Grief & Anniversaries

 I've been thinking about how we handle grief in our society a lot recently. 

Or, as I sometimes wonder . . . how we misunderstand & mishandle grief.

It's been a topic coming up a lot as I approach an anniversary I never expected to have. It's just a couple days away from one year since I lost my job.

I hadn't thought much about it until a about month ago. I noticed that as I looked at the calendar for May I had no desire to plan anything. Even getting organized for things I usually look forward to just didn't motivate me to do anything.

It wasn't until I actually really looked at the date on the calendar in the middle of May that I realized what was going on. Even though I wasn't conscious of it at first, my body was remembering the events of a year ago.

Even after I realized this, I was still confused about why I was responding like this. After going back to some of the resources that helped me at the time & asking my counsellor, I started to see how my surprise & confusion over all of this stems from our misunderstanding & mishandling of grief.

We tend to associate grief with the death of someone we loved. And that's a time where grief is accepted & expected. We make space for it. And we should. We all for the anniversary of it to be hard again.

But, as I've written before, that's far from the only time we experience grief. It comes any time we a experience a loss - no matter how big or small. And we need to make space for all that comes with that - when it happens & when anniversaries & reminders occur that bring up the feeling again.

For me, that's meant acknowledging that it's hard to be motivated to do much right now. Giving myself grace for just sitting at home sometimes. But, also still getting out with people & doing things.

And letting people in my life know what's going on.

As I've shared this, I was reminded of how we don't handle this well. Many people seemed to be genuinely surprised that I would be struggling right now. Because I'm generally okay these days & don't talk about it much, it sometimes felt like people expected it to not affect me anymore.

I don't fault them for it. That's what we've been taught in our society. Grief happens when something happens & then it's done.

But, I've learned through this experience & the loss of my Grandma a few years ago, that grief comes in cycles. And, just because the feelings of sadness or anger over the loss come up again doesn't necessarily mean there's more to process or work through. 

It's all part of a journey that isn't linear. We don't move through the "stages of grief" in an order or a set timeframe. And there are things that will remind us of the loss & we'll feel it again for a bit.

What we actually need to do is learn to allow ourselves to feel the feelings. To acknowledge it. To not run from it.

We move through it. And, often, we just need to feel it - not try to solve it.

The Problem of 90s Purity Culture

 If you grew up in church youth groups in the 90s, then the title of this post tells you a lot what I'm going to talk about today. But, for those of you who don't know, I'll start with a bit of a summary.

The 90s was when the "True Love Waits" movement. complete with signing pledge cards and purity rings was in full swing. While the message of what the Bible says about how we should love with our sexuality was well-intentioned, it was carried to an extreme that caused harm and hurt to a lot of those who grew up in it.

As part of trying to get teenagers to understand what happens when you go outside of God's plan for our sexuality, the example of pulling tape apart after you stuck it together was often use. While it is true that God has good reason for the way He instructs us to handle our sexuality in Scripture, and we can live with the consequences of our choices, that example was harmful. In many cases, it left those listening feeling like they were forever damaged and unforgivable for things they had done.

Even for those who didn't cross those lines, there was hard, although it may not have been as immediately visible until into our adult years. In all the purity culture teaching of the 90s, there was an implication that if you follow God's plan for your sexuality as a teenager, God would reward you with marriage in your early twenties and great sex in your marriage. Neither of which were a guarantee or a reality for many.

What this purity culture teaching did was create a generation of people who were brought up afraid of experiencing God's judgement. And forever wondering if you've been good enough in this area. We keep quiet about our struggles in this area out of shame and fear of judgement.

And, if we haven't stayed on the path we were taught in youth group, we struggle to believe we can be forgiven for it. We live in defeat, condemnation, and judgement of ourselves.

The only way to bring healing to the spiritual trauma in this area for many of us is to acknowledge the pain, bring it out of the secret places, and let it be witnessed. Exactly what I've written about in previous posts on the topic of spiritual trauma.

But bring this into the open isn't easy when the teaching is ingrained in you causes shame if you've stumbled or struggled in this area. There's shame and a stigma that carries over. Speaking up and sharing personally, if at all, often comes in mumbled admissions, faltering words. And how others respond can begin the healing journey or further the wounding.

"Love Me Till I'm Me Again"

 "Love me till I'm me again"

Those words are on the wall of of a coffee shop I like to spend time in reading and writing. I see them regularly and I've pondered them from time to time.

