Staying - Even When it's Hard (Part One)

 Why do you stay?

Why don't you just go where your friends go?

These are questions I've been asked a few times in the last few months. Always talking specifically about church and my choice to stay even when some of the people I call my closest friends are no longer there.

It's not a question with a quick or easy answer. And I'm careful in how I answer because I don't want to offend people, nor do I was to tell someone else what they should do. I've wrestled with whether to write this post and I've wrestled with whether to share it.

Before I go on, I want to be clear: this is why I chose to stay, even when it sometimes feels like it would be easier to just start going elsewhere. I have people in my life who have made different decisions in similar circumstances and I won't tell them they're wrong to have made a different choice. I also will never belittle or put down someone's hurt and pain and the decisions that result from it. 

And, if it's a situation where abuse of any kind is happening, then I would never tell someone to stay. If it's a church situation where abuse is happening, then staying is not the safe option and I will never argue that one.

While I've come to my conclusion and decision on staying based on my study of the Bible, that doesn't mean I've got it all perfectly figured out. I answer this question from my own experience as well.

As I get started, I believe there is one thing I can say for sure is true for all who call themselves Christians. The writer of Hebrews puts it this way:

"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together as some as in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another - and all the more as you see the day approaching. (Hebrews 10:24-25, emphasis mine)

We're told not to give up meeting together. When you read the book of Acts or any of the letters to the churches in Scripture, they were all written to a group of people, to a church. The Christian life is not about " me and Jesus, and no one else."

We need to have a group of other Christians we're doing life with. And not just a group of people who all think like us, talk like us, are about the same age or stage of life as us. If Paul's words to the church Philippi are any indication (see Philippians 2:1-4), then the church is a diverse group of people because we have a need to learn how to move together in unity and put others first.

We need the kids that we see running around at church. We need the senior who always greets you with a smile and a handshake. We need the family who we wouldn't otherwise ever connect with. We need the single people, the married couples, the seniors, the kids, the youth, that make up a local church gathering.

But, it something that I see that makes me wonder as we emerge from a couple years of gathering as the church being a challenge. We've gotten used to listening to whatever service we want from wherever around the world sitting on our couches in our pajamas. Now, I'm not saying church online is bad or wrong. I think it's a great thing. But, even in that, we need to have a community of believers - a church - that we're connecting with regularly and consistently - even if it's online. We need people who are allowed to really get to know us and us them.

So, I guess the first part of my answer to why I stay is because I believe that having a church - a gathering of a diverse group of people - is something that Scripture says we need and should be making a priority. My friends are a great group of people, but there's something about having a multi-generational gathering where the senior who has watched me grow up has the opportunity to continue to speak into my life.

I think that's where I'm going to finish this post. There's more to come in my answer to the question of why I stay. But, for the sake of length, I'll share that in a future week.