I've been thinking a lot about weddings and marriage lately. I guess that's what happens when both of your sisters are engaged and it seems like most family conversation revolves around wedding planning. One sister will be married in two weeks and the other in a year.
When I first heard that my youngest sister was engaged it caught me a bit off guard. I knew she had a boyfriend and that was probably coming, but it happened earlier than I expected. I hadn't expected her to be getting married before me. My other sister . . . I wasn't surprised at all. For a number of years I've known she would get married before me (she's also younger than me), and I knew that she her fiance were planning marriage in their future.
Isn't it true that life doesn't always go according to our plans? I never expected I would still be single at this point in my life. And I certainly never planned on both of my sisters getting married before me. When I graduated high school nine years ago (Yikes! Has it really been that long already?!?), I had my life planned from then until into my thirties. Needless to say, it hasn't really gone according to that plan.
My life plan at 18:
-graduate from the local college/university with my BA in Business Administration in 4 years, by the time I was 22
-find a job with an accounting firm and start working towards becoming a CGA, with the plan being to finish that in 3 years by the time I was 25
-sometime after I finished my degree I would meet a guy and we would get married about the same time as I finished my CGA work (I know, I was a little crazy! Let's decide that I should plan a wedding and finish that in the same year!) [Or my alternate plan was to marry my high school boyfriend after my first year of college and then continue with the rest of my plan, including waiting until I was finished my CGA to think about having kids.]
-work for a couple of years after finishing my CGA and then quit working for a while to have kids and be at home with them
Wow! Looking back at that now it seems kind of ridiculous to have even thought that was a possibility for it to go exactly like that. Reality has been much different than that:
-I spent two years studying business at the local college and then transferred to a Bible college in the middle of nowhere on the Saskatchewan praries to finish my BA in Business Administration
-after graduating after 4 years at 22 (that timing worked according to my plan, but not from the school I thought it would be from), I moved back home and began looking for a job
-worked as the bookkeeper at a repair shop for a couple fo years, before being offered and accepting a job at the Gospel Mission as their bookkeeper - a job that I'm still at today and am loving most days
-not yet married, no kids, haven't started working towards becoming a CGA and not sure if/when I will
Yup, reality is different than what my plan was, but, for the most part, I'm happy with it.
All the wedding talk in my family recently has made me think about all the planning we put into things - some of which we have control over and others that we have no control over at all. Weddings . . . we have control over that and what we plan for it. Our jobs . . . for the most part we can pick the job we want and where we want to do it. Life . . . we have only some control in regards to decisions we make, but there is much of it that is out of our control. We do what we can to be ready and listening to God's direction and then we have to wait for God to do His part.
And sometimes it's the waiting that is the hard part. We want something to do to move towards a goal. The last thing we want to hear from God is wait. And so, in our impatience, we try to make things happen on our own and according to our own desires. God gives us freedom and we can choose to make whatever decisions we would like. But sometimes we have to wait for Him to show us where to go - what the next step is.
I'm not sure what my life would look like today if I had decided that my plan at 18 when I graduated high school was the way I was going to live no matter what. But, I venture to guess that it would have been filled with some challenges from not following what God had planned for me that was better than anything I could plan. And I would have missed out on some of the blessings that come from where I am now and how I've gotten to here.
So, where are you today? Are you waiting on God for something?
Or are you moving ahead knowing that this is the direction God has pointed you?
Or are you forging ahead on your own and realizing that maybe waiting would have been the better choice?
Wherever you are, what I know is that God does have good things for us. Sometimes they may come in the form of waiting, or loss, or trials, but God promises that He will work all things out for our good. We may not be able to see that good in the midst of something, but we can often see it looking back from the other side.
If God is saying wait, it's because He has something better for us if we will just be patient and trust Him.
If God is showing the direction to go, move forward in it. It will be worth what it requires of you.
If you're beginning to realize that waiting for God rather than forging ahead would have been the better choice, don't despair; it's not too late. You can still stop and repent and ask God to show you where to go from where you are now. He's the God of second chances and He'll give you another one if you ask.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Saturday, April 10, 2010
everybody's broken
I was listening to a Bon Jovi CD earlier today and was struck by the lyrics to a song by the title of this blog: Everybody's Broken.