In the last few weeks I've thought about them a lot more. I realize how much we need people who do that.

"Love me till I'm me again"

The life will bring things our way that knock us off our feet. Everything feels unstable, unsure. We're facing an unknown. In many ways we've all been living that the last few years.

When this happens, we might not feel like our usual self.

And we need people who stick with us through it. Who keep loving us. Who keep showing up for us. We need people who will love us until we're ourselves again. People who will be patient with us. People who don't walk away because we're struggling.

We Can't Do It Alone

 You can do it alone. 

You don't need anyone else. 

You everything you need to do what you want.

We hear things like this all the time. And mostly we believe them.

But, what if I told you these were lies?

The truth is:

We need each other. We can't do it alone.

I've written quite a bit about community and our need for people to walk through the good and the hard of life with. I keep coming back to it because it's so important and it goes against everything society tells us.

I think it's an even more important topic of discussion now. After the last couple of years where we were told to stay apart, we've become even better at trying to do it all on our own. We've drawn lines around ourselves in the things we believe and if someone doesn't completely agree with us, we push them away.

But, we're in a worse place because of it. We're paying a huge price because of it.

God created us to need each other as we walk through life. We don't have what we need for everything all on our own. Sometimes we need someone to be strong for us and carry us through. Sometimes we need to be strong for someone and carry them through. Sometimes no one will be strong and we just to know we have someone else who knows the struggle to stumble through it all with.

I was reminded of how important being together and how healing it is a week and a half ago. We were finally able to gather and have a Celebration of Life for my Grandma, after almost 11 months of waiting. As the family and close friends began to arrive, there were two thoughts in my head. The first was how good it was to see everyone and be together. The second was how something that used to feel so normal now felt strange. After a couple years of not being able to be together, it felt strange.

As we remembered, shared, talked, cried, and laughed together, something that happened that hadn't yet. Although we'd all said our goodbyes to my Grandma in some way over the last 11 months, there was something about saying goodbye together that we needed.

As I looked at the tables full of family, I knew this was a group that has laughed and enjoyed time together. But, also strongly disagreed and fought with each other over the years. That's what community is though, and you choose to stay together anyways. You love each other and show up for each other. You fight and you disagree with each other and you still show up for each other and love each other.

This is how we were created to live life. And we need to learn how to do it better again. It will take work. It will take intentionality.

But, we don't have a choice if we're going to live the lives God created us to live.

It May be Late, But it's Still Important

 It's been 10 - 1/2 months since my Grandma passed away. As I write this, we're close to having a Celebration of Life for her. The time has come when we can do this finally - after months of not being able to have it.

It started with a conversation about whether we should still do it. Had it been too long? Do we need to? Would people still come? Or had everyone moved past that?

In the end, we decided it was still important and something we should go. After 10 - 1/2 months of saying good-bye, mostly alone or with our closest family members, it's time to gather as those who loved my Grandma - family and friends - to say good-bye together. To remember my Grandma for who she was and how she touched our lives.

While the planning and preparation has brought the sadness and pain over losing her to the surface again, I feel like it's also made me realize how important those things are. God created us to walk through everything in life together and we had missed this part of the journey so far.

It's made me reflect on how many things like this we've missed over the last couple years. And how much we need to make time for them now. Not just the good-byes, the funerals, we've missed. But, also the milestone celebrations, the weddings, the parties. They're important and we need to acknowledge them.

So many things feel incomplete, or missing. All that has gone in our world in the last couple years, has left us with so much missed. And we need to make the space for these things... even if it feels like it's a bit late compared to when we normally would.

As I've been preparing what I will share about my Grandma, about memories of her, I've found it to be another step on the grief journey. A journey I thought would be much shorter than it actually is. And, honestly, I'm looking forward to gathering with family and friends of my grandparents, many I've known for much of my life. A chance to remember someone deeply loved and missed by many.

So, my question to you today . . . what have you missed in the last couple of years that you need to plan for now?

When it Feels Like Your Prayer Isn't Being Answered

 Have you ever prayed for God to move in a situation only to feel like God didn't answer?

Have you ever asked God to heal someone and it seems like that healing doesn't come?

I'd say we can probably all answer yes to these questions. And answering yes, sometimes makes it hard to be bold enough to ask for anything else in our prayers.

But, what if I told you that God has answered those prayers you've prayed. 

