Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Have We Forgotten How to Really Listen?

In the last few months, I've been writing a lot about hearing from God and listening for His voice speaking in our lives. The last few days, I've been thinking about listening in a different sense.

I've started wondering about how we do at listening to one another.  And I've started to wonder if we've forgotten how to really listen to one another.

In our desire to share our own opinions and experiences, I wonder if we sometimes forget to really listen to the other person talking.

In our desire to fix things for someone and give advice, I wonder if we sometimes forget to really listen to the other person talking.

Sometimes all someone needs or wants is to be heard.

Sometimes all someone needs or wants is to know someone else knows.

Sometimes all someone needs or wants is to know someone cares.

I'm not saying we should never share our own experiences or opinions, or that we should never give advice. Those things are good. Those things are necessary.

But maybe we need to learn to really listen before we offer those things.

What if, instead of thinking of what we'll say while someone else is talking, we waited to formulate our response until they were done?

What if, instead of offering our advice for what to do in a situation right away, we waited to offer advice until we had acknowledged the reality of the situation?

Would that change our listening?

I think it would. And I think it would for the better.

So, I'm left with one question for myself and for you:
 
How are you doing at listening to the people in your life?

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Being Single Does Not Mean my Maker is my Husband


“For your Maker is your husband –
                the Lord Almighty is His name –
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
                He is called the God of all the earth.” (Isaiah 54:5)

 
I’ve had the first part of this verse quoted to me many times as a single person. And it bothers me every time. I usually keep my mouth shut when someone says it because it’s not worth getting into it.

But, a blog post about it has been forming in my mind for a while. I seem to be hearing it more and more often the longer I’m single. Both from married people and from other singles.

I guess I get why people say it or why people hold onto it. Life as a single person, especially in a marriage- and family-focused church, can get lonely sometimes – especially if you want to get married and have a family of your own. I get that. I’ve been in that place often in my life.

But I think in our desire to provide comfort for singles who want to be married and have a family, we’ve made a big mistake in how we use this verse – or rather how we use a small part of this verse. In our search, we’ve thrown out the first and most basic rule of interpreting and understanding the Bible . . . CONTEXT.

We’ve taken the first six words of Isaiah 54:5 and tried to make them stand alone.

Forgetting that these words make up less than 20% of the words in Isaiah 54:5.

And definitely not looking at the entirety of Isaiah 54, or the book of Isaiah, or the whole of Scripture.

Just a bit about the context of this phrase from this verse of Scripture:

·         Scripture, as a whole, is God’s love letter to His bride – the church as a whole.

·         The book of Isaiah was written to the nation of Israel as an entire people, not as individuals.

·         Isaiah was calling the nation of Israel back to God. Yes, that involved an individual decision, but nowhere in the book does Isaiah, or God through His prophet, say anything about the rewards and good things he was presenting as being given to individuals. They were all for the nation as a whole.

 
Now to the verse itself: All scholars I have read on this verse speak of this as being something corporate, not individual.

“The idea is, that Yahweh would substantiate to his people the relation of a husband; that he who had made them, who had originated all their laws and institutions, and moulded them as a people, would now take his church under his protection and care.” (Albert Barnes’ Notes on the Bible, 1847-85, public domain)

“In chapter 54 the people of God are represented under the double figure, which the Book of Revelation has made us familiar, of Bride and City. To imagine a Nation or a Land as the spouse of her God is a habit natural to the religious instinct at all times.” (Expositor’s Bible Commentary, 1887-1896, public domain)

These are two of the many scholars I read while studying this verse that say the meaning of this verse is God being the husband of the nation of Israel , not individuals. We also know from the New Testament that the church is the Bride of Christ, not the individual believer.

Ignoring the context is dangerous. There have been some pretty strange beliefs in history that have come from doing so. But, ignoring the context is exactly what we do with Isaiah 54:5 all the time.

In this case, we’re not directly stating anything that will lead people away from the truth of the gospel, but, as someone who has heard this verse quoted all too often in response to expressed desires for marriage and kids, we’re definitely failing at what we’re trying to do with this verse.

It’s not providing comfort or hope to anyone. It’s putting down a legitimate desire they have. It’s essentially telling them that their God-given desire is sinful. I don’t believe this is done on purpose, but that is what is done.

By taking this verse out of context, the desires of fellow brothers and sisters in Christ as belittled and down-played and called sinful. It really doesn`t feel very good for that to be the response you get – whether it comes from a married brother or sister in Christ or from a single brother or sister in Christ.

So, this all boils down to a simple request – Stop quoting this verse out of context to me when I say something about wanting to get married and have a family of my own.  Instead of belittling and calling my desire sinful, let me know it`s valid. I don`t need you to quote Scripture at me. I just need you to listen and care. When I express that desire, I`m not looking for an answer, I`m looking for someone who will care and listen.

Friday, July 12, 2013

Five Minute Friday: Present



Joining in with Five Minute Friday over at Lisa-Jo Baker's blog again this week. Today's word is "present."


In our world of smart phones and instant communication, it can be very easy to be distracted and forget about the people right in from of you. We forget the power of being present in the moment and place where we are.

Being present is important. We feel valued and loved when the person in front of us is present with us - rather than constantly checking their phone for the next message.

It's in being present that we notice the important things in life. And that we notice the people around us who are important to us.

When we walk through life feeling unnoticed by the people we care about and who are supposed to care about us, we can easily get discouraged. It makes us feel unimportant and unloved when people don't seem to feel the need to be present when they are with us.

How are you doing at being present with the people right in front of you?

Are you present with them? Or are you distracted by the instant communication our world is constantly putting in our faces?



Five Minute Friday is five minutes of writing on the word for the week. No editing or back-tracking
or over-thinking. Just sharing what comes to mind from the heart.