I'm Out Alone & I'm Okay With It

This post isn't directed at any one person or a specific time. It's a reflection of some thoughts I've had as I've watched different peoples' reactions to my going to restaurants alone over the last few years. Some of the words are things I wish I'd had the opportunity and/or courage to say to people.


To All who have looked on me with pity when I sat and ate alone in a restaurant,

I saw the look you gave as the hostess led me to my seat and left me with only one menu. The moment you realized I was eating out alone. The pity that seemed to come because I was out alone.

I'm pretty sure you didn't realize you were doing it. That you didn't mean anything by it. That you would be shocked to know that was your reaction. But, I did notice it, because I've seen it often.

I'm not sure when it became strange or something to be pitied to be alone in a restaurant. Not so much when I'm grabbing lunch during a workday, that seems to be seen as okay. But in the evenings and on the weekends, the way people look at me seems to change. I don't know why there is a difference.

Yes, I'm out for supper alone. And you know what, I wouldn't be if I wasn't okay with that. It may look lonely to you, but that evening for me is fine. If I wasn't okay with being out alone and surrounded by couples or families that evening, I would have stayed home.

You see, I'm not married. I'm not dating. I don't have kids. I'm single and most of the time I'm okay with that fact.

I have good friends and a great family. I go out with them too sometimes. I don't always go out alone. But, when I do, it's because I feel like going out rather than cooking at home. Sometimes I just need to get out of the house.

I'll be honest . . . sometimes I'm not okay with being single, not okay with going out alone. Those times, I stay home. Or I phone a friend or a family member, and make plans with them.

It took me a while to get the point of being okay with going out alone. I didn't for a lot of years, and the first few times I did, I was incredibly self-conscious of the fact. But, the more I went out, the more comfortable I became with it. Now it doesn't bother me anymore.

Being okay with going out for dinner alone, doesn't mean I don't want to one day be out as a couple, or with a family of my own. I do. And hopefully, one day, that will be the case.

But, that hope and desire doesn't mean my life is on hold right now. I'm living my life to the fullness of what God has for me in this season of my life. And, more days than I'm not, I'm enjoying my life as it is. God has blessed me in more ways than I could ever imagine. While I don't have all I hope for, I still have a life that I love and really can't complain about.

Next time you see me eating alone in a restaurant, remember it's not a big deal to me. I'm okay with that tonight. I'm glad you're out with your husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, kids, or friends. Enjoy your evening and I'll enjoy mine too.

Sincerely,
The single person sitting at the table next to you

The Marks of a Follower of God

As a kid at summer camp, we used to sing a lot of songs that were passages of Scripture.One these songs came from Micah 6:8, which says,

          "He has shown you, O Man, what is good.
               And what does the Lord require of you?
         To act justly and to love mercy
               and to walk humbly with your God."

Every time I read that verse, the song from summer camp starts in my head again. It's definitely helped me to remember this one.

When I read this verse in Micah recently, I started thinking about what it says. Thirty-one words that contain some simple truths about how we should live as Christians today. Three phrases that define what we should be about.

Act justly.

Love mercy.

Walk humbly with God.

Much of the detail of what we do flows out of these three things. No, they're not exhaustive, but if we did these three things, we'd be living lives that were in greater alignment with the life Jesus calls His followers to, than if we're always trying to do it on our own.


Act Justly

We live in a world filled with injustice, but in the midst of it we're told to act justly. If we want to change the injustices of our world, it begins with us and with the things we do everyday.

We should be fair and honest in all our interactions. We should be willing to speak up on behalf of those being treated unjustly, who often cannot speak for themselves.


Love Mercy

Mercy means that we haven't received what we deserved for what we did. Jesus showed us mercy when He took the punishment for our sin instead of us.

It's pretty easy to love mercy when we're on the receiving end of it. But, that's only a partial picture of what it means to love mercy. When we love mercy, we also show it to others. As we have received mercy, we need to give it to others.


Walk Humbly with God

We need to follow where God leads us. That means we need to have the humility to admit we don't know it all ourselves. We have to admit that God knows best and following Him is our best choice.

Tramsformation

Cold and dark

What a transformation

It have once been

Warm and bright

A fire burning with passion

Only coals remained

No light to shine

Warmth only with a touch

What happened to the flame?

What happened to the passion?

Life got in the way

Always running

Always hurrying

The fire never tended

Slowly it went out

The flame died away

With nothing left to burn

It doesn't have

To stay that way

If we feed it

It will burn again

The passion will return

With attention and time

The flame will burn again

Warm and bright 

What a transformation

It is no longer 

Cold and dark