Including Singles in Our Discussions About Sexuality

 Why is it that all of our conversations about sex & intimacy in the church we talk almost exclusively about marriage?

Statistics show that the number of single adults sitting in our church pews is growing & could be as high as half the people in some settings. So, when we only talk about these topics in relation to marriage, we're actually telling a significant number of people listening the topic doesn't apply to them. We're excluding them, while they're sitting in front of us.

I know I'll get pushback that those words sound harsh. But, they're true & I couldn't think of another way to say it.

When we talk about sex & intimacy exclusively in relation to marriage we're excluding a significant number of people who are sitting right there.

Hear me on this: I'm not saying we shouldn't talk about it in marriage. That's an important part of God's design & what Scripture says. We have to make that teaching clear in a world that is confused about it. But, it can't be all we say.

I've been thinking a lot lately about why this happens in churches so frequently, because I don't think it's intentional, or something we typically realize. In doing so, I realized that every teaching I've heard on this has come from someone who is married & most of them got married fairly young. All the teaching has been well-studied & clear, but, truthfully, those teaching don't have a frame of reference for what it's like to be single long past when they got married & still have sexual desire, or single again when that wasn't the plan. Nothing against them. Not angry at anyone for that. It's simply a fact that has an influence on the discussion & the teaching they present.

I don't know why I've never heard an older Christian single teach or talk about this. My guess is that we feel a bit uncomfortable with the topic, so we don't talk much about unmet sexual desire in the church. We know there's a problem with our culture's solutions, but we're hesitant to really engage in the conversation because it makes us uncomfortable or embarrassed - or, depending on the messaging around this topic we received growing up, ashamed.

But, I've been feeling for a while that we need to start the conversation. And, in the fall, I was in a setting where my pastor acknowledged the singles in the room & that there were different challenges while talking about this. In the two minutes he took to say something, I felt seen in the conversation. But, I also realized that those of us who have been single longer have to start the conversation.

So, the next handful of posts are going to attempt to start tackling this topic. Not a direction I ever thought I would be going, but it feels necessary.

Seeing People as God Sees Them

 What do you see when you past an unhoused person in your community?

Who do you see in the people involved in the drug deal you saw happen across the parking lot?

Do you try to ignore or walk more quickly past the person doing drugs on the sidewalk?

How do you react when someone whose behaviour doesn't fall in the boxes of what's normal walks into the space you are in?

I've had a few conversations recently that made me think about questions like these. They're not easy questions to think about or answer.

We all have an initial reaction. And I would guess that for most of us, it's a pretty judgemental response. Even as someone who works at an organization where we interact with those who are unhoused, people struggling with addiction and mental health challenges, and those whose lives don't fall within society's norms, I can be pretty quickly judgemental of what I see.

But, God is gracious enough to remind me that every person I see, no matter what their life looks like has value and is loved and is far more than what others see.

He reminds me as I hand a cheque to someone I grew up with, knowing they're going to go straight to the cheque-cashing place down the block to cash it to buy drugs. The money belongs to this person, so I have to give it to them. As I do, I remember how they found the humor and made everyone laugh all the time growing up.

God reminds me as I run into someone else I grew up with and they thank me for how I handled our last interaction. The last time I saw them they were very drunk and stumbling. I didn't push them away; instead, I wrapped my arms around them in a hug as they fell towards me. They didn't remember our conversation from that day, but they remembered that I put my plans aside and grabbed a couple coffees and sat with them while we waited for a safe ride home for them.

I didn't see in the moment of these situations how God was gracious to me in them. If you'd asked me at the time, I would have told you that I wished they hadn't happened. But, in the last few years, I've become incredibly grateful for these interactions, because they've taught me a life-changing lesson.

Genesis 1:26-27 says:

"Then God said, 'Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness' . . .So God created mankind in His own image, in the image of God He created them."

All of humanity is created in the image of God. It's part of our DNA. It's part of who we are.

The fall has buried that. It's difficult to see in probably most of the people you see on a daily basis. But it changes everything when we remember that.

