Rediscovering a Sense of Purpose

 What do you do when your sense of purpose is taken away?

How do you rediscover a sense of purpose when a large part of what made that up is suddenly & unexpectedly removed?

These are questions I've wrestled with a lot in the last 13 months.

As most who have read things I've written in that timeframe will know, 13 months is how long it's been since I lost the job I'd had for 17 years, largely due to things I had no control over & no opportunity to speak into.

Beyond the fact that I was thrust into the unknown of navigating unemployment & finding a new job, in the moment I walked out the door of that office where I'd spent many hours & significant amounts of energy & passion, I was walking away from a large part of what I had seen as my life purpose for the 17 years I'd been there.

I wasn't often on the frontline of the work done there, but keeping bills paid, payroll accurate, & reports submitted to keep funding coming was important to the frontline work continuing. I walked into the office everyday with a sense that I was a part of something that changed lives everyday - even though most outside those I called coworkers at the time would never know who I was. As I walked out that door for the last time, I walked away from all that.

So, I was left with tough questions to wrestle with. I continued to wrestle while I was unemployed & as I returned to work in a new workplace. Even as I found & began a new job, that sense of purpose still felt elusive. Afterall, while we all have plumbing, heating, & air conditioning needs, the life changing aspect of what I used to do still seemed to be missing.

But, as I've discovered in the last 13 months, a sense of purpose doesn't have to come from the work I do everyday. In fact, I've realized it doesn't for a lot of people. No matter what fills your day for work, there can be a sense of purpose in how you do things - in how you interact with people. Wherever we are & whoever is in front of my in that moment is part of my purpose.

Giving the person right in front of me my full attention is more important than anything I can do for work. I don't think I'll ever forget the moments that drove this home for me.

The first came a few weeks into my time of being unemployed. I was playing a game with my niece & she said something about how she liked it much better since I stopped checking my phone all the time when I was with her. I hadn't realized how much checking work messages to just attempt to keep on top of things had creeped into my time with her.

The second was when I told my niece I had a new job. I could tell she wanted to be excited for me, but something was bugging her. When I finally got her to tell me what was up, she told me she was worried I'd go back to checking my phone all the time. I had to reassure that it would be different this time.

That's when I realized that my work doesn't have to provide the purpose. Each person & each interaction is my purpose in that moment. The best thing I can do is give my full attention in the moment. That's how I can love others the way God wants us to. That's how I have a sense of purpose no matter what I do.

I'm challenged to make sure my phone is put away when I'm with people - especially with my niece. Rather than going through life distracted, I'm choosing to give my full attention to those who are in front of me each day.

What is one thing you can do to embrace your purpose & give your attention fully to what is in front of you each day?

Worship as the First Response

I probably don't spend enough time reading the Old Testament. In doing so, it can be easy to miss some of the incredible things God wants to show me & teach me. After all, He has it included in our Bibles for a reason.

I was reminded of this recently when a devotional I was reading began with a single verse from 2 Chronicles. I couldn't stop thinking about it the rest of the day - it just felt like there was more there. 

I took time to sit down & read the whole chapter. I was struck by how much there was in it that spoke to me & where I'm at right now.

What is your response when you're overwhelmed or afraid?

Do you frantically try to figure out what to do?

Or do you ask God for His help right away?

2 Chronicles 20 opens with Jehoshaphat, the king of Judah, receiving overwhelming & fearful news. He is told that Judah's enemies were coming against them.

Verses 3-4 say this in response:

"Jehoshaphat was afraid, so he decided to ask the Lord what to do. He announced that everyone in Judah should fast during this special time of prayer to God. The people of Judah came together to ask the Lord for help; they came from every town in Judah." (NCV)

Jehoshaphat's immediate response to this overwhelming & fearful news was to pray - to seek God's direction for what to do. And he invited the entire nation of Judah to join him in it.

In the following verses, we see the people of Judah gather as Jehoshaphat led them in prayer. His pray declared who God is & what their situation was. And Jehoshaphat ended with a statement of truth.

"We don't know what to do, so we look to You for help." (vs 12b, NCV)

He asked God exactly what he & the people of Judah needed.

Then they listened for God's response.

"Don't be afraid or discouraged because of this army. The battle is not your battle, it is God's . . . You won't need to fight this battle. Just stand strong in your places, & you will see the Lord save you. Judah & Jerusalem, don't be afraid or discouraged, because the Lord is with you. So go out against those people tomorrow." (vs 15b, 17, NCV)

After they sought God, they had God's battle plan revealed. A plan that would have looked much different than anything they could have come up with on their own.

Their job was to stand firm as God's promise to fight for them, not try to fight themselves.

The next day, as they set out to do what God told them to do, they went forward with worship.

"Jehoshaphat listened to the people's advice. Then he chose men, to be signs to the Lord, to praise Him because He is holy & wonderful. As they march in front of the army, they said,

    'Thank the Lord,

    because His love continues forever'." (vs 21, NCV)

The army went forward worshipping God & saw God act powerfully on their behalf.

"As they began to sing & praise God, the Lord set ambushes to attack Ammon, Moab, & Edom who had come to attack Judah. And they were defeated." (vs 22, NCV)

Jehoshaphat & the army of Judah walked in trust of God - they stood firm in what they knew of God - & they saw victory happen God's way.

