One Year

 If you've read my blog for any amount of time, you'll know that from time to time I share poetry I've written. Often it's about things I'm walking through. In the last few years, a number of them have been to do with things with my Grandma. 

A few days ago - on July 21, 2022 - it was the one year anniversary since my Grandma went to be with Jesus. As I reflected on that, another poem came that fits with previous ones.

(You can read previous parts here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5)

I see you there

Smiling in the picture

The last family gathering

You were there for

 

Your face full of joy

As we gathered around

A time to celebrate

You and Grandpa together

 

We laughed and we talked

We sang grace and we ate

We watched the little ones play

We celebrated faithful love

 

Now we gathered without you

A time to remember

The life that you lived

The way that you loved

 

Though you are gone now

You live on in us

Your words and your wisdom

Still influence us

 

You’ve been gone a year

It doesn’t feel right

Sometimes I’m still waiting

To hug you and hear you

 

I’m grateful I had you

To call you my Grandma

I’m grateful you cared

To always be there

 

Grandma, I miss you

Time hasn’t changed that

Your smile and your laugh

The deep love you shared

We Can't Do It Alone

 You can do it alone. 

You don't need anyone else. 

You everything you need to do what you want.

We hear things like this all the time. And mostly we believe them.

But, what if I told you these were lies?

The truth is:

We need each other. We can't do it alone.

I've written quite a bit about community and our need for people to walk through the good and the hard of life with. I keep coming back to it because it's so important and it goes against everything society tells us.

I think it's an even more important topic of discussion now. After the last couple of years where we were told to stay apart, we've become even better at trying to do it all on our own. We've drawn lines around ourselves in the things we believe and if someone doesn't completely agree with us, we push them away.

But, we're in a worse place because of it. We're paying a huge price because of it.

God created us to need each other as we walk through life. We don't have what we need for everything all on our own. Sometimes we need someone to be strong for us and carry us through. Sometimes we need to be strong for someone and carry them through. Sometimes no one will be strong and we just to know we have someone else who knows the struggle to stumble through it all with.

I was reminded of how important being together and how healing it is a week and a half ago. We were finally able to gather and have a Celebration of Life for my Grandma, after almost 11 months of waiting. As the family and close friends began to arrive, there were two thoughts in my head. The first was how good it was to see everyone and be together. The second was how something that used to feel so normal now felt strange. After a couple years of not being able to be together, it felt strange.

As we remembered, shared, talked, cried, and laughed together, something that happened that hadn't yet. Although we'd all said our goodbyes to my Grandma in some way over the last 11 months, there was something about saying goodbye together that we needed.

As I looked at the tables full of family, I knew this was a group that has laughed and enjoyed time together. But, also strongly disagreed and fought with each other over the years. That's what community is though, and you choose to stay together anyways. You love each other and show up for each other. You fight and you disagree with each other and you still show up for each other and love each other.

This is how we were created to live life. And we need to learn how to do it better again. It will take work. It will take intentionality.

But, we don't have a choice if we're going to live the lives God created us to live.

Memories of my Grandma

 Today - almost 11 months after she passed away - we had the Celebration of Life for my Grandma. It was so good to be together after so long of not being able to do. And I didn't realize how necessary this step was in the journey of saying good-bye.

I was asked to share, alongside a couple of my cousins, memories of Grandma. As I wrote, I figured it would be easier to share the memories now since so much time had passed, but as I started, I realized that the memories still touched me more than I thought they would. 

Here is what I shared, or at least intended to share today - I'm not sure that I actually was able to read everything that was written when I got to that moment.

"There's not a day goes by that I don't see you;

You live on in all the better parts of me."

Those are a couple of lines from the song "Scars in Heaven" by Casting Crowns. I listened to that song a lot in the months after Grandma passed away. And as I sat down to write the memories about Grandma I wanted to share, those words came to mind again. Over the last 11 months, I've had many times when the words of wisdom, encouragement, and love Grandma shared with me over the years have continued to have an influence on my life.

As I talked to my sisters about our memories of Grandma, one of the first things that came up for us was our memories of sick days at Grandma's. If we woke up sick one morning, or got sick at school, we always hoped Mom was busy, because it means we got to go to Grandma's for the day. Even when we were sick, Grandma's house was always more fund than being at home. A sick day at Grandma's usually meant sitting in their ricking chars, eating cookies, and watching TV together.

A lot of our memories of Grandma are around their house on Green Bay. Summers at the beach, holiday family gatherings, and any other reason we found to get together.

