Hiding

"I'm not good at . . . "

"I'm not gifted at . . . "

"I don't do . . . "

"I'm not qualified to do . . . "

You can fill in the blank with all sorts of different things. 

The specifics are probably different for each of us. But the theme of what we're saying is the same.

We look at others and decide we don't measure up. They're better at it than us. They're more qualified than we are. They've been gifted by God for something and we haven't been.

Or, maybe, we've been silenced by the words of others. The words might have been very direct, or they might have been more subtle than that. But however they were delivered, they've had the result of silencing us and stopping us.

So we believe the lie and make excuses for why we can't or won't or shouldn't do something. We actually start to believe it. 

This has been something I've done for a lot of my life. I let past experiences and words spoken decide what I could and couldn't do. I compared myself to others and decided I didn't measure up. 

I've had to learn to believe the truth of what God says about me above anything else. To step into what He has for me, no matter what. Even when it puts me in a place where I feel vulnerable.

Being vulnerable makes us step back. It makes us hide. It reinforces our reasons why we can't and the lives we believe. But, this is exactly when we need to step into what God has for us.

I've been reading a book recently that has challenged me more in this. There's a part I read earlier today that really challenged me.

"Don't anesthetize your passion. Don't devalue the vulnerability you feel when you lead. Don't dismiss your vulnerability, your emotion, your tears as a sign of incompetence and disqualify yourself. Your voice doesn't need to be polished; it needs to be real, raw, and brave. And present." (Jo Saxton, Ready to Rise)

Where are you hiding?

Where are you silenced?

Where do you need to step into what God has for you?

Sometimes we Have to Take a Risk

When was the last time you took a risk?

When did you last step out and do something you felt God was asking you to do when you had not guarantee of the outcome?

Rebekah Lyons, end her book Rhythms of Renewal (releasing Oct 1, 2019) by talking about taking risks. This is part of what she calls the rhythm of create.

I'm not a risk-taker. I like to stay where it's safe and only engage in things when I know the outcome. I tell myself that's the best choice. But, it's also a way to miss out on what God is asking me to do.

Rebekah outs it this way:

"Taking a risk may be the hardest thing you'll ever do, but it's the only way we partner with God in creating good and beautiful things."

And I know this is true. The times I've taken risks and stepped out without knowing how it would turn out have had this result. That doesn't mean it's easy though.

But, there is something I've learned. As Rebekah puts it:

"The call and assignment of God is never possible without God."

We weren't created to do it on our own. When God asks us to take a risk, it will look impossible from our perspective; but with God it's not.

As she wraps up the book, Rebekah reminds us of an important thing:

"There is nothing more beautiful that finding strength on the other side of yes. It's not a strength of doing, but one of being. Being in the center of his will."

Often this is something we only find when we take the risk. When we step out in the calling and assignment God has given us that is impossible without Him. When we say yes to the risk it changes everything.

This is something I have lived. About 7 years ago, I knew God was telling me He wanted me to lead a women's Bible study. This was the last thing on my mind as something I would ever do. How was I going to talk to a group of people about anything, when I had never been able to do so before? I was quite happy to just keep being the quiet one at the table who said very little. But, God had other plans, and He used a couple of key people in my life to convince me to take the risk and try it. I've never looked back. And I know it's not possible for me to do what I'm doing without Him.

What is the risk God is asking you to take?

Are you willing to step into it?

Are You Letting Fear Kill Your Dreams?

"If we're more impressed with bad men, than a good God, fear will kill our dreams." - Gary Haugen

I was at the Global Leadership Summit last week and the words that I opened this post with have been stuck in my mind ever since. They were spoken by the speaker from the closing session - Gary Haugen, founder and president of International Justice Mission.

The entire closing session was on fear and how it can destroy any dream we have if we allow it to. No matter what our training or our knowledge or our dream, fear can completely destroy us. Haugen then went on to talk about how we can stand against fear and not allow us to destroy our dream.

This is when he said the words I opened this post with.

"If we're more impressed with bad men, than a good God, fear will kill our dreams."

When God has given us a dream, something He's asking us to do, whether we are actually able to do it or not depends on where we're looking and on who we're walking with. 

We can look at the size of the dream and all that could go wrong, and allow our fear to take over. We can look at all of those who oppose our dream, and allow fear to destroy us.

OR . . .

We can look at the God Who gave us the dream, and move forward on it. We can choose to surround ourselves with people who will encourage us and help us keep our focus on God, and move forward on it.

I've been challenged the last few days, with these thoughts about fear, and where I'm focusing.

"If we're more impressed with bad men, than a good God, fear will kill our dream."

Where are you focused?

On what could go wrong?

Or on what could go right?

Keep your eyes on our good God and surround yourself with people doing the same thing, and you'll be able to move forward in the dream, the calling, that God has given you.

Learning to Love the Life you didn't Plan On

Growing up, I had a plan for what my life would be like. What would happen when. They encouraged me to do this in school. But, even the best made plans don't always come to fruition.

I was going through a box of old journals recently and read one of those pages where I had planned our what my life after high school would look like. As I read it, I was struck by how different from that plan my life today actually is.

My plans when I was in high school had me finishing my business degree in four years, getting a job at an accounting firm and getting my designation as an accountant in three years following that. In my plan, I would have gotten married in that time and have kids once I finished all the other.

My reality started out according to that plan. I did get my business degree after four years. But, that's as much as it went according to my plan. I'm not an accountant. I'm not married. But, I have a job I love and I have the freedom to be involved in things I love at my church.