These two people I grew up with were created in the image of God and they're loved by God.

The person who is unhoused is created in the image of God and they're loved by God.

The people involved in the drug deal are created in the image of God and they're loved by God.

The person struggling with addiction is created in the image of God and they're loved by God.

The person whose behaviour doesn't fit in is created in the image of God and they're loved by God.

When I remind myself that every single person I see in a day is created in the image of God and loved by God, it changes my thoughts and, as a result, it changes my actions. I don't look at certain people with disgust; I see them with compassion and love, as people who are worthy of respect simply because they're people created in the image of God and loved by God. I no longer wish harsh realities or death on people.

Instead of seeing the things that are easy to judge people for, I begin to look for glimpses of who God created them to be and call them out in them- even as they struggle and circumstances may not change.

So, I leave you with the question I'm continuing to wrestle with: How would you see and treat people, who you normally judge, differently if you reminded yourself that everyone is created in the image of God and loved by God?

"A Holly, Jolly Christmas"

 I was listening to one of my Christmas albums as I drove home from errands a couple of days ago. The lyrics to one of the songs made me stop and think a bit. 

"Have a holly, jolly Christmas, 

It's the best time of the year

Now I don't know if there'll be snow

But have a cup of cheer.

. . .

Have a holly, jolly Christmas

And in case you didn't hear

Oh, by golly

Have a holly, jolly Christmas this year."

It's a fun song. There's nothing wrong with it, in terms of what it says.

But, as I listened, I realized this was the first time in a few years that I hadn't skipped over the song as soon as it started. A "holly, jolly Christmas" was not something I felt was possible the last few years. I was still grieving the loss of my Grandma, and Christmas was full of things that reminded me of her. Christmas was hard, and while there were really good moments, it was definitely not a "holly, jolly Christmas."

As I kept listening to the song, I started to reflect on how many of our Christmas songs are all about having a great time, about laughter, about joy. There's nothing wrong with any of that. Those are good things and the songs are good.

And we argue about whether we should wish someone a "merry Christmas" or "happy holidays" or something along those lines. But, the sentiment of what we argue about saying is all the same thing to people. They're about joy and happiness and good times.

Except that's not the reality of a lot of people. Life isn't full of joy and happiness. It's hard. It's painful. It's messy. There's family conflict, and serious illness, and loss that are part of it. And, the Christmas season doesn't remove those things or suddenly make them easier. Often, it actually makes them more difficult.

And, as I reflect on the original Christmas story, I wonder if our focus on the joy and happiness to the exclusion of everything else, is a bit misplaced. Things were not easy for God's people at the time that Jesus came. They were living under the control of the Roman empire. They lived in poverty and oppression. This is what Jesus was born into.

Yes, Mary and Joseph trusted God and moved forward with the parts He had given them in His plan. Yes, the shepherds came and worshipped and shared the news as they left. Yes, the wise men came from the faraway land with gifts to worship Jesus the King.

But, Jesus coming didn't erase the other facts of their lives. Jesus coming didn't mean that they weren't still living under the rule of the Roman empire. 

Jesus entered into the pain of the people. He met them in it. We see that all through His ministry in the gospels. 

And, maybe we can being to do that. We can worship in the midst of the pain and the struggle. We can see all that Jesus coming brought, without having to pretend to be happy, or that our hard circumstances don't exist.

Alongside the songs about having "a holly, jolly Christmas" we can have the lament. The cries of pain. The cries of "Come Thou Long Expected Jesus." Neither one option or the other is adequate on it's own. We need them both alongside each other. 

And we need to allow both the joy and lament at this time of year. It's not a merry Christmas for everyone, and that's okay. We can and should allow for all that comes with this time of year.

Let's Stop Pretending we Have it All Together All the Time

We all need permission to not have it all together all the time. But, we don't usually feel like we have it.

This post was prompted by a song by a dear friend of mine on this same idea. As I listened to the song on the way home from work today, I was struck by what it said. God was using it to remind me and encourage me about some things I've been struggling with lately.