How do you react to that? Does it bring you relief? Or do you have a list of situations where you're sure God didn't answer come immediately to mind?

If you can, put those objections to the side for a few minutes. Ask yourself these questions:

When I prayed, did I ask for God to work His will or did I pray that He would do exactly what I wanted, the way I wanted Him to do it?

Did I look for God to answer only exactly the way I thought He would? Or did I ask for evidence of Him at work?

This doesn't mean we don't pray bold prayers. It doesn't mean we don't ask God to heal people. But, we also keep ourselves open to God answering in ways we didn't expect.

We have a discussion about this at a Bible study I'm part of recently. We'd all had times when we prayed for God to do something only He could do and it felt like He hadn't answered. But, when we really started talking about at least some of the those times, we could see that God did work. It just didn't look exactly like we thought it should.

So, what happens then? How do we reconcile this with what Scripture says?

Jesus tells us to ask and He says that He will respond.

Matthew 7:7-11 says:

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks the door will be opened.

Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will you Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!"

It would be easy to read these verses and decide that God just gives us what we ask for exactly how we want it. And, while we often wouldn't say it out loud, we think this way and it's what leads to the disappointment when we feel like our prayers aren't being answered.

But, when we make that assumption, we miss something about what Jesus is saying here - something important.

Jesus is saying that the gifts God gives are good - often better than we imagine.

But, when we've decided how the answer to our prayer should look, we may miss out on how God is answering it - in His much better way. God's much better way may look different than what we would consider an answer. And we can miss it if we're only looking for a specific answer.

A few years ago, in a podcast I was listening to, I heard someone say, "God always answers our prayers for healing." They paused here for effect... and I got annoyed. They went on to say, "Sometimes that healing comes on earth and sometimes it doesn't come until the person needing healing is in heaven." We don't like that idea. We want the healing now. We want the family member, friend, restored. We don't want to lose them. But, there's truth to that. Healing on earth may not look like we expect, but it will be God's better plan.

I've been wrestling with this a lot recently. I have a few prayers that I have been praying for a while - some for a year, some for years longer than that - and it doesn't seem like God is answering them. But, when I became intentional about looking for how God might be working in ways I didn't expect, I began to see things I didn't see before. I saw how God was working. I may not see the results I want, but I can trust God that He is working. And that gives me boldness to keep praying those prayers.

So, where do you need to let go of your picture of what an answer to your prayer should look like and instead look for the ways God might be moving instead?

Lessons in Looking Back

 I posted the following as my Facebook status last week:

"Sometimes just knowing there's a name for what you're living with is a relief... even if it changes nothing, yet (before you ask, it's nothing serious going on, don't worry)"

While I'm not going to share in this space what exactly this is (at least not yet), there have been things related to it that I've been thinking about in the days since. And I wonder if some of those things are lessons that all of us could learn from.

When we have the perspective of looking back, as I have in this case, it can be easy to see some things as obvious that were missed at the time. We have a choice then, about how we respond. 

We can choose to get mad or frustrated or upset by the realization.

Or, we can acknowledge that our perspective is different now and we're seeing differently because we're not in the middle of it anymore.

Some of my favourite books on my shelf right now are the mismatched set of commentaries, my Grandma gave me when she could no longer read herself. I had no idea the treasure trove of lessons from my Grandma I was receiving alongside them. They just sat on my bookshelf for a while. Until the day I decided to pick one of them up. When I opened it, I discovered it was full of my Grandma's underlines of things that spoke to her and pieces of paper with her responses to what she read there.

One of the things I noticed over and over in what I read both in the commentary and in her notes, was her realization and desire not to live stuck in the past. To her it was very clear in Scripture that Jesus had come and died on a cross and rose again to free us from our past, so we can begin to live the lives God intends for us. 

She would regularly remind me of this in our conversations on the golf course. Every time I would start talking about something in the past, she would ask me the same things:

Are there people in this situation you need to make things right with? Don't wait to do that.

Are there things you need to confess and repent of? Don't wait to do that.

Are there lessons you can learn from this? What are they?

Once you've done these things, does it do you any good to keep living in regret or anger over what has happened? 

Then she would remind me that it was time let it go. That it was time to leave it with God and walk forward into what was coming next.

She would share about how she didn't always do this well. She wasn't telling me to do this because she thought it was easy. She knew it was challenging, but she also knew it was worth it.

