"You have to cover up so you don't cause your bothers in Christ to stumble when they see you."
"Men are visual; they can't help what happens when they see a female wearing flattering clothing; so you always have to dress with that in mind."
I can't tell you how many times I heard those messages growing up in the church. Always from well-meaning people whose heart was in the right place, even if the way went about it wasn't the best choice.
I'm sure there's many people who grew up in the church who would agree they heard the same message. And as a teenager and woman in my early twenties, I bought this completely. It influenced my choice in clothing and my appearance in every way.
When I look back on that now, I'm struck by something I didn't notice at the time . . . how insulting that message actually is to both men and women. I know it wasn't the intent behind the message, but it reduces guys to being incapable of thinking about anything but sex, and women to nothing more than sex objects to anyone of the opposite sex around them. That's not exactly an accurate portrayal.
Yes, there are many who struggle in this area. Yes, there are those who make poor choices in this area. But, I fear we've strayed too far in the opposite direction in the message we preach on this topic. We may have the best of intentions, but I wonder if we're actually doing more harm than good.
Before you jump all over me - I'm all for modesty in how we dress. I'm not trying to take away all responsibility from women in how they dress. But, I don't think they should be the ones to carry the weight of what everyone they may have contact with during the day thinks either.
Scripture makes it clear that each of us is responsible for ourselves alone before God - not others. Yes, we should love and care for our brothers and sisters in Christ enough to not knowingly do things that will cause them to stumble in their own walk with God. But, that doesn't mean we should live our lives spending all our time worrying about whether or not we're causing a fellow believer to stumble. They are ultimately responsible for their own sin before God, just as we are for ours.
I believe that in the message we have been preaching about modesty, we have been unintentionally making women responsible for someone else's sin - in this case their brothers in Christ. And that is wrong. They aren't responsible for it and they shouldn't be made to feel like they are.
Should we be teaching the importance of appropriateness in how we dress? Absolutely.
Our culture crosses the line on what is appropriate and modest all the time. We, the church, have a responsibility to teach it as part of living a life of integrity as a follower of Christ.
We also need to be teaching all to take responsibility for their own sin and to go to God with it, rather than blame it on someone else and the way they dress. That's also part of living a life of integrity before God, as His child.
Monday, July 7, 2014
Friday, July 4, 2014
Five Minute Friday: Exhale
Exhale. It's something we do all the time. Every time we inhale, we exhale. Most of the time it happens without us even thinking about it.
We exhale physically, but we can also exhale spiritually. That moment when we give up something we've been carrying for far too long that we were never meant to carry in the first place.
We let it go - leave it at the cross. And when we get up to walk away something feels lighter. Like we've left something heavy there and walked away without it. We exhale, as the weight is lifted. And then we walk a little bit easier when we walk away.
We meet with God. We hear His truth. We confess our sin. We exhale spiritually as we leave behind the burdens we were never meant to carry. And we move forward in our walk with God - allowing Him into more places to lift more burdens we can no longer carry.
After a few months of not joining in, I decided it was time to jump back in with Five Minute Friday - joining the group over at Lisa-Jo Baker's blog, for five minutes of writing on a given word and then sharing it, no editing or overthinking.
This week's word is "exhale."
We exhale physically, but we can also exhale spiritually. That moment when we give up something we've been carrying for far too long that we were never meant to carry in the first place.
We let it go - leave it at the cross. And when we get up to walk away something feels lighter. Like we've left something heavy there and walked away without it. We exhale, as the weight is lifted. And then we walk a little bit easier when we walk away.
We meet with God. We hear His truth. We confess our sin. We exhale spiritually as we leave behind the burdens we were never meant to carry. And we move forward in our walk with God - allowing Him into more places to lift more burdens we can no longer carry.
After a few months of not joining in, I decided it was time to jump back in with Five Minute Friday - joining the group over at Lisa-Jo Baker's blog, for five minutes of writing on a given word and then sharing it, no editing or overthinking.
This week's word is "exhale."
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
How to Keep Your Spiritual Journey on Track in Summer
Summer . . . the warm weather comes and much of what we count as a typical schedule the rest of the year gets put to the side until fall comes. It's the time of vacations and fun in the sun.
It's also a time that many of us struggle to maintain our walk with God. Without the regular Bible studies and prayer times with other Christians, it becomes easy to just let things slide.
But, the hits that we sometimes take in life don't stop in summer. And when they come, we need to be spending regular time with God. It's when those times come that we realize how far we've drifted and what we may need to do to get back.
The good news is, it doesn't have to be like this. It can be much different, but we have to decide ahead of time it will be different. We have to have a plan in place. Just as regularly scheduled activities the rest of the year keep on track, we need to put things in place for the summer that will help us do the same thing.
So, what can we do? How do we keep ourselves intentionally connecting with God over the summer?
1) Schedule it
Yes, the dreaded word . . . schedule. Like most things in life, it's not going to happen if you don't schedule it. Set aside a time to spend with God every day. The time doesn't matter - what matters is that you schedule it.
2) Guard it
Once you schedule it, guard that time. Don't let other things get in the way. Tell those you need to that you're unavailable during that time.
3) Share it
One of the most important parts of continuing to grow in your walk with God is sharing it with others. For me, when I share it, it gets deeper into my heart and mind when I tell others what God is showing me.
Find a friend or two that you can share it with. It doesn't have to be in a formal setting, but find a way to make it happen. It could be at the beach or on a camping trip. Or over iced tea in the backyard. Whatever it looks like, share it with others. It will keep you digging and help what you have seen to deeper.
Summer doesn't have to mean that you go backwards in your walk with God. You can continue to go deeper even when all the things you regularly do have stopped.
These guidelines apply to more than just summer. They apply to all of life. If we want our relationship with God to grow, we have to be intentional about it. It won't just happen.
It's also a time that many of us struggle to maintain our walk with God. Without the regular Bible studies and prayer times with other Christians, it becomes easy to just let things slide.
But, the hits that we sometimes take in life don't stop in summer. And when they come, we need to be spending regular time with God. It's when those times come that we realize how far we've drifted and what we may need to do to get back.
The good news is, it doesn't have to be like this. It can be much different, but we have to decide ahead of time it will be different. We have to have a plan in place. Just as regularly scheduled activities the rest of the year keep on track, we need to put things in place for the summer that will help us do the same thing.
So, what can we do? How do we keep ourselves intentionally connecting with God over the summer?
1) Schedule it
Yes, the dreaded word . . . schedule. Like most things in life, it's not going to happen if you don't schedule it. Set aside a time to spend with God every day. The time doesn't matter - what matters is that you schedule it.
2) Guard it
Once you schedule it, guard that time. Don't let other things get in the way. Tell those you need to that you're unavailable during that time.
3) Share it
One of the most important parts of continuing to grow in your walk with God is sharing it with others. For me, when I share it, it gets deeper into my heart and mind when I tell others what God is showing me.
Find a friend or two that you can share it with. It doesn't have to be in a formal setting, but find a way to make it happen. It could be at the beach or on a camping trip. Or over iced tea in the backyard. Whatever it looks like, share it with others. It will keep you digging and help what you have seen to deeper.
Summer doesn't have to mean that you go backwards in your walk with God. You can continue to go deeper even when all the things you regularly do have stopped.
These guidelines apply to more than just summer. They apply to all of life. If we want our relationship with God to grow, we have to be intentional about it. It won't just happen.
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