The truth is that we all need to feel like we have permission to be broken. We need to know it's okay to not be okay, to need each other, to let our brokenness be seen by others.

But, we don't usually operate this way. We try to cover it up, to pretend everything is good.

I've spent a lot of time in the last few days thinking about why we do this.

Why do we try so hard to hide our brokenness?

Why do we work so hard to look like everything is good?

It seems to me that we've gotten our thinking messed up here. We've believed the lie that we have to have it all together. That we have to be okay. That we have to be able to do it all, balance it all. And look good while doing it.

But then I look at Scripture and I see something very different presented. Galatians 6:2 tells us we should carry one another's burdens. We carry one another's burdens if we're busy trying to make it look like we've got it all together. To be able to carry each other's burdens we have to share what they are. And that means letting others know we're broken.

I was reminded of this last weekend. As I sat in my house at church online, I found that I was unable to sing the words to one of the songs. That song was declaring God's goodness. While I still absolutely believe God is goo, I was struggling with that in the moment.

And I realized I hadn't been letting anyone see or hear that struggle for a couple weeks. I had been working hard to present an image of having it all together in every situation, even though I was often barely holding on and getting through. All because I thought that's what I needed to do.

In that moment, I clicked on the option to ask for prayer and told the person who responded about my struggle. I gave myself permission to be broken and to let another person see it. And the response was full of grace and love.

That simple click and choosing to share changed so much.

It didn't instantly change everything to be good.

It didn't remove my struggle.

But, it let light in.

It reminded me I wasn't alone and didn't have to try to do it alone.

In it all, I was reminded of the importance of being honest and allowing our brokenness to be seen. I was reminded of the importance of carrying one another's burdens as Scripture tells us to. Of not just being the one to carry other's burdens, but also allowing others to carry mine.

So, let's stop pretending we have it all together all the time.

Let's give each other space and permission to be broken.

Let's learn to carry one another's burdens - both us carrying them for others and letting others carry ours.

What do we do When Life Feels like it's Spinning Out of Control

Until just a few minutes ago, I had decided that I was just going to skip posting this week. I didn't feel like I had anything to say. And I wasn't even sure I could put anything into coherent thought.

(Actaully, I'm still not sure that will happen well with this post.)

I've been thinking a lot about how we get through it when the whole world seems to be spinning out of control. What do we do? How do we get through it?

If I'm honest, the events of the few weeks have sent my anxiety higher than it's been in a long time. Most days I feel like I'm just barely hanging on and all I want to do is hide from all of it. But, I still have to deal with the reality of what's going on and hiding is impossible.

So, what do we do when we find ourselves in these situations? 

I'm not talking about caring about practical physical needs. I think what's out there has covered that pretty well. I'm talking about how we get through it emotionally, mentally, spiritually.

It's easy to quote Scripture about trusting God, or about God being in control, or any number of things. And they're absolutely true. But, these days, they can ring a bit hollow when you're feeling like you're barely hanging on and anxiety is high. We have to choose to hold onto those truths, but we can't stop there.

This is where I'm glad that we can be completely honest with God about how we're feeling. He can handle. He wants us to bring it to Him. Sometimes just acknowledging it is helpful to being able to handle it.

But, the truth is that we also need each other. This may be a more difficult in times like this, but it doesn't change the fact that we need each other. While the how of this may look different, we can't neglect this.

And, if I'm honest, this is the part I haven't done well. I've turned to Scripture and to prayer in these last few weeks, but when I've been with people I've fought hard to keep it together and not let them see I'm struggling. And I know that hasn't helped things.

So, something I'm learning (again) and maybe can encourage you with: Keep taking it to God and turning to Scripture for truth. And find ways to keep connecting with others - it might not be the same face-to-face ways we usually use, but keep connecting somehow. We can't try to do it on our own. We need each other.

What Scripture Says About Singleness: Part Two

In the last post, I started looking at what 1 Corinthians 7 says about singleness. This chapter really is the only place in Scripture where this topic is directly addressed.