I've been thinking a lot about this lesson since I shared the words I did on Facebook last week. In my case, this is something where I could look back and live in regret or anger, but it really does no good at this point. That just keeps me stuck in the past and not getting on with living the life God has for me now.

I think is something that applies to so much of our lives. And I'm grateful for the regular reminders from my Grandma while I was growing up.

Acknowledging the Loss

 You've probably heard it referenced a lot. People talking about the losses of this pandemic. And there have been many for many of us.

Maybe we're tired of hearing about it.

Maybe we're not sure what we're experienced qualifies.

Maybe we just don't know what to think.

Maybe we would rather just ignore it all.

Tomorrow is my birthday.

Not one of those years we usually make a bigger deal of. But still my birthday.

For the last few weeks, my sister has been asking me what I want to do for my birthday. I've likely frustrated her with my lack of answers.

No patio I wanted to have supper on.

No takeout I wanted to pick up.

No food I wanted to make for supper together.

No activity I wanted to do.

Just nothing.

I've never been on to plan things for my birthday. I've done nothing for more of them than I can count. It's just never really been a big deal to me.

But this year, something was bothering me as my birthday drew near. And it made me want to just pretend it wasn't happening at all.

It took me a few weeks to figure out what was going on. What was bothering me was that I couldn't have a few friends over to my house, that I couldn't go out for a dinner or dessert with a group of friends.

And it had nothing to do with whether I actually would this time.

It was about not having the choice - for the second year in a row.

But, it was about more than that too. It was a realization of how long it's been since I could just be with my friends sharing food and games and laughter.

It reminded me of something I read a couple months ago. The article (that I can't find now) was talking about grief over the losses of the last year. Yes, the losses to death, the losses of jobs and security. But, not just those losses. The losses of the seemingly smaller things that are still important to us.

When I first read the article, I wasn't sure I agreed, so I just left it and didn't think much about it. Until the last couple days. Until I realized I was dealing with a loss. A different kind of loss than the ones we usually associated with grief, but a loss nonetheless.

We can probably all name some of those losses in the last year. And it can be easy to minimize them because they don't seem as big as someone else's loss. But that doesn't help us. We can't compare our losses to other's losses.

Whatever the loss we're dealing with, we need to acknowledge it for what it is. Allow ourselves to deal with the emotions that come from the loss. Take if to Jesus and let Him meet us in it.

Then we can begin to walk again.

So, tonight, I acknowledge the loss I'm feeling of that opportunity to be with my friends on my birthday or just a regular Saturday night games' night. It's been a long time. And those nights were important in many ways.

And tomorrow, I'll celebrate my birthday with the people I can be with. Thankful for what I do still have, even in the midst of the loss I feel.

It may not be what I wish it could be. And it still hurts. But something does change when it's acknowledged. Spoken out loud. Shared with somebody.

So tonight I leave you with some questions. Questions I've been wrestling with the last few days.

What loss are you feeling? No matter how small you think it is, it's still a loss. And it's not about comparing it to others.

Have you acknowledged it and taken it to Jesus?

Stop Hiding

We all have things we do that we want to keep secret. We don't want anyone else to find out about them. We'll do whatever we can to keep them hidden away.

But, what if, in doing this, we miss out on what God has for us? What if we're missing out on all that God wants to do?

A Bible teacher I was listening to recently shared a quote from a book she was reading that really stuck with me. I looked up the book only to discover it's out of print, so getting it for myself is a bit more challenging, but the quote is still worth thinking about.

"Whatever I cover up with I'm left with but what I open up receives not only the revealing of God but the healing of God." (Reuben Welch, We Really Do Need Each Other)

In these words, Welch challenges us on why we keep things hidden and covered up. We think we're making a good choice when we do that. We think we're doing what is best. But, we're missing out on something greater that comes with making a choice to stop hiding it.

When we allow God to expose those hidden things, He is able to bring His healing into our lives. We experience healing when we allow God to reveal what we would rather keep hidden.

It's scary to do that. We feel exposed. But, the truth is, God already knows it anyways. And if other people find out in the process, that can also be part of God's plan for our healing.

What are you hiding? What are you covering up?

Are you willing to reveal it God, and maybe to others, to experience God's healing in that area of your life?

A Life-Changing Encounter with Jesus

What would it look like for you to ask Jesus for what you wanted and needed unashamed of your request and undeterred by what those around you say?

