Sharing the Other Perspective

 I had a brief conversation with a friend recently that made me realize the need to explain things where the perspective is different. It wasn't about anything that would have a huge impact on someone's life, but it was still important.

We were talking about going to a movie. My friend made the comment that you didn't really need to book movie tickets together, because you would be watching a movie, not talking anyways. In theory, that's true. But, there's also something I realized in the moment that made her experience of going to the movies different than mine.

She made the comment under the assumption that was going with her husband, and meeting others at the movie was a nice, but not necessary thing. Not a spoken assumption, or even one she was necessarily aware of. I had a choice in that moment: I could say nothing and let it be, or I could help her see it from my perspective. This was a good friend, so I decided to say something in that conversation.

As a single person, I want to book and purchase the movie tickets together, so that we're sitting together. Even though we're not talking during the movie, it matters that I'm sitting with people I know if we talked about going to the movie together. If I book my ticket on my own, I'll likely be sitting completely alone for movie; whereas, for my friend, she's sitting with her husband.

I'm not opposed to or afraid of going to things by myself. I do it a lot. But, when I talk about doing things with someone, I want to actually sit with them. Sitting alone in a movie theater, even knowing I have friends in the theater, doesn't quite feel like what the plan was, and it can make me feel on the outside again.

I share this experience, not to talk about going to the movies, or about going to things alone. I share it to highlight how easily we can misunderstand people and take offense it we're not willing to dig deeper.

I could have said nothing and let my feelings of not being understood fester, but that wouldn't have helped me or my friend. It likely would have damaged our friendship, at least for a bit.

By saying something, our friendship gained more understanding of each other instead. I didn't belabour the point. I simply stated it and we moved on, but it was an important couple of minutes.

Faithful & Disappointed

 Sometimes it's easy to rush past the first chapter of Luke to get to the "Christmas story," but I've discovered some amazing things in Luke 1:1-25 as I've spent time there first. The story of Zechariah & Elizabeth, & the miraculous birth that would also be their story.

Zechariah & Elizabeth were both descendants of priests. At the time of what is written in Luke 1, Zechariah's division of priests was on duty at the temple.

Luke 1:6-7 says this about them:

"Both of them were righteous in the sight of God, observing all the Lord's commands and decrees blamelessly. But they were childless because Elizabeth was not able to conceive, and they were both very old."

In a couple of verses, Luke gets right to the heart of who Zechariah & Elizabeth are. After a little biographical information, we hear about their faithfulness to God and their biggest struggle.

Zechariah & Elizabeth were faithful to God. They served and obeyed Him. And they did all of this while also being disappointed. It was very hard that Elizabeth had been unable to conceive in their culture.

Faithful and disappointed.

Those words don't seem to go together at first glance, but I think they're apt descriptors of how many of us live. We're doing our best to be faithful to God, yet there's something that we're still waiting and hoping for - something we're disappointed about.

We continue on faithfully following God, but there's something we keep wondering if it will ever happen. We struggle to hold onto hope about it, because circumstances say it's probably not possible now. So our faithfulness is tinged with disappointment.

A few verses later, we see God show up in Zechariah's disappointment. It's not so much about what he was told would happen - although it's amazing - as it is about what the angel said to him first that I want to pay attention to.

"But the angel said to him, 'Do not be afraid Zechariah; your prayer has been heard'." (Luke 1:13a)

It's so often the case that when we're disappointed, we begin to fear that God isn't hearing our prayers. The angel reminds Zechariah that God has heard his prayers. That he doesn't have to fear or wonder if God has heard him.

Where are you wrestling with disappointment in your life?

How can you continually be faithful to God, even in the midst of your disappointment?

"A Holly, Jolly Christmas"

 I was listening to one of my Christmas albums as I drove home from errands a couple of days ago. The lyrics to one of the songs made me stop and think a bit. 

"Have a holly, jolly Christmas, 

It's the best time of the year

Now I don't know if there'll be snow

But have a cup of cheer.

. . .

Have a holly, jolly Christmas

And in case you didn't hear

Oh, by golly

Have a holly, jolly Christmas this year."

It's a fun song. There's nothing wrong with it, in terms of what it says.

But, as I listened, I realized this was the first time in a few years that I hadn't skipped over the song as soon as it started. A "holly, jolly Christmas" was not something I felt was possible the last few years. I was still grieving the loss of my Grandma, and Christmas was full of things that reminded me of her. Christmas was hard, and while there were really good moments, it was definitely not a "holly, jolly Christmas."

As I kept listening to the song, I started to reflect on how many of our Christmas songs are all about having a great time, about laughter, about joy. There's nothing wrong with any of that. Those are good things and the songs are good.

And we argue about whether we should wish someone a "merry Christmas" or "happy holidays" or something along those lines. But, the sentiment of what we argue about saying is all the same thing to people. They're about joy and happiness and good times.

Except that's not the reality of a lot of people. Life isn't full of joy and happiness. It's hard. It's painful. It's messy. There's family conflict, and serious illness, and loss that are part of it. And, the Christmas season doesn't remove those things or suddenly make them easier. Often, it actually makes them more difficult.

And, as I reflect on the original Christmas story, I wonder if our focus on the joy and happiness to the exclusion of everything else, is a bit misplaced. Things were not easy for God's people at the time that Jesus came. They were living under the control of the Roman empire. They lived in poverty and oppression. This is what Jesus was born into.

Yes, Mary and Joseph trusted God and moved forward with the parts He had given them in His plan. Yes, the shepherds came and worshipped and shared the news as they left. Yes, the wise men came from the faraway land with gifts to worship Jesus the King.

But, Jesus coming didn't erase the other facts of their lives. Jesus coming didn't mean that they weren't still living under the rule of the Roman empire. 

Jesus entered into the pain of the people. He met them in it. We see that all through His ministry in the gospels. 

And, maybe we can being to do that. We can worship in the midst of the pain and the struggle. We can see all that Jesus coming brought, without having to pretend to be happy, or that our hard circumstances don't exist.

Alongside the songs about having "a holly, jolly Christmas" we can have the lament. The cries of pain. The cries of "Come Thou Long Expected Jesus." Neither one option or the other is adequate on it's own. We need them both alongside each other. 

And we need to allow both the joy and lament at this time of year. It's not a merry Christmas for everyone, and that's okay. We can and should allow for all that comes with this time of year.