This was a powerful reminder for me in this season as I face my current battles, & deal with fear & overwhelm at what is coming toward me. My response should be turning to God to seek His plan for it all. And, as I stand firm in His plan & trust His ways, I can see the outcome God has planned. My job isn't to frantically worry & fear, & try to solve it myself. My job is prayer & worship & trusting God's plan.

What in your life is causing you fear & overwhelm?

Have you prayed about it?

Take time to admit to God you don't know what to do. 

Worship God in the midst of it - even if you don't see an answer yet. As we stand firm on God's truth & worship Him, we see God acting in ways we might otherwise have missed.

What Does Contentment Really Look Like?

A quote I read in a book recently, made me think. 

"If we . . . ask God for contentment, we should cancel our membership with speed dating pool, stop spending every waking minute on myperfectmatch.com, and trust that God will provide everything we need to minister Him (2 Corinthians 9:8). If we aren't ready to do these things, we should be honest with ourselves and tell God the truth: 'Dear God, please make me happy being single until I can fix my singleness'." (Alisha Plummer, "Confessions of a Christian Spinster")

When I read those words, they didn't sit right with me. While I could agree with a part of them, I immediately felt they took things too far.

The chapter of the book this quote is from is about contentment. About not allowing a desire for marriage to rob us of the life we have right now.

And there's truth to it all. If we're so focused on getting married, as singles, then we're going to miss out on the things God has for us right now. We need to be seeking contentment with our lives - even if we never get married.

But, I don't think that contentment in our lives as singles means we can't do anything to pursue things we desire. 

Contentment as a single doesn't mean I stop putting myself in places where I could meet someone to marry - whether in person or online - waiting for God to somehow provide me with someone to marry when there's nothing in my life that would give me a chance to meet someone.

Contentment actually means that I don't let me desire for marriage control me. It doesn't consume all of my thoughts & energy.

Contentment, for all of us, whether single or married, is about having your desires in the proper place, not about removing them altogether. 

We can be content with things in our lives & still have hope for something to be different in the future.

We can be content & still have desires for specific things - even be working towards those desires. Whether those are hopes & desires for marriage, or children, or a house, or a new job in a specific field.

When those desires are submitted to God, we are living in contentment. We choose to surrender our desires, by telling God what they are. We're honest about them. And then we choose to trust God that whatever happens is part of His will & He will use it for His purposes.

Stepping Out & Trusting God

 The other day as I sat outside a favourite coffee shop, I watched the window cleaners on the office building across the street. They were making the way down the building on ropes & harnesses.

I watched as they moved across the windows in a section & then moved a row lower. They did all of this with confidence they were secure & wouldn't fall as they moved.

As I watched for a few minutes, I felt like God was using it to say something to me. Those washing the windows were confident in the safety system they were using. They didn't keep checking or stay on the roof of the building because they weren't sure or because they were afraid. They knew the ropes & harness would hold them.

In that moment, God challenged me.

Will I step out in confidence in Him to hold me even when it's a step of faith?

Or as I going to allow fear to keep me back where it feels safer?

Somtimes God calls us to do something that feels like taking a step into the unknown. We have a choice of how we respond.

We can take that step of faith with confidence because of who we know God to be. And we can experience all that God has for us when we do.

Or we can stay where it feels safe & miss out on what God may have in store.

Are you willing to step out in faith when God asks you to trust Him?

A God Who Abundantly Provides

 Do you struggle to trust God to provide for your needs?

Do you worry you won't have what you think you need if you leave it all to God?

It's probably safe to say that we all struggle with this at least sometimes. We're human and we don't always trust God perfectly. It's hard.

I've been reading in John 6 recently and as I did, I was struck by the way provision from God was portrayed.

This chapter starts with the familiar story of Jesus feeding the 5,000 with five loaves and two fish. We talk lots about how the small amount of food miraculously fed everyone.

But, I was struck by the words of verse 13 this time:

"So they gathered up the pieces and filled twelve baskets with the pieces left from the five barley loaves."

Not only were all the people fed and satisfied, but there was an abundance of leftovers. Jesus didn't provide just enough barely for people to not be hungry. Everyone had their fill and there were still leftovers.

A little later in the same chapter, Jesus says these words:

"I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to Me will never be hungry and whoever believes in Me will never be thirsty." (verse 35)

In these words, Jesus is offering to satisfy all the needs of the people; they just have to trust Him.

It all sounds so simple, but it's so much more difficult to live.

Why do we struggle with this?

I think it comes down to what we're looking for. We often have a pre-decided picture of what we need. We're looking only for that, and, in doing so, we miss out on everything else God may be doing to provide.

The disciples in the feeding of the 5,000 almost did. They saw only the cost of feeding everyone (verse 7) and the meager offering available (verse 9). The situation seemed impossible for them to solve. Their solution was to send the people away to find food for themselves.

But, Jesus had a different plan in mind. Jesus revealed God as the One who provides for our needs in abundance. But, the disciples had to look beyond what they expected to see it. They had to be willing to see differently.

I wonder if we need to be willing to hold our idea of what God's provision looks like with open hands. If we need to be willing to see God's abundant provision outside what we think it should look like.