What are you missing out on from Jesus because you've allowed other to silence your request?

These are two questions I was left wrestling with after reading of Jesus restoring sight to a blind beggar in Luke 18:35-43. There was a blind beggar sitting by the roadside when he heard that Jesus was passing by. The blind man cried out for Jesus to have mercy on hi. People rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he continued to call out to Jesus. Jesus stopped and asked what he wanted. Jesus then restored the sight of the blind man and he began to follow Jesus.

This blind man, whose name isn't given, knew what he needed and he knew Jesus could bring it. When he had the opportunity he cried out to Jesus for it. Even when others tried to get him to be quiet, he kept asking. And the result was getting what he asked for. The result was a life-changing encounter with Jesus.

The blind man received his sight because he refused to let others silence him. He continued to make his request for mercy known and it resulted in a life-changing encounter with Jesus.

What life-changing encounter with Jesus are you missing out on because you've allowed others to silence you request?

It's a sobering question to reflect on. Not to cause us regret, but to challenge us to stop listening to those who try to silence us.

Will you start asking Jesus again for the request you have that others have silenced?

Why is Christmas so Important?

This year has been a bit harder than usual for me to get into the "Christmas spirit." I know it's not about a feeling or anything like that. But it's seemed like I was just doing all the things I usually do at Christmas and they were just things to check off my list - just going through the motions. Almost like I was just tired of doing the same thing every year.

Something was missing. And even my niece's excitement, or her rearranging my nativity set so that everyone is worshiping baby Jesus, "because that's what Christmas is about, auntie," wasn't helping me. To be honest I was tired of it all, and in the midst of my tiredness, I was missing why we were doing this thing.

Then I went to church on Dec 23 - not a Christmas Eve service yet, our regular weekend services. Except it wasn't - at least not for me. Something clicked as we sang the familiar songs, as I listened to the message, as we took communion together. The rest of the story doesn't happen without Christmas.

Sure, God could have found a different way to start His rescue story. But, He didn't. He chose to send His Son to earth to live and die for us. So, the cross and the resurrection started here. The story begins at Christmas with a baby in a manger.

At our Christmas Eve service, I was struck by the words of these familiar songs. We sing them every year, and I know I often have without realizing how they point to the mission of rescue Jesus was on for His life on earth. They speak of the freedom He was coming to bring. Of the healing He is bringing. They speak of the hope that was held in the birth of this child.

And so I'm reminded again of the importance of what we celebrate today. Christmas was the start of God's rescue plan for His creation. We often and easily see the cross and the resurrection as God's rescue plan, but Christmas was where the plan was launched. The birth of the Savior as a baby.

Into the Light

Darkness, silence

Often hand-in-hand

To keep up bound

Fearful of the light

Hiding secrets

Carrying burdens

All to keep us down

Fearful to be found out

Slowly, carefully

Uncovering what's beneath

Will we be okay?

Can we bear the light?

Freedom, healing

Free of fearful hiding

No condemnation

No need to fear the light

Chains broken

Secrets freed

Now life can grow

In the presence of His Light

Maybe Healing Looks Different Sometimes

I read an article recently that made me think. It related to a very personal experience for me. One I haven't spoken about directly in this format before . . . or really spoken about much to more than a small group of people in my life.

When you live with anxiety, it's not usually a topic of regular discussion. There really seems to be some deep misunderstandings about what it actually means for the person living with it. And, like the article I read says, some of the things that are said by others or suggestions of how to solve the problem are far from helpful. And they assume things that aren't true.

For a while, I've been thinking about what it might actually mean for God to heal someone, and I've been wondering if our definition of healing might be too narrow. We tend to see healing as only having happened if we're completely free of whatever it was we asked God to heal us or another person of. But, what if that's not all it is?

What if healing sometimes means being able to live what most would call a "normal life" while still living with something such as anxiety? What if healing means learning how to live the life God has for you while still having the struggle?

I think that sometimes, it's when we live with the ongoing struggle, but still live life to the full that we're actually living more of the life God created us to live. It makes us more dependent on God to get through each day.

And we need to learn to see this as God healing, as much as being permanently freed from something. Yes, that is what healing can be. But, what if healing also looks like learning to live a life where you're not held back by something like anxiety? It doesn't mean we never have moments of battling with it, but it means we learn to manage it and to deal with it properly in the moments when it begins to rise again.

