When it's Not Bad, But it's Not what You Had Planned

As I approach my 40th birthday, I've been more reflective than usual.

I think many of us feel that way as significant birthdays and other life milestones approach. We look at what is and what isn't in our lives. What we hoped for and what we're still hoping for.

My life today looks nothing like I thought it would at this point. Not what I thought growing up. Not even what I thought ten years ago.

It' would be easy to just focus on what I don't have that I thought I would at this point. That could get depressing pretty quickly, if all I focused on was the dreams that haven't happened yet and may not happen.

While reflecting on what hasn't happened can be a good thing, in moderation, we can't live there. We can't just live looking at what we wish we had. We have to shift our focus.

There are things we have that we wouldn't have if we'd gotten all we had hoped and dreamed for. It's just as important, if not more, to acknowledge those as well. Many of things things may be blessings we didn't even know about before they happened.

The biggest thing I'm reminded of is our need to approach this with gratitude. When we take the time to reflect on things, gratitude is vital. When we approach with gratitude, we're able to see how God was working in all that happened and all that we have. We can even begin to see how God is in the things we hoped and dreamed for that we don't have and may not receive.

The Silence In-Between

We have a tendency to want to jump straight from Good Friday to Resurrection Sunday.

We don't know what to do with Saturday.

We don't like Saturday.

Saturday is a day of silence. Of misunderstanding. Of confusion. Of doubt.

Even Scripture doesn't tell us anything about Saturday. Good Friday ends with Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus placing Jesus' body in a tomb (John 19:38-42). And then moves right into the account of the women coming to the tomb on Sunday and finding it empty (John 20:1-18).

Friday's despair becomes Sunday's celebration.

But, what about Saturday?

The silence doesn't mean that God wasn't still working out His plan that day. But, for Jesus' followers, the day wouldn't have been easy. Nothing was going the way they thought it should.

Confusion. Pain. Despair. Grief.

The companions of the day for many.

It's uncomfortable to sit in Saturday. So, we try to rush past it. Get through it as quickly as possible.

Bu, even though Scripture doesn't tell us explicitly of the actions of Jesus' followers on that day, we still know they walked through it. 

Saturday was the Sabbath. A day of rest. A day where they could do nothing but sit and wait and question what had happened. They had to wait until Sunday before they could do anything again.

Truthfully, Saturday is a place we often live in our everyday lives. We walk through times of pain and confusion. We have seasons when God seems silent and we wonder if He's paying attention to what's happening in our lives.

In John 20, we say what could maybe be a glimpse of what Jesus' followers did with their Saturday. Verse 19 says, "On the evening of that first day of the week, when the disciples were together . . ." 

The disciples were used to being together, eating together, doing life together. They continued to be together. They shared their experience. Instead of being alone in their confusion, pain, and grief, they were together.

So, what do we do with Saturday?

How do we handle the pain and confusion of the silence that seems to fall?

We hold to the truth that God is still working, even though we can't see it. And we hold to each other. We don't attempt tp get through it alone.

What We Really Need

 A recent Friday night involved a movie night with my sister and my niece. Even though I'm not someone who watches a lot of movies, there was something really enjoyable about settling in on the couch together with a bowl of popcorn to watch the movie.

We watched "Puss in Boots: The Last Wish". If you've watched any of the Shrek movies, then you'll be familiar with this character, who takes center stage in this movie.

Without giving away too much of the movie, it's about the pursuit of a wish and the challenges and obstacles to get there. And the people (well, fairy tale characters) along the way. As is typical for these types of movies, it's a "happily ever after" ending.

But, it was some of the things along the way that made me think. They reminded me of some very important things. That that are actually needed as we go through life and face what comes our way.

If you remember the character of Puss in Boots from the Shrek movies, you know he was very independent and claimed not to need anyone. But, this independent, push everyone away way of living has a cost. When things get hard, or there's opposition, he doesn't have anywhere or anyone to turn to - at least at first.

As I watched, I was struck by how often that is our story - how often it's my story. When things are going well, we push people away because we can do it on our own. We may not even realize we're doing so. 

And then we don't have anywhere or anyone to turn to when life gets hard. Or we do, but we're not in the habit of doing so, and it seems that much more difficult to do so. We feel like we have to keep quiet about it and keep looking like we have it all together.

Opposition comes and we're facing the battle alone.

Attacks from the enemy come and we're more susceptible because we're standing alone and exposed.

This isn't how we were meant to live. It's not what God intended.

What God created us for looks more like this:

Fear comes and we tell those walking with us. They help us walk through the fear. They encourage us, hold us up, remind us we can get through it.

Opposition comes and we have people around us who can fight for us and with us.

Attacks from the enemy come and we're protected because we stand with others. We have others around us who help protect our weak and vulnerable spots.

By the end of the movie, these lessons have been learned by Puss in Boots and the other characters along the journey. The care they have for one another is visible as they all "live happily ever after."

I know that real life doesn't always wrap up nicely like a movie, but the lesson are still the same.