Helping make "Grandma buns" - as we called them. Nothing tasted better that Grandma buns with homemade strawberry freezer jam.

Making roll kuchen and eating it watermelon outside. The important question was always the ratio of watermelon slices to roll kuchen we were allowed. It usually felt like too much watermelon, but Grandma would hold firm on the number.

Another memory is singing together with Grandma. More often than not, Grandma would start us off singing The Doxology for grace when we gathered for a holiday meal or special occasions. And Christmas gatherings always included singing some carols while Grandma played the piano.

For me, another memory of Grandma is the many hours spent on the golf course with Grandma, and Grandpa too. Depending on who was picking you up, changed what time you actually had to be ready to go. If Grandma and Grandpa were both coming, they'd be on time for what they told you; if it was just Grandpa, you needed to be ready early; if it was just Grandma, you had an extra 5-10 minutes to get ready. But, my favourite part of that wasn't the golfing; it was the conversations that happened while we golfed. Grandma always shares wisdom and encouragement and pointed me to God in those hours together.

When I went away to Briercrest for school, Grandma made it worthwhile to get a mailbox of my own in town. At least every couple of weeks, sometimes more often, I would find an envelope with Grandma's familiar handwriting on it. It would be filled with stories of what was going on in her life and Grandpa's - a connection to home that I was grateful for. I was really bad at writing back, and even worse at phoning, but the letters from Grandma kept coming as long as I was away.

Grandma always liked to have fun. Even though she always looked put together and proper when we were out, she was always up for having fun. That was something that stayed, even as her mobility was slowly stolen by Parkinson's disease. One of my favourite memories of that includes my niece. Grandma and Grandpa were at my parent's house for a meal. While we were waiting for the food to be ready, Grandma was playing with my niece. They were laughing and enjoying being together, while, much to my Mom's chagrin, they tossed a decorative whicker ball my Mom had in the living room back and forth. Grandma using a paper plate to catch and throw it. 

As I talked to my sisters about our memories of Grandma, the theme that kept coming up in all of them was that she was there. We could count on that. Whether we were sick as kids and Mom was busy, or we had something special happening, or we just needed somewhere to go on a Friday night, Grandma was there and she was always praying for us.

Those Left Behind

 Alongside the original poem I wrote processing the changes with my Grandma, there were also changes for my Grandpa. I wrote the first part of the poem a number of years ago, while the second part is new today.

I see you there

Saying good-bye

The love of your life

No longer here

 

You try to be strong

To stand on your own

To keep it together

Your pain not exposed

 

Stand at her final place

Saying good-bye

We all stand together

To laugh and to cry

 

Disease stole her body

And then stole her mind

Yet you held on

Loving her deeply

 

Time still moves on

Though loss seems too great

The hole that she left us

Can never be filled

 

But in this we hope

She’s now with our Savior

Who loves her the most

Fully healed and restored

Holidays and Loss

As Christmas approaches, I've been reflecting again on what it looks like when you're dealing with the loss of loved ones. It's the first Christmas that my Grandma won't be here, and while she wasn't able to be at the family gatherings for most of the last few years, she was still a part of things.

Over the last while, I've written a few poems that were part of my processing. When I wrote the last one in July, I thought that would be the end of it. But, as Christmas approaches, there was another one that I'm sharing now.

(You can find previous ones here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4)

Here's the one from today

Christmas approaching

Yet something feels off

Grandma, you’re missing

It doesn’t feel right

 

Decorations and nativity set

The detailed Christmas village

They remind me of you

The joy and the laughter

 

Sometimes I’m okay

And sometimes I’m not

Sometimes I’m laughing

The next time I’m crying

 

Grief is so messy

A hole in my heart

The place that you filled

A place for no other

 

Each time that I miss you

I hear all you shared

The wisdom you offered

How you pointed the way

 

I look at your picture

And see how you smile

It shows how you loved us

How you embraced life

 

Grandma, I miss you

This world just feels wrong

Without you down here

I miss you, I miss you

 

Christmas is coming

The first time without you

I want to pretend that it’s all okay

But I know that it’s not

 

I miss you so deeply

I’ll always remember

Your role in my life

The love that you shared

 

You pointed to Jesus

In all that you lived

You prayed and you loved

Just the way that you lived

 

I see your picture

I choose to let go

Trusting our Savior

Who loves us the most

Saying Good-Bye

 This is the final part of some poems that I wrote as I have been processing things with my Grandma.

