looks at ourselves through God's eyes and see His view. Instead of comparing to others, we ourselves through God's eyes.

Our pride will limit who we are able to learn from. If we are teachers, our pride will interfere with our ability to learn from those we teach. Humility means we can learn from anyone God wants to use to teach us.

Pride will also keep up from sharing what we've learned in a way that blesses others. We will speak down to others when we explain it. When we share it with humility, we share our excitement and love for the truth with others, not just our knowledge.

If we're going to live the way God intended for His family on earth to operate, we have to learn to live in humility. There's no room for pride. We have to learn to identify those areas where pride has gotten in the way and confess them to God so He can free us from them. As we learn to live in humility with each other, we catch a glimpse of what God intended for us.

One Deadly Thing we do Too Much

Comparison kills.

It kills . . . friendships.
            . . . ministry opportunities.
            . . . joy.
            . . . satisfaction.
            . . . our relationship with God.

I was reminded of the deadly role of comparison recently. It didn't seem like it was a big deal. It was just a passing thought. But, a few hours later, I realized that momentary thought was having a deadly impact on my ministry in this situation.

As I sat with a group of people praying together, the thought crossed my mind that the other people in the group seemed to pray more eloquently and with more smoothly flowing words than me. I quickly dismissed the thought as being ridiculous - I mean, why would anyone compare that?

It wasn't until a few hours later that I realized the impact of that passing thought. I didn't pray much in that group after I made that comparison. Even a fleeting comparison of my prayers to others' prayers had killed that time of engaging in prayer ministry in that situation. And, if I'd left it undealt with would have eventually killed any prayer ministry opportunities in the future.

Comparison is an insidious plan from Satan to kill what God wants to do in and through us. In the moment it seems harmless. We think nothing of it. We often miss the impact it has on us until later.

Comparison keeps us held back in fear. We're not good enough. We'll never do it as well as someone else. Comparison leaves us cowering in a corner trying to protect ourselves, rather than living the life God wants us to live.

John 10:10 says, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full." Satan is the thief that comes to steal, kill, and destroy. Comparison is one of the tools he uses to do this. It's an effective tool in his arsenal because it can seem harmless in the moment.

Jesus offers us life - an abundant life - if we choose to follow Him. He invites us into a life we couldn't imagine on our own. We have to step out and trust that He is with us in it - that He will never fail or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). Even when comparison would kill us, when we're facing our own insecurities about how to do something, we choose to trust God and go with Him.

I fight each day against falling to the comparison game that always leaves me wanting. It kept me from doing what God asked me to do for far too long. Now that I know what comes when I don't give in to comparison, I don't want to do back. But, it's still a choice I make daily and I still have to deal with moments when I give in to the comparison game again.

The difference comes when we choose to go to God with it when we begin to make those comparisons. Instead of giving into the fear, the need to protect ourselves, the death that comes with comparison, we need to seek God's perspective on the matter.

When I realized the comparison I had made was having a negative impact on things, I instead asked God for His perspective on what He was seeing there. I asked Him how He saw me in that setting. As my perspective changed, I realized that it's not eloquent or smoothly flowing words that make prayers effective, it's the heart behind them. And that meant my comparison was worthless and an attempt by Satan to steal, kill, and destroy in my life.

Then I had a choice to make. I could continue to believe the lie that came from the comparison, or I could choose to believe God and see things from His perspective. But, I had to choose. I couldn't be passive about it. I had to make a choice and act from that point.

We all have that choice when we realize we've gotten caught in the comparison trap. We can stay there and allow that comparison to kill. Or, we can ask God for His perspective and change our view on the situation. What will you choose to do?