Where do you need God to provide?

Are you struggling to trust Him?

Have you pre-decided what God's provision has to look like?

Are you willing to let that go?

How can you practice being open to God's provision looking different than you thought it would?

Distrusting God?

"We distrust God when we are fearful of losing control. When we try to take control we ultimately leave no room for God to be God." (Lysa TerKeurst, Trustworthy)

Those were the first two sentence that started the Bible study I was working on that day. And they hit me like a sucker punch in the gut.

I'd spent most of the week leading up to that day living fearful of losing control in a part of my life. My ability to imagine the worst case scenario outcome of something had been racing ahead of reality for days. And I was exhausted because of it.

Living in fear of losing control is exhausting. 

Living in a constant state of imagining the worst possible outcome of a situation is exhausting.

And I knew that.

But, until I read those words, I hadn't connected them to my current situation.

The part of those words that hit the hardest was that my fear of losing control was actually distrusting God. I don't usually think of all of my efforts to control things as distrust of God. But, as I thought about it more, I realized how true it was.

I had an entire week of studying the lives of a couple less well-known kings of Israel and Judah to really see that. 1 Kings 12 & 13 tell us about the first two kings of the divided kingdom that followed Solomon. Rehoboam, Solomon's son, made some poor choices and the kingdom was divided. 

Jeroboam became king over the 10 tribes of the northern kingdom of Israel. And, he began to make decisions that revealed his distrust in God and his fear of losing control. These choices led Israel into idolatry and turning away from God.

It can be easy to read this and think we won't do that. We're not kings and we're likely not going to build golden calves for people to worship. That may be true, but when we stop to look at what drives some of our decisions, we may see more similarities than we do at first - at least I did when I read it.

1 Kings 12:26-27 says:

Jeroboam thought to himself, "The kingdom will now likely revert to the house of David. If these people go up to offer sacrifices at the temple of the Lord in Jerusalem, they will give their allegiance to the their lord, Rehoboam, king of Judah. They will kill me and return to king Rehoboam.

Jeroboam was afraid of losing control of the people and that led him to make choices that proved he didn't really trust God. Those choices led him and Israel astray.

But, Jeroboam had a promise from God (see 1 Kings 11:29-40), that he could trust. When things stopped going clearly as he though they would, Jeroboam reacted in fear of losing control and revealed his distrust in God.

How often do we do the same thing in our own lives?

This is exactly what I'd been doing in the week leading up to this realization. And, as I studied the outcome of it, I knew it wasn't where I wanted to stay. I had to make a choice to trust God with what I can't control. I had to let go of the fear of losing control. And I still have to choose that everyday in this area of my life right now. But, I know it's the best choice.

Is there an area of your life where your fear of losing control means you are not trusting God?

What would it look like to trust God in this area of your life today?

When it Feels Like Your Prayer Isn't Being Answered

 Have you ever prayed for God to move in a situation only to feel like God didn't answer?

Have you ever asked God to heal someone and it seems like that healing doesn't come?

I'd say we can probably all answer yes to these questions. And answering yes, sometimes makes it hard to be bold enough to ask for anything else in our prayers.

But, what if I told you that God has answered those prayers you've prayed. 

How do you react to that? Does it bring you relief? Or do you have a list of situations where you're sure God didn't answer come immediately to mind?

If you can, put those objections to the side for a few minutes. Ask yourself these questions:

When I prayed, did I ask for God to work His will or did I pray that He would do exactly what I wanted, the way I wanted Him to do it?

Did I look for God to answer only exactly the way I thought He would? Or did I ask for evidence of Him at work?

This doesn't mean we don't pray bold prayers. It doesn't mean we don't ask God to heal people. But, we also keep ourselves open to God answering in ways we didn't expect.

We have a discussion about this at a Bible study I'm part of recently. We'd all had times when we prayed for God to do something only He could do and it felt like He hadn't answered. But, when we really started talking about at least some of the those times, we could see that God did work. It just didn't look exactly like we thought it should.

So, what happens then? How do we reconcile this with what Scripture says?

Jesus tells us to ask and He says that He will respond.

Matthew 7:7-11 says:

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks the door will be opened.

Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will you Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!"

It would be easy to read these verses and decide that God just gives us what we ask for exactly how we want it. And, while we often wouldn't say it out loud, we think this way and it's what leads to the disappointment when we feel like our prayers aren't being answered.

But, when we make that assumption, we miss something about what Jesus is saying here - something important.

Jesus is saying that the gifts God gives are good - often better than we imagine.

But, when we've decided how the answer to our prayer should look, we may miss out on how God is answering it - in His much better way. God's much better way may look different than what we would consider an answer. And we can miss it if we're only looking for a specific answer.

A few years ago, in a podcast I was listening to, I heard someone say, "God always answers our prayers for healing." They paused here for effect... and I got annoyed. They went on to say, "Sometimes that healing comes on earth and sometimes it doesn't come until the person needing healing is in heaven." We don't like that idea. We want the healing now. We want the family member, friend, restored. We don't want to lose them. But, there's truth to that. Healing on earth may not look like we expect, but it will be God's better plan.