You can find previous parts here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

It’s different down here

Without you to see

No one I call Grandma

To hug anymore

 

Something feels missing

Without you here

A hole left behind

That only you filled

 

I miss you already

Just being with you

Sitting beside you

Feeling your hugs

 

But I picture you there

Fully healed and restored

In the arms of our Savior

At peace evermore

 

The world feels so different

Without your bright light

Shining for Jesus

In all that you do

 

While words couldn’t express it

Right up to the end

A peace sat around you

As I entered your room

 

You knew of your Savior

You knew what would come

You trusted Him deeply

And pointed the way

 

A woman of prayer

Your legacy left

A love for our Savior

Marked all that you did

 

Good-bye my dear Grandma

I’ll never forget

The words of your wisdom

The love that you showed

 

I know that I’m different

Because you took time

To point me to Jesus

In all that you said

In the Struggle

 I've shared a couple of poems that I wrote in processing things with my Grandma. One back in 2018 and one just a few days ago. Things didn't feel complete yet, but I wasn't sure if I was going to share the rest of them. Today, I'm choosing to share the next part.

I see you there

Fighting to stay here

You keep holding on

To life on this earth

 

I see you there

Struggling to stay here

It’s time to let go

It’s time to go home

 

We know where you’re going

Our Savior is waiting

With welcoming arms

For you to come to Him

 

We’ll miss you down here

But we will be okay

We know where you’re going

That it will be better

 

We know we can trust Him

Our Savior to hold you

To welcome you to Him

Cuz He loves you the most

 

I treasure it all

Every hug, every smile

Every thing you came to

Every card that you wrote

 

I see you there

I choose to let go

Trusting our Savior

Who loves you the most

Even When It's Hard...

 A couple of years ago, things started really changing with my grandparents. It was a lot to process at the time. One of the ways I often make sense of things is poetry. In December of 2018, I shared a poem that I wrote about things that were happening with my Grandma at the time.

As I've been continuing to walk this in the last few months, I found that I was writing more of what felt like much the same poem as I shared in 2018. This part is a couple of months old now. I wrote it after visiting my Grandma on Mother's Day, back in May.

I see you there

Fighting to follow

The words that are spoken

Uncertain of what’s going on

 

I see you there

Dependent on others

To move and for care

Unable to do what you choose

 

I see you there

A smile peeks through

A moment, a glimpse

Of the Grandma I know

 

Reading Scripture aloud

Singing old hymns

The things you’ve held dear

And modelled for us

 

I bend down to hug you

You melt in my arms

No strong arms reach back

As they used to do

 

I miss all your hugs

The way you held tight

It’s my turn right now

To hug you well

 

Grandma, I love you

Feels not enough

Words can’t express 

Just how I feel

 

I’ve missed you for long

It’s not been the same

You’re there and you’re not

All in one breath

 

I see you there

I choose to let go

Trusting our Savior

Who loves you the most

It's Strange Right Now

 Can we just acknowledge it . . . ???

Church is a little strange right now. Well, all of life is. But, today, I'm talking specifically about church.

For some, church is still online. Sitting in your living room, logging onto your computer.

For others, church may have begun to gather again. But, it definitely doesn't look the same. Doesn't look the way we're used to it looking.

But, as I discovered when I could walk into the church building I'd taken for granted, it is also good to be back. Even though I know the church isn't a building and that just because we couldn't gather in our usual place didn't mean we were no longer the church, there's still something about the place we gather as the family of God. 

As I've arrived for church and watched others arrive and find a seat in this strange situation we find ourselves in, I've realized that for the first time many are feeling something I've felt many times before - long before things became what they are now. There's something that I'm recognizing in their faces that's familiar.

You see . . . when the place you sit is carefully chosen and you're not just sitting close to everyone else in the room, it can feel lonely. You can feel like you're completely alone, even when there's other people in the room. When you have to keep the appropriate distance between you and others, it can emphasize those feelings of being alone. And, even moreso for those who are coming to church alone right now, when they would usually come with others.

I've struggled with since being able to go back. In some ways, the fact that I'm single is more emphasized than ever, because I can't just find friends to sit with. But, it's also a familiar feeling for me. There have been many times when I've walked into church, and not seeing anyone I would normally sit with, felt very alone int he group.

So, speaking from experience, maybe I can offer a bit of encouragement in this time: Let's be intentional about loving one another. Be compassionate. And offer that smile and hello. Even though we can't stop like we normally would and sit down to have the conversation or give a hug to someone,  we can still be the family of God and care for and love each other.

