In the last post, I started looking at what 1 Corinthians 7 says about singleness. This chapter really is the only place in Scripture where this topic is directly addressed.
1 Corinthians 7:25-40 is the next part of this chapter that talks about singleness. Paul specifically addressed virgins and those unmarried here. For the sake of space, I'm not going to quote the whole passage here, but I encourage you to read it before you read the rest of this post.
The general point of the passage is that while it's not wrong to marry, there advantages to not marrying. The main advantage that Paul talks about is undivided focus a single person can have. While a married person has another person they are thinking about, a single person is free to focus only on the things of God. Paul encourages singleness here, but not because he says marriage is wrong or sinful or something to be avoided.
I think Paul's intent in this passage is to encourage all to put their focus and attention on what God has given them. If one if married, then a certain amount of that attention and focus is on their spouse and on living in their marriage according to God's ways and plans. If one is single, then all of it in on pleasing only God and serving Him with their lives.
One of the common misapplications I've heard and seen, but thankfully never personally experienced, is the assumption that a single person should do anything and everything asked of them by the church. Basically, the idea that they must have more time and energy and should be spending it all on whatever the church decides they should do.
Being single does not mean someone doesn't have preferences and gifts, and doesn't have a right to say no to some things. God gifts all people and gives them different things to do and we need to allow that.
As a single person, I know my ability to serve God and my freedom to do things is very different from what it looks like for my married friends. I'm also very aware that there are some things I shouldn't be doing in the church because God didn't create me to do those things well, even though they would fit in my calendar.
Whether single or married, we need to respect people's decisions about how they use their time to serve God. Being single doesn't mean a person has to do everything. Just as being married doesn't mean there are only certain things a person can do.
As I look at all Paul has to say in 1 Corinthians 7, the conclusion I come to is that Paul valued both singleness and marriage. He saw some very good things that come with being single and he elevated singleness because of that. His teaching here and elsewhere also makes it clear that he didn't see marriage as bad or wrong.
If we're going to elevate singleness in our churches today from the place it has too often been - seen as just a waiting period - to something of value, then it's going to require that we wrestle with some other realities of how we think. I will be exploring these in some of my upcoming posts.
In the meantime, I'd love to hear your thoughts on what Scripture says. What do you see in 1 Corinthians 7?
Thursday, April 11, 2019
Tuesday, April 9, 2019
What Scripture Says About Singleness: Part One
What does Scripture say about singleness?
The truth is, it doesn't say much directly. Scripture is definitely much quieter on this than it is on the topic of marriage. But, that doesn't mean it's something we can ignore in the church today. There are simply too many single adults, whoa re past college-age, in our church to not take time to talk about this.
In my searching of Scripture on this, I found there really was only one passage where singleness is spoken about specifically and directly. In 1 Corinthians 7 Paul talks about singleness, alongside marriage.
As I began to look what biblical scholars and teachers had to say on this passage, I very quickly became frustrated. Very few even acknowledged Paul's words about singleness here. And those who did, almost exclusively talked about it as being a temporary thing as one prepared for marriage.
So, what does Paul say in 1 Corinthians 7? What can we learn from what he writes?
Verses 7-9 say:
That last reason seems most unlikely to me given all that Paul says about marriage in the rest of this chapter and in other letters he writes. The other two opinions seem more plausible to use, but I'm not sure we can be completely cure of why Paul wrote what he did.
Whatever he reasons for writing these words, one thing is clear: Paul saw singleness as something valuable and honourable. In saying he wished all could be like he was, Paul is giving singleness a place of importance in God's kingdom alongside marriage.
Even in his acknowledgement that marriage is better than burning with passion, Paul is not making singleness out to just a temporary waiting place in life. He is acknowledging that both are important.
I think we often skip these verses because they're not something we're comfortable with. I know that's been what I've done. The truth is they're not 100% clear. Paul doesn't say this is how you should look at singleness here.
There is still more than 1 Corinthians 7 has to say on this topic, but for the sake of keeping these posts a readable length, that will be the subject of the next post.
The truth is, it doesn't say much directly. Scripture is definitely much quieter on this than it is on the topic of marriage. But, that doesn't mean it's something we can ignore in the church today. There are simply too many single adults, whoa re past college-age, in our church to not take time to talk about this.
In my searching of Scripture on this, I found there really was only one passage where singleness is spoken about specifically and directly. In 1 Corinthians 7 Paul talks about singleness, alongside marriage.