I've been wrestling with this a lot recently. I have a few prayers that I have been praying for a while - some for a year, some for years longer than that - and it doesn't seem like God is answering them. But, when I became intentional about looking for how God might be working in ways I didn't expect, I began to see things I didn't see before. I saw how God was working. I may not see the results I want, but I can trust God that He is working. And that gives me boldness to keep praying those prayers.

So, where do you need to let go of your picture of what an answer to your prayer should look like and instead look for the ways God might be moving instead?

What is Hope?

 Hope . . .

What does it mean?

How do you hold onto it when it seems to be taken away regularly?

Is there a place we can actually place our hope that won't fail or disappoint us?

These are questions I asked in a post a few weeks ago.

I didn't have answers then, but they were questions that were pulling me to dig into Scripture to look for answers. I've spent the last few weeks looking at all the places in Scripture I could find the word hope - looking for answers to my questions.

I actually started with looking up the dictionary definition of hope.

The definition, according to Merriam-Webster dictionary, was actually much broader than I expected. I realized that when we use it in our everyday lives, the problem doesn't come from the way we define it; it comes from somewhere deeper.

I've tried to figure out to summarize the definition I found and I couldn't. So I am going to share the definition here. (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hope)

intransitive verb

1 :to cherish a desire with anticipation :to want something to happen or be true

transitive verb

1 :to desire with expectation of obtainment or fulfillment

2 :to expect with confidence

noun

1 :desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment

     also :expectation of fulfillment or success

2 :someone or something on which hopes are centered

3 :something desired or hoped for

All of that seemed like what I hear and what I've talked and thought about when it comes to hope. So, there has to be something about it that we're still missing.

Why does the Bible talk about hope as being something we can be sure of?

If there's one thing we've learned as a whole in the last couple years, it's how quickly hope for something can disappear and we're left disappointed - trying to pick up the pieces again. Yes, as I read what the Bible has to say about hope, it seemed to point to something more stable, more sure.

As I was studying this, I found a definition of hope in my Bible dictionary that I found helpful. It says:

"Hope is a characteristic of genuine faith in God. Such hope is different from the hope people in general might speak of. It is not a mere wish for something, but a strong confidence that is placed in God." (Bridgeway Bible Dictionary, page 180)

That makes sense with my thoughts about it comes down to where we place our hope. 

The things that have disappointed and been suddenly yanked away in the last couple years are the things of this earth.

But God hasn't changed.

His Word hasn't changed.

His promises haven't changed.

So, a hope placed in God can't be taken away by something that happens in this world.

This is what gave the early Christians the boldness and the confidence to stand in the face of the opposition they faced. The book of Acts and Paul's letters are full of these declarations.

Near the end of his life and ministry, Paul says there words:

"And now it is because of my hope in what God has promised our ancestors that I am on trial today." (Acts 6:26)

We only have to skim a few of Paul's letters to the early church to know the price that he paid while holding onto this hope. There was something compelling about hope in what God has promised that kept Paul going, even in the face of difficult circumstances on earth.

So, I guess it all comes back to where we're placing our hope.

If it's in the things of this world, then we're going to find our hope easily shattered.

But, if it's in the things of God, then I can hold onto it no matter what this world brings our way.

It doesn't somehow make everything easy to place our hope in God and His promises. Life is still hard. But, it makes it possible not to lose all hope.

Growing Through Challenge or Yearning for "Normal"

 "I'm just waiting for things to go back to normal."

"Can we ever go back to normal."

"I wish things were normal again."

You've probably though, or even said, those words or something like them in the last five months. You're probably heard them from other many times.

We're living in a world that's been turned upside-down by something we can't even see. Our normal has been taken away. Everything feels strange.

And we're struggling with that.

I know I am. All I want to do is go to a gathering with friends and give them all long hugs. And, for someone who doesn't usually often struggles in large group gatherings and doesn't just hug everyone, that says a lot. If I'm feeling this way, I know lots of others are too.

We just want normal back.

We talk about a new normal. About what it might look like. What it might mean. How we can manage.

But it's not what we really want.

When you get beneath it all, we're longing for normal. For how things used to be.

Before I go on, let me be clear on one thing: I'm not here to debate whether we have a new normal. I'm not going to debate the choices made or not made. While our current reality has prompted some of the thoughts in this post, I'm not writing about opinions on it. You can agree or disagree, but this is not the place to debate that. I will delete all comments along those lines without notice or comment from me.

Whatever happens, there is one thing we know, this has changed and will continue to change us all. Just as any difficult time will do. When we walk through something hard, we will come out of it different than we were when we entered in.

I've been reading Beth Moore's newest book Chasing Vines and working on the study that goes with it. A couple days ago, I read a chapter that challenged me on how hard times change us. In the book, Beth writes:

"When we're going through a difficult season, wouldn't the best news of all be that life would simply go back to normal someday? When the framework of our daily existence gets completely dismantled and the landscape around us grows increasingly unreliable, our strongest longing is seldom prosperity. What we yearn for is normalcy. We don't tend to ask for the moon when we've lost all we've known. We just want some semblance of our old lives back.

The hard truth is, there's no real going back. But once we get up again, there can be a going forward. In His faithfulness, God sees to it what we thought was the end isn't the end at all. And eventually, perhaps not terribly long after, we realize we transitioned into a new normal."