And don't be afraid to acknowledge that it feels strange. That it's hard. That, although we might be glad to be back, we're also still struggling with how we have to do things to be back.

Love Your Neighbour

The Parable of the Good Samaritan.

If you've spent any time around church or reading a Bible, you probably know this story pretty well. It's one we talk about pretty regularly as Christians.

Luke 10:25-37 records this parable and the rest of the exchange that goes with it. Before you go with this post, please read it again. Click on the link, or look it up.

Read it slowly . . . every word.

When I read it recently, I was challenged by some of the questions that came to mind:
What made the priest and Levite cross to the other side of the road as they passed the man who had been beaten and robbed? Why were they so careful to avoid him? Where was the compassion for those in need we expect religious leaders to have?

I think Jesus is being intentional in using the specific people He does in this story. The priest and Levite were religious leaders. We don't know exactly why these men were travelling this road. Since they were going from Jerusalem to Jericho we could guess they were returning home after service in the temple.

As religious leaders in the temple, they would have been well aware of the religious requirements and what would make them unclean and unfit to serve in the temple, even if only temporarily. Rather than help their follow Jew in need and risk becoming unclean, they chose to avoid him completely.

In reality, they missed the point of what God was trying to show His people through the law. Religiously, they were clean before God. But their hearts weren't in the right place, and God is pretty clear that matters more to Him.

We easily get caught up in the exact same things. We may be doing everything right religiously, but if our hearts aren't moved with compassion by the same things that move God's hear, we've missed the point completely.

In this parable, Jesus used the Samaritan as the example we should follow. The Samaritan was moved to compassion and action by what he saw. He was willing to pay a personal price to love someone society told him he shouldn't love.

As I reflect on some of the issues currently a major focus of discussion in our society, I'm left with a few questions:
How are we doing, as Christians, at actually loving our neighbour in the way Jesus describes in this parable?
What would it look like if we all actually allowed our hearts to be broken by what breaks God's heart and them moved to action because of it? What kind of impact would that actually make in our society?

I'm not saying it's easy. I know it's hard. I know it's dangerous to pray a prayer asking God to break our hearts for what breaks His.

About eight or nine years ago, I realized my heart was no longer moved by the brokenness and pain I saw everyday. I walked past a couple of interactions and activities that shouted about the pain and brokenness of those involved. I had been working at my job for a few years and things like that had become commonplace.

As I sat in my office later that day, I told God I didn't want my heart to become hard to what I'd seen. I told Him I wanted to see each person I walked past through His eyes. They I prayed the "dangerous" part. I told God to do whatever He needed to do to soften my heart again.

The answer to that prayer came a few days later. Without sharing details that could identify this person, I found myself in the position of returning money to someone I'd grown up with knowing he was likely going to go spend it on drugs as soon as he left. But, it was his money and there was nothing I could do to stop him. As I handed him the money I looked at him and reminded him of God's love. To date, that's one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

A couple months later, another person I'd known growing up crossed my path at work and they weren't doing well. I knew the potential they had and I was watching them seemingly self-destruct for a couple weeks.

I with I could say these stories had happy endings, but the truth is, I don't know what has happened with either of them in the years since. I don't know if I'll ever know.

But, those two interactions definitely answered my prayer for God to soften my heart. And I realized that a soft heart is one that loves at great personal cost. When we see the pain and brokenness of others, if our heart breaks for what breaks God's heart, we will care and we will take action.

Getting Into the Pain & Brokenness of People

Everywhere you look in the gospels, Jesus is doing things that upset and angered the religious leaders of His day. He didn't do it just to make them mad. He was revealing the places where they were missing the point.

Somewhere along the way, the religious leaders had gotten more caught up in the rules about things rather than the heart of the reason why God had created that law in the first place. The is what Jesus pointed out in Luke 6:1-11. The religious leaders were more concerned about what Jesus' disciples were doing on the Sabbath than what God created the Sabbath for in the first place.

Just a little bit later, Jesus challenges the Pharisees on how they treat people. Luke 7:36-50 records an encounter with Jesus and a conversation with a Pharisee that I think we sanitize when we read it. We picture at least a somewhat presentable person coming into Simon's house and anointing Jesus with perfume, and weeping at his feet, drying them with her hair.

We understand it was a costly jar of perfume she used and we talk about the cost to her. We talk about Simon, the Pharisee, whose home Jesus was visiting when this occurred. All are good things to notice and learn from. But, I think in our version, we miss something important.

Jesus honours and values this woman, who was seen only as a sinner by society. Jesus saw who she really was and called it out in her.