1 Corinthians 7:25-40 is the next part of this chapter that talks about singleness. Paul specifically addressed virgins and those unmarried here. For the sake of space, I'm not going to quote the whole passage here, but I encourage you to read it before you read the rest of this post.

The general point of the passage is that while it's not wrong to marry, there advantages to not marrying. The main advantage that Paul talks about is undivided focus a single person can have. While a married person has another person they are thinking about, a single person is free to focus only on the things of God. Paul encourages singleness here, but not because he says marriage is wrong or sinful or something to be avoided.

I think Paul's intent in this passage is to encourage all to put their focus and attention on what God has given them. If one if married, then a certain amount of that attention and focus is on their spouse and on living in their marriage according to God's ways and plans. If one is single, then all of it in on pleasing only God and serving Him with their lives.

One of the common misapplications I've heard and seen, but thankfully never personally experienced, is the assumption that a single person should do anything and everything asked of them by the church. Basically, the idea that they must have more time and energy and should be spending it all on whatever the church decides they should do.

Being single does not mean someone doesn't have preferences and gifts, and doesn't have a right to say no to some things. God gifts all people and gives them different things to do and we need to allow that.

As a single person, I know my ability to serve God and my freedom to do things is very different from what it looks like for my married friends. I'm also very aware that there are some things I shouldn't be doing in the church because God didn't create me to do those things well, even though they would fit in my calendar.

Whether single or married, we need to respect people's decisions about how they use their time to serve God. Being single doesn't mean a person has to do everything. Just as being married doesn't mean there are only certain things a person can do.

As I look at all Paul has to say in 1 Corinthians 7, the conclusion I come to is that Paul valued both singleness and marriage. He saw some very good things that come with being single and he elevated singleness because of that. His teaching here and elsewhere also makes it clear that he didn't see marriage as bad or wrong.

If we're going to elevate singleness in our churches today from the place it has too often been - seen as just a waiting period - to something of value, then it's going to require that we wrestle with some other realities of how we think. I will be exploring these in some of my upcoming posts.

In the meantime, I'd love to hear your thoughts on what Scripture says. What do you see in 1 Corinthians 7?

What Scripture Says About Singleness: Part One

What does Scripture say about singleness?

The truth is, it doesn't say much directly. Scripture is definitely  much quieter on this than it is on the topic of marriage. But, that doesn't mean it's something we can ignore in the church today. There are simply too many single adults, whoa re past college-age, in our church to not take time to talk about this.

In my searching of Scripture on this, I found there really was only one passage where singleness is spoken about specifically and directly. In 1 Corinthians 7 Paul talks about singleness, alongside marriage.

As I began to look what biblical scholars and teachers had to say on this passage, I very quickly became frustrated. Very few even acknowledged Paul's words about singleness here. And those who did, almost exclusively talked about it as being a temporary thing as one prepared for marriage.

So, what does Paul say in 1 Corinthians 7? What can we learn from what he writes?

Verses 7-9 say:

"I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to unmarried and widows I say: it is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."

While Paul may have been married at one point, he wasn't when he wrote this letter. In these verses, Paul is encouraging people to remain single. Scholars I read debate the reason why Paul encourages this here. Some saying it was because of persecution the Corinthian Christians were facing; others said it was because Paul was convinced that Jesus' second coming would happen very soon; still others said it was because Paul didn't like marriage.

That last reason seems most unlikely to me given all that Paul says about marriage in the rest of this chapter and in other letters he writes. The other two opinions seem more plausible to use, but I'm not sure we can be completely cure of why Paul wrote what he did.

Whatever he reasons for writing these words, one thing is clear: Paul saw singleness as something valuable and honourable. In saying he wished all could be like he was, Paul is giving singleness a place of importance in God's kingdom alongside marriage.

Even in his acknowledgement that marriage is better than burning with passion, Paul is not making singleness out to just a temporary waiting place in life. He is acknowledging that both are important.