We can't go back to what was normal before because what we've walked through has changed us. We're not the same person, so even the same things will be different because we've changed.

The danger for us comes when we become so focused on getting back to "normal" we miss God's new in our lives. When we do this, we stop producing any fruit for God's kingdom in our lives.

A little later in the same chapter, Beth writes:

"But in time, finding fruitfulness again will make more difference than you can imagine. If we can't have our treasured yesterday back, at least tomorrow can matter. The wonder of fruit bearing is that something meaningful can come from the meanest of seasons. What we endured matters."

If we allow God to work through our hard times, He will produce something beautiful in our lives. That is always His plan. But, we can't hold onto and keep looking for what once was.

So, how do we do this? How do we move through hard seasons and allow God to bring something beautiful out of them?

In the Bible study that goes along with the book, Beth writes:

"It is human nature to focus on what has changed in our lives and to long for what we once had. But when we're faced with the pain and anxiety of loss and change, perhaps we should fix our minds on what remains the same in our lives. God is constant even when our circumstances are not."

We get through and begin to live the new life God has for us by fixing our eyes on Him. He doesn't change no matter our circumstances.

So, where are your eyes fixed right now?

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." - 2 Corinthians 4:18

"Therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith." - Hebrews 12:1-2

When Words Hold You Back

"How can you pray for me when my prayer need is about my marriage and you've never been married?"

It's a question I was asked about 15 years ago, as I was part of a prayer team. And a question I've never forgotten.

I don't remember how I answered that night. But I did pray for this person.

And then it took another 10 years before I allowed myself to be in a position like that again.

I walked away from that conversation doubting whether I could or should step into what I felt like God was calling me to. I questioned if I should wait until I was married to step into ministry outside of with children and youth. I questioned if I was even allowed to be involved in adult ministry before I was married, or at least had many, many more decades of life experience.

I never told anyone about this experience. I never voiced my doubts or questions to anyone. I just held onto them. I was held back for years by this one question I was asked. I don't remember who said those words, but they had a profound impact on my life for years.

I wonder what stories you could tell about the impact of someone's words on your life. The impact could be good or it could hold us back. The challenge is that we're more likely to remember the words that us to question and doubt, the words that hold us back.

That's what happened to me. I know at the same time as I heard the words above, there were words spoken to me that encouraged and affirmed me in stepping out. But, I don't remember those words clearly. In the presence of doubt, they quickly lost their power.

If you've made it this far into the post, I wonder is you relate?

As you've read my experience maybe your own experience has come to mind.

What are the words that have been spoken over you or to you that have held you back?

What are the experiences in your past that have made you decide to stay back in the shadows rather than stepping into what you know God is prompting you to do?

There is good news. We don't have to live by these words and experiences. We can live free of them.

I know it's possible, because it's been my experience. It takes a choice to do the work of changing your thinking and learn what the truth is, what God says about you. But it is possible.

It starts with exactly where my questions have brought you. We have to start with acknowledging the words and experiences. We're often not aware of them, so we ask God to show us.

Once we're aware and acknowledge them, healing begins. We ask God to speak His truth the those lies we've been believing. Then we regularly remind ourselves of the truth until we actually believe it. And we step out and do what we've been hiding from. 

I still remember the first night I put myself back in a similar role - praying for people who requested it. I made a commitment to do it and stepped back in. Choosing to believe the truth that God wanted me there and He would equip me for it.

So, what do you do next?

Ask God for His truth to believe, instead of the lies that's been holding you back.

Remind yourself of the truth regularly. Keep doing it until you start believing it.

Step in. Do it with shaky hands and a quivering voice. But do it.

If you're overwhelmed or not sure how to move on, talk to someone. Tell them your story about what happened, what was said that is holding you back. Ask them to pray for you. Ask them to help you take the first step.

Hiding

"I'm not good at . . . "

"I'm not gifted at . . . "

"I don't do . . . "

"I'm not qualified to do . . . "

You can fill in the blank with all sorts of different things. 

The specifics are probably different for each of us. But the theme of what we're saying is the same.

We look at others and decide we don't measure up. They're better at it than us. They're more qualified than we are. They've been gifted by God for something and we haven't been.

Or, maybe, we've been silenced by the words of others. The words might have been very direct, or they might have been more subtle than that. But however they were delivered, they've had the result of silencing us and stopping us.

So we believe the lie and make excuses for why we can't or won't or shouldn't do something. We actually start to believe it. 

This has been something I've done for a lot of my life. I let past experiences and words spoken decide what I could and couldn't do. I compared myself to others and decided I didn't measure up. 

I've had to learn to believe the truth of what God says about me above anything else. To step into what He has for me, no matter what. Even when it puts me in a place where I feel vulnerable.

Being vulnerable makes us step back. It makes us hide. It reinforces our reasons why we can't and the lives we believe. But, this is exactly when we need to step into what God has for us.

I've been reading a book recently that has challenged me more in this. There's a part I read earlier today that really challenged me.

