The Limitations of our Labels

 Labels.

We use them everywhere in life. They're on items we purchase. They tell us what we need to know about lots of items in our lives - whether it's the ingredients or the use. 

They're usually helpful. And, often, they're necessary.

We also use labels for people. And they can be somewhat helpful in some situations. But. it's easy to take our labels too far with people.

Labels can help us create groups of similar people that may be interested in particular things. They can help us identify who certain groups or classes or events may be most appropriate for or interesting to.

The problems comes when we start using labels as someone's identity. When we take something that may be one of the many things about a person and make the only thing about the person, we use labels wrongly. We use them in a way that causes pain to people when we do this - whether we do this to other people or to ourselves.

I've dealt with this in a couple of specific situations in my life. The first being with the label of being single. It's absolutely true that I am single. It's a label that is factually true. But, I've been in situations where I'm being introduced to new people and the introduction I get essentially boils down to: "This is Tamara. She's single."

In those five words, the person introducing me us using "single" as my identity. Completely ignoring the fact that I'm also a friend, daughter, sister, auntie, ministry leader, etc. Somehow being single is who I am in these words, and it hurts to have my identity boiled down to a label that only describes a part of my life.

While others often take labels and make our identity, we can also do that to ourselves. I know I have. I've written here before about my struggles with anxiety and what it means to life a diagnosis of Social Anxiety Disorder. In that previous sentence, I chose my words carefully. I struggle with anxiety and I have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. 

In the past, I have made those labels my identity; I used the words "I am an anxious person" to describe myself. It may not seem like a big deal in the moment, but those words change everything in how I think about myself. I don't want anxiety to be my identity.

So, while labels can be helpful, they have limitations. We need to make sure we're not turning them into identities - whether for others or ourselves.

The One Sunday of the Year I'm Very Tempted to Just Skip Church

 It's not very often that I'm tempted to skip church. But, there is one weekend where it becomes a serious consideration.

What Sunday is that?

Mother's Day.

And not because I have anything against the day. 

Or because I don't have a good relationship with my own mother. We have our disagreements, but, for the most part, we have a good relationship.

So, why is it a weekend I'm tempted to skip church?

Because of how Mother's Day has been handled so often in the past. Always, with really good intentions of celebrating and affirming the mothers in church that morning.

But, also, often hard for many. For those who don't have children of their own, because they've never had the chance. For those who don't have children, because they haven't been able to. For those who have lost a child. For those who didn't or don't have a good relationship with their mothers. For those who recently lost their mother.

In the process of honouring mothers on this day, there have been many times that I have been the only woman in the part of the church sanctuary I was sitting in who was still seated when they asked all the mothers in the service to stand. Or the times, a hand offering the gift that morning to the mothers there has been pulled back from me when they realize who I am.

All of those moments, painful reminders that my life doesn't look like I thought it would. That I don't have a part of my life that I thought I would by now.

And, so I'm tempted to skip church on Mother's Day. Not just choose to join online instead, but completely skip it.

So, what do we do?

I won't say we shouldn't acknowledge the mothers at church. But, we need to be creative in doing so in a way that doesn't so obviously identify who does not have children. 

Do Your Circumstances Determine How You See God?

 "We tend to judge God by our circumstances, rather than our circumstances by who we know God is."

I heard that statement recently on a podcast I was listening to. I back the podcast up a couple minutes to listen again, so I could write it down without missing a word.

Let me say it again:

"We tend to judge God by our circumstances, rather than our circumstance by who we know God is."

Now, let me ask you what you tendency is:

Do you tend to judge God by your circumstances?

Or do you judge your circumstances by who you know God is?

It you're anything like me, there's the way you want to answer this . . . the way that you know should be true, and is sometimes. But, to be honest, we also have to admit that we the other sometimes too.

And how we answer that question has major implications for how we live and how we walk through whatever circumstances we're facing.

When we judge God by our circumstances, our response to and interaction with Him changes based on what we're facing. When things are good, God is good is loves us. When our circumstances get hard or something unexpected comes, we begin to doubt God. We wonder if He loves us. We wonder if He cares. And we begin to operate as He's unjust and uncaring. We can easily get overwhelmed and give up hope.

When we look at our circumstances through the lens of who we know God is, it doesn't remove the fact that things can be hard sometimes, or that we have questions and doubts. It means that we hold on to who we know God is in the middle of those doubts and questions. We have an anchor to hold onto in the hard times.

To see our circumstances through the lens of who God is, requires that we take the time to get to know Him. To develop a relationship with Him. Something we can lean on when things are hard and questions do come.