I think we often skip these verses because they're not something we're comfortable with. I know that's been what I've done. The truth is they're not 100% clear. Paul doesn't say this is how you should look at singleness here.

There is still more than 1 Corinthians 7 has to say on this topic, but for the sake of keeping these posts a readable length, that will be the subject of the next post.

Why We Need to Talk More About Singleness in the Church

What does the Bible say about singleness?

How should we engage in discussions about singleness as the church?

Why should we talk about singleness?

These questions and some others have been ones I've been wrestling with for a while. As a single Christian, committed to the church as a whole and to a local gathering of the church, these questions are deeply personal.

As I've wrestled with these questions, they've become a series of blog posts.I don't know how many posts yet, but I've been challenged that we need to be having this conversation in the church more than we are and we need to have it differently than we have in the past. This isn't an easy discussion to have, but it's vital to the church in our rapidly changing culture.

It's no longer the norm in our society to get married, have kids, and stay married. This may have remained the norm in the church for a little longer than society as a whole, but it's no longer the norm in the church either. People are getting married later and more are not getting married at all. This means that single adults are a much larger percentage of our churches than they have been in the past. But, I've found that we do a poor job of addressing that.

As I've wrestled with this topic and dug into it, I've discovered a significant lack of resources on the topic. Standing in my local Christian bookstore, there were two shelves related to marriage, along with over half the books in the section for women also talking about being a wife and/or mother. After some more looking, I found the very small section labelled "singles." It consisted of five books, and all but one of them was about preparing for marriage. As I turned my search elsewhere, I discovered a few more resources, although still a staggeringly few in comparison to what is available on marriage.

While the handful of practical books I found on the topic of singleness were good, they're not likely to be read by someone who isn't single - even though they need to be. I think we need more than practical books, we need to understand what the Bible actually has to say about singleness.

As a single person, I've been taught a theology of marriage to go along with the practical I've heard and seen available. And that's a good thing. Even as a single person, I need that.

But, I wonder how many of us - particularly those who are married - have ever read or heard anything on a theology of singleness? Of what the Bible has to say about it?

As I searched for this, I came across a book that I found helpful and challenging. As with most of what I read, I found I both agreed and disagreed with what the author had to say. Reading the book I found was part of what really drove me to dig deeper and wrestle more with this topic.

The book is called The Significance of Singleness: A Theological Vision for the Future of the Church by Christina S. Hitchcock. As I read, I was driven back to Scripture to wrestle with its truth. I was also challenged to wrestle with my own thoughts and experiences as a single adult in the church.

As I read the introduction to the book, I was struck by some of what Hitchcock had to say on the topic. It seems fitting to share a bit of it here as I introduce these blog posts. Hitchcock is writing from the perspective of the American church, but when it comes to the topic of singleness, almost all of what she had to say fits with my experiences and the experiences of others I've talked to within the Canadian church.

"American Christians adore marriage and are petrified by singleness. Our inability to think of singleness within the context of the entire kingdom of God has not only hurt our ability to live as single people and to live with single people; it has also damaged our ability to speak wisely, humbly, and biblically on subjects such as feminism, homosexuality, extra-marital sex, and even missions and evangelism. When anything take precedence over the kingdom, even God's good gifts, our theology starts to take a nosedive, and we'll see problems popping up all over the place. Singleness is not something to be endured, but neither is it something that is simply of practical usefulness to the church because single people have so much time and energy. The life of Christian singleness can serve as a picture of the gospel and what that means: participating in true community, finding identity in Christ, and receiving authority to act as God's agents in the world."
(Christina S. Hitchcock, The Significance of Singleness, pg. xxii)

Over the next while, many of my posts are going to be wrestling with singleness. Wrestling with what the Bible says about it, what it looks like in the church, what it looks like in life in general. These aren't easy topics and not all of them are comfortable. There are places that really wrestling with this took me that aren't places I've usually written about here, but are an incredibly important part of the conversation.