When Luke writes that she was a woman who lived a sinful life, he's not talking about the sin that, although we know it's still sin, we have somehow deemed acceptable to struggle with. This woman was a prostitute. She lived a life that went completely and openly against God's laws. She would have been pushed to the outskirts of society - excluded and looked down on, often treated poorly.

Put yourself at the table for a minutes. You've been invited to have dinner with Jesus. Everyone at the table lives a good life. You all follow the rules and do everything you're supposed to. While you're eating dinner, someone comes into the home you're gathered in, uninvited.

For the sake of helping us understand this, this person is homeless - their hair is unwashed and messy, their clothes are dirty from sleeping outside in a tent for months, they're carrying all their personal belongings with them. Everyone at the dinner party knows who they are - they have a reputation in the community.

When this person enters the room, they offer Jesus their most prized possession and fall at His feet weeping. They've created quite the scene and everyone is watching Jesus to see how He responds.

What will Jesus do? Will He send the person away? Will He reprimand them? Will He try to ignore them?

But, as you all watch, Jesus reaches down and wraps His arms around the person. He embraces them and lifts them up. Instead of the disdain this person is used to experiencing, Jesus has love in His eyes and on His face as He looks at this person. Jesus seems not to notice or care about the appearance or reputation of the person.

Jesus begins to speak like - to point out the good in this person, to identify the beauty and image of God in this person that society doesn't see. Jesus doesn't condone the poor behaviour and choices that have led to this person's reputation, but neither does He talk only about it.

When I look at how Jesus treated the woman in Luke 7 and so may others in the gospels, I have to think that Jesus would have spent His time in the middle of the broken, hurting and lost people in our society. He wouldn't have been looking down on them trying to give them a negative label.

Think for a moment. When I started describing the person who came into you dinner party with Jesus, what words came to mind as how you labelled the person?

Junkie . . . Hopeless . . . Just an addict . . . Lost cause . . .Dregs of society

I hope not. I hope reading those words was as difficult for you as it was for me to write them.

I think I'm pretty safe to say those wouldn't be the words Jesus would use. Labels like that destroy people. They don't love them the way Jesus modeled for us.

What about the words . . . man/woman created in the image of God . . . loved by God . . . value . . . worth . . . I think these are what we need to see when we look at people like this person who intruded on our dinner party with Jesus.

Where would Jesus be in our society?

Jesus would be in the middle of the pain and brokenness. Yes, that includes the illness, death, family breakdown, job loss, etc of those of us who have homes and aren't looked down on by society. But, we can't keep operating like those are the only places Jesus would be.

Jesus would also be in the middle of the pain and brokenness of those who we generally see as outcasts in our society. Instead of judgement and anger and disdain, Jesus would be loving them and speaking life and identity to them. He would be inviting us to come alongside and love these people. He would have, and still does, expected His followers to be an active part of the solution.

If you're still with me, thanks. I hope I've challenged you. This been a challenging post to write and I've had to wrestle with what this looks like in my own life. I don't get it right all the time. But, I think we have to allow ourselves to be challenged by Scripture if we claim to follow Jesus.

Know & Rely on God's Love

What does it means to know God's love?

What does it look like to rely on God's love?

What is perfect love?

How does it drive out fear?

1 John 4:16-18 says:

"And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgement: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

John writes a lot about God's love and how our love for others is a sign we're in Christ in 1 John. But, I think these verses are the culmination of all he is saying. Here, John writes about God's love for us in a way that emphasizes how great it is, and also shows us that love changes how we live.

We can know and rely on God's love. While we may never fully grasp the magnitude of God's love for us, we can at least begin to know it. Scripture is pretty clear in how it shows us God's love. As we seek to know it more, we will continue to grow in our understanding of it.

As we get to know God's love, we can also come to rely on it. God's love for us will always be there. We can count on it. It doesn't change or disappear. We can build our lives on the knowledge that God's love will always be there.

This knowledge and reliance changes how we live in the world. Because we're no longer caught up in a desperate search for love, we're actually able to live the world and the people in it like Jesus does. John calls it being like Jesus in the world.

If we look at the gospels to see what Jesus was like in the world, we see a great example of love. When we get to know and rely on God's love for us, we then able to love people like Jesus did - unconditionally, looking out for their best, and seeking nothing in return.

Verse 18 has always intrigued me, especially the first part where John says that fear and love cannot coexist. When I take the time to think about it, I realize it's very much true. When we come to the point of knowing and relying on God's love for us, fear vanishes from our lives. We've become secure in our position as God's children. We know our identity and we're living from that place. That leaves no room for us to live in fear.

