disturb us Lord

I came across a prayer in some of my reading recently that really spoke to me and I want to share it with you. It really challenged.

Disturb us, Lord, when
We are too well pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we ahve dreamed too little,
When we arrive safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wider seas
Where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.
We ask you to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to puch into the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.
(Sir Francis Drake)

tribute to Grandma & Grandpa S

I was doing some tidying up of files on my computer tonight when I came across a speech I wrote and a slide show I made for my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary a few years ago. It was cool to go back and read what I wrote and to watch the slide show again. What I wrote that I appreciated about my grandparents then is what I still appreciate about Grandma and Grandpa S today.

I've had a few people over the years who didn't understand why I would choose to spend 4 hours at a time on the golf course with my Grandma and Grandpa S. But, I loved spending that time with them - building a relationship with them. It was always an enjoyable time. And I feel that my life is so much richer because of the little things I learned from them either through something we talked about or watching how they handled things on the golf course. I always look forward to those times with my grandparents.

I have so many memories of spending time at their house growing up. They lived on the lake and so the beach was a huge draw to get us to come. But once we were there they were always so involved in whatever we doing - from building huge sand castles on the beach, to making sure all the air mattresses and tubes were blown up for us, to making projects in the shop, to playing with the train set, to baking buns together, to making roll kuchen, to having sleepovers. We spent many hours together.

And we always knew that they were there if our parents were out of town or were unable to pick us up if something happened at school. Oftentimes, it was way more fun for a sick day to fall on a day when Mom had other plans, because it was way more fun to stay home from school at Grandma and Grandpa's. Grandma S definitely spoiled us when we were at her house when we were sick. And, as we got older and Mom and Dad started to go away for weekends and leave us at home, it was always comforting to know that Grandma and Grandpa S were just a phone call away if we needed them for any reason.

I always felt extra special at band concerts and other school special events because I knew that oftentimes Grandma and Grandpa S were sitting in the audience as well as my parents. And I knew that they were just as proud of me for whatever I was doing as my parents were too.

Even now that I'm an adult little of this has changed in my mind. I still love spending time with Grandma and Grandpa S. I still look forward to being able to have conversations with them about so much of life. I still look forward to going to their house, even though they no longer live on the lake - I go because I enjoy them, the lake was always a bonus but it wasn't why I went over there. I may get kind of embarrassed when they start bragging about me to other people and I'm there, but deep down it makes me feel special and loved. It's been a couple of years since we have been able to golf together, and it's something that I really miss - that time with them was always special. But spending time with them now is still just as special.

Grandma and Grandpa S have been a huge part of my life and have played a very important role in my life. I appreciate that a lot. They are truly special people to me.

trusting God even when questions are not answered

In the last month or so, since my friends lost their little boy, I've wrestled a lot with the whole idea of God being good. It really doesn't seem like a good God would let all that has happened for this family happen. When life doesn't seem fair it can be easy to begin to question how a good God could allow that to happen.

And, I'm discovering that sometimes the questions we ask in those times when things seem unfair because of suffering on this earth don't have an answer that we will understand on this earth. We can't open our Bibles and find an answer. We ask God and what we hear doesn't seem to really answer that question . . . because He's calling us to just trust Him anyways . . . to trust Him and believe Him even when it doesn't make sense. That's not an easy thing to do.

We want answers. We want to know "why" something happened. But sometimes we don't find out. And then we make the choice to trust God and believe Him and continue to follow Him even though we don't understand His reasons for what He allowed. We look back at times in the past when God has showed Himself good and worthy of our trust in the past and we move forward in the current time because of those times in the past, not because what is going on right now makes sense.

Almost a year ago now, another friend of mine from working at summer camp lost her husband in a freak accident and now this has happened just a month ago to more friends from camp. Neither situation seems fair from an earthly perspective. And I don't know that I'll ever totally understand either of them while I'm on this earth. I can't imagine being in the position of any of my friends who have gone through this. It seems almost impossible for think of what they are walking through. And yet, I also am amazed at how they have walked through this all. They haven't given up. They have persevered even when it would seem easier to just give up. And that's something that has made me realize that it is possible to trust God, to believe God is good, and to continue to follow Him even when all that is happening in life seems so unfair and their seem to be no answers to hard questions.