For a long time I struggled with not having the life I had so carefully planned in high school. When people talked to me about making that plan, they seemed to imply that it would happen - even if that wasn't what they intended. So, when things didn't go according to my plan, I wondered what I had done wrong in making my plan.

A couple years ago, I came to the realization that I was missing out on a lot of good stuff God had planned for me, because I was still holding on to that plan I had. I had to get to the point of surrendering my plan to God, so I could embrace His - whatever it might look like.

As I began walking that journey of letting go of my plans and embracing God's, my perspective changed. Instead of seeing what I didn't have and wishing for it, I started to see everything I did have. All the things God has blessed me with - many of which I'd been missing for a long time.

It doesn't mean I don't still want some of those things that were in my original plan, but it does mean I'm not focused on them to the exclusion of what I have been given. It's a balance, and I often find I've wandered to one side or the other. But, as I learn to be grateful for all that God has blessed me with, I'm learning to love the life I have while still having things I desire.

A Letter to a Younger Me

In a few places lately, I've come across letters people wrote to their younger self - the most recent time being over at The Single Woman. It's interesting to read their thoughts of what they would tell their younger self and it's prompted my own thoughts on the topic.

I've been thinking about what I would write to my younger self - specifically myself ten years ago. Ten years ago, I was just finishing up my second to last semester of college. I was five months away from graduating with a business degree. I had my plans for the future - plans that were ultimately different than my reality now. There was nothing wrong with them; they just weren't what God had for me.


Dear Younger Self,

Right now, you're looking at your graduation date with excitement and a bit of fear for what the future will hold. The culmination of four years of hard work. You have plans for the kind of job you're going to get, to get married. All of them are good things, but don't hold on so tightly to them that you miss God's plans for you. He has some things in store for you that you could never dream of on your own.

Take the time to enjoy your last semester of school. Go deep in your classes. Soak in all you can learn. It will be a long time before you can embrace studying and learning this way again.

Invest in the friendships you have with those in the dorm. Don't take your studies too seriously to go on adventures with them and have those late night conversations. Some of the friendships you are investing in now, will continue to be important ones in future years. They're the people you will call when life gets hard and you need encouragement or advice. Take the time now to go deep in those friendships.

Some of those friendships will drift apart after you all move on from living in dorm together. Invest the time you have in those friendships now anyway. Those people are in your life for a reason right now. They will impact your life now for the future. You will become who you are going to be, in part, because of the time you spend together now.

You have your plans for what you want to do for a career and where you want to serve at church when you go home. Be willing to allow God to take you in a different direction - to show you something different. You'll save yourself so much frustration and boredom if you go with God in His direction right away - rather than fight for your way. Don't hold onto your plans too tightly. Let God change them.

Your plan to get married and have a family of your own won't happen in this time frame of ten years. You'll have two choices in how you deal with this: 1) You can get frustrated with waiting and stop living life because you don't have what you want. Or, 2) You can choose to live life to the full, to do what you love and what God has given you to do, all while still longing to get married. It's your choice what you do, but one will give you a life of meaning and one will give you a life of regrets.

Your life in ten years is going to look very different than you imagine it will right now. But, you will know God's faithfulness in a way you can't understand right now. Whatever happens, don't allow the storms of life to cause you to doubt or turn away from God. Keep holding on to God and trusting Him with your future. You'll never regret doing that.

Sincerely,
Your Older Self

Pursue a Dream

As I thought about what to post for this day, I found that I was going back and reading some things I had posted since I started this blog. Sometimes when things to write about don't seem to be coming, I find that old posts inspire me. What I found this time, is that one of the posts was the one I wanted to share today.

I originally posted this on November 19, 2011. It's about pursuing our dreams and the excuses we make for not doing so. But, the reality that we can make all the excuses we want, but we have to choose to pursue our dreams even though everything doesn't seem to be right for doing so.

So here's the post I wrote then. May it encourage and challenge you in pursuing your own dreams.

---------------

A couple of days ago, I read a quote that challenged me and made me think. It talked about putting dreams on hold when we have things to work on in our lives.

"One of the lessons I have learned in six and a half decades of life is that very few dreams should go on hold while you improve the shortcomings of your life. ... To be sure, there are times when you need to stop what you are doing and focus on conquering a flaw. But of you wait till all your shortcomings are remedied, you dreams will die. All our advances are with a limp.
If you wait till you are beyond criticism to pursue your dream, you will never do it. You won't marry or stay married. You won't decide to have children or raise them. You won't take your first job or keep it. You won't go into missions or stay there. ... Few things paralyze people more than their own imperfections. And there are always people around to remind you of your flaws and suggest you can't move forward until you're better." (John Piper, Bloodlines)

When I read that, it seemed like all my excuses for not pursuing my dreams were shot down in a couple of paragraphs. How often do we do exactly that? We have a list of things in our lives that we feel we have to fix before we can even begin to think about pursuing our dreams.

And the reality is that when we think that way, we often don't ever get around to pursuing our dreams. We just continue to have more things we need to work on. Or the time it takes us to feel like we have actually fixed anything is just long enough that we lose enough of the excitement for our dream that we don't follow through on pursuing it.

The sentence from the quote that seemed to jump off the page at me was: "All our advances are with a limp." There is incredible truth in that statement. We don't move forward in life perfectly. As we pursue our dreams, we will make mistakes and we discover things about ourselves that we need to change or "fix." We do move forward with a limp. The important thing is that we do move forward.

What are your dreams? Are you pursuing them? Why are you not pursuing them? What would it take for you to begin to pursue them?