John also connects fear with punishment here. When we're living in fear, we're living feeling like we're waiting for punishment for what we've done. We're wondering when we're going to cross the line and bring punishment on ourselves.

This fear of punishment is different than the discipline that comes from real love. Discipline is about getting us back on track and is always done out of real love. Punishment is about being made to pay a price for your ways. It doesn't come from a place of love that is like God's love.

God's perfect love for us removes our desperation is our search for love. As we come to know and learn to rely on it, it changes everything about how we live in and love the world around us. It enables us to be like Jesus in the world.

Our Call to Love Like Jesus Did

What does it look like to love like Jesus did when He walked on this earth?

How are we supposed to look at the people who also call the same place as us home who are very different from us? Even those whose lifestyle is one we may not agree with?

There have been some discussions happening in our society as a whole, and on a smaller scale in specific cities or neighbourhoods that have prompted me to wrestle with these questions again. In the last few weeks, I've been going back to the gospels to see how Jesus loved these people, to see what it should look like for me.

Before I write the rest of this, I want to be clear on one thing. While this post has been prompted by some recent happenings, this is not a political post, nor is it meant to become a forum for discussing the lifestyles of others that we may or may not agree with. I am not looking to discuss whether certain recent decisions are the correct ones. I will delete all comments that make this about that without notice, as that is missing my point completely.

As I looked at how Jesus loved in the gospels, I was struck by one thing specifically. He loved and treated people who were looked down on by Jewish society of His day in a way that was radical. He gave them a value and a place that they were not used to being in.

Here is just a quick run through of some of the interactions Jesus had with people who were looked down on in Jewish society:

• Jesus touched a man with leprosy when He healed the man. (Matthew 8:3)
• Jesus called a tax collector to be His disciple when He called Matthew. Tax collectors were looked down on by other Jews. (Matthew 9:9, Luke 5:27-31)
• Jesus healed blind men. (Matthew 9:27-29, 20:29-34)
• Jesus restored a demon-possessed man. (Mark 5:1-20)
• Jesus healed a women who had been bleeding for 12 years. He didn't condemn her when she touched His robe, although she would have been unclean at the time. (Mark 5:25-34)
• Jesus honoured the faith of an outsider and drove a demon out of her daughter. (Mark 7:24-30)
• Jesus brought a widow's son back to life. (Luke 7:12-15)
• Jesus honoured and welcomed a "sinful" women into His presence to anoint His feet. (Luke 7:36-50)
• Jesus healed 10 men with leprosy. (Luke 17:11-14)
• Jesus had a conversation with a Samaritan woman. (John 4:1-26)

In all of these accounts, Jesus had compassion on and loved these people. He took the time to value these people who had been rejected by their society, who had been made less than. Jesus lifted them back up to where they belonged.

If I look at Jesus' interactions with people who were looked down on by society, I'm challenged in how I treat people in my own world. I am challenged to be different from the society I live in. I'm challenged to love all people and to look at them through Jesus' eyes.

Rather than seeing only the lifestyle of people I come across, I choose to see the fact that they are people created in the image of God. We all are, regardless of what may be seen on the surface. And, because we're all created in the image of God, we're worthy of love and care.

I'm not advocating for no consequences or no boundaries in relationships. But. I am talking about choosing to speak the truth of the identity God gave people into their lives, rather than putting them down for what is obvious.

I guess, as I've wrestled with these questions the last few weeks, I've come back to one thing that I think is the starting place for where we begin to love like Jesus did when He was on earth. It starts with how we talk about and to people who have lifestyles we don't agree with. Our language matters. When we speak about the identity God has given people, we give them something to live up to. When we speak about the things we see about people, in sometimes derogatory terms, we give them nothing to live up to and we do everything but love them.

I know how easy it is to just use the common terms for different groups of people when referring to them, but, I do believe that, as Christians, we need to choose differently. We need to choose our language carefully, and choose to use words that speak life and truth and identity to even the hardest of those to love in our society.

More Reflections on Life Changing in Ways We Don't Always Understand

A few days ago, I shared a poem about some of the hard changes I've been processing with my grandparents recently. That poem was specifically about what I've been walking through with my Grandma, but it's also meant changes with my Grandpa too. This poem is specifically related to that. I'm not actually sure if it's part of the last one, or if it's a new one.