"Don't anesthetize your passion. Don't devalue the vulnerability you feel when you lead. Don't dismiss your vulnerability, your emotion, your tears as a sign of incompetence and disqualify yourself. Your voice doesn't need to be polished; it needs to be real, raw, and brave. And present." (Jo Saxton, Ready to Rise)

Where are you hiding?

Where are you silenced?

Where do you need to step into what God has for you?

Brave?

Brave.

I see that word from almost everywhere in my house. It's written on the chalkboard hanging by my reading chair.

Brave.

The word God gave for 2020 in January.

I've struggled with seeing that word written there for the last few months. I definitely haven't felt brave - at least no according to what I've always thought of as brave. I mostly feel like it's just been taking everything I have to keep putting one foot in front of the other. That hardly feels like what comes to mind when I think of the word brave.

A few days ago, I decided to look up what the word actually meant. To see if my thoughts were correct. I was both surprised and encouraged by what I found.

Merriam-Webster Dictionary gives a few different definitions, depending on whether you're using it as an adjective, verb, or noun. They're all related though.

Adjective - having or showing mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty: having or showing courage

Verb - to face or endure with courage

Noun - one with mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty

 

So my thoughts of brave referring to someone who boldly steps into danger weren't wrong, but they were incomplete. Brave doesn't only mean that. Sometimes it can mean just keeping going and moving forward in the face of fear, anxiety, or uncertainty. 

As I dug into how the word brave is used in Scripture, I was challenged in my understanding of the word. Depending on the translation you uses, the same word is sometimes rendered as brave and sometimes as courage or courageous.

I noticed on important thing that changed everything for me. In the majority of uses I could find, this word was used in reference to trusting in God, to depending on Him.

"Wait for the Lord's help. Be strong and brave, and wait for the Lord's help." (Psalm 27:14, NCV)

"I told you these things so that you can have peace in me. In this world you will have trouble, but be brave! I have defeated the world." (John 16:33, NCV)

"On the day I called to you, you answered me. You made me strong and brave. (Psalm 138:3, NCV)

*see also Psalm 31:24, Joshua 1:7-9, 10:25, Deuteronomy 31:6-7, 1 Thessalonians 2:2

I used the NCV (New Century Version) for this as it specifically uses the word brave - in most of these verses, the NIV uses the word courage or courageous.

This is how Scripture defines brave.

Dependence on God. Trust in God.

Seeing the word brave as I go through my day doesn't feel so out of place anymore.

Changing Perspective

How are you praising God these days?

Are you holding onto the promises of God's presence and peace?

What are you grateful for today?

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."
                                                                               (Phillippians 4:4-7)

These verses have spoken to me often. I've turned to them in many situations where things didn't seem to be going as planned.

When I opened my Bible to read this afternoon, this was the passage that was next. I struggled with the first couple sentences today. If I'm honest, I don't really feel much like rejoicing in anything these days.

But, as I stopped and sat with these familiar verses for a while, I was challenged and encouraged by what God was speaking to me through them. And, while all of what I'm about to say might be familiar to us. I think it's important to remind ourselves of it right now.

Paul isn't talking about rejoicing because our circumstances make sense or things are good. Paul is talking about rejoicing in the Lord. We can rejoice in the Lord because He is God and He is good and He is faithful and He is unchanging. Sometimes, this is a choice. We may not feel like rejoicing in anything, but we choose to praise God for Who He is regardless of our circumstances.

There are promises we can hold onto in this passage:
1) The Lord is near. He has not left us or forgotten us. We can be sure that He is walking through everything that's going on with us.
2) We can have the peace of God to guard our hearts and minds. This isn't a peace based on circumstances, because our circumstances may not be peaceful yet we can still have peace. It's a peace because God is with us. He gives us His peace, which goes beyond anything we can understand in our humanness.

Even though I know these promises are true, I wondered how we can find the peace to replace our anxieties and fears. I wondered how we can live in the reality of these promises instead of the fear and anxiety that comes so easily right now.

In the middle of these verses, we're told we can take everything to God in prayer. He can take it all. But, I think there's two important words in the middle of the instruction to take everything that makes us anxious and afraid to God. Two words that will help us to change our perspective.

What are they?

With Thanksgiving

This changes our perspective. In the midst of fear and anxiety, when we choose to look for things we can be thankful for it changes so much for us. It shifts our focus from all that is wrong, all we're fearful and anxious about, to the good things in the midst of it all.

I was challenged today to be more intentional about things to be grateful for each day. To take the time every day to write down at least three things I'm thankful for from that day.

As I did that today, it didn't remove the current reality. Nothing has changed in our world. But, what I was seeing changed and I was moved to worship, because the God we serve is good and faithful and constant and loving.

Maybe you're struggling with all that's going on too. Can I challenge you? Take a few minutes at the end of the day and write down three things you're thankful for from the day. Look for the good in the midst of the fear and uncertainty of the world.

God's Peace When Life Isn't Peaceful

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in You. Trust in the Lord forever, for the LORD, the LORD is the Rock eternal." (Isaiah 26:3-4)

I've found myself turning to these verses regularly in the last while. A reminder that peace comes from God, and that it's not based on my circumstances.

As 2019 draws to a close and a new year begins, I know a number of people who are facing circumstances that feel anything but peaceful. And that is my own circumstances as well. 2019 was a hard year for lots of people - likely including many of you reading this, as it was for me.