I was just struck with the realization of the truth that every body is broken. Now, obviously as followers of Christ, there is hope for our brokenness to be made into wholeness in Christ. But, before that can be a reality, we have to admit that we're broken. We cannot be made whole until we admit we are broken.
Here's the words to the song for you to read:
When I read those words (or listen to the song) I'm struck by the realizatino that there are people in our world who are telling us that it is OK to be broken, yet in the church, a place that should be a haven for broken people, we often feel like we can't be broken - that if we admit that we're broken we'll be kicked out or told that we're not good enough.
I wonder if we need to learn how to let people be broken - how to tell people that it's OK if they're broken when they come. Maybe we need to learn to admit ourselves that we're broken - that we don't have it all together. Because, really, the only reason we can find wholeness in life si when we admit that we're broken without Jesus in our lives. We can't find wholeness on our own. As Bon Jovi says in this song over and over again, "Everybody's broken".
Are we willing to admit this in the church? Or do we want to continue to go along pretending we have it all together when we're really falling apart on the inside?
Obviously the song has limits in it's application to the Christian life because we do have hope and a place to find wholeness made out of our brokenness. That wholeness comes in Christ. But, I think it can be a good starting place . . . admitting we are broken. If we don't do this, we will never find wholeness in Christ. We need to begin with letting people be broken and being willing to admit our own brokenness.
So, what are you going to do? Are you going to admit your own brokenness? Or are you going to keep trying to hide it?
Honestly, I'm speaking to myself bgi time in this. I don't find it easy to admit my brokenness, but God has been challenging me in this lately. I don't always have to have it all together. In fact, I only find true wholeness when I first admit my brokenness and come to Him to find wholeness.
I was just struck with the realization of the truth that every body is broken. Now, obviously as followers of Christ, there is hope for our brokenness to be made into wholeness in Christ. But, before that can be a reality, we have to admit that we're broken. We cannot be made whole until we admit we are broken.
Here's the words to the song for you to read:
Welcome to the party
Come on in and disappear
You're feeling like a stranger
But all your friends are here
Little lines and cracks
Around your eyes and mouth
Something's trying to get in
Something's trying to get out
It's OK to be a little broken
Everybody's broken in this life
It's OK to feel a little broken
Everybody's broken
You're alright, it's alright
It's just life
Step into the deep end
Make yourself at home
When you wonder why you're breathing
Know you're not alone
It's so hard to believe
What's easier to doubt
You're trying to hold in
What you're dying to scream out
It's OK to be a little broken
Everybody's broken in this life
It's OK to feel a little broken
Everybody's broken
You're alright, it's alright
It's just life
Take a look around
Tell me what you see
Is who you think you are
Who you want to be
It's OK to be a little broken
Everybody's broken in this life
It's OK to feel a little broken
Everbody's broken
You're alright
Keep on going
Eyes wide open
Everybody's broken (repeat line)
When I read those words (or listen to the song) I'm struck by the realizatino that there are people in our world who are telling us that it is OK to be broken, yet in the church, a place that should be a haven for broken people, we often feel like we can't be broken - that if we admit that we're broken we'll be kicked out or told that we're not good enough.
I wonder if we need to learn how to let people be broken - how to tell people that it's OK if they're broken when they come. Maybe we need to learn to admit ourselves that we're broken - that we don't have it all together. Because, really, the only reason we can find wholeness in life si when we admit that we're broken without Jesus in our lives. We can't find wholeness on our own. As Bon Jovi says in this song over and over again, "Everybody's broken".
Are we willing to admit this in the church? Or do we want to continue to go along pretending we have it all together when we're really falling apart on the inside?
Obviously the song has limits in it's application to the Christian life because we do have hope and a place to find wholeness made out of our brokenness. That wholeness comes in Christ. But, I think it can be a good starting place . . . admitting we are broken. If we don't do this, we will never find wholeness in Christ. We need to begin with letting people be broken and being willing to admit our own brokenness.
So, what are you going to do? Are you going to admit your own brokenness? Or are you going to keep trying to hide it?
Honestly, I'm speaking to myself bgi time in this. I don't find it easy to admit my brokenness, but God has been challenging me in this lately. I don't always have to have it all together. In fact, I only find true wholeness when I first admit my brokenness and come to Him to find wholeness.
Friday, April 9, 2010
reflecting on Easter
I've been thinking about this blog post since last weekend - Easter weekend - but that weekend was so busy for me that it's really taken me this long to get any clarity on what I wanted to write. And I'm still not sure this has a point other than to just record my somewhat disjointed thoughts.