I don't pretend to be an expert on this. I'm certainly not a biblical scholar. I'm a fellow pilgrim on the journey to become more like Christ and I invite you to wrestle with this with me. I'd love to hear your perspectives, experiences, and understanding of Scripture as I write these posts. Lets start this conversation that we've been missing or avoiding in the church, that we desperately need to have.

Changing Our Thinking

What do you do when your mind is going in a direction you don't want it to go?

What do you do when your caught up in patterns of anxiety in your mind and you're not sure how to stop them?

Is there any way we can change our thinking?

The answer is that, yes, we can change our thinking.

But, if we're looking for an easy fix, then we're going to have a problem. There's no promise of an easy fix.

Scripture does make it clear that our minds can be renewed - that we can change the way we think.

Romans 12:2 tells us that we can "be transformed by the renewing of our mind." 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 talks about our ability to take thoughts captive to make them obedient to Christ. In Philippians 4:8, Paul tells us to think on things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy.

These Scriptures would indicate that we do have the ability to change the way we think. We can choose to think on something different. We have that ability.

But, how do we do that? What does it look like?

What about when it seems like we can't change our thought patterns, not matter how hard we try?

I think the key to this is returning to Scripture. We need to take the time to find the truth of what Scripture says, and then we need to fill our minds with it.

This isn't an instant process. We may have to continually remind ourselves of the truth of Scripture. It's something we have to be intentional about, until it becomes our habit.

As I've learned this process in my own life, I've seen how it can and has changed my thinking over time. I've had to be intentional about it - especially in the moments when it's easiest for my thinking to go back to those old ways.

One of the things, I've learned is of the importance of having the truths from God's Word ready when I'm in the midst of a struggle. Those are the times when I need to be able to remind myself of God's truth clearly. Sometimes, this means going back to Scripture I've memorized.

Other times, it's actually having those Scriptures in a list that I can easily pull up an read - often out loud. This is especially true when it's a bigger challenge in my thinking. For me, one of those times is when my anxiety starts to take over my thinking. Then, the only way I might be able to stop it is to start declaring the truth of God's Word out loud and I need to have it where I can easily read it and access it. For me, that means it's actually in a note on my phone. Since my phone is pretty much always within reach of me, this is a helpful place for me to have this list of Scriptures.

Just because we find the Scripture and the truth doesn't mean it's going to instantly change. We have to commit to the process and be willing to dig in with it every time the issue arises again. Some days, it seems to have more impact on changing my thought life, than others. But, over time, it is slowly changing things.

The important thing is that we continue to go back to the truth of Scripture to change the way we think. No matter how many times we have to go back.

What We All Need As Christians

What do we all need as Christians?

What is it that should mark our lives as Christians?

"For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting, and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into His kingdom and glory." (1 Thessalonians 2:11-12)

These are Paul's words in his letter to the church at Thessalonica. 

As I read those words, I was struck by one particular phrase in them.

Live lives worthy of God

This is a hard call. It's so much more than just praying a prayer to ask Jesus int your heart. This is actually about allowing Jesus to change your life.

The only way to live a life worthy of God is the be constantly growing and maturing in our relationship with Jesus. This is what allows for and causes the transformation that means we're living lives worthy of God. Discipleship is what this is about.

Discipleship is not a word we use regularly today. So, what do I mean by it?

When I use the word discipleship, I'm talking about the process of growing in our faith. About moving us from the point of salvation to being transformed. 

Some of this process happens as we spend time on our own in Scripture and in prayer. But, there's also a community aspect to it.

We learn from those who have gone before us. We encourage, comfort, and push one another along. This kind of discipleship comes out of relationship with people, not just be being an anonymous person in a crowd on a weekend. In Thessalonians 2:11, Paul uses the example of a father with his children to illustrate what this looks like.

I think we too often miss this part. We focus on salvation and miss the discipleship that must follow. It makes sense in lots of ways. Salvations are easy to count, to measure, to track. Discipleship is much harder to measure. But, if there is no discipleship after salvation, we've forgotten a big part of what being a Christian means.

