So, I back home . . . tired, sore, and still cold . . . but I just had the best day that I have had in the last little while. My roommates and some of our friends and I just spent the afternoon tobogganing, having snowball fights, and just generally acting like kids again! It was so much fun!!!!! I haven't done any of that stuff in so long . . . and I needed to.
I tend to be someone who takes life pretty seriously (unless I've stayed up all night and I'm running on caffiene . . . which is just scary). And taking life seriously isn't always a bad thing. There are times when it's good to take life seriously. But, I have a tendency, especially when things happen that make life not so easy are going on in my life, to take life too seriously at times.
For the last month or so, since my uncle died, I have taken all of life quite seriously and I haven't had a lot of fun with anything that I've done. But, today, I just let it all go and played int he snow with my friends like I used to when I was a kid. It was so good! And it was so what I needed right now!
I know it's something that I need to learn . . . to not take life too seriously all the time. And today was another step in learning that for me.
All I have to say to close, is that I absolutely love the snow . . . it's the one time when it appears to be OK for adults to act like kids again.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Thursday, December 27, 2007
missions and shadow missions
I was finishing up the book When the Game is over it All Goes Back in the Box by John Ortberg tonight, and a couple of the chapters I read brought me back to something he had spoken about this past summer at Leadership Summit. He talked about the hwole idea that we all have a mission in life, but we all also have shadow mission that distracts us from what we are really called to do in life.
Ortberg talks about how our mission in life is that thing that drives us to do something. Something in the world that causes us to do whatever we can to fix the situations. Something that we can't just leave alone and ignore. Frederick Buechner puts it this way: "The place where God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet." Meaning that our mission is something that we know that we need to do and it is something that the world needs to have done.
At one point in his talking about our mission, Ortberg says the following:
If you want a sense of mission to burn brightly in you, spend some time feeding your divine discontent. Usually we try to avoid unpleasantness, but if you have a sense that your mission involves helping the poor, spend time around those in poverty. Allow your emotions to become deeply engaged, and carry with you that fire that things must change.
We need to allow those things that cause us to want to do something to change things to be a part of our lives. It won't always be fun, but by doing this we can live a life that has a purpose that goes beyond making money.
Ortberg also talks about how we have a shadow mission in our lives as well. He describes the shadow mission this way:
Just as we all have a mission - a way of sontributing the God's kingdom that we were designed and gofted for - we also have what might be called a shadow mission. My shadow mission is what I will do with my life if I drift on autopilot. It consists of activities toward which I will gravitate if I allow my natural temptations and selfishness to take over.
When we begin to ignore the mission that God has given us - the divine discontent with the way things are in the world, that is when we get distracted by our shadow mission. Our shadow mission can be seemingly harmless, but it is harmful in that it stops us from doing what we are called to do. Our shadow mission can also be harmful if it draws us into activities that are unhealthy or sangerous.
We all need people in our lives who will call us on it when we begin to get distracted by our shadow mission. People who know us well enough and are comfortable enough with us that they will confront us when we ignore the mission that we have been called for. Often when we get distracted by our shadow mission we won't realize it and we need these people to draw us back to reality.
In the book, Ortberg uses the example of Esther to illustrate this idea. While it may not have looked like it in the beginning, Esther was int he position she was in as queen to be able to help her people - the Israelites - when they needed it. It would have been quite easy for her to get distracted by the fact that she was chosen queen because of her beauty and to just keep on living in the lap of luxury with beauty treatments and riches. But, when the situation arose for her to act, and she was hesistant to do so, she also had someone in her life who was willing to call her on it - willing to keep her from getting distracted by her shadow mission and keep her focused on the mission she now had before her.
All of this has really gotten me thinking about my own life . . . and I hope it will get you thinking about yours.
What is my mission? What it that one that one thing that I cannot leave as it is? What is it that drives me to act?
What is my shadow mission? If I just start going through life on autopilot, what is it that I will tend to do? What will I fill my time with when I just go through life without any thought as to what I am called to do?
Who are the people in my life who will call me on it when I get distracted by my shadow mission? Who knows me well enough to help me identify what God is calling me to do? Who loves me enough to challenge me when I shrink back from what God has called me to do?
