A bit of story-type writing to start this one off...
She'd held it all together for so long. She was proud that she could do so. Looking from the outside no one knew that storm that was brewing deep inside. She wasn't even completely aware of it either; she'd pushed it so deep inside.
Life just kept going. Work. Family time. Responsibilities at home. Church commitments. Time with friends. It didn't stop with the challenges of life. The outside looked the same no matter what.
But life inside was not the same. Change and uncertainty. Unexpected loss. She had no control over most of it. But she kept on going, doing all the same things.
She shared snippets of the inside with a few people. But no one knew the full story. She kept it to herself.
Until one day she couldn't. It just became too much. She could no longer keep the storm deep inside. It came to the surface and interrupted her carefully planned life. Things just couldn't keep going the same anymore.
The strong one wasn't anymore. The one everyone else depended on wasn't there to be depended on anymore.
Life came tumbling down. Or, at least, the false one that had been presented to others did.
The truth is, she was kind of glad it did. The pressure of the pretending and pushing through had been exhausting. There was a freedom she didn't realize she could find in admitting she didn't have it all perfectly together all the time - in admitting she needed help right now.
-----------------------
That story is one that has been true of me at different times in life. And maybe has been true of you as well.
So often we go through life pretending we have it all together. Pretending we're all fine. When the truth is anything but that. And eventually we find ourselves at the end of all we can do and our perfectly constructed world comes crashing down around us.
I've been thinking lately about why we're so often reluctant to admit we don't have it all together all the time. The truth I've come to is a hard one to swallow. But sometimes the truth is - even when it's also helpful and something we need.
We don't admit it's not all perfect because of pride. Our pride gets in the way of our being honest.
We may even have people around us who would care and help if we asked, but our pride still keeps us from asking. Our pride keeps distance between us and those God has placed in our lives.
Scripture warns us of the dangers of pride. The way it sets us up to fall. The way it isolates us from others and from God.
We have to deal with our pride before it deals with us. When we do, we learn to ask for help from others and from God before we find our carefully constructed world crumbling around us.
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
Sunday, May 10, 2015
My Love It and Struggle with it Relationship with Mother's Day
Today is a day on the calendar that can be a difficult day sometimes.
Mother's Day.
Not because I don't appreciate my Mom. I do. I'm convinced I have the best Mom in the world.
Not because I don't think Moms should be celebrated. I do. I know so many who do a great job at what they have been given to do.
I struggle with Mother's Day sometimes because I'm not one and I wish I was. If my life had gone according to my plan for it, I would be. But, God has had something different in store for me than I had planned.
I have a great life. I am blessed beyond anything I could have asked for. I get to do so much that I enjoy and to spend time with people I can't imagine my life without.
But, there are still moments when I struggle with feeling like something I've dreamed about and desired hasn't happened. Mother's Day is one of those days. One of those times when I struggle with feeling like that part of what I've desired hasn't happened yet.
In the last few days, I've seen links to many and read a few of the posts others have written that talk about how we shouldn't make a big deal out of Mother's Day in church because of women who desire to be mothers and aren't for any number of reasons. I don't want this to be that kind of a post. I believe that we need to celebrate our mothers and all that they do. They deserve it.
But, that doesn't change the fact that when Mother's Day comes each year, while I'm celebrating my Mom, I'm also struggling with the reality that I'm not one yet and I wish I was. It makes it hard sometimes.
I'm learning that we can be content with the life that we have - the life that God has given to us. But, at the same time, we can still have desires for something different. It all comes down to what consumes us. I can let my desire for what I don't have consume me, or I can acknowledge it's there and still seek to live my life to the full with what God has for me right now.
In those moments when it's hard . . . In those moments when the reality of that part of my plans for my life not happening yet is on my mind and taking up space it usually doesn't in my head . . . Those the times when I'm grateful for a God who cares and for family and friends who care.
When it comes to Mother's Day . . . we need to celebrate it . . . even in the church . . . maybe especially in the church with the way the family is under attack in our culture. But, we also need to be aware that for some people it is a difficult day . . . for any number of reasons. Reasons as diverse as the people who struggle with it.
