Thursday, September 30, 2010

what are your dreams?

What are those things that you dream of doing?
What are those things that you imagine accomplishing one day?
Have any of your dreams come true? How?

I have been thinking a lot about those questions lately. In the past few months, I have watched a few of my friends have their dreams come true - dreams of all different kinds and looks - but dreams they have had nonetheless.

When I see someone else's dream come true it produces mixed emotions in me. It give me hope that one day my dreams can come true. And, at the same time, it makes me wonder when it will be my turn for a dream to come true and how long I have to wait for that day. It is hard to be in the "in-between" stage where you know what the dream is, but it has yet to come true. It takes patience to remain in that place and to keep taking the steps necessary towards the dream being fulfilled.

As I started to think about the dreams I have, I started to notice a pattern - the dreams that seem the most impossible when I look at them are most often the dreams that I know God has given me. I look at them and think: "there's no way I could ever do that" or "there's no way that will ever happen." Yet, God has given me that dream. It seems as though fulfilling the dreams God gives me requires faith and a willingness to step out and take a risk.

That is not the way I prefer to operate. I want to know where the next step will take me before I take it. But, with these dreams it seems as though God is saying: "take that step, trust Me." That does not come naturally to me. I do not like to take risks, but God is showing me that oftentimes the way to fulfilling my dreams requires me to take risks - to take steps into the unknown, trusting that He knows where I am going and is guiding my steps.

Dreams . . . the more I think about it, the more I realize that they are essential to living life to the full. Without dreams we just kind of go through each day without excitement or purpose. When we have dreams that we are looking to, we have a direction to go, a purpose for moving forward. Dreams are important to life and to our relationship with God.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

any other way

Once again, a blog post coming from a song I was listening to where the words struck me and started me thinking. This time the song is by Tenth Avenue North, called Any Other Way.



As I was reading over and listening to the song, I found myself thinking about it in terms of our relationships with other believers. But then when I got to the end, I realized that it was probably talking about our relationship with God. But, I feel that both ways of looking at it apply in this song.

Don't say goodbye, don't say hello
We're just standing on the surface
Don't say alright, don't say I know
I promise it's not worth it
 I want to know who you are
Even if you're falling apart
Reach in and touch your scars
And all the shame you're kept in your heart

'Cause it's not enough
It's not enough just to say that we're okay
I need your hurt, I need your pain
It's not love any other way

Let's not pretend, stop your parade
Trying to convince me
That you're alright and everything's okay
Do you even know me?
'Cause I already know who you are
And all the things that kept us apart
So reach in and touch my scars
And know the price I paid for your heart

'Cause it's not enough
It's not enough just to say that we're okay
I need your hurt, I need your pain
It's not love any other way

A broken and contrite I will not despise
Come as you are and I won't close my eyes
I won't close my eyes
I won't close my eyes
'Cause it's not enough
It's not enough just to say that you're okay
Well, you needed my hurt
You needed my pain
It's not love any other way

As I was thinking about it in terms of our relationships with fellow disciples of Christ, I was thinking about how we so often put up a front that says we are okay - even if we are falling apart and hurting behind that. We do not let anyone get close enough to really know us and to see our pain. But, I think we need that. We need to allow people in to the deepest parts of us. It is risky to let people in there, but it is what we need.

When I spent more time dwelling on the lyrics and saw how they were talking about our relationship with Jesus, I was struck by how we do much the same thing with Jesus that we do with fellow disciple of Christ. We try to hide what is really going on - we put up a front that all is good in our lives. We refuse to let Jesus into the hurt in our lives. But, letting Jesus into that pain and hurt is probably the least risky thing we can do because we can trust Him completely. Whereas another person may hurt us more if we let them in, Jesus will bring His healing to that pain if we allow Him in.

Some questions I am pondering right now about this:
How am I doing at taking down the front I usually put up with other people?
Do I have people in my life who I allow to see that I am not always okay?
Do I have people in my life who I allow to see my pain?
Am I letting Jesus in? Or am I trying to put up a front with Him too?
Am I willing to allow Jesus into the very depths of my pain - my shame - my hurt - so that I can experience His healing?

Friday, September 17, 2010

who we are - who we want to be - finding freedom

If you have not figured it out already, I have a bit of an eclectic taste in music and music in general plays an important part in my life. Music is one of the big ways that God has spoken to me in the past and He continues to do that still.