My answers to those questions are not coming easily. I have been thinking about them for a while tonight already, and I still don't have all the answers for myself. But I think that they are important for us to ask ourselves.
Ortberg talks about how our mission in life is that thing that drives us to do something. Something in the world that causes us to do whatever we can to fix the situations. Something that we can't just leave alone and ignore. Frederick Buechner puts it this way: "The place where God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet." Meaning that our mission is something that we know that we need to do and it is something that the world needs to have done.
At one point in his talking about our mission, Ortberg says the following:
If you want a sense of mission to burn brightly in you, spend some time feeding your divine discontent. Usually we try to avoid unpleasantness, but if you have a sense that your mission involves helping the poor, spend time around those in poverty. Allow your emotions to become deeply engaged, and carry with you that fire that things must change.
We need to allow those things that cause us to want to do something to change things to be a part of our lives. It won't always be fun, but by doing this we can live a life that has a purpose that goes beyond making money.
Ortberg also talks about how we have a shadow mission in our lives as well. He describes the shadow mission this way:
Just as we all have a mission - a way of sontributing the God's kingdom that we were designed and gofted for - we also have what might be called a shadow mission. My shadow mission is what I will do with my life if I drift on autopilot. It consists of activities toward which I will gravitate if I allow my natural temptations and selfishness to take over.
When we begin to ignore the mission that God has given us - the divine discontent with the way things are in the world, that is when we get distracted by our shadow mission. Our shadow mission can be seemingly harmless, but it is harmful in that it stops us from doing what we are called to do. Our shadow mission can also be harmful if it draws us into activities that are unhealthy or sangerous.
We all need people in our lives who will call us on it when we begin to get distracted by our shadow mission. People who know us well enough and are comfortable enough with us that they will confront us when we ignore the mission that we have been called for. Often when we get distracted by our shadow mission we won't realize it and we need these people to draw us back to reality.
In the book, Ortberg uses the example of Esther to illustrate this idea. While it may not have looked like it in the beginning, Esther was int he position she was in as queen to be able to help her people - the Israelites - when they needed it. It would have been quite easy for her to get distracted by the fact that she was chosen queen because of her beauty and to just keep on living in the lap of luxury with beauty treatments and riches. But, when the situation arose for her to act, and she was hesistant to do so, she also had someone in her life who was willing to call her on it - willing to keep her from getting distracted by her shadow mission and keep her focused on the mission she now had before her.
All of this has really gotten me thinking about my own life . . . and I hope it will get you thinking about yours.
What is my mission? What it that one that one thing that I cannot leave as it is? What is it that drives me to act?
What is my shadow mission? If I just start going through life on autopilot, what is it that I will tend to do? What will I fill my time with when I just go through life without any thought as to what I am called to do?
Who are the people in my life who will call me on it when I get distracted by my shadow mission? Who knows me well enough to help me identify what God is calling me to do? Who loves me enough to challenge me when I shrink back from what God has called me to do?
My answers to those questions are not coming easily. I have been thinking about them for a while tonight already, and I still don't have all the answers for myself. But I think that they are important for us to ask ourselves.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
reflecting on my own Christmas
So, I'm back home in my apartment . . . no roommates yet . . . and I've been reflecting a bit on today. By all standards it was a good Christmas. I had an amazing day with my family! Lots of fun and laughter and enjoyment of each others company. Even the exchanging of gifts (I'm not usually a fan of this part of the day) was enjoyable . . . and the food was delicious (my Grandma always does an amazing job on the dinner).
But, it was also a strange Christmas . . . it's just a little over a month since my uncle passed away. The first Christmas in a number of years without him . . . seeing his fiance (they never did get married before he died) sitting there at the table alone, with people who have become her family over the past few years. There was something missing this year.
We still had laughter . . . brought on mostly by my cousins' 8-1/2 month old daughter . . . but there was noticeably less of it than there usually is at a holiday with family. It was still good to be together . . . but in everything we did, it felt like there was something - someone - missing.