As I write this, I'm looking at the chalkboard I have hanging by my chair - the one where the word God gave me for 2019 is written. The word written on that chalkboard:

PEACE

When I reflect on 2019, it doesn't seem like a year with much, if any, peace. At least when you look at the circumstances of 2019.

But, as I think more about it and as I've learned more about peace over the last 12 months, I've realized that peace isn't about my circumstances. It's not about what happens.

The peace that God has in mind when He gave me this word for 2019 and the peace talked about in Isaiah 26:3-4, isn't based on circumstances. It's a peace that comes in the middle of often challenging circumstances. It's a peace that comes when we choose to surrender and trust when things don't make any sense.

In Isaiah 9, we are told that Jesus would be called the Prince of Peace when He came. It sounds great and beautiful. And it's true - He is the Prince of Peace.

But, the circumstances Jesus was born into and lived in, were anything but peaceful. One only has to read Matthew 2 and the events around the wise men coming and their conversation with King Herod to know the violence and upheaval that was the time Jesus came to earth. The Prince of Peace wasn't born into a peaceful world.

And He didn't live and minister in a peaceful world either. The truth is, there are times when I look at the way Jesus spoke and ministered and it doesn't seem to jive with the idea of Him being the Prince of Peace.

But, that is why the peace God speaks of isn't based on circumstances or on things making sense to us. The peace God speaks of comes in the midst of trial, in the midst of pain, in the midst of confusion.

I'm not sure how to describe it exactly. Putting words to this part of what I've learned over 2019 is proving more difficult than I thought. But it's something that's different than what we usually think of as peace.

As 2019 comes to an end and I move into 2020, my prayer for all is that we would continue to experience God's peace and understand more of what it means. The Prince of Peace has come and He is with us, no matter what we're walking through. His peace is not dependent on our circumstances or on what our world tells us what it is. We do not walk alone. The Prince of Peace goes with us.

All We Need to Live a Godly Life

Are we really able to live godly lives?

"His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness. Through these He has given us His very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires." (2 Peter 1:3-4)

Often it doesn't seem like we have everything we need for a godly life. It feels like what we've been given falls short of that.

Usually, the truth is actually that we haven't chosen to make use of what we've been given. We have a gift we've been given, but it's sitting there, unopened. It looks nice, but that's not what it is meant for. It was meant to be opened and used in our lives.

This gift is God's power in our lives. God has chosen to provide us with His power to live differently, to live a godly life. But, we, far too often, don't allow His power to work in us. We prevent it from doing so, and, as a result, feel weak and completely unable to live the life of godliness we say we desire to live.

God has promised us that we have the ability by His power to live a full, godly life. The problem is us. When we feel like it's impossible to do so it's because we're limited God's power.

Where have you limited God's power in your life?

Are you willing to allow God's power full access in your life?

Shielded by God's Power

". . . This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time." (1 Peter 1:4b-5)

Shielded by God's power

Those words struck me when I read them recently. I think they would have been significant to the original recipients of Peter's letter, just as they are today.

Peter's original recipients were Christians who had been scattered by persecution. They not only needed the reminder of their inheritance to come, the also needed this reminder that God's power shielded, or protected, them. In the midst of circumstances that left then vulnerable and attacked, this would have been a needed encouragement.

While we may not be facing the physical threat these Christians were, we often dealing with a different attack. It can leave us feeling vulnerable. We, too, are shielded by God's power.

Sometimes we don't feel very shielded. I think Peter's original recipients would have felt much the same way. They were still facing persecution and hard times. We still face hard times in our lives.

But, I don't think Peter was speaking of a physical shielding here - not an emotional one either. Peter's words were about being shielded by God's power come in the middle of a section talking about a spiritual inheritance. He's looking beyond the physical.

In the midst of attacks on our spiritual lives, we are shielded by God's power. This is a spiritual protection. We will still know of the attacks our enemy is launching at us, but as long as we choose to come under God's shielding power in those times, we will experience God's protection from those attacks.

This is our choice. We choose, in faith, to place ourselves under God's shield. We choose to hide ourselves under it.

Wisdom from Heaven

What does wisdom from heaven look like?

Is it different from the wisdom of the world?

How is it different?


James 3:13-17 says:

"Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you habour bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such 'wisdom' does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For when you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.
But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere."

James is contrasting the wisdom of the world with wisdom from heaven. They look different from each other. They're complete opposites.

In verses 14-16, James describes the wisdom of the world. The words he uses to describe it are not at all flattering - earthly, unspiritual, demonic, full of envy and selfish ambition. Really the wisdom of the world is all about what's best for you,about getting ahead.

Contrast that with the wisdom from heaven. James writes that it is pure, peace-loving, submissive, considerate, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. That's what I want. It sound much better than the other.

I think the key difference is that wisdom that comes from heaven is for the good of all. Even if it's hard, it is about relationship and building each other up. Whereas the wisdom of the world is all about me - what works for me, what makes me feel good, no matter the cost to anyone else.

This leaves us with a few questions:

Am I pursuing the wisdom of the world, or the wisdom that comes from heaven?

Is there anything in my life interfering with my desire to pursue wisdom from heaven?