That said, this blog comes another CD I was listening to. I was listening to Bon Jovi's CD Have a Nice Day. There are two songs that got me thinking. At first they do not seem to be related, but the more I have pondered the lyrics, the more I have seen how they do tie together.
Note: I have chosen not post the recordings of these songs as the videos I was finding were a little more dicey than I was willing to post on my blog, but you can find them online if you so choose. Just know that there is a reason why I did not choose to post them.
Regardless of the content of music videos, there is something running through these lyrics that I think is worth stopping to consider.

The first song that got me started thinking about this is called Welcome to Wherever You Are. The lyrics are the following:
Maybe we're all different but we're still the same
We all got the blood of Eden running through our veins
I know sometimes it's hard for you to see
You're caught between just who you are and who you want to be
If you feel alone and lost and need a friend
Remember every new beginning is some other beginning's end

(Chorus) Welcome to wherever you are
This is your life; you made it this far
Welcome, you got to believe
That right here, right now
You're exactly where you're supposed to be
Welcome to wherever you are

When everybody's in and you're left out
And you feel you're drowning in a shadow of a doubt
Everyone's a miracle in their own way
Just listen to yourself, not what other people say
When it seems you're lost, alone and feelin' down
Remember everybody's different; just take a look around

(Chorus)

Be who you want to be
Be who you are
Everyone's a hero
Everyone's a star
When you want to give up and your heart's about to break
Remember that you're perfect; God makes no mistakes

Now, obviously some of the "theology" in those lyrics is a not sound. But I also think there is truth to the overall message of the song. Most of us have been in the situation of feeling stuck between who we are and who we want to be, or we feel like we have been left on the outside of a group we want to be in. We go through times when we feel lost, alone, or are full of doubt. The verses of the songs describe a common human condition.

The chorus welcomes people to where they are, to what their life is. That is the first thing that I believe needs to happen for us to move forward in life. We need to acknowledge where we are and where we have come from. It is then that we can make choices to move forward and to change things. That is when we can work to "be who we want to be." That is when we will be able to keep going when we want to give up.

[Rabbit-trail here that may stir up a bit in people. I am not stating fact here . . . just musing.]
When I first read the line "Remember that you're perfect; God makes no mistakes." I found myself saying I disagree with the first part and agree with the second part. But the more I think about it, the more I begin to wonder if I can cautiously agree with the first part. No, we are not perfect on our own. No, we cannot achieve that while we live on this earth. But we are made in the image of a perfect God and while our image of Him that we portray while here on earth may be flawed because of The Fall, we do still reflect that image to some degree. Now, before someone jumps all over me, I am not saying that I am perfect or that I can attain perfection on my own. I am just wondering if since I am made in the image of God and I am made exactly the way He created me to be I am "perfect in God's eyes."
[Okay, back to my original post now . . .]

As I started to think about this second song that has lyrics that caught my attention, I started to see how finding freedom and pursuing that begins with seeing where we are - who we are - and having a picture of where we want to be - who we want to be. If we do not start there, with what the last song talked about, I do not think we can find freedom.

The second song is called Bells of Freedom. The lyrics are as follows:
I have walked all alone, on these streets I call home
Streets of hope, streets of fear
Through the sidewalk cracks time disappears
I was lost, on my knees on the eve of defeat
As I choked back the tears
There's silent scream no one could hear
So far away from everything you know is true
Something inside that makes you do what you got to do

(Chorus) Ring them bells, ring them loud
Let them ring here and now
Just reach out and ring the Bells of Freedom
When your world's crashing down
Like you've lost every round
Stand your ground
And ring the bells of freedom

Up the steps of the church
Through the fields and the dirt
In the dark I have seen
That the sun still shines for the one who believes
So far away
So full of doubt and needing proof
Just close your eyes and hear the sounds inside of you

When we feel the tension of who we are and who we want to be, we often realize that there are things that are keeping us back from becoming who we want to be. We find that there are things we need to find freedom from. We have to face our fear and our doubt about becoming who we want to be, so that we can find the freedom to become who we want to be.

Ultimately, as disciples of Christ, who we want to be should be in line with who God wants us to be - the person we are called to be in Scripture. This will take willingness to obey on our part, but I do think that it is worth it. Finding freedom from all in this world that Satan uses to hold us in captivity is not easy, but as I am learning, it is definitely worth it.

Anyways, I hope I was actually able to connect my thoughts that went with these two songs in a coherent manner. It makes sense in my head, but putting it into words was a little more difficult than I thought it would be.