As I began to look what biblical scholars and teachers had to say on this passage, I very quickly became frustrated. Very few even acknowledged Paul's words about singleness here. And those who did, almost exclusively talked about it as being a temporary thing as one prepared for marriage.
So, what does Paul say in 1 Corinthians 7? What can we learn from what he writes?
Verses 7-9 say:
"I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to unmarried and widows I say: it is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."While Paul may have been married at one point, he wasn't when he wrote this letter. In these verses, Paul is encouraging people to remain single. Scholars I read debate the reason why Paul encourages this here. Some saying it was because of persecution the Corinthian Christians were facing; others said it was because Paul was convinced that Jesus' second coming would happen very soon; still others said it was because Paul didn't like marriage.
That last reason seems most unlikely to me given all that Paul says about marriage in the rest of this chapter and in other letters he writes. The other two opinions seem more plausible to use, but I'm not sure we can be completely cure of why Paul wrote what he did.
Whatever he reasons for writing these words, one thing is clear: Paul saw singleness as something valuable and honourable. In saying he wished all could be like he was, Paul is giving singleness a place of importance in God's kingdom alongside marriage.
Even in his acknowledgement that marriage is better than burning with passion, Paul is not making singleness out to just a temporary waiting place in life. He is acknowledging that both are important.
I think we often skip these verses because they're not something we're comfortable with. I know that's been what I've done. The truth is they're not 100% clear. Paul doesn't say this is how you should look at singleness here.
There is still more than 1 Corinthians 7 has to say on this topic, but for the sake of keeping these posts a readable length, that will be the subject of the next post.
Tuesday, April 2, 2019
Why We Need to Talk More About Singleness in the Church
What does the Bible say about singleness?
How should we engage in discussions about singleness as the church?
Why should we talk about singleness?
These questions and some others have been ones I've been wrestling with for a while. As a single Christian, committed to the church as a whole and to a local gathering of the church, these questions are deeply personal.
As I've wrestled with these questions, they've become a series of blog posts.I don't know how many posts yet, but I've been challenged that we need to be having this conversation in the church more than we are and we need to have it differently than we have in the past. This isn't an easy discussion to have, but it's vital to the church in our rapidly changing culture.
It's no longer the norm in our society to get married, have kids, and stay married. This may have remained the norm in the church for a little longer than society as a whole, but it's no longer the norm in the church either. People are getting married later and more are not getting married at all. This means that single adults are a much larger percentage of our churches than they have been in the past. But, I've found that we do a poor job of addressing that.
As I've wrestled with this topic and dug into it, I've discovered a significant lack of resources on the topic. Standing in my local Christian bookstore, there were two shelves related to marriage, along with over half the books in the section for women also talking about being a wife and/or mother. After some more looking, I found the very small section labelled "singles." It consisted of five books, and all but one of them was about preparing for marriage. As I turned my search elsewhere, I discovered a few more resources, although still a staggeringly few in comparison to what is available on marriage.
While the handful of practical books I found on the topic of singleness were good, they're not likely to be read by someone who isn't single - even though they need to be. I think we need more than practical books, we need to understand what the Bible actually has to say about singleness.
As a single person, I've been taught a theology of marriage to go along with the practical I've heard and seen available. And that's a good thing. Even as a single person, I need that.
But, I wonder how many of us - particularly those who are married - have ever read or heard anything on a theology of singleness? Of what the Bible has to say about it?
As I searched for this, I came across a book that I found helpful and challenging. As with most of what I read, I found I both agreed and disagreed with what the author had to say. Reading the book I found was part of what really drove me to dig deeper and wrestle more with this topic.
The book is called The Significance of Singleness: A Theological Vision for the Future of the Church by Christina S. Hitchcock. As I read, I was driven back to Scripture to wrestle with its truth. I was also challenged to wrestle with my own thoughts and experiences as a single adult in the church.
As I read the introduction to the book, I was struck by some of what Hitchcock had to say on the topic. It seems fitting to share a bit of it here as I introduce these blog posts. Hitchcock is writing from the perspective of the American church, but when it comes to the topic of singleness, almost all of what she had to say fits with my experiences and the experiences of others I've talked to within the Canadian church.