Discipleship is where ongoing transformation takes place.

Discipleship is where we learn what God's Word says.

Discipleship is where we learn obedience to what God's Word says, even when it's hard.

Discipleship is the way we begin to live a life worthy.

So, how are you doing at discipleship? Both having people and places where you are disciple, and places where you're discipling others?

It doesn't have to be some sort of formal class or relationship for it to happen. But, we all need to have people who are further along in this Christian life than us who are pouring into us and we need to have people coming along behind us who we are pouring into.

If we're going to thrive and have an impact on a culture that is increasingly hostile to our beliefs, then I believe we must return discipleship to its rightful place in the church. As I read and study Paul's letters to the early church, I see again and again, his call to grow beyond that place of salvation. It's what we all need.

Meeting Jesus in the Middle of Your Circumstances

There's something about John's account of the resurrection of Jesus that really draws my attention. John 20:11-18 records a conversation between Mary Magdalene and Jesus that had made me think.

Mary Magdalene went to the tomb early in the morning and discovered Jesus was no longer there. She goes back to tell the disciples. Peter and John run to the tomb to investigate for themselves.

Then we pick up the conversation Mary had with Jesus in John 20:11-18.

As I read the conversation, I'm struck by the relationship I see between Jesus and Mary. Mary wasn't just a part of the crowd that wanted to see what Jesus would do next. She followed Him because she believed in Him. One where all it took was for Jesus to say her name to recognize Him.

She was "outside the tomb crying," (John 20:11) when Jesus came to her. She didn't recognize Jesus at first. But, the moment she heard Him speak her name it all became clear. She knew exactly who she was talking to.

I think this is often our story. Something has happened that has caused us grief, pain, sorrow. We're "outside the tomb crying." We're focused on what we've lost, or think we've lost. When Jesus makes Himself known in our situation, we don't recognize Him in it. W don't realize He's right there waiting to comfort and strengthen us.

When we finally list our eyes, we hear Jesus say our name and that's when everything changes. The circumstances we're in may not change, but when we realize we're not facing them alone, that does change things. When we realize Jesus is walking every step with us that changes everything.

What circumstances are you in that seem overwhelming?
Are you focused on them? Or are you seeing and hearing Jesus there with you?

Receiving from God in Honest Prayer

The week leading up to Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday always brings me back to familiar passages of Scripture. Even in their familiarity there often seems to be something that I notice again - that challenges me.

I was reading in Luke 22:39-46, where Jesus is praying in the Garden of Gethsemane. He was in anguish. Jesus' prayer in this passage was honest. He didn't shy away from expressing what He was really feeling.

I was struck by verse 43 as I read. It says:

"An angel from heaven appeared to Him and strengthened Him."

I don't know if I've really paid attention to this verse before.

In the middle of His honest prayer, as Jesus was pouring out how He really felt to the Father, God sent an angel to comfort and strengthen Jesus. We can't know of that would have happened regardless. But, I think it's significant that it happened in the midst of His prayer.

It is when we cry out to God in our struggles that He meets us in that. And we experience His comfort and strengthening. When we admit our need, we're in a place of being open to that.

When we're busy acting like we have it all together, even if we don't, we're not in a position to receive anything from God. We likely don't even see the offer of it, because we're so busy maintaining our facade. But, if we're willing to admit and express our need to God, we get the privilege of experiencing His comfort and strengthening for what we're going through.

Are you honest with God in your prayers? 

Are you open to receiving comfort and strengthening from God for whatever you're facing?

The Only Way to Avoid Being Deceived

How do we avoid being deceived?

In my last post, I wrote about the importance of not being deceived, especially when it comes to where temptation comes from. That post led to the question I opened this post with: How do we avoid being deceived?

How do we come to realize when our enemy is trying to deceive us?

How do we become more aware of his schemes before we fall for them?

These questions led me to a familiar and important passage. Luke 4:1-13 is the account of Jesus being tempted in the wilderness. Jesus models in these verses what is important in defeating the deceptions of our enemy.