This doesn't mean we don't pray for complete healing of something. It doesn't mean we don't desire to be completely freed from it. But, sometimes on this side of eternity, we're not going to see things completely made right because we live in a broken world.

Exposing what Hides in Darkness

"This is the message we have heard from Him and declare to you: God is Light; in Him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, purifies us from all sin.
If we claim to be without sine, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
                                                                                                            1 John 1:5-9

Fear hides in darkness.

Fear causes us to hide in darkness.

We don't want what we've tried to keep hidden in darkness to be brought into the Light.

This means we don't let God in, because He is Light.

Because God is Light, He exposes what we try to keep hidden in darkness.

Sometimes we only allow Light into part of the space. We'll allow the Light to shine on the places we feel we've had time to clean up a bit.

We think by doing so we're walking in the Light, but there is still a darkness beyond the entryway. We've been confused by the enemy to think that doesn't matter, and the he uses it to gain back ground in the areas we've begun to let the Light into.

In these times, we think we're walking in the Light as long as we're facing the door so we can't see the darkness behind us. We're lying about walking in the Light, because the enemy has confused us.

We have to make the choice to let the Light go beyond the door and the immediate area we feel like we can keep somewhat in order in our own strength.

We live with a fear of what will be exposed if we allow the Light to come completely in and dispel the darkness. What we see in the shadows of the Light we've allowed in only so far scares us and we feel like it would be better if we just leave those places untouched and in the dark. But, Jesus wants to expose those places to the Light so the good work He has begun in us can be finished.

These verses in 1 John speak of exactly that. Our need to admit our darkness and let the Light in. The process of taking that first step may be full of fear and anxiety, but once we actually let the Light in, we'll never regret it.

That first step is confessing our sin, our darkness. God gives us forgiveness and purifies us from our sin. He removes the darkness by flooding that place with His Light. Darkness cannot continue to exist when the Light comes.

As much as we might wish this was a one time thing, it's something we must do continually, as we easily forget and turn out the Light in areas of our lives. We also have an enemy who is diligently looking for any way he can get in and turn out the Light on us.

We need to continually invite God's Light in to expose what's been hidden in darkness. And then be willing to confess what is exposed. That is the only way we can walk in the Light that brings fellowship with God.

Inviting God into the Doubt

"I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief."

Those are the words of a father who has brought his son to Jesus for healing.

Mark 9:14-29 records the whole story for us. The summary is that Jesus' disciples had tried to cast an impure spirit out of the boy and had been unable to. When Jesus arrives, the boy's father asks Jesus to help them, if He can. Jesus replies to the "if you can" with a reminder that everything is possible for those who believe. The father responds with, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief." Jesus heals his son.

In the middle of this story, we see a father struggling with doubt. Jesus confronts his doubt, but rather than hide or pretend, the father invites Jesus into his doubt in response. He acknowledges his belief and his doubt in one sentence, and asks Jesus for help with his doubt, with his unbelief.

Doubt is more common that we might think. Most people I've talked to have had moments of wondering,of questioning, of not being sure.

The difference has always come in how we respond to it.

Do we stuff it away and pretend it doesn't exist?

Do we beat ourselves up for it?

Or, do we do what the father in this story did, and invite Jesus into it to help us overcome it?

I think this account in Mark's Gospel provides an example of how we should handle these times. How different would our walks with God be if our response in times of doubt of unbelief was, "I believe; help me overcome my unbelief."?

Our Part to Play

Once we've made our bold ask of Jesus, do we have a part to play? Do we need to continue to act on our faith? Or do we just get to sit back and wait now?

In the last post we looked at the first part of Mark 5:21-43. Today, I want to look at the rest of the passage. (You can click here to read the passage.) The continuation of the story - the results of their bold asks for healing.

The woman had to trust Jesus enough to be found out - to be exposed. She had to acknowledge it was her who touched His cloak and share her story of why. Not to be healed - that part happened the moment she touched Jesus' cloak. But, to be able to fully walk our her healing and live the new life it brought for her.

Jairus had to believe Jesus enough to believe it possible, even when it didn't seem possible for his daughter to be healed now. He received word  his daughter had died, so now he had to believe Jesus could bring her back to life, not just heal her from sickness.

In both cases, people were bold enough to ask in the first place, but then they had a part to play in walking it out. Receiving the full healing they were asking for required them to act in faith. It wasn't passive.

