Navigating the Holiday Season Alone - Part 2

In my last post, I wrote about being alone in the midst of this season and something God showed me through His Word. It wasn't where I was planning to go, but it was a good starting place. This post is a little bit more practical in how to navigate this season.

I'm going to start with what is arguably the most difficult part of navigating this, but I would say also the most important. It has nothing to do with the actions of others. It's all about our heart and how we choose to respond.

My first practical suggestion on how to navigate this season: assume the best of others and don't take offense. This isn't easy and it's not usually our first reaction. But it's vital.

When you don't get the invite or you get a generic invite for you and your partner, it's easy to start thinking about how insensitive people are or to assume they did it intentionally. But, that just puts us in a prison of our own making.

Start by talking to God about it when this happens. As Him to help you not be offended, to not hold onto hurt or offense.

That leads to my second suggestion: if the person is a trusted friend, take the courageous step of talking to them about it. Don't go into the conversation blaming them for it. But, be brave enough to tell them that you struggled and were by being the only one excluded. Don't tell them what they were thinking or did; tell them what your experience of it was. This can be a great opportunity for you both to understand each other better.

In the midst of it all, remember where your identity is found. It's not found in your relationship status or the number of invites you get to holiday parties. It comes from being a child of God and He loves you exactly as you are.

Navigating the Holiday Season Alone

 It's the time of year where it can feel like singleness is seen as more of an issue than otherwise. There's always times and places where not having a partner feel a bit awkward, but for some reason at this time of year, it's even more so than usual.

But the season of invitations sent to "you and your partner" has begun. These invitations even come from those who know you're single.

It's the season of walking alone into holiday parties that are completely set up for couples.

Or of net even being invited to things with people you usually spend lots of time with simply because you're single.

And that means it can be a season of more alone-ness. Of more feeling on the outside. A season of the pain of exclusion or differentness, all while being told to merry and joyful.

It can be hard. There have been times when I've wanted nothing more than to turn the pages on the calendar quickly so we can get past this all and things go back to normal.

As I've wrestled through how to navigate this time of year, I was looking for practical tips and tools. I wanted a clear way to manager this without the hurt. But, that's not what I found.

Instead, I found myself drawn to the familiar Christmas story. To Mary and Joseph's experience. An unwed couple. Mary pregnant and saying it was from God. In their culture, this was absolutely scandalous. It left them on the outside - excluded.

All they could do was trust God and hold onto His promise to them.

As I reflected on this. I felt like God was reminding me that he sees and cares for the one who feels outside. Even though things didn't look like Mary and Joseph would have expected and it was hard, they weren't alone. God saw them and cared for them.

He does the same for us.

While being single during the holiday season is different than Mary and Joseph's story, the reminder that God sees us through it is valuable and important.

Whatever our situation, however we feel in it, God sees us and is with us.

People Are Complex

Today was a day where I got unexpected, yet somewhat expected news, about someone I grew up with. Not, the kind of news you want to get about someone and the end of their life.

I wasn't surprised that things came to this. But, I also wasn't prepared for it to come to this.

It's made me think about how people are complex beings. And that makes relationships complex things.

This person had their challenges. They were hard to be with at times. Unpredictable. 

At the same time, underneath all the pain in their life, they had a heart of gold. They cared about the people around them, even if they had a difficult time expressing it or acting like it at times.

Isn't that true of so many people?

Even if there are challenges and difficulties in our relationships with them, there's often also good things in those same relationships.

I'm not talking about relationships where it's dangerous to be with them. That's different.

But, when that's not the case, we live with these complex situations all the time.

I'm honestly not sure how to wrap this up today. These are the thoughts running through my mind as the reality of this news sinks in.