I see you there

With sad in your eyes

The love of your life

Is changing each day

Some days she's angry

And pushes away

Some days she needs you

And pulls you in close

Disease stole her body

And now has her mind

She's here and she's not

So hard to find

I see you there

Loving her still

In pain and in sorrow

You never give up

I listen and watch

I see all you do

It makes me desire

A love like you have

Through life's ups and downs

Endurance has marked it

You hold on for good

You held on in hard

I see you there

Lonely and lost

Crying and hurting

For what has been lost

I'm grateful for you

Your love and your caring

For me through the years

 I cannot forget

Every smile, every hug

 Every prayer that you pray

All the laughter we've shared

It's part of me now

I love much more

Than what I can say

Grandpa, I love you

Is just not enough

When Life Changes in Ways You Don't Understand

As December approached, I had plans for what my posts leading up to Christmas would be about. I was hoping that I would have some thoughts on Christmas and what it looks like as we approach this time.

But, that isn't what happened. As I've been processing life and what some of the things happening in my family mean right now, I've found that I wasn't yet moving towards Christmas in my mind. I was, and am, still processing some changes in my family and relationships with one another.

Often, as I wrestle with changes like this, I find that I turn to poetry as a way to make sense of all that is going through my mind. I don't always share this poetry and I wrestled with whether or not I would share this one. The more I've thought about it, the more pulled toward sharing it I've become.

In these last months I've seen big changes in what it looks like with my grandparents. They've always been an important part of my life, and things look very different now than what they've looked like so far. And it hasn't been an easy journey to be walking. I feel like I've lost so much of what I've always loved and valued with them, even though they're still here. 

This particular poem is part of processing what those changes look like with my Grandma.

I see you there

 Frustrated by what life's become

Betrayed by your mind

Held back by your body

A mind once so alive

Now struggles to understand

A body once so able

Now refuses to do what it should

Golfing, baking, playing with us

You were always there

Laughter and tears, hugs freely given

A safe place to run

Faith always valued

I knew you were praying

Wherever I was

God's love you shared

I see you there

And I love you still

You'll always be with me

Memories deep in my heart

Grandma, I love you

Feels not enough

Words can't express

Just how I feel

I see you there

Waiting for heaven

To be free of these struggles

Fully healed and released

I miss you already

Something doesn't seem right

This world's unfairness

Has stolen your light

I know where you're going

But I'm not ready yet

I want to hold tightly

To not let you go

I treasure it all

Every hug, every smile

Every thing you came to

Every card that you wrote

I see you there

I choose to let go

Trusting our Savior

Who loves you the most

Obeying the Opportunities God Provides

Sometimes things happen that remind me of how amazing it is to be a part of a local church. For all it's imperfections and the times something happens that brings hurt, there are just as many times when what happens is a beautiful picture of what it should be.

One of those moments happened for me recently. I was having a hard time with something and expressed that. I said it specifically to someone I knew and who knew my story so I didn't have to share the details. There was another person standing nearby who noticed I was having a hard time. They didn't try to get details about what was going on, or join in the conversation. They simply put a hand on my shoulder and spoke a few words of encouragement before they quietly walked away.

I had seen this person around at church before, but I didn't even know their name. They simply took a moment to encourage me when I was struggling and they didn't make a big show of it, or try to get involved in something they weren't invited into.

I didn't fully realize the significance of what they had done until later. But the words they spoke and the fact they would take the time when we didn't know each other played a big part in beginning to change what was going on for me that evening.

It makes me wonder about how I can do the same thing more.

How often have I walked past someone having a hard time and thought about what I could say to encourage them and just kept going?

How many opportunities to bring light into someone's darkness have I just walked by?

I'm not thinking about these things because I want to feel guilty about those times. They're about a realization that I have these same opportunities and a challenge to step into them, instead of walking by them. It takes only a minute for me, but it could be really important to that person.

Whether we know the outcome of our obedience to God in these things or not isn't what's important. The importance is that we follow through. That we listen to these promptings from God as go about our days.

In the time since this experience for me, my prayer has been that God would help me to see these moments where a couple minutes of my time can make a difference in someone's day. And then that I would have the willingness and the courage to follow through on those promptings.

I would invite you to join me in that. I believe it is the way we were meant to live.

Communicating with Grace and Love

The conversations about hot topics in society today are becoming more and more divisive and polarizing. Whether they're being had in society at large or in the church, we're becoming really good at mud-slinging toward those who don't agree with us.

It's made me think about how we should actually be responding.

What does it look like to respond in a godly manner?

How do we respond with truth without falling into the attacking of people that has become so common?