I wonder if this is something we often miss in our prayers for healing. We think we just ask and then sit back and wait. God may do it instantly and not require anything from us sometimes. But, what if there's more to it than that? What if God wants us to step out in obedience? What if the way we'll see the healing is to walk it out?

Both Jairus and the woman had a choice to make. They both played a part in experiencing the fullness of healing they asked Jesus for.

Jairus had to choose to continue to believe that Jesus could still heal his daughter. Even when it no longer seemed possible.

The woman was healed of her physical illness the moment she touched Jesus' cloak. She could have been satisfied with that. When Jesus stopped and asked who had touched His cloak, she could have kept quiet and just slipped away into the crowd.

She still would have gone away physically healed, but I don't think she would have experienced the social, emotional, and mental healing she experienced by coming forward and telling Jesus the whole truth of her situation. In sharing her story and allowing Jesus to speak to the shame, fear, and worthlessness she had also carried, she was freed to completely walk in her healing.

When we miss the part of the healing that requires us to walk in it, I think we miss the fullness of what it could be for us. We don't receive the complete healing God wants to give us.

What healing have you asked God for? Is He asking you to do something to begin to walk it out and experience the complete healing He wants to give?

Faith to Boldly Ask

Will you break the social rules to ask Jesus for healing?

Will you risk it all to ask Jesus for what you need most?

Mark 5:21-43 records the stories of two people who could say yes to those questions. It's what they did.

Usually I read this whole passage together, but today I want to focus on just the first eight verses. We'll look at the rest in the next post.

Mark 5:21-29 says:

When Jesus had again crossed over by boat to the other side of the lake, a large crowd gathered around Him while He was by the lake. Then one of the synagogue leaders, named Jairus, came, and when he sawJeus, he fell at His feet. He pleaded earnestly with Him, "My little daughter is dying. Please come and put your hands on her so that she will live." So Jesus when with him.
A large crowd followed and pressed around Him. And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind Him in the crowd and touched His cloak, because she thought, "If I just touch His clothes, I will be healed." Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.

I'm struck by the faith of both of these people. From completely opposite places in the Jewish social system. But, both had a faith that resulted in them taking bold action.

Jairus, a synagogue leader, came to Jesus and asked Him to heal his daughter. A member of the religious elite in Israel had a faith in Jesus that was stronger than what anyone else was saying about Jesus. Jairus believed Jesus could heal his daughter and he boldly asked Jesus to.

The woman who had been bleeding for twelve years and was a social outcast because of it, believed that if she could just touch the hem of Jesus' cloak she would be healed. She risked public shame and scorn to get to Jesus for healing.

The faith example of both of these people is challenging. They risked it all for their bold ask of Jesus. Their faith was enough to push past what anyone else might think of them, just to get to Jesus.

Are we like this in our faith?

Are we willing to risk our reputations to get to Jesus?

Are we allowing anything to hinder our running to Jesus with our own bold ask?

Never Too Far Gone

If you haven't noticed by now, I've been spending time in the Gospel of Mark lately. I have no idea how many posts will come from this, but right now this is what God is teaching me, And that's what I write about.

Mark 5:1-20 is an account of Jesus restoring a demon-possessed man. A man with a legion of impure spirits who control him. He lives among the tombs. And nothing can control him.

I've read this so many times it can become easy for it to just become normal. Except it was anything but normal to those who witnessed it.

First, the impure spirits in this man know who Jesus is and identify Him. Then, to free the man from them, Jesus sends these impure spirits into a herd of pigs who run off the hillside and drown in the lake. When news gets back to the town about this, they come and see the man Jesus had driven the spirits out of sitting before Jesus, clothed and in his right mind.

What would the disciples have thought while they witnessed all of this?

What would the town people have thought when they arrived and saw the change in the man? What about it made them afraid (Mark 5:15)?

The more I reflect on this, the more I realize just how powerful Jesus is. He can change any life, no matter how far gone we may think it is. It's never too far gone for Jesus.

I'm sure most people had written off this man. They saw him as too far gone. Deemed him to be someone no one could help.

But not Jesus. Jesus saw someone who needed help. Someone He could help. Someone He could free. And, most importantly, He had the power to do it.

Someone may be beyond our ability, as humans, to help, but they are never beyond God's. No person is ever too far gone for Jesus to rescue and free them.

