I Just Need a Hug

 Who knew the day would come when I would be hesitant to utter (or write) those words?

Who knew the day would come that someone could say those words and not have an abundance of people offer an immediate hug?

But, that is the reality of the times we're living in right now. This isn't the time of greeting people with a hug.

(Before I go any further, let me be clear on one thing: This is not a space to debate the response to the current pandemic. There will be no tolerance for arguing about whether the right decisions have been made. I am talking about a need many have and how we can respond in a challenging time.)

Anyone who knows me will tell you I'm not a big hugger. I enjoy giving and receiving hugs, but I'm not someone who just hugs everyone I see. But, even I have reached the point where I would hug almost anyone willing to hug.

I understand why it's not happening right now. The reasoning makes sense to me. I get it. I'll respect the rules, guidelines, public health orders of this time.

I didn't realize how important something that seems as simple as a hug was to our health until that was limited and removed in most cases. I live alone, so there's not an option of people to hug in my house every day. This time has made me all the more grateful for the couple of people in my life who I do still get to hug - although sometimes that's still not enough.

And, if I'm struggling with this right now, then I can't even imagine what it's like for those who are huggers - for those whose default greeting of someone is a hug.

Science and human experience tells us how important that physical contact with others is for your health - physically, spiritually, emotionally. 

And, so I've been wrestling with this question:

How do we deal with our need for physical contact - for things like hugs - in a time when we need to limit our physical contact? What can we do?

Because if I'm honest, I'd just go for being able to sit closer to someone than two meters apart from someone.

I know from experience, the good a hug can do. I've been in situations where it calms my anxiety in a moment. I feel my shoulders relax. Even though, it doesn't remove the worries or hurts, it eases the pain and stress of it.

There is lots out there that supports to science of the good hugs do for us. A simple search will bring a lengthy list of scientific articles and news stories about them.

So, what does all this mean? How can we meet this need right now?

I don't know that I have a clear answer on it. I don't know that I have the answer.

But, what I will say . . . hug the people who are in your circle right now. Make the space for that, because I think we all need it right now.

And care about those who you can't hug. Take the time you can to still listen and be there. It might be the same as a hug, but even those conversations with others who care, who I know in other circumstances would freely offer a hug, still help.

Hug those in your circle as much as you all need to.

Listen to and care in other ways for those you can't hug right now.

Letting the Faith of Others Carry you in the Struggle

 A couple days ago, I got a message asking why I hadn't posted anything here in just over a month. I knew it had been a while, but I didn't realize it had been that long.

If I look at the notebook where I start most of my posts, I can see a lot of started and unfinished posts. Things I started to write, but had no idea how to finish or turn into something I would share. Thoughts about things that I can't yet get to a conclusion of any kind.

The last post I wrote and shared here challenged me as I read it. I was writing about getting through when you don't think you can. About what we need to do.

I talked about our need to invite community into our struggle. To have people we can be honest with about where we're at. It was easy to write that, but the truth is, it was harder to live that out. I wrote those words for others, not even realizing how much I would struggle to do exactly that in the last few weeks.

It wasn't until I completely reached the end of myself that I realized just how important it is to invite people into our struggle. It's not just a good thing to talk about. It's something we need to actually do. It wasn't until I actually reached out to friends and let them into my struggle that things began to change. My faith may be weak right now, but that's what community is for. We carry each other when someone is struggling. We carry them to Jesus.

When the whole premise of what you've written about for years is living as Christ's disciple and what that looks like practically, when things get hard, it's hard to write about it. But maybe honesty about things is the best place to start writing again.

I don't know what my writing will look like in the coming weeks. I don't know if there will be more that make its way to here. Or if it will continue to be unfinished ideas that don't make it here.

But can I encourage you with this: No matter where you're at spiritually, keep holding on. Keep sharing honestly with people in your life. When you're faith is struggling, ask the people around you to pray for you. Let their faith carry you when yours is weak.

When You're Not Sure if You Can Get Through It

 How do we get through hard times? 

How do we make it when it just seems like too much?

I know God doesn't promise an easy, trouble-free life, but sometimes it just doesn't feel possible to get through all that's going on at one time. And, if I'm honest, in those times, I wonder how I'm supposed to get through.

I share a few thoughts about this on my Facebook feed on Sunday night. I wasn't sure where it would go when I started writing it, or what the response would be when I posted it. But, what I discovered, is that I'm not the only one wrestling with this right now. So, I figured that after almost a month of no posts here, something on this topic would be a good way to start again.

I haven't posted here because I'm in the place I'm talking about and I haven't felt like I had anything to write about because of it. But, then I remember why I started this blog in the first place. Not because I intended to write about things where I had it all figured out, but to encourage others in their walks with God whatever it looked like. So maybe writing from a place of struggle is what I should do.

How do we get through hard times?

How do we make it when it just seems like too much?

I've been in the church long enough to know what the answer should be.

Cling to Jesus.

Read your Bible. Pray. 

All good things. But, sometimes that doesn't feel like enough. When reading the Bible doesn't connect and your prayers feel like they're bouncing off the ceiling, the "right" answer, the church answer, doesn't feel like enough.

So, what do we do then?

First, I think we need to be willing to admit it. Just be honest and say that we're struggling. To ourselves, and hopefully to trusted friends too. There's something about saying it or writing it down.

Then, we need to reach out. Those trusted friends. Our church community. The people we do life with. We need them. They're the people God has given us to help us through the times we don't know if we can get through it.

And, probably the hardest part, we need to keep reading our Bibles, keep praying, keep being a part of church. It might not feel like something we want to do right now. It might be the last thing we want to fill our time with. But, keeping on will make a difference in the long run. It may be a discipline right now, but the day will come when it becomes a delight to do those things again.