We need to learn how to celebrate some and how to care for those who are struggling at the same time. That's what the church should be. That's what we were called to be. It may not be easy. We may not do it well all the time. But, I believe that is what God desires for us.
Mother's Day.
Not because I don't appreciate my Mom. I do. I'm convinced I have the best Mom in the world.
Not because I don't think Moms should be celebrated. I do. I know so many who do a great job at what they have been given to do.
I struggle with Mother's Day sometimes because I'm not one and I wish I was. If my life had gone according to my plan for it, I would be. But, God has had something different in store for me than I had planned.
I have a great life. I am blessed beyond anything I could have asked for. I get to do so much that I enjoy and to spend time with people I can't imagine my life without.
But, there are still moments when I struggle with feeling like something I've dreamed about and desired hasn't happened. Mother's Day is one of those days. One of those times when I struggle with feeling like that part of what I've desired hasn't happened yet.
In the last few days, I've seen links to many and read a few of the posts others have written that talk about how we shouldn't make a big deal out of Mother's Day in church because of women who desire to be mothers and aren't for any number of reasons. I don't want this to be that kind of a post. I believe that we need to celebrate our mothers and all that they do. They deserve it.
But, that doesn't change the fact that when Mother's Day comes each year, while I'm celebrating my Mom, I'm also struggling with the reality that I'm not one yet and I wish I was. It makes it hard sometimes.
I'm learning that we can be content with the life that we have - the life that God has given to us. But, at the same time, we can still have desires for something different. It all comes down to what consumes us. I can let my desire for what I don't have consume me, or I can acknowledge it's there and still seek to live my life to the full with what God has for me right now.
In those moments when it's hard . . . In those moments when the reality of that part of my plans for my life not happening yet is on my mind and taking up space it usually doesn't in my head . . . Those the times when I'm grateful for a God who cares and for family and friends who care.
When it comes to Mother's Day . . . we need to celebrate it . . . even in the church . . . maybe especially in the church with the way the family is under attack in our culture. But, we also need to be aware that for some people it is a difficult day . . . for any number of reasons. Reasons as diverse as the people who struggle with it.
We need to learn how to celebrate some and how to care for those who are struggling at the same time. That's what the church should be. That's what we were called to be. It may not be easy. We may not do it well all the time. But, I believe that is what God desires for us.
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
When You're Barely Hanging On
Sometimes life can leave us feeling like we're barely holding on. One event or a series of events occurs and we don't know if we can keep going. We feel lost, alone, tired, scared, or maybe we don't feel anything at all.
That's when God can begin to seem far away - like He doesn't here our cries. We can begin to doubt His goodness and His love for us.
Sometimes in our frantic struggle to keep hanging on we're actually missing out on God being right there with us in the middle of our struggle. We get so focused on trying to do what we need to do that we miss God right there. He will catch us if we just stop fighting, if we just let go of what we're trying so hard to hold onto.
Psalm 139 reminds us that we can never escape from God's presence:
When life has left us feeling like we're barely holding on, our best choice is usually to let go. And when we let go, we find ourselves held in God's arms - exactly the place we need to be.
That's when God can begin to seem far away - like He doesn't here our cries. We can begin to doubt His goodness and His love for us.
Sometimes in our frantic struggle to keep hanging on we're actually missing out on God being right there with us in the middle of our struggle. We get so focused on trying to do what we need to do that we miss God right there. He will catch us if we just stop fighting, if we just let go of what we're trying so hard to hold onto.
Psalm 139 reminds us that we can never escape from God's presence:
Where can I go from your Spirit?If there's no where we can go to escape from God's presence, then even in those moments where life has left us feeling like we're barely holding on, He is still there. We don't have to try to frantically do the right things to get a better grip.
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me,
and the light become night around me,"
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you." (verses 7-12)
When life has left us feeling like we're barely holding on, our best choice is usually to let go. And when we let go, we find ourselves held in God's arms - exactly the place we need to be.
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