Lie #7: Single Adults Can't Talk to Married People of the Opposite Sex

 Lie #7: Single men & women should never talk to married men & women of the opposite sex because it has the appearance of evil.

This one is a tricky one. I'm just going to acknowledge that from the start.

But, I'm also going to state right away: something I need a man's perspective on something. And, if I can never talk to one who I know enough to value his perspective, where am I supposed to get that?

I'm not talking multiple, long, one-on-one conversations. That obviously crosses a line. But, a shorter conversation in a public space with other people around shouldn't be a problem, especially when the married person's spouse is aware & okay with it.

God created us different. We see things differently from the people around us. And sometimes that different perspective is needed. It's important we have space for it.

In our desire to avoid the appearance of anything evil, I think we're made something a problem that shouldn't be. We've actually taught people to be afraid of talking to someone of the opposite sex, rather than teaching them how to have healthy interactions. And we've made it an even bigger issue if one of the people is married & the other is single.

Instead of helping people have healthy boundaries with interactions with the opposite sex, we've done exactly the thing we accuse our culture of doing. We've sexualized everything about the interactions of a man & woman. Whether we intended to or not, we've told people - especially single women - that they are sexual objects & therefore cannot have a conversation with a man, because it will go places it should never go.

Maybe that sounds harsh to you, but it's something I've been told by multiple people in different settings over the years. It hurts every time I hear it, because I'm being reduced to a sexual object & my motives are being assumed to be impure without a second thought.

Remember, I'm talking about a conversation in the church foyer or other place where others are around - not a one-on-one conversation along. Sometimes, the conversation with the married person's spouse included, & always with their knowledge.

Instead of fear, let's learn to have healthy interactions with each other. Let's learn to respect & honour each other.