I don't want to get into a political debate about any of the current issues. That's not my point here. I'm not looking at the specifics of what our responses should or should not be. I want to look at what the overall tone of our response should be. How we should be dealing with people whether we agree with them or not.

In all of these conversations our tone must be filled with grace. We have to offer grace to everyone in how we respond. This doesn't mean we shouldn't speak the truth of what God's Word says, but it does impact how we communicate that truth.

Our approach shouldn't be about proving we're right and making the other person feel small or stupid for disagreeing with us. That will close people's ears to what we're saying. We have to communicate our love for all people as we communicate the truth. Yes, this is difficult in a society that equates disagreement with one's view as not liking the person. But, somehow we have to figure out what that looks like.

As vital as communicating this way is when it comes to society at large, I believe we need to be just as careful when we communicate within the church. In our fallen world, we need to speak the truth lovingly and with grace to those within our walls too. Often, we don't know what the other people around us in church have walked through and how something we say might impact them. If we want to be places where people come to find healing and freedom, then we have to be thoughtful in how we communicate.

I'm not saying we shouldn't speak the truth. We absolutely have to. But, if we communicate that truth without grace and love we won't be heard by the people we're speaking to. This is true in everything, but I think it's even more  important when it comes to some the hot topics in our society today.

If we speak the truth in a way that condemns someone for their past in that area, we have actually failed to communicate the truth. Instead, we're communicating judgement. When we speak the truth of God's Word in these areas, we need to be speaking about repentance, forgiveness, and grace alongside. Not as an after-thought, but as part of the truth we're speaking.

Whatever situation we may find ourselves in when these topics come up for conversation, our response should be different than that of the world. Not just because it's what the Bible says, but because we're doing our best to really love others - both inside and outside of the church. It's about following Christ's example, not trying to be right.

The Light that Draws People

"We draw people to Christ not by loudly discrediting what they believe, by telling them how wrong they are and how right we are, but by showing them a light that is so lovely that they want with all their hearts to know the source of it."                  -Madeleine L'Engle



I've been thinking a lot lately about how we share the gospel in the culture we live in. A culture with massive and ever growing divisions among various groups of people. The dividing lines we draw seem to be becoming more and more pronounced.

So much of what we hear today is about discrediting "the other side." About telling people they're wrong and we're right. Most people seem to just want to prove themselves right, at everyone else's expense.

And that has an influence on how we share the gospel with people. If we get caught up in the anger and the drawing of lines and trying to prove we're right with everyone else, then our gospel message is compromised. It will affect our ability to be heard - really heard, rather than just being more noise.

That's where I think the quote I opened this post with is so important. Our light shining in the darkness of this world is the way forward. It doesn't mean we don't talk about our faith. In many ways, I believe it means we clearly speak the gospel message, but we also have to do so in a way that makes people want what we have. Our speaking and our living have to come from a place of love, because that's what will attract people to the source of the light we have.



"We draw people to Christ not by loudly discrediting what they believe, by telling them how wrong they are and how right we are, but by showing them a light that is so lovely that they want with all their hearts to know the source of it."                  -Madeleine L'Engle

Rest

Running

Constantly running

From one place to the next

No time to pause

No chance to catch your breath

Will I ever get to rest?

Hurrying

Always on to the next

Never stopping to really see

The people you are passing

Blind to need, to pain

Will I ever get to rest?

Busy-ness

A calendar too full

No space to breath

No times for those you love

No time for laughter

Will I ever get to rest?

Slowing down

Making space to stop

Slowing down

Creating time to breath

Slowing down

Taking time to see

Listening

To people all around

Hearing

What they're really saying

Loving

Walking alongside

Resting

Escaping from the busy-ness

Resting

Something we really need

Resting

A beautiful gift from God

God's Love & Care for Us

I've often wrestled with the question of why God cares so much about my life. I mean, in all of history and all that is yet to come, it can seem a little strange to think that I'm important enough for God to care about the details of my life.

But Scripture makes it pretty clear. Psalm 139 tells us that God knows our thoughts and our words before we speak them. And that there is no where we can escape from His presence. Matthew 6:25-34 tells us that we have no need to worry because God will look after our needs if we're seeking Him.

When I reflect on Scriptures like these, and many others, I'm often overwhelmed by the truth of it. It changes everything. My worth doesn't come from doing significant things for God, it comes from seeking Him.

God knows me.
Sees me.
Loves me.
Cares about what's going on in my life.
That changes everything for me.

It's worth reflecting on for each of our lives.