What would my life look like if I was pursuing wisdom from heaven?

Lift Your Eyes

We all go through trials in life - times we wish we could avoid or escape from. But, we're told in Scripture to persevere in them and through them. We all see examples in Scripture of people who did exactly that.

James 1:12 says:

"Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love Him."

This is the reason why we endure in trial. We are looking forward to something that is coming. That is where our focus needs to be.

Remembering this lifts our eyes. When things get hard, our eyes often drop. We begin looking down - focusing on ourselves and our circumstances. This focus means everything gets overwhelming and we want o give up more than we want to persevere.

But, when we remember the crown of life promised by God, it lifts our eyes. Our circumstances don't change, but what we're looking at does. When we remember this, our eyes are lifted up and we see Jesus walking with us through our circumstances. This makes it possible to persevere - because we're seeing something beyond the current.

An Important Decision for Me

One of the most important decisions I've made happened sitting in my bedroom in the house I grew up shortly before my 20th birthday.

Maybe that sounds a little dramatic . . . One of the most important decisions??? Really?

When I think about it, I don't see those words as being dramatic. I can't think of any other way I would put it. The decision I made at that time was and still is one of the most important I've made.

What was that decision?

The decision to go to Briercrest.

I was getting close to the end of my second year at business studies at a local college. For the most part things seemed to be going pretty well in my life . . . at least to anyone who saw me. I was in my classes. I was at church most weeks. I was involved with the young adults group at my church.

But, on the inside I was wrestling with a lot of questions and the answers from people at school were beginning to sound more appealing than what I'd heard in church all my life. That last semester had not been going as well as I was trying to make it look, and I had made some choices that I desperately wanted to hide from anyone who knew me.

I knew I needed a change. I was starting down a path I wasn't really sure I wanted to continue on, and I wasn't sure how I would change it if I stayed in the same place as I was. That's where Briercrest was appealing. I could go there and still finish my business degree.

And that's the decision I made that night. I started the application process.

And 5 months later, I was pulling into the parking lot of a school in what seemed like the middle-of-nowhere in Saskatchewan. I really had no idea what to expect from any of that year, or the second year that I spent there.

But, looking back, and seeing the way that decision has shaped who I am and how I live my life, it is still one of the most important I've ever made. I learned more about the Bible, theology, and God there than I've learned in 35 years of being in church. I made friends who are still important in my life today. I grew spiritually in ways I couldn't have imagined. And I had more fun living in community with people than I have in any other environment.

It's been a little more than 15 years since I graduated. Everything about that time has been a part of making me who I am today - of shaping how I do my job and how I serve in my church. I don't regret one minute about the time I spent there, or the money I spent to be there.

Obviously, there are decisions you could say are more important than this one. There are, I don't deny that. But, I also know that, as a part of making me who I am today, it was incredibly important. I can't say where I'd be if I had stayed where I was and finished my business degree at the local college. I still could have ended up where I am today, but the path would have looked different. I'm grateful for the way mine went and wouldn't have changed it for anything.

This is what I do know . . . if you ask me if you should go to Briercrest or another Bible college, I won't hesitate to say yes. I'll even go so far as to say that everyone should go if it's at all possible.

Seeing God in the Middle of Not Being Okay

Everything is going good, until it isn't. Often with very little warning, or indication of the reason why. Very suddenly, life is not what it was before. Getting out of bed, getting out of the house, getting anything done becomes an overwhelming thought. But, life goes on, and somehow I must figure out a way to keep going with it.

These words describe the reality of what living with an anxiety disorder looks like. At least for me, and some others I have talked to. But, I also know it's different for others, as anxiety disorders are a pretty broad category and everyone's experience of it is different.

But, it is a reality I've been living the last week or so. It's happened before and I'm sure it will happen again. Each time with a few more tools to use to get through the time than I had the last time. Sometimes these times last only a day; sometimes they could linger for weeks.

For a long time, I didn't tell people what was going on, because I wasn't sure I could handle however they responded. But, I've learned over the last few years that the right people will respond with love and support. And, I've realized how much I need those people in the times when I'm not okay.

This is probably the first time I've attempted to write a blog post in the midst of it. It can be challenging to make sure my words make sense in the middle of the chaos in my head right now. Some might even wonder why I would try and why I would share this now. I haven't done it in the past for exactly those reasons. But this time, I'm feeling compelled to do so.

I think this place I'm in right now is a place we don't talk about much because it's unresolved. I don't have a lesson I've learned from it to share yet. I don't know how it's going to end. I can't relay how God has used it for His glory yet.

But, I wonder if those are sometimes exactly what we need to talk more about. When we only talk about the end result, I wonder if we actually miss what God is doing. I wonder if we miss the beauty that is still there when things are unresolved and all we can do is cling to God and trust that He has plan to use it, even when we couldn't possibly see how yet.

So, let this be my encouragement to you today if you're in the middle of an unresolved and messy time: Look for the beauty of God in it now. Don't wait until you get to the other side to look for it.

I'm not saying it's easy to do. It's not something that will come naturally. But, I'm being reminded again now, that it changes everything when we look for God in it before we see the end. It's worth the effort, and it makes it possible to get through the messy times when we're not okay.