I think we were all a bit more reflective this year than usual. I mean, we all know that with the age that my cousins and I are we won't all be together at every holiday anymore, cuz we'll have other family commitments as we get married and all that. But, this year was different . . . we were all there, except for one important person . . . and he won't be there next year at Christmas, or at Easter in spring, or Thanksgiving in fall . . . and it doesn't feel right.
But, in the midst of all that today, I had the words to a song that I was listening to as I drove to meet my family for the day running through my head. It's a song written by a friend of a friend from when I was at Briercrest. This song has honestly become one of my favorites and one that has encouraged me a lot in the last month or so. The song is called, When I Walk Through the Dark. Here are the words to the song (I was hoping to upload it, but I couldn't get it to work).
When the pain seems like too much to take
When my heart can't stand enough the break
When the battle's wearing down on me
Stay by my side to comfort and guide me
When my feet don't know which step to take
When my heart's not sure which choice to make
When my eyes are blind to sights I see
Help me to know You're right beside me
(chorus)
Hold my hand when I walk through the dark
Speak my name so I know where you are
With You close I will not wander far away
When I walk through the dark
When the clouds block out the light of day
When the summer skies return to grey
When the rains pouir down and I can't see
Stay by my side, and come through this with me
(chorus)
(bridge)
Cover me, with Your love
I don't want to lose my way
And give up all the good here for me
You have planned what's best for me
So I want to be faithful to You
You are here as I walk through the dark
Your voice says "Child, I know where you are"
With You close I will follow the path You make
And walk on through the dark
Your voice says :Child, I know where you are"
With You close I will not wander far away
When I walk through the dark
The words to the chorus of the song have just become my prayer on so many occassions in the last month, as I have walked through the valley of grief. Sometimes things have seemed pretty dark in the last month . . . and today really could have been another one of those days. Yet, I know that there was joy and excitement in today because God is walking through this valley with us.
But, it was also a strange Christmas . . . it's just a little over a month since my uncle passed away. The first Christmas in a number of years without him . . . seeing his fiance (they never did get married before he died) sitting there at the table alone, with people who have become her family over the past few years. There was something missing this year.
We still had laughter . . . brought on mostly by my cousins' 8-1/2 month old daughter . . . but there was noticeably less of it than there usually is at a holiday with family. It was still good to be together . . . but in everything we did, it felt like there was something - someone - missing.
I think we were all a bit more reflective this year than usual. I mean, we all know that with the age that my cousins and I are we won't all be together at every holiday anymore, cuz we'll have other family commitments as we get married and all that. But, this year was different . . . we were all there, except for one important person . . . and he won't be there next year at Christmas, or at Easter in spring, or Thanksgiving in fall . . . and it doesn't feel right.
But, in the midst of all that today, I had the words to a song that I was listening to as I drove to meet my family for the day running through my head. It's a song written by a friend of a friend from when I was at Briercrest. This song has honestly become one of my favorites and one that has encouraged me a lot in the last month or so. The song is called, When I Walk Through the Dark. Here are the words to the song (I was hoping to upload it, but I couldn't get it to work).
When the pain seems like too much to take
When my heart can't stand enough the break
When the battle's wearing down on me
Stay by my side to comfort and guide me
When my feet don't know which step to take
When my heart's not sure which choice to make
When my eyes are blind to sights I see
Help me to know You're right beside me
(chorus)
Hold my hand when I walk through the dark
Speak my name so I know where you are
With You close I will not wander far away
When I walk through the dark
When the clouds block out the light of day
When the summer skies return to grey
When the rains pouir down and I can't see
Stay by my side, and come through this with me
(chorus)
(bridge)
Cover me, with Your love
I don't want to lose my way
And give up all the good here for me
You have planned what's best for me
So I want to be faithful to You
You are here as I walk through the dark
Your voice says "Child, I know where you are"
With You close I will follow the path You make
And walk on through the dark
Your voice says :Child, I know where you are"
With You close I will not wander far away
When I walk through the dark
The words to the chorus of the song have just become my prayer on so many occassions in the last month, as I have walked through the valley of grief. Sometimes things have seemed pretty dark in the last month . . . and today really could have been another one of those days. Yet, I know that there was joy and excitement in today because God is walking through this valley with us.
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