Over the next while, many of my posts are going to be wrestling with singleness. Wrestling with what the Bible says about it, what it looks like in the church, what it looks like in life in general. These aren't easy topics and not all of them are comfortable. There are places that really wrestling with this took me that aren't places I've usually written about here, but are an incredibly important part of the conversation.
I don't pretend to be an expert on this. I'm certainly not a biblical scholar. I'm a fellow pilgrim on the journey to become more like Christ and I invite you to wrestle with this with me. I'd love to hear your perspectives, experiences, and understanding of Scripture as I write these posts. Lets start this conversation that we've been missing or avoiding in the church, that we desperately need to have.
How should we engage in discussions about singleness as the church?
Why should we talk about singleness?
These questions and some others have been ones I've been wrestling with for a while. As a single Christian, committed to the church as a whole and to a local gathering of the church, these questions are deeply personal.
As I've wrestled with these questions, they've become a series of blog posts.I don't know how many posts yet, but I've been challenged that we need to be having this conversation in the church more than we are and we need to have it differently than we have in the past. This isn't an easy discussion to have, but it's vital to the church in our rapidly changing culture.
It's no longer the norm in our society to get married, have kids, and stay married. This may have remained the norm in the church for a little longer than society as a whole, but it's no longer the norm in the church either. People are getting married later and more are not getting married at all. This means that single adults are a much larger percentage of our churches than they have been in the past. But, I've found that we do a poor job of addressing that.
As I've wrestled with this topic and dug into it, I've discovered a significant lack of resources on the topic. Standing in my local Christian bookstore, there were two shelves related to marriage, along with over half the books in the section for women also talking about being a wife and/or mother. After some more looking, I found the very small section labelled "singles." It consisted of five books, and all but one of them was about preparing for marriage. As I turned my search elsewhere, I discovered a few more resources, although still a staggeringly few in comparison to what is available on marriage.
While the handful of practical books I found on the topic of singleness were good, they're not likely to be read by someone who isn't single - even though they need to be. I think we need more than practical books, we need to understand what the Bible actually has to say about singleness.
As a single person, I've been taught a theology of marriage to go along with the practical I've heard and seen available. And that's a good thing. Even as a single person, I need that.
But, I wonder how many of us - particularly those who are married - have ever read or heard anything on a theology of singleness? Of what the Bible has to say about it?
As I searched for this, I came across a book that I found helpful and challenging. As with most of what I read, I found I both agreed and disagreed with what the author had to say. Reading the book I found was part of what really drove me to dig deeper and wrestle more with this topic.
The book is called The Significance of Singleness: A Theological Vision for the Future of the Church by Christina S. Hitchcock. As I read, I was driven back to Scripture to wrestle with its truth. I was also challenged to wrestle with my own thoughts and experiences as a single adult in the church.
As I read the introduction to the book, I was struck by some of what Hitchcock had to say on the topic. It seems fitting to share a bit of it here as I introduce these blog posts. Hitchcock is writing from the perspective of the American church, but when it comes to the topic of singleness, almost all of what she had to say fits with my experiences and the experiences of others I've talked to within the Canadian church.
"American Christians adore marriage and are petrified by singleness. Our inability to think of singleness within the context of the entire kingdom of God has not only hurt our ability to live as single people and to live with single people; it has also damaged our ability to speak wisely, humbly, and biblically on subjects such as feminism, homosexuality, extra-marital sex, and even missions and evangelism. When anything take precedence over the kingdom, even God's good gifts, our theology starts to take a nosedive, and we'll see problems popping up all over the place. Singleness is not something to be endured, but neither is it something that is simply of practical usefulness to the church because single people have so much time and energy. The life of Christian singleness can serve as a picture of the gospel and what that means: participating in true community, finding identity in Christ, and receiving authority to act as God's agents in the world."
(Christina S. Hitchcock, The Significance of Singleness, pg. xxii)
Over the next while, many of my posts are going to be wrestling with singleness. Wrestling with what the Bible says about it, what it looks like in the church, what it looks like in life in general. These aren't easy topics and not all of them are comfortable. There are places that really wrestling with this took me that aren't places I've usually written about here, but are an incredibly important part of the conversation.
I don't pretend to be an expert on this. I'm certainly not a biblical scholar. I'm a fellow pilgrim on the journey to become more like Christ and I invite you to wrestle with this with me. I'd love to hear your perspectives, experiences, and understanding of Scripture as I write these posts. Lets start this conversation that we've been missing or avoiding in the church, that we desperately need to have.
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