Our job, when feel like someone is too far gone, is to pray for them. To bring them to Jesus, so He can do the work.

What about When Life is Hard?

Life is hard.

There really isn't any other way to put it.

More often than we want it to be true, the truth is that it's hard.

Whether it's personal stuff, or family stuff, or work stuff, or ministry stuff, or things we see happening in the world around us . . . it's hard.

And, even if we try to, we can't hide from it. We can do and try many things to run from the hard stuff of life, but it won't work. The hard stuff will go with us. And we may even make it worse by trying to run and hide from it.

So, now that I've had that slightly depressing start to this . . .

What do we do when life is hard? If we can't avoid that life will be hard, what options to do we have to get through it?

What comes next might seem like the standard Christian answer to that question, but I've realized in the last nine months that it really is what we need to do when life is hard and we're not sure how we'll get through it.

What do we do when life is hard? We take the hard stuff to God. Ask Him to work in it. Give Him control of it. Surrender. Allow God into it.

But that's a lot more difficult to actually do then it is for me to write it.

This is exactly what Scripture tells us we should do. Philippian 4:6-7 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." When we take the hard stuff in life to God, He replaces the worry about it with His peace. The hard situation may not change, but our ability to get through it well does, because we're not trying to do it ourselves anymore.

In 1 Peter 5:7 it says, "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." We can take our worries over the hard stuff in life to God because He cares. He cares what we're going through. He cares when we're struggling through hard times. He cares about what we're worried about or struggling with.

Sometimes when it's hard, it's a choice to continually take the issue to God. Every time we become aware that we've taken it back, whatever it is, we give it to God again. Over and over again.

If there's one thing I've learned in the last nine months, it's this: Life is way harder than I wish it was sometimes, but I can always get through it and grow through it when I continually allow God into my struggle and surrender control to Him.

The last nine months have been challenging for me. A series of events in March made life really hard. For a while, each day was a struggle just to get through. The only choice I had was to take it to God, to surrender it to Him, and to invite Him into it to do the work only He could do. Sometimes that was a decision I had to make every minute.

Now, I think I'm on the other side of this particular season of struggle in the hard stuff of life. Life isn't that hard anymore (although I'm not sure I'd say it's easy). And I know I didn't make it through because of something I did. I made it through because I surrendered control of that time to God. I'm where I am today because of God and His care for me and His working in the midst of my hard time because I allowed Him to.

I don't where this post finds you right now. But, if you're in the midst of a hard time, can I encourage you to give it to God. Invite Him in, and let Him do the work only He can do in the midst of it. Do exactly what Philippians 4:6-7 and 1 Peter 5:7 say to do. It changes everything.

Overcome!

"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the One who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." (1 John 4:4)

These words follow a warning about false teachers and false spirits who deny that Jesus is God's Son. A warning about those who have been deceived by Satan and teaching things that are wrong.

John is reminding his readers that they don't have to be discouraged or defeated because of false teachers, because they are not greater than the God we serve - than the Holy Spirit living in each of us.

Satan and his demons deny the truth and want to deceive us. They attack us and try to defeat us.

But, we won't be defeated, because we have the Holy Spirit living in us and He is greater.

If this is true, then why are there so many defeated Christians walking around? If the Holy Spirit living in us is greater than anything Satan can throw at us, why do so many of live as though we can't get free of the lies that keep us chained?

If we're living out of the the truth of this verse and so many others in Scripture that talk about Satan already being defeated, then we should be living lives confident in our God and sure of the freedom He has purchased for us. Yet, the reality is so different from what it should be for too many Christians - even Christians who would declare these truths with their words.

I think the reason why so many Christians live a defeated life is because we only believe these words - this truth from Scripture - in our heads. We say we believe it, but it hasn't made its way to our hearts yet. And until it becomes something we believe in our hearts, we'll continue to live bound up and defeated lives. Because when we believe it with our hearts, it means we are willing to act on it.

Learning to believe the Holy Spirit living in us is greater than anything else Satan tries in our lives isn't something that will just happen. It won't just occur by accident.

We have to choose to trust God that it's true and act on it first. As we do, we will being to believe it in our hearts, as well as our heads. But, we have to make the choice first. The more we make the choice, the easier it becomes to live believing that because we've experienced it to be true.

What is one area in your life where you're struggling to believe that Holy Spirit in you is greater than the one who is in the world? Will you choose today to step into the truth and start living like its true in that area?