The devil came to Jesus at a time of weakness, when Jesus would have been more susceptible to deceptions or, at least, when the devil thought He would be. The devil tempted Jesus in two ways: 1) he tried to use Scripture in a way that wasn't quite right, and 2) he offered Jesus what would seem to be good things, but in the end would give the devil license in His life. These are two tactics the devil uses in us too.

Jesus countered all of this with the truth of Scripture. He knew what Scripture actually said, so He wasn't caught by the almost right, but slightly off quotes from the devil. Jesus defeated to the devil in this situation with the truth of Scripture.

This is so important for us too. Our enemy isn't going to use something that's really out there to try to get us. He's going to look for ways he can use something that seems really close to the truth, but is just wrong enough to get us off course if we fall for it. And, it we don't know Scripture, if we don't know the truth intimately, we'll be far more likely to fall for the devil's deceptions.

The only way we can avoid falling for the deceptions is to know the truth well. Just as Jesus know what Scripture actually said well enough to spot the places where the devil was twisting it, we need to as well. We need to know the truth so well, we can see when something is eve just a little bit off.

This the only way we can avoid being deceived.

How do You Respond to Hearing God's Word?

Take a look around you . . .

How many Bibles do you see?

Where are they sitting? The floor? A table? A shelf?

How long since they were last opened?

I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, but I do want to challenge you today, the way I've been challenged recently.

This one starts with a book my three year old niece signed out of our church library. I've read a lot of different stories to her, but, while I don't mind reading most of them, I'm not used to them being anything other than stories to me - some familiar, some not. To say I was a little surprised when the one I was reading to her began to challenge might be an understatement.

I went home later that evening still thinking about it. The story was a simple one about a kid who lost his Bible and hadn't been treating it well, and why he should treat it better once he found it. As I sat at home that evenings, I counted at least 10 Bibles on the shelf by my chair, another on a table, and there's one in my office at work. And then, who knows how many available through the Bible app on my phone. All of them used at some point or other - some more than others.

I left the thoughts about it at that, until I was reading in Nehemiah  a couple weeks later, when I couple of verses prompted the thoughts again.

To set the scene a bit: Nehemiah had returned to Jerusalem and had led the rebuilding of the wall, with the other exiles that had returned. It was now complete and they had been re-establishing the residents of the city. All who could understand had gathered to hear Ezra, the priest, read the Law of Moses aloud.

Nehemiah 8:5-6 says:

Ezra opened the book. All the people could see him because he was standing above them; and as he opened it, the people all stood up. Ezra praised the Lord, the great God; and all the people lifted their hands and responded, Amen! Amen! Then they bowed down and worshiped the Lord with their faces to the ground. (emphasis mine)

When Israel heard God's Word being read they stood to their feet and then they bowed low in worship of God.

When I read those words, all the questions I had asked a couple weeks ago cam flooding back.

It was different for Israel because they didn't each own their own copies of God's Word, but I began to wonder if we could learn something their response to God's Word. Something I wonder if we've lost with all our easy and immediate access to Bibles today. Something I've lost.

How do I treat God's Word?

How do I respond to it being read?

The Bible is God's Word to us. God speaking to us through it - into our lives today.

But, maybe I've gotten so used to it being always available I've forgotten what a privilege it is to have it so easily accessible to me?

Maybe it's become so commonplace in my life I don't treat it the way I should?

I'm not saying our Bibles should be objects we worship. But, I do wonder if the way we treat them can, at least sometimes, be a reflection of the value we're placing on God's Words to us? Maybe there is value in us reflecting on the way we treat the Bibles we have and whether that reflects the value we place on it, or if there's some inconsistency there we need to deal with.

How does my heart respond to hearing God's Word?

Maybe it won't be the right place to physically stand and then bow low in worship in response to God's Word, but even then, we still can in our hearts.

What is the attitude and response of your heart to hearing God's Word?

Is how you treat your Bible (or Bibles) a reflection of that? Should it be?

Do you need to change something here?