Good Friday . . .
Why exactly do we call it good?
I mean, sure, now with the benefit of looking back at history we can see that it was good in the end, but the events that happened that day were hardly what we would normally call good. And they must have seemed like the end of the world to Jesus' disciples and other followers.
Yet, we call it Good Friday.
Saturday . . .
Can you even imagine what it must have been like on this Sabbath for Jesus disciples and followers?
The Sabbath . . . by Jewish Law they were not allowed to do any work on this day, so Jesus lay in the tomb, but no one brought spices or anything to the tomb. Just going through the motions of the day. Nothing feeling quite right.
Confusion.
Despair.
Grief.
Resignation.
Fear.
Possibly the disciples were feeling this way as they went through the day.
Easter Sunday . . .
Resurrection Day!
But Jesus' disciples and other followers had no idea what this day would hold when they woke up.
The women go to visit the tomb and bring burial spices . . . but they find an empty tomb. They run to tell the disciples who don't believe them and have to check it out for themselves.
Is it possible?
Did He really rise from the dead?
Is He really alive again?
Jesus appears to His disciples and followers . . .
They had seen Him die and they knew He had been placed in tomb . . . yet He was alive and in their midst?!
How is that possible?
Yet, it fulfills the prophecies of old and the statements Jesus made about Himself.
Jesus said that He would rise again in three days.
Ordinary, un-schooled men and women . . .
turn their world upside-down with their proclamations of Jesus' victory over sin and death on the cross.
Even in the face of persecution they do not be quiet.
Death cannot shut their mouths.
Punishment and imprisonment cannot stop the spread.
What an amazing thing to celebrate and remember . . .
Jesus died on the cross for my sins,
for your sins,
for the sins of the world
-those who had aleady lived and died,
those who were living then,
and those who would live in all eternity.
How incredible the truth . . .
that still turns our world upside-down.
How precious the love for us - for you, for me, for all -
that led our Lord to make the greatest sacrifice of all,
to reconcile us to Him and restore a broken relationship.
I read this earlier this week and thought it was a fresh way to look at the story of Easter, and really it is what got me thinking about some of what I wrote.
Good Friday . . .
Why exactly do we call it good?
I mean, sure, now with the benefit of looking back at history we can see that it was good in the end, but the events that happened that day were hardly what we would normally call good. And they must have seemed like the end of the world to Jesus' disciples and other followers.
Yet, we call it Good Friday.
Saturday . . .
Can you even imagine what it must have been like on this Sabbath for Jesus disciples and followers?
The Sabbath . . . by Jewish Law they were not allowed to do any work on this day, so Jesus lay in the tomb, but no one brought spices or anything to the tomb. Just going through the motions of the day. Nothing feeling quite right.
Confusion.
Despair.
Grief.
Resignation.
Fear.
Possibly the disciples were feeling this way as they went through the day.
Easter Sunday . . .
Resurrection Day!
But Jesus' disciples and other followers had no idea what this day would hold when they woke up.
The women go to visit the tomb and bring burial spices . . . but they find an empty tomb. They run to tell the disciples who don't believe them and have to check it out for themselves.
Is it possible?
Did He really rise from the dead?
Is He really alive again?
Jesus appears to His disciples and followers . . .
They had seen Him die and they knew He had been placed in tomb . . . yet He was alive and in their midst?!
How is that possible?
Yet, it fulfills the prophecies of old and the statements Jesus made about Himself.
Jesus said that He would rise again in three days.
Ordinary, un-schooled men and women . . .
turn their world upside-down with their proclamations of Jesus' victory over sin and death on the cross.
Even in the face of persecution they do not be quiet.
Death cannot shut their mouths.
Punishment and imprisonment cannot stop the spread.
What an amazing thing to celebrate and remember . . .
Jesus died on the cross for my sins,
for your sins,
for the sins of the world
-those who had aleady lived and died,
those who were living then,
and those who would live in all eternity.
How incredible the truth . . .
that still turns our world upside-down.
How precious the love for us - for you, for me, for all -
that led our Lord to make the greatest sacrifice of all,
to reconcile us to Him and restore a broken relationship.
I read this earlier this week and thought it was a fresh way to look at the story of Easter, and really it is what got me thinking about some of what I wrote.
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